Good morning
Today I am playing dress-up. I am wearing my bestest suit. It is grey, kind of Prince of Wales check. It is business-like yet slinky. I reckon this will make me be very hardworking and efficient and might stop me sneaking onto OT all day like a scouse schlepper.

How are you people motivating yourselves today?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:04, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wouldn't know a Prince of Wales check
from a health check, but I'm sure you look very professional.

I'm motivating myself by imagining how good it will be once I'm finished work and able to go home and enjoy myself. The 'light at the end of the tunnel' technique.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:17, Reply)

I have my first go at learning saxophone tonight
But it seems so far away right now.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:22, Reply)

Saxophone is pure awesome
Good luck
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:23, Reply)

Yeah I've wanted to learn since I was a kid
So I'm going to have a little go tonight and see if I reckon it's worth bothering with.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Even if you're crap at first attempt
(and you very likely will struggle to get anything resembling a single note on the first night), don't give up. Learning a musical instrument requires a huge effort, but is very rewarding.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:30, Reply)

^This
And you can then have a fall back career as a busker.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:33, Reply)

I want to join Spandau Ballet

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Very
True
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:38, Reply)

u x
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:38, Reply)

You will have to get a Roota Zoota suit

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:31, Reply)

Good!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Saxophone, eh?
You need to be in the mood for that!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:23, Reply)

Ker-Ching

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:24, Reply)

I think you'll find it's pronounced 'sexophone.'
Joking aside, good luck; I tried to learn a few years ago and I now have a cheap alto sax sitting in a case just gathering dust. Though this is partly because I daren't toot the horn in the house - those things are louder than next door's tantrum-prone sprog...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I suppose a Prince of Wales check is organic or something.
I'm not very motivated Today, so I'd better MTFU and get down to work.

Morning all.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:22, Reply)

I got up with the sunlight
And I'm trying to get 1000 words of my essay done by lunch time. Gives me the afternoon to play!
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:31, Reply)

We won't interupt then.
What's the subject?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:34, Reply)

It's Atlantic History
A comparison of tolerance to free non-white society in French Caribbean, British Caribbean and American Southern attitudes.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Fuck me!
You'd better get down to it then.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Yes Sir!

(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Was that a response
to the first or second part of his comment?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:49, Reply)

My obedience to work
Not to engage with Bartleby. It wouldn't increase my word count AT ALL.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:01, Reply)

You might learn some new words if you went with me

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Move yo ass bitch!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:36, Reply)

*shakes*
I would rather dance than write!
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Good morrow, fair denizens of the hamlet of Internette
I am motivating myself by pretending to be medieval.

It's not fucking working.


*batters a serf to death anyway*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Got any leeches for this?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:36, Reply)

My gracious Lord
Wilt thou be claiming Droit de Seigneur this day?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:37, Reply)

Too fuckin' right mate

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:40, Reply)

I'll have one prepared
Will you need the otter?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:41, Reply)

Hopefullly not,
but do have one on standby just in case, there's a dear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Manneth the fucketh uppeth.

( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:39, Reply)

Hast thou a lisp, comely wench?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:41, Reply)

T'was caused by the Scold's Mask

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Less of the comely if you don't mind.

( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Buxom?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Oh I thought he meant fat.

( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:45, Reply)

He did
but in an old school rubanesque sort of way, not a council estate Cottage Chicken sort of way!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:47, Reply)

I do happen to be very Rubenesque.
But without the cellulite that you see on all his figures.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:49, Reply)

That's not cellulite
That's just where the paint's cracked with age!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:50, Reply)

Is 'haggard crone' preferable, then?
There's no accounting for taste...


'Comely' simply means attractive or pleasing on the eye, you fucking weirdos.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Now you're just being fac....facei.....facecious?
Arsy!
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I called my girlfriend a clawing harridan once
it didn't go down well...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:53, Reply)

She didn't object when I called her that.
Mind you, she was clawing at the inside of my car boot at the time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:56, Reply)

This is why I need to ditch the hatchback

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:58, Reply)

She's alright - you could do worse
I would let her catch you calling her that though mate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Do you think that gangsters take this into account when buying a car?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I think it's lower on the list of priorities
than spoilers, racing stripes, farcically low suspension, a thumping loud stereo and a pair of jeans that hang halfway down their buttocks.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I assume being scouse and in a suit that you are off to court today

so good luck!


I've been in work for an hour already, but I've organised my day and feel more on top of things!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:41, Reply)

No I'm going shoplifting
You attract less attention from security if you look respectable
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Cunning I like it!
Can you lift me shop razor blades and the new David Beckham aftershave?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:43, Reply)

And sports socks
Always sports socks
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:44, Reply)

The irony

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Wet, pissy weather does not motivate me to go out leafleting :(
Come on, March, do your stuff! Else it'll be all like April showers and I'll be like 'ugh' and that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:46, Reply)

I'll take a leaflet

does it have directions to a Chinese all you can eat at all?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:46, Reply)

I can doodle directions on the back if you like?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Perfect!
Is the rest of the leaflet about your business? How's it going?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Yup.
Dropped about 350 leaflets at the weekend before cursing my stupidity at wearing my old, clean boots which I haven't worn for four years instead of my mucky lovely Wonderboots which have done a hundred miles recently and hobbling home with shitty blisters. Calls so far: 0. There's plenty of time though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I think you need to be patient, your chances of hitting someones house

at the exact time that they need your services are slim, you can therefore only hop they hold onto your flyer and remember it when they do need you!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Indeed.
Patience is the only thing I can have! Trouble is, the way it's planned at the moment I need a batch of work to show to the bank so I can ask for a small loan. If I get one or two jobs now and none for another week or two, that plan goes out of the window haha as I won't have the gear to do the two jobs I've already got. It's a tricky one. Fortunately I'm managing to save money at the moment so even if it doesn't take off straight away I'll eventually hopefully have enough money to fund it, or something else, myself.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)

Remind us what service you are offering

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I know what service I wish he was offering.
*does dirty old woman face*
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Me-ow!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Window cleaning and lawn mowing.
Neither of which I'm equipped in the slightest to undertake at the moment! I'm starting to feel a bit out of my depth if I'm honest.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:10, Reply)

*lends scissors and jay-cloth*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)

A touch labour-intensive
but thankyou kindly.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:13, Reply)

Things should pick up at Easter
Now the weather is improving, them lawns are going to grow like, well, lawns.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:14, Reply)

I reckon that'll be my main income.
I'm starting to suspect that the market is somewhat saturated with window cleaners which is a shame as it's work I really enjoy doing and I'm bloody good at it. Give it a couple of years when daughter's finished her exams and I might move to somewhere with a gap in the market and try again.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:16, Reply)

The market is only saturated with crap tradesmen
If you make sure you are utterly reliable, then you should get on. I can't find one in Luton.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:21, Reply)

True.
I'd need to be reasonably established to be able to carry that off really. I need potential business to get a loan for the gear and without a reasonable threshold of that potential there's no point in me trying the bank. Fortunately I'm already in a job so if it doesn't pick-up straight away I'll be able to save and plug away at getting business over the coming months.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Good advice
I despair of window cleaners who turn up once and then you never see them again............
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I've never understood that.
Repeat business is your bread-and-butter. If there was a job I didn't particularly like I'd still go and do it and maybe increase the price a little to make up for it. If there was a job I couldn't do for any reason I'd give it to another cleaner.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Try knocking on a few doors as well.
Once they see you're a respectable young chap, then they may be more responsive to employing you.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I'm almost militantly against touting for business like that
but it might come to it. I noticed there's a surprising number of houses with those 'We do not buy at this door' signs - probably 20-25% of the houses I've dropped so far have them, and it bugs the shit out of me when people hassle me for business at my front door.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:20, Reply)

I guess you're right.
*puts thinking cap back on*
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I am setting up my replacement laptop this morning.
So I can do battle setting up the internet.....again, when I get home. Then I shall have a cup of coffee and only then will I do some work.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:47, Reply)

laughably
i'm singing to myself to stop the brain from chuntering, and dreaming of how I would spend a thunderball win, also to stop the brain from chuntering and brooding.

Going to the bank later to beg for a loan, my car is older and crankier than me so time for an upgrade I reckon
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Why not get a long term interest free credit card and save on the interest!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:56, Reply)

nah
I have done that before and I ended up being lazy and not paying it off as quickly as I should of and got battered with big interest after a year, it's easier (for me) to budget with a loan, plus i'll be clearing off the current credit card with what isn't spent on the car. The rest will be used to get a few wee housey things
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Fair enough!
What car do you fancy?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:01, Reply)

dunno
fancy a 2 seater or hatchback of some sort, maybe a hyundai coupe or a sporty clio / golf, tis only me and I have had the fiat cunto for 4 years now.

would love love love a Lotus Elise but can't afford the running costs
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)

What about a classic?
MG midget or MGB? Could give you the driving thrills you crave and a little extra style points as well!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:11, Reply)

hmm
again I think the running costs would nail me, I would think servicing and parts for those are going to be prohibitive.

Not sure you can get a set of golf clubs in an MGB either (sets off the sad old git sirens with that comment!)
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:14, Reply)

BGB? Could give you the driving thrills you crave and a little extra style points as well!
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:14, Reply)

style points mid-life crisis
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:15, Reply)

hahah
maybe, i'm getting around that age!
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I've been very good.
I have a good size automatic overdraft from the bank that I eventually paid off and have stopped thinking of it as my money.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Im getting better
used to be dreadful with money, but now the house is swallowing up a good chunk I am learning to budget a little more, still have the occasional bad month where I spend too much in the first week or so and have to be very tight for the reest of it.
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:11, Reply)

I did 20 minutes of Wii Fit this morning
but now I'm eating a cinnamon whirl so it evens out.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:02, Reply)

This is how my friend uses Wii Fit
"It says I've burnt the equivalent to a cake, so now I'm going to eat a cake."
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)

That's how Wii Fit works
it's like a savings account for calories.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Do you ever save up
So you can eat a whole cake or something?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Well I ate a whole apple crumble over 2 nights
so I had to do the 10 minute jogging session and the super hula hooping to try and make up for it. I don't think I managed it though because the instructor looked disapproving. Although I do walk 2.5 miles every day and burn countless calories dancing which he doesn't know about so he shouldn't be so judgemental.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Caffine

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Your a man of few words.
I only wish they were fewer.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:11, Reply)

you're

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)

If you're going to get like that
Then 'caffeine'.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Today's method of motivation is mostly based around
The fact that the thing is due tomorrow. It's the way I roll.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I'm not
It's a bit annoying.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:24, Reply)

omg facebook is down

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:38, Reply)

No it isn't

(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:39, Reply)

It pure total isn't kidda

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I take it you got home alright on sunday
and aren't suffering from minge rot
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I got home just fine
I still haven't got all the snacks out of my minge though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Leave them there in case you fancy a snack in the night
and can't be bothered to get out of bed.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)

You have all the best ideas
You should be my life coach. You've never steered me wrong yet.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:55, Reply)

This is true
I give excellent advice.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Being-correct fail

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Your account is temporarily unavailable due to site maintenance. It should be available again within a few hours. We apologise for the inconvenience.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)

HAHA
your account is so shit they have to maintain it. Everyone else's is fine
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Maybe it's something to do with my huntley related status update.......

(PsychoChomp, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:50, Reply)

No it isn't, it's working fine
Also, you could just do all your work for the day while it's down, then mess about more later. Or you could find more inflammatory stories on the Daily Mail site to post comments on.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Yo!
I have done some work, honest...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Clearly you've earned a break. You don't want to push yourself too hard this early in the morning.
(At least, that's my excuse)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Exactamundo

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)