Hello all
I need some help.

Last week, a friend of mine was diagnosed with Bipolar & Split-Personality disorder. She's just stopped being bullied hideously, and her family aren't much help. As a result, she's currently feeling rock bottom. Last night she texted me, telling me she wants to die, and that she'd taken all of her meds. At this point, I try phoning, but she just keeps cancelling every call.

I managed to get her address off her sister, and phoned an ambulance for her (as I'm 40 miles away, and so no help). I then keep phoning. After a while she answers, just to shout at me for phoning an ambulance, as she just wanted to die alone, and was refusing to let them in. After that she just ignored all calls, then turned her phone off.

At this point there's nothing more I can do, so I'm bouncing off the walls trying to think of some way I can help, but I come up short. After about 20 mins, I get a text where she tells me she's now in the hospital, so I phone the local one, asking whether she had been admitted. The 3 local hospitals said no, and I tried again after an hour, they still said no.

Now, there is no doubt in my mind that she didn't actually want to die, but I don't know whether this is a cry for help, or if she's just attention seeking. If it hadn't been for the diagnosis last week, I wouldn't have been quite as worried, but now it's even better, as her Dad is kicking her out for causing trouble. My question is aimed at those who are Bipolar, or who know someone with it.

Is this normal? And what do you reckon the chances of her trying again are?

I know it's vague, but I can't help worrying. Cheers.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:18, 82 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Crazy chicks are good in the sack.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:20, Reply)

but seriously not much you can do I'm afraid, keep in contact with her but expect to be messed around.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

He should buy her some KFC

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I was waiting for that.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Just go to KFC yourself you lazy shit

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:00, Reply)

that's bollocks in my experience

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Can't help with the substantive question
But the hospitals would not have been able to tell you if she was there for reasons of confidentiality. Assuming she's an adult, they wouldn't have been able to answer anyone who asked.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I was unsure about that
Her sister phoned too, and they said she'd not been brought in to her too.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

not true
wouldn't be the case if she'd been sectioned
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 15:58, Reply)

those who are bipolar practically everyone on /OT
( thealternativefact, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I'm not bipolar.
I'm always depressed.
( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I doubt anyone could answer your question
without a fair amount of deeper information. Fair enough, you're clutching at straws and I'm not surprised you're going out of your mind with worry, but I don't know if you'll find those answers here. What's clear is that she needs some kind of help.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Even if she's 'just' attention-seeking,
there'll be a reason she's seeking it.
( thealternativefact, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:23, Reply)

She should come to B3ta for all her attention seeking needs.

( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Oh man she should consolidate all of her personalities into one easy repayment, drop out of Uni and get a job

This is about as helpful as I can be...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Ha! Gonz would be proud

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:28, Reply)

An ex of mine's mother
tried a good ten times to top herself as a result of Bipolar Disorder. At the time she definitely really, really wanted to die - hence the multiple attempts, and all they could to was vegetise (not a real word, I fear) her for a few months with super heavy duty drugs, and slowly wean her off them.

I think there may have been an element of attention seeking but the intention was (I believe) to die.

It's fucking horrible. The only consolation I can offer is that in this instance the woman is fine now, and not even on medication.

Good luck mate - if you choose to get involved you are in for a rough ride.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Uninformed ramblings
Anyone who tells someone they've purposefully taken an OD and wants to die and then gets angry/surprised when an ambulance turns up is an attention seeking idiot. If she truly did want to die on her own why is she texting to tell you?

Fair enough she's in a bad place but it sounds like she's taking advantage of you being a caring friend. Personality disorder or not, this is not acceptable behaviour - either get her to get help herself or let her know you're not going to put up with regular performances of last night. But be a bit more tactful than me.
( djtrialprice, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:29, Reply)

then see if she's up for a bunk-up

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)

This^
crazy chicks love cock.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:32, Reply)

mind you
all women love teh cock
( djtrialprice, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Even the lezzers!

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Yeah you could have a threesome with her and another chick
if she really is 'bipolar'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:44, Reply)

surely it would be with another man
if he wanted to bi-pole-her
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Hahah superb!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Maybe she could go tripolar
for that 'airtight' sensation.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I had a friend (of sorts) at uni who would do this
I got fed up of the late night calls so took a chance and stopped playing his game. He didnt kill himself (but he did drop out).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:31, Reply)

just
be there for her, offer her support if needed or a shoulder to cry on, don't criticise her, don't throw blame around and don't question her reasons.

Just be there, sometimes thats all that someone needs
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I'm kind of stuck between this and djtrialprice's post above.
There's a fine line between being supportive and being taken advantage of. This isn't helped by the fact that both the bi-polar people I've ever known have been self-absorbed attention-seeking twats anyway.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:38, Reply)

True
but I view friendship like marriage, you get each other through all the ups and downs in life and there isn't any sex!

It depends, if she is going through a shit time turning your back on her isn't going to help, even if she is behaving like a silly fucker, however if she is still behaving like this when she is up then yes, run to the hills
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Yeah, but there are friends, and then there are FRIENDS
If my best mate told me he was going to off himself I would call him a massive bender and buy him a pint.

Actually, i'm not sure where i'm going with this so if it's ok with everyone i'll shut up now and get on with some work...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I kinda agree with you Halfy
but regardless of what the friend is going through they're not worth having if they're not prepared to see how their actions affect you. Constantly being at the beck and call of someone who's always threatening to top themself is not a friendship.
( djtrialprice, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

It's inherently selfish
But therein lies the problem - (negative) self-obssession and an inability to see the bigger picture, to use a horrid American management-speak term.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I suppose the only solution
is to not become friends with people who might one day have mental health problems. This is why I always have a questionnaire for people to fill in before I'm prepared to exchange phone numbers.
( djtrialprice, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Personally, if I suspect a friend may be menkle
I stave their head in with a pickaxe.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:03, Reply)

That's always your excuse to the judge
You're just bloody lucky he's your uncle.
( djtrialprice, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:06, Reply)

Quite so.
The class-based two-tier justice system is one of the many great things about this wonderful country.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Agree to a point
but it's worth it, when they do get better. I watched a friend go from perfectly lovely, to a suicide attempting mess who phoned me practically every week to tell me she'd swallowed pills/ cut her wrists etc. It got very tiring and very boring, but she did end up getting better and becoming herself again so it was worth it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:04, Reply)

No it isn't
but knowing you have a friend you can trust implicitly and can unload on when you are not feeling very rational is always very much appreciated in the grand scheme of things, even if short term it can be hard for the person taking the emotional battering
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:13, Reply)

I suppose it depends how close a friend they are
It's a bit glib of me to really sound off on the subject too much as no-one I care about has ever had such difficulties. I'd probably change my tune if it did.
( djtrialprice, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:17, Reply)

To be honest
I have had it with a complete stranger (hairpot) and that was fucking rough for a few weeks afterwards, so I know for definate that I could not and would not ever turn my back to a friend in need
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:19, Reply)

I've known a few Bi-polar people over the years,
and one thing is certain, no matter what you do now will be wrong in their eyes. There is no reasoning or logic that will punch through to help them see that what you are suggesting is at all helpful. Just listen to them, and nothing else.

It is very difficult to just listen.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Yeah, they don't half go on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:38, Reply)

After 3 hours of incoherent moaning,
just saying "why don't you just do this" goes down like a Radon Balloon.

And expecting sex at the end of a massive moan, forget it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:46, Reply)

That's why God created rape.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:50, Reply)

As a cure for lunacy?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

No, as a conversation-stopper.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

"Listen love, if you're gonna keep flappin' your tongue, can I just put my cock there"

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:59, Reply)

g-hyah-hyah-hyah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Surely it would sound more gurgly?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Yeah, your post is wrong.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:10, Reply)

bullshit

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 16:07, Reply)

a good friend of mine was diagnosed as bipolar at uni
it did indeed turn her into a cock hungry monster as others have mentioned.

It also turned her back into a scouser, despite having left liverpool some 20 years previously, and not having had a scouse accent since then.

We frequently had to crack down on her ridiculous behaviour, and in the end (after they had stuffed her full of lithium) she was grateful that we had done so.

Never tried to off herself as far as I know though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:43, Reply)

lithium cock
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

That girl grew up to be...
Roota
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I keep getting faxes through
from Wilkinsons addressed to some other company so I contacted the company in question and told them and I still kept getting the faxes, so I phoned up Wilkinsons and explained this to the woman on the phone and she was really short with me saying unless she had a name she couldn't do anything.

I eventually found a name on the fax and got through to the right person and they should stop now, but I've been sending the faxes back with "incorrect fax number" written on them for a month now, which means some retard in Wilkinsons has been getting these faxes and just ignoring them rather than trying to find out what they mean and who should be dealing with it. That's pretty shit. If you work in Admin at Wilkinsons you're probably a useless shit.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I don't, so I'm not.
Woohoo!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:58, Reply)

a useless BIPOLAR shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I think they're probably a useless bipolar shit who couldn't even get themselves to KFC properly.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I think you should
let them know you're going to top yourself over these faxes. By text.
( djtrialprice, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I might do that.
Sending texts to a business phone must be quite good fun.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:00, Reply)

No, by fax - like Phil Collins

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

What a cunt.
Not for the fax issue but for all the dreadful dirge he churns out.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Really, there's no need to qualify your statement.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:45, Reply)

So who buys it then?
Until he dies my work will continue.

Slap-headed, fat shite-hawk.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Cloth-eared spastics.
There are fucking loads of them out there, you know.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:48, Reply)

'Cloth-eared spastics'
Children love cuddling and feeding them - collect the set. Available from Toys-R-Us and all good toy shops NOW.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:02, Reply)

from the makers of Cabbage (Patch) Kids

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Send them a black fax loop.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 26 Jan 2010, 20:26, Reply)

is it the sort of friendship where you can say things like
'man the fuck up! go to haiti and dig some dead kids out of the rubble then come tell me you have insurmountable problems' ?

this info will make it easier to formulate a response.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Avoid mentals...
Seriously.

Life is to short and is difficult enough without having to deal with the bipolar or self indulgent wankers. If I had known this when I was in my 20s I could have avoided a lot of stress from psychotic girlfriends.

It is true that lunatics are a great fuck though.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:36, Reply)

They can provide one with lovely children, too.
Errr, apparently...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

True...and sympathies.
Lesson 1.

Avoid nutters.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I hope so.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:20, Reply)

If it's the girl you mentioned recently with a sprog
Give her a good fucking kicking and remind Her she no longer comes first, Jnr does.

If I have my wires crossed and you mentioned no such person then my apologies. Fuck her off though, sounds like lots of work for no reward.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:40, Reply)

off up the arse
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Yep
That's her.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I'm bipolar and so's my wife.
wife husband-to-be
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:17, Reply)

And in answer to your question:
if the meds work then the chances of trying again go way down. But that depends on getting the right combination of meds and that's trail and error. Also, can only speak for myself - when I've been suicidal I wasn't telling anyone about it. That doesn't mean she's just attention seeking though. There's obviously something wrong. Why is there no doubt in your mind that she didn't actually want to die?

Also, Burger King is much better than McDonalds or KFC.

Also, don't get psychiatric advice from the Internet.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I think you'll find that peer based psychotherapy
is a perfectly valid technique and should be utilised as much as possible along with mad plumbing sKillZ.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:29, Reply)

sshhh, have a little drink and calm down.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 13:47, Reply)

CHCB speaks the truth
Burger King is the best.



As for mad friends - I have one in particular - we've been friends since we were 11, so that's a long, long time. Every couple of years she falls out with me and everyone else she knows. She's tried killing herself the quick way with pills - fortunately she got some help and now remembers almost nothing of those few dark years. Now she's trying to kill herself slowly with drink. We're going through a sort of falling out period at the moment - I've done nothing to cause this - she manages to have fights with people all on her own.

I'll continue to do as I've always done - be here for her when she comes out of it again. Sadly though it is a draining friendship particularly as she refuses to see any course of treatment through - as soon as she feels better for a day or two she thinks she's over it. Many health problems - mental or physical - are often chronic - you're left with them for life and you need to work out the most effective way to deal with it and still live your life.

She hasn't but then she could just be a twat.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 15:08, Reply)