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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Appease me while I'm full of lurgy and misdirected bile dear b3tans. Apparently recommending a tv show that you think someone may like is now bad and wrong mkay because it's popular
So instead of telling me how everything popular that the masses like is shit, how about you tell me what cult/niche things you don't like? From film, music or anything else you can think of that really grinds your gears and rankles you at the sight of it

I've never understood the appeal of Princess Bride. I've watched it a couple of times and I just don't find it funny.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:20, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
not liking the Princess Bride means you are defective and must be put to death I'm afraid

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:22, Reply)
Few more days of feeling like this and it'll happen naturally. And I need to go shopping because I'm hungry and have no food :(

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:23, Reply)
It's poncey

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:23, Reply)
SHUT UP!

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:26, Reply)
do one
ya bute
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:26, Reply)
Fargo
The Big Lebowski is my favourite film ever so I'm capable of "getting" the Coen Brother's humour. I just don't understand why Fargo is so popular.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:25, Reply)
I prefer Fargo to Lebowski

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)
I ain't seen Fargo, but Big Lebowski is great.

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:29, Reply)
Didn't like "O'Brother, Where art thou" or something like that.

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:29, Reply)
I really love that film
partly because of the song, and the guitar playing on it. great stuff.

the whole film amuses me though
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:31, Reply)
DO I LOOK LIKE I USE FOP!!!!

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:31, Reply)
I'm a Dapper Dan man

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:34, Reply)
The bit where he pulls his false beard down a bit, in time with the music, is hilarious
and I can't explain WHY it's so funny.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:37, Reply)
"The best thing you ever done for them girls
was get run over by that train."
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:42, Reply)
I thank god your mother died in childbirth
if sh'ed seen you she'd have died of shame!
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:46, Reply)
I'm so low-brow that I can't even name anything cult or niche

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)
I fucking hate cult niches.

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)
Hmm
Lee Evans
Ahmed The Dead Terrorist
The Mighty Boosh
The Office
Gavin & Stacey
Arctic Monkeys

Strangely, these are accepted by most. But if I dare say that I don't like Slayer, I usually have to run!

Although there are no words to describe how much I hate Something About Mary & War Of The Worlds (Tom Cruise remake). Piles of unmitigated shite.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)
Films that take £2,076,411 and £8,644,787 for your last choices don't really count as cult or niche. But thanks for playing

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:33, Reply)
Slayer have sold hundreds of thousands of albums, they're hardly cult either
but they are awesome.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:46, Reply)
I'm seeing them in August

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)
I'm seeing them twice in March.

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:59, Reply)
Thought they'd cancelled the tour?

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:01, Reply)
It was happening last november
It moved.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:08, Reply)
OH FUCKING CUNTFLAPS
they've cancelled it again. Fucking CUNTS.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:12, Reply)
come to sonisphere
it'll be good for you

although I seem to recall something ridiculous like a honeymoon getting in the way...
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:16, Reply)
Yeah, I'll be in the Cook Islands.
I prefer the cook islands to Stevenage.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:18, Reply)
that is a sensible preference

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:21, Reply)
Good point
I just wanted to rant for a while.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:01, Reply)
I have quite a few of them....
- Brit Gangster/Grime Films, such as "Love, Honor & Obay", "Nil By Mouth", "Sexy Beast" and "Final Cut"... basicly, anything with Ray Winstone in.... his new one, 44" Chest is good.
- Robin Williams films
- Frankferters and Fake Cheese
- Will Smith movies and music
- The Offspring and Semisonic
- Cooking shows, I can watch them all day long.
- 'casual' games, such as Rockband.
- Ricky Gervais
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:28, Reply)
are these things you do or don't like?

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:29, Reply)
Do like

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:30, Reply)
ok, thought so
I could watch cookery shows all day too. great stuff.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:31, Reply)
Ricky Gervais
=(

Cooking shows though - oh baby. Even though I am the worst cook on earth I can tell you a lot about cooking just from TV. Saturday Kitchen is the ultimate hangover show.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:37, Reply)
fucking ricky gervais
well done for fooling the world into thinking that the ""being a complete cock" thing is an act.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:38, Reply)
^this
also, the idea that in the last episode you can feel sorry for or actually like David Brent is pathetic. The character is pure evil, just because he's too thick to realise it doesn't make it any less obvious.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:44, Reply)
What's even worse
is as much as he tries - the rest of his "career" or "act" is basically David Brent-lite.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:53, Reply)
that is because he is just like david brent
a dumb, annoying tosser
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:57, Reply)
Agreed
Steve Coogan is also Alan Partridge, but this does not impair my enjoyment of AP.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:17, Reply)
Stardust!
I concur. I really like the film Stardust and considered the only thing wrong with it to be the presence of Ricky Gervais. I then realised that he was only in it to be deprived of the ability to speak and then annoy someone so much that he's stabbed. How splendid.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:17, Reply)
completely agree
love the film (and the book) but he spoils it by being himself

his demise is truly justified, and I wish the same would happen in real life
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 15:46, Reply)
If i were to give this any thought
I would probably get no work done for the rest of the day and would be stricken with bile induced indigestion, then pick a fight with a stranger on the way home.

I am going to think happy thoughts for the rest of the day and avoid potential incarceration.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:29, Reply)
Oh go on, it could be cathartic

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:35, Reply)
You have once again posted my mind
However a random few....

Woody Allen films
Leaving Las Vegas
Red fucking Dwarf
Mighty Boosh
T Rex, Roxy Music, Bowie, Iggy Pop's entire solo career, Bowie, 8 million others.....
Self consciously 'cult' US shows such as 6 Feet Under, My Name is Earl, ER, CSI etc etc etc. They make them specifically to be 'cult', and have done ever since Twin Peaks.
Terry 'smug in-joke' Pratchett
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Star Trek
Dr Who
Damien Hirst and his fucking ilk
Donnie Darko

I dislike intensely things that try deliberately to be 'a bit weird' or 'cult' - they inevitably come across as trying too hard. One step up from Colin Hunt from IT with his Simpson's socks and Star Trek tie.

Going for a sandwich - more from me shortly....
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:49, Reply)
There's just no helping you really
you are raging against things that aren't there. Other than Mighty Boosh, and alright I'll give you Bowie too, actually Damien Hirst too now, but not when he started as an artist, none of those things are "trying to be cult" ER had eleven (or was it twelve) series and was really well written, Terry Pratchett has never had a "smug in-joke" his writing has been consistent since he started writing, in fact if anything he's got better.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:58, Reply)
CSI is entertaining too
not entirely sure why, but not for cult reasons

I totally agree with Al on Terry Pratchett, except that he has definitely got better. The first couple of books pale almost into insignificance against some of the more recent, although his 3rd one was absolutely excellent too.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:11, Reply)
the entire of 'Discworld' is a smug in-joke
about the fantasy genre, surely?

And as for those 'cult US shows' - invariably hour long episodes on at 9 or 10pm, 'challenging' subject matter, spasticated camera angles, ham-fisted plot twists....'24', The Wire, Lost.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It's a list of things I hate that apparently I shouldn't.


But I fucking well do and that's an end to it.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:48, Reply)
it may have started off as such
in the first book

the subsequent ones have brought in some very good characters and some excellent plots wrapped up in very enjoyable writing.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Be that as it may
I maintain that Discworld as a very concept is itself a smug fantasy-genre in-joke - and therefore Al is what is commonly termed 'completely fucking wrong'.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:01, Reply)
I wouldn't say it's an in-joke
and even if it is, it doesn't alter the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed reading every single Discworld book, finding them intelligent and witty with all the hallmarks of a well written novel.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:09, Reply)
To say, as Al did, that
'Terry Pratchett has never had a "smug in-joke" his writing' is patently untrue though. The Colour of Magic was chock-full of Tolkein gags etc. He may have abandoned this later on but sure as shit he's made in-jokes and plenty of 'em. Just not for me, I'm afraid, much as my countless books on ancient mythology etc are similarly not for most other folks...
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:38, Reply)
I like a bit of ancient mythology
anything you particularly recommend?
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 15:14, Reply)
Pratchett getting better?!
Have you read Unseen Academicals?! I threw it down less than thirty pages in to it. Poorly written bollocks. A real shame, he's finally lost it.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 15:29, Reply)
Mostly spot on
but leave Bowie and Bolan alone you fiend!
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:59, Reply)
Don't bother
this is B3tas own rage-a-holic. He's got to the stage where if he was actually faced with any of these things he wouldn't be able to remember why he doesn't like them, he'd just make a weird gurgling noise in his throat and flap his arms around like a happy sealion.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:01, Reply)
Oi!
That's my 60s-style 'freakout dancing'.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)
I adored six feet under, so you're just wrong on that one. I'll agree with ER to a point though. It was massively successful, but after season 8 it went the way of so many and just started chundering out rubbish storylines and badly created characters.

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:02, Reply)
I liked six feet under until nate (I think) knocked up that woman
she was shit and it spoilt the whole thing.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:20, Reply)
my list would be:
Napoleon Dynamite
Little Britain
Katharine Tate
and prolly other stuff that's just not funny, at all.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:42, Reply)
Those Japanese anime films everyone raves about.
Completely bores the pants off me.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)
^ This

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:55, Reply)
Seconded.
Badly animated shite the lot of it.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:00, Reply)
Same here
Wank, wanky, wank, wank, wank, wank.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Some of them are just plain incomprehensible
but they are an invaluable tool to help one try to understand the Japanese psyche - if you watch even just a few of them (I'm no buff and agree most are terrible) it's plain to see that they are obsessed with mutations and nature rising up against man - from Godzilla to the more mental modern films.

Being the only people on earth to have been nuked has really fucked them up. Like them or not those films are a fascinating anthropological insight into a (so far) unique national phenomenon.

God I'm a pompous ass sometimes, sorry.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:58, Reply)
They're still shite though, Monty
And it's my right as a hooman bean to assert my dislike for them, anthropological merit or not.

Godzilla films, however, are hilarious and can therefore be spared my jerkily-animated-it-all-looks-the-fucking-same-and-the-dubbing-is-bloody-awful-too wrath.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:09, Reply)
Absolutely, dear chap.
I don't even 'like' them myself - I just see them as a window into the minds of a fucked-up nation and, as such, rather interesting. I do love the old Godzilla films though - the one with Jet Jaguar (I think it's Godzilla vs Megalon) is utterly brilliant.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:33, Reply)
Arcade Fire
- elite indie wank.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)
Hear, hear
My sister tried to get me to listen to some of their bilge. I lasted about 20 seconds before it became apparent it was the same standard indie dross that every other shit indie band peddles these days. Now it just sits as a single, infuriating entry on my music library because I can't remember where I downloaded it to in the first place. GRR.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:18, Reply)
Guy Ritchie
...other than Lock, Stock - WTF?
Jason Statham
Vinnie Jones
Paul Gascgoine
Antique programmes on TV

Edited, with apologies.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:55, Reply)
That's six
where are the other 19 things?
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 12:58, Reply)
Since when was football cult or niche?
Do you understand the question?
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:00, Reply)
He's waiting for someone to e-mail him a list
so he can reply.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:01, Reply)
No dice, I'm going to find some food

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:03, Reply)
I have to say I've never been that bothered about
Clerks... I like Mallrats much much more! I was not allowed to have this opinion around some of my friends so I kept quiet and said it was AMAZING... now I care less about what people think of me and I have to say its alright... its not great, its not pants.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:05, Reply)
I have never seen Clerks
it's like me and Scarface, I just feel it's gone past the point where I could ever sit and enjoy it because everyone else has gone on so much.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:06, Reply)
I reckon you would still enjoy Scarface
Although I think Carlitos Way is a more enjoyable film. Scarface is a little over the top.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:10, Reply)
I would agree with you there!
Scarface is very OTT but I still enjoy it. I just can't watch it that much... its a once a year film like The Hurricane, Sleepers and Casino.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:11, Reply)
Aww
I do like Scarface. I watched it with my granddad (he loves all Al Pacino films) and I really enjoyed it. If you ever feel like giving it a whirl I'll happily lend you the dvd! :D
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:10, Reply)
I've had it on video for 5 years!!

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:14, Reply)
Hehehe
Oh dear. Well maybe give it a go sometime. Don't tell anyone you're going to watch it though! Its deffo a Sunday film... follow it with something light and funny though! :D
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:15, Reply)
Like Philadelphia light with garlic & herbs?

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:18, Reply)
Hahaha
Exactly, along with yummy crackers
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:19, Reply)
mmmm
Carr's
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:22, Reply)
I fucking HATE
as in, totally cannot stand, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

To the point that I have to leave the room if it comes on. Larry David is the unfunniest man since Ricky Gervais smeared his fucking smug face all over the world.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:11, Reply)
totally agree with this

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:15, Reply)
Good man...
*pats back manly-ly'
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:15, Reply)
I concur too
massively unfunny and shit.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Excellent. Not just me then.

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:37, Reply)
Oh! YOU!
Hello! Long time no speak - where's my speedboat pls?
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:14, Reply)
Ditto, except I like Ricky Gervais.
CYE is fucking aweful.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:18, Reply)
Me umpteen
Unfunny shite.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:32, Reply)
I should like to add
Freeform 'challenging' jazz (loads of jazz is brilliant but that atonal honking bollocks is awful)
Ken Loach and other depressing UK 'realistic' drama
Trainspotting
Alan Bennett
Most poetry
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Arrested Development
Watched one episode and thought, "meh". Similarly with Six Feet Under. And I don't think I got more than 5 minutes into season 1 episode 1 of The Office before leaping across the room to turn it off before I clawed out my eyes.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Not really cult
but Gavin and Stacey seems to be universally beloved, and I can't work out why. It's drivel.

And Rocky Horror Picture Show a bit. I like the film, and theme nights centred around it are always fun, but I don't get the utter awe that it inspires in people
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Most people just don't have
ANY kind of imagination, sense of self-expression or awareness of anything other than their generic Nike/Sainsburys/Cinema/9-5/Big Brother/Eastenders sheepy way of life, and the opportunity to see a bit of leg or do something 'WACKY!' ("Ooh, I'm mad I am...") is a sheer fucking pant-wetting experience for them. The cunts.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:21, Reply)
Rocky Horror is fucking abysmal
1) it's a musical
2) it involves 'audience participation' - a phrase to turn my blood to ice if ever there was one
3) there's a whole excruciating 'culture' surrounding it, where people go and see it 8 million times and try to outdo each other in pathetic costumes

Utterly fucking bent.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:44, Reply)
I've never seen the film or the show
I always got the impression it would make me curl up with cringeingness
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 15:13, Reply)
They really fucking go for it as well. Sussies, the lot.
Then mince about the cinema singing, bending and more than likely, exchanging.

A fiend of my wife is a bender, and his partner will, probably on demand, get into his frank'n'furter outfit and mince about the fucking place by way of spontaneous entertainment.

By all means do that kind of thing, but do it in the privacy of your own dungeon. It is not funny, ironic OR entertaining. As you said, i would want to curl up and die with fucking embarrassment even being in th esame building as these 'outgoing' party animals.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 15:33, Reply)
Musicals. Any and all, without exception.
Todays 'Indie' music. Any band, you choose, it doesn't matter. From the Kaiser Chiefs to fucking Snow Patrol, every one a pile of jangly pish that is neither entertaining nor exciting.

Little Britain (easy target i suppose) - seriously though, at what point did they think they were funny? The first time they drooled out the catchphrases, or the millionth time? The only thing more annoying, were the utter CUNTS who enjoyed it, or even worse than them, were the cunts who would watch it but not really enjoy it, but it gave them a leg up on whatever pathetic social ladder they inhabited.

Travelling, i think i've said this before, but I seriously cannot understand why folk want to basically rough it for a few years. A few weeks tops, but seriously, having the squirts on every continent does NOT appeal to me. The thing is though, they love it, wax lyrical about all the crazy night up drinking cheap, weak beer, hooting with a bunch of other one dimensional braying cunts.

Batman film, wif that cunt what died in it. Seriously, what a piss weak film. Goodies and baddies with a big budget. Pure and utter wank.

Giving to charity. No thanks, i'll pass. I'm far too cynical to think that my £10 or whatever would make it to Sudan...possibly about 20p of it would. These charity cunts don't work for nothing you know. That is not to say i wouldn't want to help my fellow man, i do have SOME compassion. I just prefer to do it in a much more direct way.

I said i wasn't gonna do this, but i felt compelled. i will have to offer something up on the other 'positive' thread and balance out the bile.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:22, Reply)
Gene Fucking Kelly

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:29, Reply)
*high fives*

(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:29, Reply)
You just high-fived Gene Kelly
I'm telling you, you did.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 14:46, Reply)
Singstar
I was made to feel like a social fucking leper over the holidays after they started on it at my place at Xmas. Hell, i even set the thing up for them. Then let them get on with it....but their ire rose and the drink got consumed and they went from cajoling me into it doing to simply dismissing my presence.

Stupid fucking 'nine to five' CUNTS.
(, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 15:35, Reply)

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