Offtopic is dying.
I was here at the start and I will be here till the bitter end.

How do you think we should celebrate it's short but productive life?
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:37, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's wrong with it?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:38, Reply)

It is pretty quiet in here
but I only just arrived, it can't die out just yet
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:38, Reply)

It's less busy and not as much fun as it used to be.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Does seem quiet today,
mind you, I'm sure people had this conversation a few months ago. I've always said this place doesn't have enough of a prominent position on the site to comfortably attract new meat.

But still, probably just the ebb and flow of the place.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Nah! it's been on a slow decline for a while now.
Still fun while it lasted.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I prefer it here to any other part. My browser opens up on OT

( Peej, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Oh yeah?
Well why don't you just marry it then?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Because I'm already married to another message board and don't want to be a bigamist
divorce is coming through soon though, bitch has been cheating on me with 4chan.
( Peej, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:21, Reply)

you should slag it about a bit
start seeing some other message boards, fool around before you settle down on one
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I don't know about celebrating it
but maybe you could do something to liven the place up a bit? Have you got any special skills?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I'm not a performing monkey.
I do have special skills but not ones that would work here.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:44, Reply)

not a +oral sex on a

You never know until you give it a try
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Pfft!
Done that on offtopic.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:48, Reply)

really?
I imagine the logistics of such an operation would be quite difficult
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Actually I was here at the start actually
Actually
Actually
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:43, Reply)

*acknowledges*

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:46, Reply)

It's quiet because of work
damn work, gets in the way of everything
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:47, Reply)

^ This.
Bloody work.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:58, Reply)

So was I, from what I remember
Wasn't it launched to cope with the amount of shit people used to stick on at the end of the qotws and make the main board easier to read?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Yeah it was
And to counter-act the random HSH threads that kept appearing in the middle of a QOTW.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:16, Reply)

There's a fair number of regulars who've gone
"Fuck me, I'd better do some work!" It's only us proper slackers left.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I blame the recession.
Nobody slacks off anymore. Too worried about their jobs.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I too posted a thread on the first page of OT
but yeah, it's crap now and dying a death. I blame BGB for whinging all the time. It's also a bit too cliquey.
( djtrialprice, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:52, Reply)

You're probably right about the whinging but I suspect people would have told me to go rather than bog off themselves.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:53, Reply)

can everybody please stop talking the place down?
I only just got here, and if it dies I'll have to go back to trying to muscle in on other people's half-arsed conversations on /talk
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Wha?
It has turned into a mini /talk of late.
Lots of bods wandered in without realizing this is a private area.
(Yes - you Darth and Bartleby!)
We should guide them back to the door - refer all non-serious threads back to /talk.
But should the end come let us not make it bitter.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Bartleby is ok.
He can call me a cunt anytime he wants.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:01, Reply)

And I'm sure he will.
He is no gentleman.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Its not a private area.
Its a public toilet.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Look, we're all snobs here if you don't mind.
So none of your potty mouth thank you.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Oh dear, BGB.
Have you been listening to My Chemical Romance again?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I'm flattered that you think I know who they are.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:03, Reply)

they are like
status quo with eyeliner
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I do know who they are, I'm just flattered that Wookie assumed I did.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:20, Reply)

See, you've gone all glass-half-full now,
Choosing to ignore that I've accused you of deliberately listening to them and focus on my assumption that you know who they are. Stop looking on the bright side and get your sandwich board back on.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I was here at the start
and take the prize for being disappointed with it on page one!!

Since then, I've always tried to keep on eye on it, chipping in now and then. My problem is that I try to post only when I've got something interesting to say or add, or if I need help from the lovely OT community.

So, keep going you lot, but remember: Che's keeping an eye on you.

xxxx

p.s. What was all that 'BOAT' stuff about?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I like the idea of you keeping an eye on me.
*opens curtains*
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Hang on....
...me binoculors have steamed up. Ah, that's handy, a box of tissues.

Ah. That's better.

MUCH better.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:09, Reply)

While we're on the subject...
can I pimp my suggestion for QOTW: Flirting.

Not that I've ever flirted or anything. But I'd be interested to read other people's stories.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Never flirted?
I beg to differ.
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:20, Reply)

*bats eyelashes*
*rubs nipples*
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I told the woman on reception with the massive boobs yesterday
that I had a big one for her, does that count.

FTR it was a parcel, my penis is tiny
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:21, Reply)

the internet
the only place men willingly admit to a small penis
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:27, Reply)

the internet women admit small penises too
they're all desperate, you see
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I never understood BOAT either
what was it?!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:22, Reply)

It was a random meme.

( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I'm on a boat, motherfucker

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Better late than never...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Haha!
That is my fatal flaw as well. Problem is I RARELY have anything worthwhile to say so stand meekly at the side of the room. By the way for the record I've been here from the start as well!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:48, Reply)

i wouldn't say it's dying
just a natural slow point - it goes in cycles.

Granted, for all the time I spend on here, I really don't post all that often - I'm sure there are plenty more like me.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:26, Reply)

*lurks*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Its not dying. Why do people always say its dying?!
Some of the regs are just busy at the mo, they’ll be back, they always come back…

‘We all float down here, you will too’
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:30, Reply)

aaargh
I was just discussing It with a friend of mine this morning. Stupid bloody headfuck of a book
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:31, Reply)

It’s a wicked book,
back in the days when Stephen King was scary… not now, he’s running low on ideas.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:32, Reply)

It's the only one of his I ever read
my mate is a massive fan, but I'll never have to suffer reading through the likes of his recent work
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Well if you ever feel the urge I would recommend reading
Carrie, The Shining (much freakier than the film) and Rose Madder (which is one of my fave books of all time).

Yes don't ever read Cell... I can never get that time back. :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:39, Reply)

suggestions noted
and disregarded

*goes back to spinning in circles wearing a helicopter hat and going 'wheeee!'*
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Crack on
banana head, crack on
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:46, Reply)

It's like a lamp
that's haunted and attcks people oooOOoooooHH
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Hehe
Whenever I hear about Stephen King I think of that Family Guy clip, it makes me chuckle.

I think Brian drives over Dean Koontz in a episode too doesn't he!? Hehe
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:51, Reply)

"are you Stephen King?"
'no, I'm Dean Koontz"

and then he reverses and drives over him again
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Hehe that's it
Aww poor Dean Koontz.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:54, Reply)

indeed
though the 'tache must be new (or an old source pic).

most of the books of his I have (and there are a lot) show him tacheless
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:58, Reply)

Pffffft
that's almost as bad as when I read one of Clive Barker's Books of Blood, I'd have been more scared if I'd been rubbing marshmallows on my cock and dancing in a bathtub full of gravy
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Whilst some of Clive Barker's stuff is genius,
there's a lot that's just an excuse for him to write about bumming ghosts/demons/werewolves/aliens/whatever. He like bumming A LOT.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:54, Reply)

thats just a regular Friday night for you is not?

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Nope
I can't afford that much gravy :C
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:00, Reply)

oh well - you could try a sink-full instead

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:01, Reply)

What an utterly preposterous suggestion
how am I supposed to dance in a sink?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:04, Reply)

like a midget would
or do the robot
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I'm going to get gravy all over my toothbrush

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Wha? no-one did the tap dancer line.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:22, Reply)

let's not forget it's Thursday
and some idiots will be pressing wearing out the F5 button in a little while waiting for a new question to appear
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:39, Reply)

That is also a very valid point

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I think we should all remember our
fleetin' b3tan bretheren

And ask ourselves *cheesy music* Where Are They Noooooow?

Stig - Alas one day whilst racing his ego infalted his head so much it exploded inside his helmet. Luckily he was only in a Noddy Car outside of Tescos so no one was injured although several children were slightly splattered.

Ed - On the run from his many wivesthe law Ed was last seen jumping into his jet plane and heading for the North Pole. In a last attempt to stop this man marrying inuits and causing more Havoc, Chuck Norris was sent after him. Chuck was last seen making a boat out of his own hair and a seal. Update to follow

Kaol - Several awray experiements deep in the welsh valleys led to a traggic explosion. After the dust settled a lone figure was seen stumbling out of the wreck. Kaol pulled himself up to assess the damage and was more than slightly miffed to discover he now has sheep hooves and as such can't type.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

whatever happened to Stig?
did he not get in some kind of 'fight' with someone on here and storm off in a hissy-fit?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:00, Reply)

I think
Rubberduck killed him. Which is why you don't see him any more either. No internet on death row
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:04, Reply)

fair enough
he was spotted on Google streetview recently near Loch Ness - then scandolously pixelated to "maintain his privacy"
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Don't forget Captain V,
who has been going into very slow anaphylactic shock since a prawn looked at him funny, and has now swelled up so much that he is unable to type even when CHCB lifts him up so he can reach the keyboard.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:10, Reply)

His whiskers always got in the way of the keys anyway
which is why he was unable to spell retard.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:11, Reply)

that would be me

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Al does hold the record
for driving the most amount of people away. You bastard
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:11, Reply)

You love it.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Didn't he have a go at someone at a bash too?
Clendrix was it?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:13, Reply)

Lusty called hima cunt
I sooooooooooo wish I had been there to see/hear it.

My friends list is like a check list of dropouts.

TheWeeWitch, Osok, Holy cremola foam batman, Lucy V, happlylittletuplip, chartcat, pooflake, ethelred
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:18, Reply)

^ mine too.
God I'm bored. So much to do and completely unable to get on with any of it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:20, Reply)

You get to see m,e in just over a week though
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:24, Reply)

This is true
along with a bunch of other weirdos from the internet. Did we learn nothing from last August?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I'm going to try remember your cool box as well

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I'd forgotten about that.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Damn I could have
snagged myself a free cool box there
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I need my eyes tested again
I just read that as "shagged myself a free cool box".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:39, Reply)

The logistics of shagging a
cool box....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:39, Reply)

They're frigid, for starters

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:46, Reply)

well colour me surprised

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:13, Reply)

up off
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:21, Reply)

With a lamb's hoof? No chance.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)

If you're depraved enough
you can achieve anything, dear boy.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:37, Reply)