ARGH!
It's bastard snowing again! I'm sick of the sight of it! Add to that the fact I've completely now run out of sympathy for a friend of mine (fake suicide one), and I'm not in the best of moods.

However, one thing that is saving my sanity is that I've got a date later. I'm interested in how it will go, it's the first time I've actually wanted to go out with someone in nearly 5 years, the two since were just there at the time.

What is driving you insane? And what's stopping you from going postal?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:04, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

"NO, MOTHER, SNOW!"
I'm done with snow, please, please no more, I can't take it. No more I say!
*fingers crossed*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:04, Reply)

Pain is driving me insane.
Opiates are stopping me going postal. Except they are using words like "catheter" now so I'm thinking of legging it out the window.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Catheter will reduce the pain, but it'll be uncomfortable.
Haven't they broken them up yet?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:08, Reply)

No, because they now aren't sure if it's kidney stones or red degeneration of my fibroids
and I don't think they're allowed to do that blasty thing on pregnant women, mores the pity.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:11, Reply)

The second option doesn't sound nice.
What does it mean?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:12, Reply)

The babies trying to scratch it's way out.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:15, Reply)

They have fingernails at a young age
so it's possible.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

The baby competes with the big fibroids for blood supply.
Fibroids lose and start to disintegrate painfully. The term 'red degeneration' would make an awesome sci-fi or Russian Cold War movie.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Is that really what happens?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Aye, it can, though often it doesn't,
and the pain can trigger premature labour.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

You keep taking them druhgz babe

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

T-T-T-T-T-alking 'bout red degeneration

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I'm going to write that film
one day, oh yes, one day.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

ewwwwww
this is what you look like on the inside
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Uterine_fibroids.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

thanks for that
why the hell did i look at that while eating lunch.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:35, Reply)

What can I say?
I'm one sexy piece of skirt.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Where are you going on your date?
What do people think of going to see standup for a second date?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Depends if it's a good one or not
I think it's a good idea. As long as she has a sense of humour. If she's dull and depressing then no.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:08, Reply)

That's my thinking, unfortunatly the line up's not released until Friday.
I'll wait until then to decide.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:09, Reply)

it'll at least let you know if they have the same sense of humour as you
it sounds like a good sort of date to me, I hate dinner and a movie type dates
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Good idea

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:09, Reply)

We're going to a nice local pub
I won't say which, or Spike might make an appearance, and I don't want to scare the girl!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Sorry mate
I'm out with my dad tonight so you're safe :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:26, Reply)

You could show her piston_broke's video and bond over that.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I've never got through more than 8 seconds of that.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I watched the whole thing.
It got worse.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

I had to shut my eyes and think of your norks to get through it.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

My norks have missed you and your attentions, Al.

( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

How could you get past the Awooga?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:19, Reply)

I am psychotic.

( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Oh no you didn't just make a joke about mentals did you? THATS NOT FUNNY!!!! UNNMMMGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!
UUUUNNNNGGGHHHMMMMMHHHHHHMHHHMMMHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

NEITHER ARE JOKES ABOUT DEAD ZOMBIE MOTHERS GOING BOWLING.

( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:26, Reply)

That's true
Especially when I remember that your brother is standing less than ten feet from me and is a lot bigger than me.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Lucky for you he is a b3tan...
although admittedly that doesn't stop some of the twats around here forgetting that this isn't fluffyandfuckingnice.com or perhaps onlyfunnywhenitisntaboutme.co.uk

Besides, Mum would have enjoyed your thoughtful and considered impression of her bowling in a zombie-like manner.
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

he says awooga?
yet another reason not to even try watching it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Is it still availible in good Video shops and internet places?`

I've never seen it and feel like part of my life has been unfufilled
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:20, Reply)

WARNING DONT WATCH THIS
www.jamescartercomedy.com/
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Dear god.
I've never seen that before. I had to turn off a 1.24.

Is he a geography teacher?

Even I could do better than that and no one ever laughs at my jokes.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

That was piston broke.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:42, Reply)

I know it's PB
But he reminds me of a geography teacher who's trying to hard to be down wid da kidz.

Taking the notes up on stage is a real no-no.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:44, Reply)

stockholm syndrome
that is all
( djtrialprice, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I'd stockholm your syndrome

(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:55, Reply)

What?
That makes no sense. It's a private joke between myself and Madam Poulet :P
( djtrialprice, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I do seem to remember though
that I was the only one laughing.


I did almost wet myself it was so funny. Even now I'm chuckling away at the thought of you with your Stockholm syndrome carried in a suitcase.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Take her and laugh uncontrollably at the jokes about rape and nudge her in the ribs
I guarantee there will be some, there always are these days
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Brilliant idea
Seeing as my BF doesn't do "dates" I'd be impressed with a bag of chips in the street! If she doesn't like it, tough!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:52, Reply)

it snowed 3 fucking feet over the weekend and is now snowing again, probably gotten another 6 inches overnight
it's fucking bullshit and makes me want to cry
*goes off to shovel...AGAIN*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:07, Reply)

While you're shovelling
sing a happy tune.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:08, Reply)

wow wow wow woooooooooooooow I've been really tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin babeh, tryin to hold back this feelin for soooooooooo looooong

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:11, Reply)

If I sung this I'd get so wet I'd melt the snow
but then it would freeze and my path would be all slippery.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:20, Reply)

then you'd better not sing it then, eh?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I tried to buy a snow shovel last thursday
the middle aged shop monkey at B&Q laughed at my request and asked "What do you want a snow shovel for, it's not going to snow again".

I guess that's why it said "Shop Assistant" on his name tag, not "Meterologist"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:11, Reply)

People in B&Q are either very clued up old boys
who probably hate working there as it's kind of demeaning for someone who could do your shitty DIY a million times better than you to hav to say "Aisle 4 for magnolia paint", or spotty useless twats who hate working there as they will never amount to anything.

The old boys are often good sources of information if you can't get in touch with your own dad.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:15, Reply)

They are shit at predicting weather patterns though

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Yeah
but they always seem to know what your mums been up to in the last week.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Well really...
*monacle falls into champagne flute*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

and acting in adverts

and being human beings
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I hope I can work at B&Q when i'm old
unless "Reaper" has been distorting the truth, it's a laugh a minute job
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:23, Reply)

e
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Oh you...
*slaps*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:25, Reply)

You should kill yourself

That'd show the fake suicide bitch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Explanation
She didn't fake suicide, someone trying to cause trouble with her messaged all her friends telling them she had.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:14, Reply)

you should kill him
then yourself
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:17, Reply)

See
Now you're talking
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Don't kill yourself
before I've had chance to ruin your blossoming romance!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:28, Reply)

It's bastard snowing here too
bastard snow.

EDIT It's not just snowing. It's a fucking blizzard.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Panic over
it's stopped now.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:40, Reply)

NO! Panic again!
It's started.

No. It's stopped.

Falling out of the sky again.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:45, Reply)

What's stopping me from going postal?
Wake Me Up When September Ends on repeat
( djtrialprice, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:54, Reply)

When September Ends

Before You Go-Go
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Before You Go-Go With A Happy Finish
( djtrialprice, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Before You Go-Go With a picture of Fat Al.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:02, Reply)

If you're so desperate to see Fat Al,
just start dieting.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Hee Hee :0)
Welcome to the club ;0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:16, Reply)

GAAAH!
YOU CUNT!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 22:13, Reply)