Officially the quietest Monday ever.
Everybody must be out enjoying Real Life, in the sunshine. Selfish bastards.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 3 May 2010, 16:49, 101 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yeh, sunshine. Right. Does the sun shine in real life?
But the rain is not too cold today. And I have made a start on painting the trellis.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 17:11, Reply)

sunshine?
wtf is that? it's been pissing down here since sometime yesterday afternoon.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 3 May 2010, 17:58, Reply)

I've been busy but not having fun.
Fun is for wimps.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:05, Reply)

Busy being miserable then?
My workplace is made from misery. The very fabric of the place has been stitched together by starving blind orphans with painful cancer.

On a lighter note, I saw a dead dog earlier.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:16, Reply)

V. mysterious - wotcha up to then?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 18:53, Reply)

Just stuff.
A bit of this and a bit of that.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:59, Reply)

But not fun? Sounds like my chores too.
Summer is coming. Holidays too!
And - 4 day week. Do you work have paid job?
You disappear from /OT for hours - as most of us do - so I guess you have interuptions to the real reason for 9 to 5.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 20:04, Reply)

Are you stalking me?
No-one stalked me for ages.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:08, Reply)

I wasn't, but I could if you like.
But what happened to your last stalker?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 20:12, Reply)

Lost interest.
I don't think he was really up to the job.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:13, Reply)

I could do Tuesday mornings, and Wednesdays and Fridays office hours only.
My Monday and Thursday job is usally too busy.
Bear in mind I'm getting on now so you'd have to slow down a bit.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 20:17, Reply)

I need someone who is prepared to have me at the centre of their world.
Sorry!
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:19, Reply)

I quite understand.
No less than you deserve.
Is your mum available?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 20:21, Reply)

Not till the beginning of August.
She's abroad at the moment.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:24, Reply)

Woo! Score!
What exactly are a stalker's duties?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 21:23, Reply)

It's 10am and
already 73 degrees. Lovely and sunny!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:21, Reply)

Evening all!
I've had an ace weekend. Much beer and ended a couple months drought.
All good!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:22, Reply)

Smooth work ya!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:36, Reply)

Thank you kindly
One of my best friends set us up. She reckoned we'd get on and she was right.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:38, Reply)

Cool.
I'm just starting to realise how few people I know in this town despite having lived here for thirty years. Everyone's moved on except for my best friend and a couple of others. I need to get some new people into my life.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:43, Reply)

Get yourself a hobby!
Best thing I did was joing a writer's group. Good wide variety of people.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:46, Reply)

Yup, stuff like that.
I'm going to do a five-session Introduction to Psychology course which is a start. There's apparently a singles club in town which is less focussed on finding dates and more on socialising so I might try that. I definitely need to get out more.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:53, Reply)

That sounds good
Once you get back out socialising the rest will follow!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:56, Reply)

Pfft!
I'm staying single. No-one deserves me.

Apart from Jeff obviously.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:01, Reply)

Maybe
we could hire you some kind of Jeff-o-gram!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:17, Reply)

I think it would push me right over the edge.

( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:18, Reply)

Want me to pop over to his house,
he lives nearby. I can stalk him on your behalf
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:23, Reply)

God yes!!!!!!!!!
Can you get me a pair of his underpants to put under my pillow?
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:26, Reply)

I'll do what I can.
Just bail me out of jail if necessary
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:32, Reply)

I got your back girlfriend.

( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:38, Reply)

Stop this madness -
you can have a pair of my old Y-fronts for free. (State preference for laundered/unlaundered.)
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 20:07, Reply)

You're such a hoor, Beekers.
:)
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 May 2010, 18:56, Reply)

I am not!
Not that much anyway.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:57, Reply)

Fair play to him.
My own drought is significantly longer than a couple of months. Any excuse to put it about it bit.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:00, Reply)

Exactly
Just taking an opportunity as it arose. As it were.
And she was very pretty too, and I'm going to see her again.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:03, Reply)

Not if I poke your eyes out first you won't.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 May 2010, 19:11, Reply)

Ah, of course.
I hope you don't though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:14, Reply)

Nah! what he needs is a monocle.

( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:15, Reply)

Not forgetting a moustache!

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:16, Reply)

:D

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:18, Reply)

If I had the monocle
There wouldn't have been any drought at all.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:16, Reply)

You'd get some right posh totty as well.

( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:17, Reply)

I'd be like Terry Thomas
Always fancied being a bounder!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:19, Reply)

Just got back from my first thesis meeting

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 May 2010, 18:58, Reply)

How'd you get on?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:00, Reply)

got some ideas now
about various questions which is good. Also bought myself a camera since I don't possess one. How you doing?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:03, Reply)

A bit meh
but I'll get over it. Watching multiple episodes of Eureka is helping.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:34, Reply)

the science program?
I bought myself some bad films to cheer meup. Always works
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:43, Reply)

A Town Called Eureka
American science drama. Good stuff, amusing too.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:51, Reply)

I've just started watching 'My name is Earl'.
It's funny.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:02, Reply)

keep meaning to see that
I bought myself 'The Picture of Dorian Grey,' and 'In the Loop' Plus I have the first season of Homicide: Life on the Killing Streets to watch, and some Supernatural online
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:17, Reply)

In the loop is hilarious.

( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:18, Reply)

but lacking in pretty boys
which are the main ingredient of cheering up films
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:20, Reply)

Earl is fucking excellent.
I watched two whole series in a week last year.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:49, Reply)

I might get the series on DVD to watch.
I haven't watched my Laurel and Hardy compilation DVD yet. I don't know where everyone finds the time.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:58, Reply)

just don't sleep
you get plenty of time then
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:05, Reply)

I didn't sleep for most of my twenties and early thirties.
I need to catch up.
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:07, Reply)

We've been watching 'Edge of Darkness' a BBC Cult Classic apparently.
Found it in a charity shop.
Classic be buggered. What a load of.

*Edit* my daughter mentioned at dinner that this had been made into a film. I just IMDB'd it and sho' nuff it has, with Mel Gibson and set in Massachusetts. Not seen it, wouldn't want - obviously it is a poor imitation of the excellent BBC Cult Classic, which I have now instantly re-appraised.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 21:21, Reply)

It wasn't written by Shaun Hutson, was it?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:39, Reply)

The BBC one was by Troy Somebody. Hang on a mo'
Hmm - Isee the 2010 film was directed by Martin Campbell who did some of the plotting on the 1985 series. Fascinating.

So in answer - I dunno.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 21:41, Reply)

shit son, right
I've been working all day and it's rather nice
I'd like to be with the babe frolicking
cunts with bank holidays and shit can fuck right off
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:21, Reply)

We have another one at the end of the month : )

( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:23, Reply)

Oh fuck yes!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:23, Reply)

We do too.
Memorial Day. The unofficial start of summer!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:24, Reply)

I hate you working people
Hate you all.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:26, Reply)

Take solice
That us students don't get anything relating to a bank holiday. I've spent all day writing about results produced by the morons in my group, and wondering how they can be oh so useless.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:23, Reply)

Take comfort yourself
in the fact that a fair number of people don't get paid if they don't work and for many normal people, bank holidays are just another day. I should have worked today but the since financial pressure is off a little I gave myself a day off.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:52, Reply)

For those of us who do work bank holidays, there is one huge bonus:
no congestion.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Except for those of us
Who work outside London and got caught up in the "back from a bank holiday trip" traffic this evening, not that I hate them all honest. Even though I've probably driven a total of only 4,000 miles in my life and it seems I was the only one to know the difference between the two below methods of changing lane:

A - Mirror, Signal, Manouver
B - Signal & Manouver simoutaniously wthout looking and force me to test my ABS

Cunts, the fucking lot of them!

- Sorry
(bill, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:24, Reply)

Ahh, the joys of living and working 70 miles inland, nowhere near any coast-bound roads.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:30, Reply)

at least you get the option
here in Spain, the holidays are on the DATES, rather than the nearest Monday. which meant nothing was open this past Saturday, and makes for some rather strange working weeks at times
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:05, Reply)

Have ...
... spent the day writing up some bits and pieces from my students.
Some of them are a real problem.

I do wish I had a real-life but apparently not.
(JohntheDane, Mon 3 May 2010, 19:33, Reply)

Are you from Denmark or are you a very large dog?

( girlinthehole, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:12, Reply)

He's a great Dane.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 May 2010, 20:53, Reply)

Danish, yes
Great? Not so sure, I'm sorry.
(JohntheDane, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:22, Reply)

A bit Like Sandi Toksvig then.
How tall are you?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:25, Reply)

Word up
I'm back from a boss weekend in Cumbria and a bit of a day in Scotland, where there is no greater joy than hearing an old lady say "turrnips".
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:33, Reply)

Praise be.
Could you put 'turnips' in dialect pliz.
Could you sing it to 'Rawhide'?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 21:40, Reply)

Oooh noooo
tharts tayribal... a oonly caym doon far turrrnups...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:41, Reply)

i'll kindly thank you
to stop mocking my granny
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:48, Reply)

No turrrnups for her on Saturday

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 21:52, Reply)

Weel - that's a turrnup fa' tha boooks.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 3 May 2010, 22:03, Reply)

The usual, Mrs Mack?*
*name the show
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:11, Reply)

Sadly
(Take the) High Road
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:19, Reply)

That'll be.
Take The High Road.

Edit. Bollocks, beaten to it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:19, Reply)

mindpiss

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:20, Reply)

Och Aye.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:20, Reply)

Woo!
*whistles the theme, not the shitty 90s one*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:29, Reply)

I never saw it.
I missed almost all daytime telly, having to go to work.

Au revoir mes amis. See you all in the morning.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:39, Reply)

I'm on abaaaht when we were lil nippers!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:46, Reply)

I'm looking at city centre flats
I currently have a 3-bedroom house with a big garden and I use 2 rooms total. And I hate gardening.

I've got 6ish years left on the mortgage and it was pre-boom too, so I could well end up in a swanky flat in the city for less than I'm paying now if it all worked out even okay. And this time I'd get a cleaner in from the start and avoid the nightmare of housework.

Big life change but could well be worth it. Man, I'd have to throw out an entire moving truck's worth of stuff for starters.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:41, Reply)

I iz in city centre flat
In fact I've been in one of those most of my life.
Brilliant.
Do it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Well, that settles it then :)
Edit: Some quick internetting reveals smaller houses in my area priced at £120K (although I won't get that due to tha rundown state of this place) and city centre flats around £130K. So could easily end up with a 10-year mortgage that still costs less than I'm paying now. Woo! This looks do-able!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Get in!
I lived in a house for ten years and it looked like a total effort.
Grass and all that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:59, Reply)

Rootz!
Did you enjoy my Scotchland?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:52, Reply)

YOUR Scotchland?

Don't think so, boy. That shit belongs to me
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:54, Reply)

1) Yes
2) More yes, as she was down near where I live.

3) Yes again.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 3 May 2010, 22:58, Reply)

I went to Kirkcudbright
And I took a picture of the town cat who died, and bought a hat in a charity shop, and heard an old lady say turrrnips and ate the bestest battered fish ever and drank a Tennent's shandy.
I are now Scottish.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 23:02, Reply)

What a good addition you'll be
I've not been over Kirkcudbright way for a while, might once I get my car.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 3 May 2010, 23:07, Reply)

I can say it as well
It's Kir-coo-bree.
Isn't it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 3 May 2010, 23:08, Reply)

You are correct
It certainly is. You'll fit in in no time.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 3 May 2010, 23:16, Reply)