Morning
Not good morning, because it's not.
Hello people of b3ta, long time, blah, blah, blah.

Large dogs have been into our garden and tipped over our bins, gone through them and strewn the contents everywhere. I'm pissed off about this.

I went out for a meal last night with the SO and my parents. I had steak for the first time in ages, I've had indigestion and felt ill ever since. This does not please me either.

I've not come here just to gripe and moan - although that works for me. I've also come here to say hello.

Hello.

What's pissing you off this morning?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:01, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Work
We are starting a major contract this morning. That is bad enough, but add to that:

a) We are short on the ground already, 5 people doing 8 peoples work, with innumerable miles between each job;

b) a bitch of a boss, who bullies, harangues, and generally demeans everyone, unless they are captain brown nose;

And, worst of all;- c) it's f***ing ASDA.

I could weep.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:05, Reply)

Look on the bright side
at least it's not Iceland.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:09, Reply)

That is tempting fate
I bet the next news we get will be that we have that contract too.

Any good cliffs in Hampshire that anyone can recommend? Beachyhead is such a drive.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:16, Reply)

Devil's Punchbowl just outside Winchester
Not so much as a cliff as 'a bit of a hill', but it's lovely round there, nice enough perhaps to dissuade you from the 'coward's way out'...

Otherwise there are plenty of motorway bridges which amply make up for the lack of cliffage.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Work seconded
Captain brown nose, as you so excellently put it, is pissing me off today.

The boss we share had a holiday last week and is only back today. Despite doing effectively nothing last Thursday and Friday, Captain Brown Nose is on the phone to the returning boss with this huge list of difficult tasks she undertook last week. Apparently she got into like this massive argument with XXX and normally she'd just agree but this time she had to put her foot down.

Meanwhile me and a few colleagues listen with eyes-a-rollin.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Are you sure it was dogs
and not goblins?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:12, Reply)

You could have a point there
but last week when it happened I saw their bloody big dog paw prints.

Unless of course the goblins were wearing dog paw boots.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:23, Reply)

Goblins?
I think you need to find out where Wookie was last night
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:35, Reply)

They're what I wear
When tipping over bins.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:38, Reply)

*shakes fist*

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:12, Reply)

*rubs chickenlady's used...*
...Ok, even I won't go there.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:25, Reply)

*fists sheik*

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:14, Reply)

My rare inclination to use strong cider to relieve boredom
which popped up yesterday. Now my guts want out, my head wants bed and my body wants a hot water bottle.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:24, Reply)

OH man ! Dogs !
I love dogs.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:28, Reply)

In our place in cyprus, there was a pack of stray dogs, I called them "The Medview Maffia" (Medview being the owners of the site we're on).
There was a 3 legged dog called Tripod, I loved that dog, it had such a lovely personailty and could smell a BBQ from over 1m. Nobody owned him, and everyone did.

He had to be put down though, because aledgidly he pooped somewhere, and a load of cunts got the arse.

I cryed a little bit when I saw someone chuck a load of dogs in a medview van, took them to some field, and then 15 minutes later, you could hear gunfire in the distance. Sad Times.

I also once saw a dog in a cage at a carnival, he was a prize. The cage wasn't that much bigger than the dog. Everyone told the dirty fucking cunt off, so he dropped it off in the by the harbour, near a main road. It can't have been more than a week old. I picked it up and took it to the harber-man (who I was friends with, and looked after strays with the rest of the resturants), but it kept on following me everywhere. That was the closet I've been to owning a dog. I would have loved to have kept it, but it wouldn't be fair with me being a part-time cypriot.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:46, Reply)

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/8446640.stm
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:06, Reply)

YES !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I'm pissing myself off today
mainly because I am a complete and utter fucking idiot and cannot seem to stop myself from doing completely the wrong things for what I think are the right reasons.
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:49, Reply)

If they're the right reasons
why is it pissing you off?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:54, Reply)

aha
what I think are the right reasons and what are the actual right reasons are not always one and the same thing
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Without getting all metaphysical on you
it's your brain. If the reasons you think are right are right, then the right reasons are right, right? If the wrong reasons you think are right are wrong, and you're right to think they're wrong, then you're right, right?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:03, Reply)

err

(Halfy By light alone, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:05, Reply)

EXACTLY!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:17, Reply)

Right!
I mean, err, wrong.

No - definitely right.

EDIT: or wrong. Definitely one or the other.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:07, Reply)

MAN THE FUCK UP

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I'm out of rizzlas.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:20, Reply)

My town's officialy better than your town,
unless you're from Reading, Cambridge and Edinburgh or Brighton.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8464470.stm
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:30, Reply)

It really isn't, you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Not my words MB, the words of independent think-tank Centre for Cities!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I'll bet they're based in Milton Keynes

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Nope SE5
www.centreforcities.org/index.php?id=36
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Ah, that explains it
South London is horrible. South East London is even more horrible than that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:48, Reply)

My city's been doing ok
Our John Lewis takes more money than all others apart from the Oxford Street store.
^ Unfounded chit-chat I picked up from someone. I like it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I have to spend £120 on train travel into work for a 1 hour meeting.
It's my own fault - I chose to live 125 miles from work - but it grates that I have to travel at a peak time this morning because a meeting was scheduled for 11am. Off-peak is 'only' £50 rtn.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:21, Reply)

That is a huge distance!
If I took the train to somewhere 100 miles away my journey would be 4 hours there. Fit that into a working day!

Eevr thought of moving closer? Or do you do much from home?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I used to live 5 miles away from work.
That meant spending an unfeasible amount of money living in London though. Swings and roundabouts. I usually only do the commute once or twice a week.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Any ideas who the owner of the Hounds of the Trashkervilles might be?
You need to have words.
I am cross on your behalf, but that's partly because we've been discussing the constant yapping from the dogs next door to my folks' house. Next door's semi is smaller than my mum's but they still choose to have FOUR barkbarkbark dogs in there. Does your bleeding head in. I might ring the RSPCA actualleh...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Yappy fucking neighbours dogs (angers up the blood)
I got so fed up of my neighbours poodles yapping everytime I went in my garden I stormed round her place to have it out with her, but she seemed like such a lovely old woman who was just lonely and adored her poodles I ended up staying for a couple of hours and drinking tea and petting her poodles.

I am so weak.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:37, Reply)

MAN THE FUCK UP

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:39, Reply)

You're right
after work i'll go round there and punch her in the face. Should I take biscuits?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:40, Reply)

No man
you need to steal her biscuits
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:42, Reply)

RIGHT! *psyches self up*
She's dead!

it will be nice to see Edward & Oliver (her poodles), perhaps i'll buy them a squeaky toy...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:49, Reply)

You need a slap

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Next door to my mum are cunts
Fat twizzler cunts who have so little room in their house that the car is their fridge (no lie) and they still fill the house with sunbeds and dogs.
My uncle saw the mother get out of a taxi round the corner from her house (so her husband didn't know she's got a taxi for a 10 min walk) and ram a WHOLE MARS BAR in her gob.
She looks like that fat fella with the funny eye who's in a lot of very English films. Except she's orange with thin hair dyed black.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:41, Reply)

They sound like a class act

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I was going to post '*shakes head in disbelief*'
but I'm afraid it's all too believable.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Unfortunately there are a few possible candidates
just one of the problems living in the sticks surrounded by country folk with very large dogs - mostly they're okay but we have a family of country-chavs next door and they have four dogs...we suspect it's them, but my mother blames them for our logs being nicked, a couple of plants going, the hole in the ozone layer, higher council tax and the occasional bad smell.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I have to go to Chester
to see a customer.

Actually it gets me out the office so I'm quite pleased *smugs it up to Vipros levels*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:39, Reply)

And bits of Chester are well cute

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I am yet to be convinced

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:42, Reply)

It's actually not that bad, considering where it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:50, Reply)

But it's far away from where I am.
2 1/2 (each way!!) hours in a car with a man I've never met before. And anyone who knows me will know I have an urge to talk shit continuosly in cars.

Also I can't spell continuouslyeye
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:58, Reply)

in cars
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:00, Reply)

fair point
well made
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Ah. Good luck with that, then.
And my commiserations to your passenger.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Pft
I know you're jealous really Monty, I bet you'd love to be in a car with me for that long. In fact I think most people here would.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I'm not going to lie.
I think I'd probably love it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Today is officially the most depressing day of the year...

Also work sucks and I have a hangover.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I have had tea and pains au chocolat
and my hangover has seemingly fizzled into nothing. Now if I could just get my tummy to settle...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 9:58, Reply)

For once I'm totally fine
Like an idiot I didn't make it to bed til half six Sunday morning, but I got up for a bath and a pizza about 4pm yesterday, read about Genghis Khan for half an hour then slept right through til this morning so I am perfectly OK. I haven't slept so much in years.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:02, Reply)

*rubs tummy*
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Are you grooming me?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I thought I already had.
I figured you were primed and ready for the next step.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Ooh what's the next step?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:25, Reply)

You wake up naked in my car boot with your hands tied behind your back.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:32, Reply)

he wouldn't like that...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:36, Reply)

It does seem a little 'forward'.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Well there's no point in beating around the bush.
We're both adults.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:42, Reply)

He certainly didn't last time

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 10:41, Reply)

That I need to go into town
and sort a new mobile out, because the one I currently have isn't exactly top of the line. It neither rings or has symbols to use when texting. As in all I can use are full stops. Need a new phone.

But I can't leave because I'm waiting for a parcel to arrive and this is the third time they've tried to deliver it and they won't try again.

Also someone isn't returning my texts (which is really getting to me), and when I put fish and chips in the oven earlier, I got it out, went to put vinegar on and the screw cap came off. Thus turning everything very brown and very, very vinegary.

Excuse me whilst I throw the laptop against the wall in a rage.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I have poison ivy.
How I got it during the winter I have no idea.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 18 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)