I'm psychic.
I was walking into work this morning and a vision of my parents dogs playing in the office popped into my head and when I got inside, there was Benji.

And sometimes when the phone rings, I know that it's my sister or mum.

Ask Mystic Blousie what you want to know.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 8:55, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Will you get lucky this weekend?
Will I?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:00, Reply)

No to both questions.

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:04, Reply)

*Sigh*
Ah well. Nevermind, eh? There's always next week.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Hahah you Deacon, BGB...
It's not like you've successfully predicted anything that was unlikely to happen, is it?

In the same way, I predicted I was going to work today.

AND IT HAPPENED, EXACTLY AS I FORESAW IT!!!!

I love you dearly, but you aren't half a divvy sometimes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Oh yeah, well I predict I'm going to have a sore bottom on friday morning
HOW COULD I POSSIBLY KNOW THAT EH!? EH!? EH!?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Because DiT will be visiting you Thursday evening.

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:10, Reply)

DiT's not coming now, so your arse will be fine.
I can't stop thinking about chops and dry meat.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Are we going to let you do all the ordering?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Sure, why not?
'Fucking loads of meat please, little man' should cover it...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I very rarely get past the starters
apart from the Dry Meat of course, but it's usually just lots of chops and lots of seek kebabs. And some naans.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I insist that you take a cardboard cut out of me with you
and talk to it and feed it meat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:21, Reply)

We don't have cardboard that big.




or that smug.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:22, Reply)

I don't believe you
also, I'm not that big. turns out I weigh less than 13.5 stone now. this is some kind of record.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:24, Reply)

That's ridiculous
I weigh a stone more than you, and you're much taller than me.

I feel bad now.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:26, Reply)

You fat cunt.
Best just have some rice tomorrow, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Protein doesn't make you fat
so as long as I don't eat any bread or vegetables I'll be fine
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:29, Reply)

can't drink any booze either

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:34, Reply)

I don't subscribe to the whole "drinking makes you fat" theory

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I subscribe to the "not drinking so much makes you lose weight" theory
because that's the only thing I've really changed.

I stopped going to the gym too. that helped me lose weight
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I know
it doesn't seem right, I'm still not what you'd call thin and have reasonable muscles. I think my bones are wasting away.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:28, Reply)

Obligatory.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:52, Reply)

Always makes me think of

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:00, Reply)

I tend to opt for rotis over naans
simply because I don't want to waste valuable stomach space on bread.

I'm the same re loads of starters and dry meat being my ideal, but a few veg sides will be a good move too, the baby pumpkin is very good.

I think I might pop off for quick wank, actually.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Yes, but
Look at the accuracy of her first requested prediction. Uncanny I would say.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:08, Reply)

:(
I shan't warn you about the drug overdose your going to have then.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Monty's average weekend surely?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Tell him
but tell him just a bit too late, so that he gets all freaked out while on drugs and makes everything worse, and then when he carks it, he'll never know if it was his freaking out that led to his demise, or the drugs, and that'll really fuck with his head.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:12, Reply)

a tad harsh no?
you blighter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:17, Reply)

If you were on drugs
that would be really funny.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:18, Reply)

it's usually the case that funny things are much less funny when on drugs
and ordinary things are hilarious
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:20, Reply)

What could be more ordinary
than watching Monty dying from drugs?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:22, Reply)

not all ordinary things are hilarious when on drugs
I imagine that seeing someone else on drugs dying would harsh ones buzz somewhat
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I don't get freaked out on drugs.
Once only, in a career spanning 23 years.

I AM IRON MAAAAAAAANNNN.....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Wow! that is impressive.

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I always found that it was the people that freaked themselves out
not the drugs.

you've got to be in the right frame of mind to start with.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Timothy Leary's concept of 'set & setting'
is entirely correct. You have summarised it succinctly here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I'm infinitely more worried about a potential underdose.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:18, Reply)

that troubles me almost non-stop
watch the video?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Fraid not old chap
I got carried away with beef and green peppers in black bean sauce followed by a humungous reefer of 'amnesia' - then I went to bed, groaning from chili overload...

Tonight's the night.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I'll forgive you
because that sounds good.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:28, Reply)

I just ordered lots of filums
tell me which ones I ordered!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Please.
Not on a public forum.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Ok!
Alien fuck frenzy - in space no-one can hear you orgasm
Young girls go bad
Cindy loves cock
The tweenies - series 1-4
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Series 4 of the Tweenies
was fucking shit. I ain't never buying that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:27, Reply)

I had a dreadful night's sleep.
I didn't get to sleep until after 2am (Bigelf gig awesome, but coach delays NOT awesome). I had reeeeeally trippy dreams and nightmares, and then the cat scratching the door sounded like somebody coming up the stairs to get me.
I mean it really sounded like somebody coming up the stairs TO GET ME.
I was completely paralysed with fear.

I dreamt about violence, a virus, gypsies, protective bindhis, Tracey Emin, ballons, and electrical faults.

BGB, what does this mean?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:29, Reply)

I had a dream I had to follow an underwater cable
and it was pitch black so I had to hold onto the cable and swim along and there was a shark and I woke up and I was all scared and I needed a wee really badly, but, since I'm a man that meant I had a hard on so it was really difficult to have a pee. In the end I had to go and use the toilet.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:31, Reply)

What time was that?
I wonder if we were both scared and needing a pee at the same time.
I don't think I had a hard-on but I was to scared to move so maybe I did.
My fear incident was around 6.20am.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

It wasn't last night
it was the night before.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Oh.
Well can I just say I dreamt a bloke I know got his jaw completely broken by a bare-knuckle fighter.
I want it noted in case it's a premonition.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I'm glad the show was good.
I dreamt about Jimmy Page.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I thought about him at the gig

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Lay off the cheese sandwiches when taking a packed lunch to a gig.

( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Serioss

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I actually dreamt I was in an episode of Glee.
Very strange.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I wish I'd dreamt that :(

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Would you have been dancing with Mr Schuester?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Totally, Al
He was born the same year as me as well. I'm so impressed with myself for liking him.
I would feel safe with Mr Schue, but then we could also dance and sing together like berks. He would be my best friend and my darlin too.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Totally unrelated
but open up google and type in "My boyfriend" and look at the google suggested searches.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I like the "is a vampire t shirt" one best

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I found this
www.myboyfriendisatwat.com/
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Wooo my new hard drive has just arrived
so I can fix my laptop at the weekend.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Spodness abounds!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Very good.

RIGHT, I'M OFF TO DO SOME WORK.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Piss off!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Ah.
The "w" word.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Shouldn't that be.
Splodgenessabounds.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Yups!
I was trying to be funny :(
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I predict I shall be derided for being a wimp when it comes to spicyness tomorrow night.

( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I predict your norks will be the subject of everyones attention tomorrow.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Apart from Bloke's.
Meat will distract him.
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:55, Reply)

In his defence
he gets to play with your norks in real life, we only get to imagine them on the occasions that we see you, so it's hardly surprising.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:57, Reply)

:)

( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)

You take no notice

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:51, Reply)

That's right, sweetheart ;)

( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Tell them you like to taste your food
Not sit and sweat over it
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:03, Reply)

food erect phallus
not and then
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)

If you stick to the grilled stuff you'll be fine.
The hottest dishes are actually the veg sides - the tarka dal is fucking mental.

right, WORK. Must. Go.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:54, Reply)

*mans the fuck up in the name of MEAT*

( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:56, Reply)

B3tans are obsessed with meat.
I prefer potatoes.
But then my ancestors probably came over during the potato famine, so there might be a deep need.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 9:59, Reply)

how many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman?
none!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

You little fuckin...
Get here now for a slap!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:02, Reply)

That is the best joke ever
and CHCB told it to me and she's actually Irish so it can't be racist.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:04, Reply)

It's in my top three
along with 'The Noddy Holder Joke'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I don't know that one.
But I like the one about which cheese can you use to disguise a horse.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:08, Reply)

It's set in 1974: Noddy is shopping in a trendy boutique. He tries on a pair of gold lame loon pants, and is admiring them in the mirror when the assistant asks if he'd like to try on a silver shirt too, which he does, and that looks fantastic too.

The outfit's really taking shape. Then the assistant says "would sir like a kipper tie?"

"Not 'alf, I'm parched. Milk and two sugars, please"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:11, Reply)

That's brilliant

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Haha you daft twat!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Pray tell

(TheColonel, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Mascapone

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:19, Reply)

fucking genius

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I don't care whether it's racist or not
Lack of potatoes is very sad.
I would die without them.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Oh Mystic Blouse
What will I be doing this weekend?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Feb 2010, 10:46, Reply)