OK
this is how it is. I split up with my partner of 20 years in July last year and since September have been seeing someone who has turned out not to be what he was cracked up to be. Not a rebound thing as the previous one had been over for some considerable time but circumstances dictated otherwise - for both of us. Question is this: How do I get over the heartbreak of thinking something was so right and it all going horribly wrong and rebuild my confidence. I really don't need telling to MTFU as that is what I have done but it doesn't stop the pain. Nice answers only please. Failing that,what did you have for supper. I had a jacket spud and Waitrose Lemon Sole Goujons, 3 pints of Tring Breweries Jack o Legs and am halfway through a bottle a red with tears running down my face wondering what the hell I did in a previous life to deserve this shit. Psychochomp don't risk it as I am feeling quite murderous.Be nice.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 21:58, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I wish I had a better answer for you than the trite "One day at a time"
but I don't so instead I'll answer your sub question, I had a very nice dinner of a lovely melt in the mouth rare steak with crème brûlée to follow as a mini celebration dinner with my Dad and his wife as I'm starting my new job tomorrow.

Now I'm off to trim the beard and iron a shirt for the morning before I crash out as I need to get up early tomorrow for the first time in ten months!
(bill, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:12, Reply)

"...as a mini celebration dinner with my Dad..."
made me feel all sniffly. I am clearly hormonal and should probably steer clear of foolishly attempting to help Doris.
Good luck for tomorrow, you.
( thealternativefact, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:18, Reply)

no!!
bring it on - you are a woman of obvious good sense and I will bow to your knowledge of such matters. I'm only 40 and have had a fairly unsheltered existence. Never had my heart broken like this though.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:28, Reply)

I am?
Good lord - you really are in a bad way.
I'm not lucky enough to have loved anyone enough for me to end up with a broken heart.
I like Becky's advice to just go with it for now - react how you want, do what you want. Don't worry too much about what happens after that.
( thealternativefact, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:43, Reply)

Cheers honey
I think it's just the going from 5 to 7 nights alone that scares me.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:52, Reply)

You don't have to be alone.
I'm single but I make sure I have at least two afternoons or evenings a week where a friend and I meet up. I have to force myself to do it else I just get lazy, but it really helps keep you fresh.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:59, Reply)

This is a good plan
I've been doing this as well.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:04, Reply)

*high-fives*
King of the Hill, and bed.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:06, Reply)

good advice
but I really like to have someone to tslk to whilst I'm doing jobs around the house else they just don't get done!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:25, Reply)

Put some music on and shake your booty while you chore.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 6:10, Reply)

Don't listen to the mad curly haired lady!
Any words of encouragement and the next thing you know she'll be inviting herself to stay and baking things for you.

Oh, hang on... no, carry on!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:45, Reply)

hey
I could live with that!!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:52, Reply)

Technically
We invited her to stay, but the rest is all true.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:53, Reply)

But her cinnamon spirally things made it all worthwhile

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:55, Reply)

:)

( thealternativefact, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:56, Reply)

*flex*
:D
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:56, Reply)

*Washes dishes*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:57, Reply)

Oh you two...
carry on.
( thealternativefact, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:59, Reply)

When should I expect her?

(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:59, Reply)

When you least expect it!
There should be a Clendrix lamp you could shine into the sky when you're sad and she would turn up with confectionary and filthy humour.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:03, Reply)

Ooh!
I must sort out a funky cape and boots.
( thealternativefact, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:06, Reply)

That would be more mint
than a million minty things.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:08, Reply)

bill - good luck
with the new job x
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:26, Reply)

Rib roast,
roast potatoes, parsnip etc. Glass of a nice Bordeaux. Delicious.

Sorry to hear about your trouble, have no wise words though maybe be glad that you found out in a relatively short time that it wasn't going to work. Good words also - don't drink it away. It doesn't work and the pain will be exacebated by a hangover
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:17, Reply)

thanks all
am trolling through posts and even been onto main board to look at pictures! and endless bejewelled blitz to numb the brain. xx
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:24, Reply)

Beat your chest whilst screaming "I'M A SEXY WILDMAN*!" whilst looking at pictures of pugs
or have a rolfawank which is a wank whilst making Rolf Harris colouring in noises a pom pom pom un shicka hun hun sadlyhedidn'tmakeitthroughtheniiiiight rom pom pom

*I know you're a women but it adds to the fun
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:25, Reply)

This is flat out wonderful.

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:29, Reply)

sometimes when I'm feeling sad I spit on my palm and high five myself in the face whilst saying the alphabet in my best Elma Thud voice
Then I french my dog. We both pop broom-ons and then take it in turns to turbo mince around the coffee table whilst clapping.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:33, Reply)

Nothing wrong with a bit of pug love

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Pervert.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:35, Reply)

P P P P P P PUUUUGLURVE!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:36, Reply)

And you.
Coming over here, shagging our dogs and then kicking them 'til they sick rainbows
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:37, Reply)

A dog once kicked me and I sicked a rainbow.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:38, Reply)

This I can believe somehow.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:40, Reply)

This has gone very surreal
I like it
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:39, Reply)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:39, Reply)

Needs moar rainbows.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:41, Reply)

He brought his own sheep in with him to cuddle. He was very sweet :)

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:42, Reply)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:49, Reply)

You defiled the pretty puggle
This makes me sad
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:51, Reply)

awesome

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:51, Reply)

HURNY A BLORT BLORT

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:55, Reply)

BUS WANKER

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:56, Reply)

MY BRAIN HURTS

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:57, Reply)

night all, I'm going to punch my grandad in the chest.
he sounds like someone farted past a klaxon after I've done it, it's well funny.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:58, Reply)

Night Aces

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:02, Reply)

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D
aw he looks so :3
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:41, Reply)

QUICK, WHERE'S GONZ?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:42, Reply)

Nah, Gumsy is your man for Puggles, Gonz is just a whore for any kind of dog

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:44, Reply)

I'm rubbish at this.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:46, Reply)

but do you
wank furiously whilst reciting the Lords Prayer? you aren't really a man unless you do..... (no smiley, apparently not the done thing on here...)
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:35, Reply)

Some say I am barely a man to be honest.
half man, half women, half milking machine, half Terry's Chocolate Orange. Unless Dawn French has been around. then I'm just half man, half women, half milking machine.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:38, Reply)

Fuck it, I smiley.
:)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:40, Reply)

Someone, I'm not going to speculate who
started a Facebook fan group celebrating that very act today.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:41, Reply)

I got an invite
I haven't joined yet. Just in case it's a priest's grooming circle.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:44, Reply)

I've got some of my kid's mates on Facebook
so I'll not be joining.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:47, Reply)

Very wise.

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:51, Reply)

Link please
I wish to join this group.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Mobile
m.facebook.com/profile.php?ra52ead9d&id=113040698717773&refid=0
If that doesn't work just Facebook search for 'masturbating in public while crying and screaming the Lord's Prayer'.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 6:15, Reply)

:)
It had to be done.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 8:37, Reply)

I couldn't see who created it on mobile
but I'm quite impressed :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 8:38, Reply)

This is impressive, thanks
Made me thing about other b3ta memes as fb groups, strangely enough, NO ONE has yet made and "I like breasts" group.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

ISAGN
I see a great need
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)

DO IT.
And then send me the link.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I wont tell you to mtfu
I will however say do what you want to do now. So if that's buying a motorbike and becoming a leather clad lady or crying your eyes out in the eggs aisle of Tesco, then that's what you do.

Take care of yourself
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:26, Reply)

but
I can't afford size 16 leathers - they just don't make cows that big!
What i want to do is grab hold of the silly bugger and have him hold me tight for a while. None of this is helped by the fact that I drive like a loony and blew my car up last week!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:33, Reply)

Of course they do, think of all the plus sized Hells angels out there!

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:35, Reply)

A bit of flawless logic there

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:39, Reply)

exactly!!
that is why I don't!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:47, Reply)

Now now
Noone is suggesting you would look like a Hell's Angel if you were to don some.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:52, Reply)

No
I am not really HA material. i like to choose what I do for myself.oh sorry that could be the NCC.....
**changes identity and moves to south America*
joking of course - bikers are the best group of people
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:55, Reply)

And you're missing the hyoooooj beard!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:00, Reply)

oi!!
we don't mention the beard.......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:11, Reply)

I mentioned no beard!
*whistles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:15, Reply)

beards
nah - don't do it for me, sorry!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:26, Reply)

No advice really, as time is the healer
Which is trite bullshit I know.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:31, Reply)

no
all sound words, thanks x
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:33, Reply)

I told me ex a few days ago...
who is wonderful but moved away.

It'll take a special woman to match you, or shit loads of average ones.
Paraphrasing Bill Hicks.

Made me feel better and she laughed.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:36, Reply)

this is about all you can do
i spent quite some time moping about, listening to melancholy music and writing stuff I felt but would never tell anyone. Eventually the sun comes out and things get better. Honest.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:50, Reply)

Become BFF with BGB.
And wallow in your shared misery. She's really good at it and can give you some valuable pointers. Also BGB has been quite cheery of late so may be able to be of some use for a change instead of pining over Jeff.

Personally I'd mark it up to yet more experience and go get a new one.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:35, Reply)

yeah
but Jeff does nowt for me, but if anyone goes near my Colin there will be trouble I tell you, trouble!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:37, Reply)

If he's in a bad mood will you say "Oh, Mr Arsey!"
*Snigger*
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:38, Reply)

Colin....
Farrel? Dexter? Ginger one from The Fast Show?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:38, Reply)

Firth
you gimboids (whoops - just admitted my liking for Red Dwarf here...)
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:48, Reply)

He's had his head up his recharge socket.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:51, Reply)

I never thought of him.

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:53, Reply)

"if anyone goes near my Colin "
Is that a euphimism?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:38, Reply)

Oh fuck, I was at my writers group tonight
And some old woman was doing an Alan Bennett type Talking Heads piece.

Talking about her oven, she said, 'And me back ring has never been right since..' Cue me spraying beer over the table.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:42, Reply)

You've got to try and get 'back wheels' in somewhere!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:43, Reply)

I must write one
Consisting entirely of Profanisaurus entries.

'Blacksmith's Apron!'
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:46, Reply)

Oh, God!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:47, Reply)

That one's at the top of your stairs!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:53, Reply)

I know, you just reminded me!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:54, Reply)

That's given me a mental image of Alan Bennett
singing "Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Oh Em Gee, put on channel 4 now
but swallow any food you're eating. It's CATMAN
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:43, Reply)

I saw a trailer for this.
I think I'll pass, thanks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:44, Reply)

He's fucking terrifying

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:46, Reply)

*faints*
Christ, he's got a real boner for cats.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 22:46, Reply)

Can I just say
THANK YOU to all of you who have bothered to make me laugh tonight. You have kept me from calling him and making an even bigger arse of myself and so I am eternally grateful. Now does anyone have a car I can use for a bit coz the van I have borrowed really smells......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:20, Reply)

You're very welcome!
On behalf of everyone that seems to have fucked off.

But no, I don't drive. Soz!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:23, Reply)

cheers anyway
it has all helped for tonight - now there is just life to get through.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:27, Reply)

*Doffs hat*
Just doin' our job, ma'am.

*Rides off into sunset*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Apr 2010, 23:31, Reply)

I don't come on here in the evenings you're safe

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:05, Reply)

ha ha
I only did to stop myself going round there!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:00, Reply)