I'm currently making
an Xmas pudding. How festive have you been today?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:39, 79 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Not at all, I own a calendar.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:41, Reply)

christmas pudding is best if it has been made a long while in advance

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:43, Reply)

It's still shit though isn't it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I like it
which is odd because I'm not normally a fan of fruit cake type stuff.

my mum tends to make them a year in advance, and they end up really dark and rich and delicious (although occasionally mouldy)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:46, Reply)

*nods head*
Yes, yes it is!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Correct, online.
Reward yourself with a biscuit.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I'm waaaaaaay ahead of you sir!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:52, Reply)

We don't have biscuits here.
Which is pretty gay.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Awww that is gay
My department at work has our own little sideboard which we fill with Haribo and biscuits. Todays delights include Jaffa Cakes and Cadburys Crunchie biscuits which are da bomb diggity!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Why you are not the size of a house is a mystery to me.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:58, Reply)

One day it'll happen
One day I'm going to burst in mid-conversation... until that day I'm going to continue to consume sweets and crisps and chocolate... although I am going on holiday in June, so a few weeks before that I'll stop eating so much so I look better in a bikini... then I'll continue to binge when I get home! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:02, Reply)

Have you seen Alien?
Your description is disturbing when given that tint.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Hehe I have.
I’m probably going to be enjoying a meal out and then all of a sudden my stomach will start moving and a giant Smartie monster will burst forth and devour the patrons of the restaurant.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Well, at least a smartie monster will be pretty.
When the abdomen pains start, move somewhere full of cretins. I suggest Primark in Kilburn ^_^
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Noted about Primark.
I may decide on Oxford Circus though, I’m bound to only run into cretins there.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:10, Reply)

I'm sure there's some physical law
dictating that the faster you would walk normally, the slower the cretin you get stuck behind when trying to traverse Oxford Circus.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I believe you are correct,
I believe it is Sods Law, I am usually stuck behind tourists taking pictures of drains, lampposts and Topshop.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Years ago
I did have a strange moment where, in a moment of zen something-or-other, I managed to weave between all the cretins and was able to hoof it from Marble Arch to Tottenham Court Road in just over half an hour. I think it was possibly bought on by an excess of coffee that morning but I've never been able to repeat this feat.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:21, Reply)

My mum can do it
But she has some gift. I have to go for the shoulders-back-evil-glare approach to get through there quickly.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Hehe impressive stuff.
Although if you had consumed a vast amount of coffee you may have been levitating above everyone… that could explain it!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:23, Reply)

I suppose it's one possible explanation
And certainly something to consider for next time I'm forced to head up that way.

Or I could just refuse to return to Oxford Street until such time as I have mastered levitation.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Because
Some ickle people eat tonnes, and still stay the same.
There are also house-people who could starve and stay as houses.

^_^
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I know.
Guess which one I am.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:05, Reply)

You're in the middle, like me!
:P
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:07, Reply)

I hate you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:59, Reply)

Aww that’s sad,
I think you’re nice.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Ok, I don't hate you anymore.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Yippee!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Chunks of last year's cake looks a bit lonely in the fridge at the moment.
I don't start making the stuff until July.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I'm in bed cursing that moment yesterday I decided to eat the Boursin in the fridge
However, I am looking forward to the weekend where there will be a F1-party with some of my friends at my flat. Whee!

(F1 is festive, right?)
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:41, Reply)

There isn't room
in my fridge to eat anything really.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:44, Reply)

officelols

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Oops
We can either conclude that an earlier piece of food caused visions and I thought I could eat inside my fridge.

Or

I made an error in my phrasing.

I prefer the former.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Xmas pudding?
Might I ask why?


I haven't been festive at all recently because it's NOT FUCKING CHRISTMAS.

Infact, I'm seriously trying to encourage summer to bring it on A.S.A.P.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:42, Reply)

Because
I make them now, then put them away to mature, digging them out every 3 weeks or so to feed it some more brandy.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Fair play
That is what you call being prepared. I'm just too much of a leave it til the last minute kinda guy for any of that.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

If I don't cook stuff
I can't justify spending a small fucking fortune on a big double range cooker.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:01, Reply)

sounds like a lot of fuss and brandy
i prefer the method of waiting till the last minute then grabbing one that some industrious sous-chef in the marfks and spencers christmas pud department has been nurturing and feeding brandy and storing, and devote that pudding-making time to frenzied and barbaric onanism. which is kinda festive since my cock looks like rudolf's nose, and my bedroom wall looks like it's been fake snowed.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

My thoughts precisely
Are you reading my mind?
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:52, Reply)

i am indeed
incidentally on page 36 midget should be capitalised, and there is too many 'l's in flagellation.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:55, Reply)

You fiend
I was swigging Cola, snorted and it fizzed up and squirted out in a fine mist in all directions.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:53, Reply)

oops
that shit'll rot your septum, just look at that loathsome westbrook creature.
although it did her a favour in that it finally gave her a hole i might consider fucking, albeit mainly for curio value... so good luck with it.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

when you say curio
do you mean small ornaments and such that your gran probably kept on the mantlepiece?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:58, Reply)

yes.
i put it to you that the hole where her septum was, is of a similar fiscal remunearation value to a small pottery owl with a missing eye.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:05, Reply)

teatime lols

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 20:20, Reply)

I hate christmas pudding and mince tarts.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Don't lie
you love all tarts.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

hate christmas pudding am nd e ing s
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Bloody hell that was hard work.
I meant mince pies. I do love a tart. I think it's because I watched Alice in Wonderland at the weekend and have tart stuck in my brain.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

The new Tim Burton movie?
If so, was it any good?

As to good sweet things, go to any coffe house in Vienna and they have the most amazing pastries. I woudl be the size of a large house if I lived there.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:16, Reply)

It was ok and I liked the added story of the Jabberwocky mixed up with it.
Plus I'd never been to a 3D film before.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Mince Tart?
Is this the soft southern version of the good old mince "Pie"?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I thought
If it had a lid it was a pie, and if it didn't it was a tart.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I just don't get the appeal
of a cake that is supposed to get better the staler it gets.

Plus fruit cake is rubbish. Slightly better than madeira cake but nowhere near as good as victoria sponge.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

they are meant to be kept sealed
and so remain moist. you also steam it for fucking ages to cook them.

if they are stale then they are done wrong.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Victoria Sponge
Is possibly the most boring cake I could imagine. but I think I'm biased by the poorly-filled ones I've eaten in the past.

That and I'm a chocoholic.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:50, Reply)

You can't beat a good Victoria Sponge with jam and cream.
I'm just a cheesecake fanatic.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:51, Reply)

Now cheesecake is one thing I can get down with.
Favourite variety?

I like blackcurrant.
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:54, Reply)

Just plain New York cheesecake is my favorite.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

The New York is my favourite too
the best one I ever had was made in the Amish village in Georgia. It was so nom. But failing that, Sainsbury's do a good version.

Although I can't say it without having to drag out the vowels like that sodding Alicia Keys song.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:01, Reply)

That toffee one
from Asda for a quid is good.

Or alternatively, make your own.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:57, Reply)

tropical fruit
passionfruit makes cheesecake sexy.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:00, Reply)

Tasty
I'm of the chocolate mousse cake lot. Very rich, very eggy, very chocolately, no flour just ground almonds.

Although I'm a massive sucker for dairy products though, especially whipped cream in sponge cake...
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:56, Reply)

It doesn't get stale
because one tops it up with brandy.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I got sent a sticker that says 'if it wasn't meant to be eaten why does it look like a taco?'
*dons sombrero*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I'd like to send a similar one to the Chinese restaurant I was in the other weekend
Albeit more along the lines of "If it wasn't meant to be eaten and you in fact wanted it back, why did you make it look and smell so much like it had been carved from some sort of vegetable?"

It's not every day I end up eating a lump of wax.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:08, Reply)

In China
I accidentally ate a chunk of water snake thinking it was some kind of aubergine. It wasn't pleasant.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Was the snake supposed to have been edible?
Or did you just mistake it for an aubergine lying in a pond, pick it up and take a bite out of it?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:15, Reply)

to be honest
I was swimming with my mouth open
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:26, Reply)

*shudders*
Horrors beyond imagining.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:30, Reply)

*bawks*
I don't know what Christmas pudding tastes like.
It looks like it tastes of soil.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Do you know what soil tastes like?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I do. Yes.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Well, christmas pudding doesn't taste like that.
(I'm not being very helpful here, am I?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:50, Reply)

Does it taste like fruitcake?
EDIT, you kow what soil tastes like too?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I've ended up with a mouthful in the past.
It's usually accompanied with a pain in whichever knee or elbow I land on first. Christmas pudding also does not cause that pain.

Pudding is different to fruitcake...more like a big crumbly raisin soaked in alcohol. Good puddings shouldn't be cakey, but dense, dark, moist and yet still crumbly. And the taste is probably best described as dark and fruity with hints of brandy. Many people don't like it when they first try it. I'll have to see if I can bring one of my mother's efforts to one of these virtual cake exchange threads.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I don't like raisins
Imagine a giant drunken one!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:02, Reply)

You don't like raisins, you're indifferent towards tea and coffee...
Oh well, all the more for me.

I wonder if I can crowbar christmas pudding into my daily routine alongside cups of tea and coffee?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Maybe it's me who's odd.
My family just don't do those things.
The extended family do.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 16:07, Reply)