b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 677973 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Why has nobody gazzed me today?
I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:42, 131 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Noone's gazzed me for months
*sobs*
*MTFUs*
*goes on killing spree in primary school*
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:46, Reply)
That's because you hang out on links/ now.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:47, Reply)
This is largely true.
They're very miserly gazzers over there.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:57, Reply)
Well come back unto the fold and your inbox will fill up in no time.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:59, Reply)
What, the former lead singer of Hermans Hermits has been in contact with you?
*Monty Boyces*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:59, Reply)
OH YEAH!!
Enyzme's stalker, earlier:

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:01, Reply)
I dislike hyphens.
I prefer to play dipthong roulette.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)
That sounds dangerous.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)
That rather depends on what it is into which you've dipped your thong.

(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)
Well, you haven't gazzed me
You have to learn to take the lead.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:50, Reply)
No!
The mountain must come to Mohammed.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:51, Reply)
Jeff must come to the...
Erm, I don't mean that.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:54, Reply)
*looks stern but sexy*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:59, Reply)
I'm sure your stern does look sexy

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:01, Reply)
You'll be keelhauled for that, I'll be bound.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:02, Reply)
There'll be no friggin in the riggin on my watch.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:03, Reply)
I'll be able to scrape the barnacles off
when I'm "down below".
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:09, Reply)
Oi!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:14, Reply)
I can't hear properly

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:59, Reply)
That's because your ears are full of minge.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:00, Reply)
This may be true

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:02, Reply)
The correct riposte was 'pardon?'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:10, Reply)
What?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:22, Reply)
3 weeks for me
MTFU
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:01, Reply)
Yes but you're not as popular as me.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:05, Reply)
He's decidedly unpopular in fact
Mainly because people are sick of hearing Green Day everywhere he goes.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:07, Reply)
Hate to break it to you
But you must have missed the memo on the fact that wasn't funny months ago.

Shirter.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:11, Reply)

wake me up when September en-ends

*wails*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:13, Reply)
I hate to do this, but this picture proves otherwise

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:18, Reply)
Fair play
That is a damn fine picture, which may appear on my profile sometime soon!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)
You're very good at this sort of thing, old boy

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:29, Reply)
*bows and waves*

(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)
He looks like he has one of those cones round his neck
Like dogs have to stop them scratching.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)
That's to stop him from self-harming.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:44, Reply)
I had a girl friend who could have done with one of them.
Mad as bag of frogs, and a ginger to boot.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)
you are sadly mistaken

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)
I think I just stopped finding it funny 5 years after I wrote it.
So now it just seems tedious. Like most things Al says really.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:20, Reply)
Al's not funny in the slightest
but you seem to be getting upset on the internet. so...
When did it stop being funny? April, May, June, when September ends?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:22, Reply)
Not upset
Bored.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:24, Reply)

not
bored
(Bazongaloid, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)
+ONLINE

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)
Much better
Now it's funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:28, Reply)
Christ, do people still send memos?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)
Only us young people

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:36, Reply)
Fucking hip and happening!

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:37, Reply)
Yep
*hand jives*
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:39, Reply)
*checks Telex*

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)
*checks pony express*

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:47, Reply)
*plays lute*

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)
Oi, its Sting everybody
Let's kill the bastard
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)
People gaz me all the time.
in fact I've got a couple to reply to now, brb.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:03, Reply)
lies on the internet

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)
I just replied to 2 gazes from girls
and ignored 1 gaz from a guy.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:36, Reply)
am i one of the girls?
*frothes at gash*
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)
I drank a bit too much booze last night
but thought at least I'd sleep well. this was not the case.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:11, Reply)
I also drank too much but my I-Phone sleep tracking App says I selpt rather well
Although I was dispatched to open the window in the middle of the night, I have no recollection of this.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:13, Reply)
ffs not another one.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:14, Reply)
Another what? I-Phone wanker

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:15, Reply)
I was at a party on friday and was in the kitchen making cocktails
with 3 people who were talking about that app
"honestly, I don't know how I could even survive without it"
iPhones make you weird.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:17, Reply)
That is weird I was just interest
as the misses always says she doesn't sleep and wakes all the time, but I disgreed and siad it was just that it felt that way. I was right.
No one would ever need it though, that is weird
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:18, Reply)
God I hate 'people'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)
they hate you too
without exception
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:44, Reply)
GOOD.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)
How can your phone know you slept rather well?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:15, Reply)
It uses the accelerometer to track your movements

more movement, lighter sleep I guess, then it graphs the night to show when you were in deep sleep, REM or awake.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:17, Reply)
So you have to have a phone strapped to some part of you body while you sleep?
Are you in hospital or something? Do you have a symbiotic relationship with a phone?

This depresses me greatly
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:27, Reply)
it doesn't it just measures how much you're moving about.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:17, Reply)
You know what I do instead?
When I wake up and feel really tired, I know I havn't slept very well - and when I wake up feeling rested, I know I've slept well!.

It's an amazing system - I call it the i'Mnotacunt. I don't know HOW I could even survive without it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)
I think I have found another use for this app
It could automatically call the undertaker if you don't move at all for a whole day. It would stop you getting all stinky so you could have an open casket funeral.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:36, Reply)
Haha.
Oh but Monty, you are a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:36, Reply)
Damn!
A flaw in my system!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)
I don't get gazzed much at all
I cry all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)
As a female ON THE INTERNET.
I feel I should be gazzed regularly and hard.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)
God bless Gaz
Whoever he is.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:31, Reply)
I don't know either
I've only ever had one.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)
Why thank you!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:33, Reply)
How's Gilbert?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:36, Reply)
Where's Gilbert
he was great. Can you imagine todays TV execs agreeing to a childrens icon that was slimy and oozed snot?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:37, Reply)
Nowadays they assume children are completely retarded
so programmes are formatted accordingly, and now all our children are completely retarded.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:38, Reply)
I was going to say,
they fucking are. Apart from mine, obv.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:43, Reply)
I'm not just blaming tv.
People are retarded cunts who have suddenly decided that twizzlers and CBeebies will give their kids all they need, but when you think back to the complexity of the programmes we watched, and the underlying assumption that we could cope with it, well I could weep. And I do.

And yes, I'm sure your bab is not part of this new 'breed'.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)
Children are smarter than they've ever been.
This is a fact.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)
In what way though?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:52, Reply)
In WHICH way, you mean?
*despairs for future generations*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:59, Reply)
Haha!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:00, Reply)
I don't mean 'in which way'
I mean 'in what way'.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)
But not as innocent.
Which is a shame.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)
Everything has to adhere to "Core Values"
give the little sods "Tom & Jerry", "Tex Avery" and "Bagpuss". The best childrens programs were all slightly dark and/or subversive. Not "The Moomins" though, that went too far!
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)
^ All of this
Although even the Moomins makes me feel warm now.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)
I dunno, The Moomins was some disturbing shit

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:48, Reply)
Beautifully so.
I'd like to personally thank ITV for inflicting it upon us and not shitting themselves about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:50, Reply)
I wasn't allowed to watch ITV when I was little

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:51, Reply)
My tiny childhood viewing was ITV
Moomins, Danger Mouse, Rainbow, Jamie & the Magic Torch, Cockleshell Bay etc.
But then as I got older it was all about the BBC. I fell in love with it. There was no restriction though. I just thought Childrens Ward was wank. I am one of those people who is more than happy to pay my license fee though.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)
Children's drama is shit, fact

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:56, Reply)
Grange Hill was not shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)
Yes it was, it was full of poisonous little oiks

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)
Go shove it up yer jizzle

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:02, Reply)
The Box of Delights was good.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)
That ruled

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)
I used to wank to Children's Ward too!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)
Hmmm Lukemegasm

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)
Dirt. Tim Vincent?
In defence of ITV, Behind the Bikesheds was ace.
It was shit like, looking back.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)
So which Moomin do you identify with?
or were you the snork maiden?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)
As if you had to ask.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)
I was NOT that snipe-nosed little cunt!!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:57, Reply)
You do have issues about this, don't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)
Shuttup!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:59, Reply)
Calm down dear
SNORKY...

Haha.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)
Watchit

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:04, Reply)
I didn't say you were!

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:59, Reply)
I felt you implied it :(

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:59, Reply)
I could just as easily have been implying
that you are fair and Moominmaidenesque. Don't blame your insecurities on me, toots!
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:03, Reply)
hahah, oh good lord
*used spoon to tunnel out*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:04, Reply)

S
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:02, Reply)
'I like this'

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:04, Reply)
I expect that back in the day, childrens TV wasnt taken seriously
so they bought up any old thing going cheap without checking it out (including some wacky forign stuff). Did you know that "The Magic Roundabout" was made in France? The BBC (or whoever) bought it and made up new dialogue to match what was going on.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)
and did YOU know
that the person who did this for the BBC was grating luvvie Emma Thompson's father?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:58, Reply)
I did not
bravo sir, you have out-trivia'd me
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:05, Reply)
If an item of information
is of absolutely no use to anyone whatsoever, chances are I know it, and it's taking up the space in my brain that might otherwise have been used to hold, say, 'how to drive', or 'money management'....
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I am still using this excuse to this day
Four, possibly five failed driving tests and counting, but I've probably got all the lyrics to Tommy floating around in some part of my brain that would have been really useful when I was trying to pull out into that roundabout...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)
I don't swap gazzes with other people
I don't want to catch AIDS or dyslexia, or that other one.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)
Dyslexiaids.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:38, Reply)
I bet that has been developed in a secret government lab
by top scientists using DNA-SpunK technology
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)
I haven't had one in about three weeks
Bollocks, does this mean I'm only just as popular as AA?

Although I do know that one person is chickening out of gazzing me because he knows he owes me money.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)
And now nobody's even replying to your posts!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:14, Reply)
Shit...

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:14, Reply)
*feels loved*
I AM BELOVED. YAYS.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)
I don't know the difference between loved and beloved
But I know there is one.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Google's "define" tag returns nothing of use
I shall simply assume I am both.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)
You go right ahead

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)
*goes right ahead*
*crashes into a ditch*
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1