I know this is pathetic...
I just got totally and utterly unceremoniously dumped. I'm terribly sad. Please tell me tales of getting over heartbreak.
(skrinklelada, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:35, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I find that getting stoned solves most problems
in the short term at least.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:37, Reply)

I reckon it's easier when you're angry.
You should probably cut a bitch.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:38, Reply)

i just find another one to move on to
ive been dumped by text, phone, email, gaz and this is my personal favourite... just left to work it out for myself.

find yourself another fucker to swap sauce with STAT.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:39, Reply)

there you have it
a fine cross section of solutions

Drugs
Violence
Rebound sex
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:40, Reply)

that's how every problem in the world ever has been solved

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:45, Reply)

make a rude picture of him/her
and make it number one for a google search on their name. It's very satisfying
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Just re-visit my past posts on off-topic for the last year.
But I'm happy now : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Same thing happened to me a couple months back
My pal dragged me out of my house (whilst aslo bringing along two giant sombreros) and we went on a bender round Soho for forty eight hours. It did cheer me up. Go out with a pal or at least get one round and talk to them.

Before the above happened I didn't leave my room for eight days. I went slightly bloody insane during that time. Not advised.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:45, Reply)

MTFU
/standard response
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 19:46, Reply)

So loving Tightly, so loving

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 20:00, Reply)

Not quite the same, but
Crushing rejection, followed by another 10 weeks of working together in close quarters. Now that's how you help resolve issues, that is.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 20:01, Reply)

christ. i bet that was a laugh

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 20:11, Reply)

Well, you're not correct
The only solution was to mess about and try to make things humorous instead.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 20:12, Reply)

What you need is an absolutely
filthy paramour who will plumb the depths of sexaual depravity with you in a bid to rid your thoughts of your ex.

With any luck a night of truly bestial loving will perk you up. Failing that, just get skull fuckingly drunk.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 20:14, Reply)

As other wiser heads have said
Getting so drunk you can't tell if it's day or night is about your only option. All other suggestions- sex, drugs etc will inevitably follow forth from that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 20:36, Reply)

If you are going to do that
For the love of god, hide your simcard!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 23:35, Reply)

Hate solves everything
Go buy yourself a copy of The Chronic 2000 by Dr Dre and whatever other misogynistic rap music you can find and really get your hate on - it is the only way!

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 22:36, Reply)

He should totally get the beat down on some ho's
the apostrophe isn't really accurate, but writing hos just looks ridiculous.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 23:13, Reply)

You love the hos you fucking tart.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 2 Mar 2010, 23:53, Reply)

ha!
Then get yourself down your nearest grotty strip club and stare intently. Women are only flesh and bone, my friend, not angels. As a cheaper solution, watch lots of porn. www.pornhub.com has an endless supply of free fwapping material.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 8:03, Reply)

Have a * hug *
/standard response
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 23:35, Reply)

Time to get out the bush buzzer/sock

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 2 Mar 2010, 23:38, Reply)

Well
Try listening to the Smiths back catalouge on repeat and drinking exsessively. That always works. You'll come out a stronger, happier, more confident person. Possibly.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Last time I got dumped
I found it helped to cry every night for a month or two. Hope that helps for you too buddy.
( djtrialprice, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Weird
But Billy Bragg on random loop helped me.
(Baile_Atha_Cliath is new to this b3ta nonsense, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 0:52, Reply)

"it's called a break up because it's broken"
or "he's just not that into you". the only self-help books i have ever read, or will ever read.

they might not tell you anything new, but they WILL make you laugh about it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 0:54, Reply)

I watched the film recently of 'He's not that into you'
and it was funny. Nice to see women having a sense of humour about relationships.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 8:00, Reply)

Jesus Christ, you need a sense of humour to have one.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 8:30, Reply)

true!

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Last time I got dumped
I was devastated. I became a total stupid fucking emo about it and moped around a lot. This for some strange reason made me more attractive to the hotties and in the year following I had a lot of one night stands that always made me feel worse in the morning and I had to tell the girl I wasn't interested, which made me a total prick.

It wasn't until I was happy being single that I actually met someone I really liked.
( Peej, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Has anyone else noticed
how easy it is to misread "moped" and see it not as the past tense of "mope," but as the noun describing a small, motorised bicycle?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Not until now
but forever more I shall.
( Peej, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:06, Reply)

This is pretty much exactly what happened to me last time. I was finally happy being single then my now ex came along. It's kinda depressing starting all that all over again.
(skrinklelada, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)