Next election thread
who will you be voting for today. If you're spineless you can use the minipoll instead. Actually everyone should put their answer in the poll so we know what sort of people - other than the obvious are using OT.

which cunt tickles your fancy?




( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 6 May 2010, 8:53, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

i vote breasts

( broadsword, Thu 6 May 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I'm splitting my vote
Breasts in the general election.
Fannies in the local council.
(Cave Duck, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:04, Reply)

I'm voting for that cunt who's not one of the other two cunts.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 May 2010, 8:57, Reply)

My thoughts exactly.
As I've said before every manifesto should say vote for us. We promise not to fuck things up as much as the other two parties would, but if we do, vote for us again and we'll try and put it right. Promise. *Fonz thumbs*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 May 2010, 10:25, Reply)

isn't that bascially what labour keep bleating?
or maybe it's more like 'we've fucked up already, but NOW we know how to put it right, just in time for an election -so go on, vote for us!'
( ascorbate, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Hey! there's no option for non of the above.

( girlinthehole, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:03, Reply)

of the above ces.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:06, Reply)

?

( girlinthehole, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:37, Reply)

nonces

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:30, Reply)

I'm going for the one that's said "Broken Britain" the least

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I would dearly love
to cave all of their stupid faces in with an adze.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:18, Reply)

You just don't see enough adze usage these days.
That's probably a post for the "times of yore" thread above.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I'm flying the flag
for medieval face-caving instruments. Hopefully I can spearhead* a revival.

*There's another one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Good point.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:28, Reply)

*Roger Moore 'Ooof!'*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:30, Reply)

A flat shovel has more comedy value.
Or an iron, as in Tom and Jerry.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 6 May 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Call me an old stick in the mud if you will, but
I still like the frying pan. Unshowy, but gets the job done. A classic.
(Cave Duck, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I'm voting for Giant Douche
simply look at his opponent. He is a Turd Sandwich

Let's get out and vote!
Let's make our voices heard!
We've been given the right to choose
Between a douche and a turd
It's democracy in action,
Put your freedom to the test,
A big fat turd or a stupid douche,
Which do you like best?
( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I
I don't have a vote in the general election but as an EU citizen in the UK I can vote in your local elections -- and I voted Lib Dem.

Despite only being here for less than a year, I do not like Gordon Brown (which appears to be a majority stance as I understand it via your media) and fear that he is actually a robot designed to make Tony Blair look good.

As for David Cameron: despite the fact that he appears to be your next PM I am afraid that he has all of the charisma of a wet rag and the shining forehead makes me wonder if years of inbreeding mean that the forehead is covering up a third eye.
(JohntheDane, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:24, Reply)

I've just been asked in an exit poll who I voted for.
I told him BNP, and smiled sweetly. the poor sod was Asian, he looked embarrased. It cheered my morning up.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 6 May 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Good work.
My father told Jehovah's Witnesses that 'all of us in this house are servants of Satan', they ran off down the drive in terror shouting 'we'll pray for you'. My father was a Chaplain at the time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:40, Reply)

My Flatmate told the JWs that he was a worshiper of Satan and sacrificed goats in the kitchen
They came back several times a week from then on because they believed he needed saving. A polite no thank you would probably have been better in the long run.
( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I told them I was a geology student and asked for help with coursework.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:51, Reply)

If I'm going to be fucked by the government
I would rather it had the face of Nick Clegg than Gordon or Cameron.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I would definitely agree there
Cameron would be too rough and Brown wouldn't be very good.
( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I'd have thought Brown would be rougher.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 6 May 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Nah, he's too fat and lazy
Camerons a Tory, it would be "Right scum, I'm coming in and I've not lubed!"
( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:01, Reply)

*Something about not getting their deposit back*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Which one has the hottest wife?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Cameron

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Wrong
They're all equally munterish
( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Really?
I've always thought she looked like some gawky cross between a horse and a pterodactyl. I thought Clegg's wife was relatively easy on the eye, but we didn't see much of her as he seemed to prefer hanging around with that older bloke.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Ah but she's foreign.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I can just imagine your frustrations
"Erm...hablo inglés? No? Oh, fucking hell. Ok...do you - you, tu - do you take it...take it? Damn it...Jeeves! Jeeves, get the Spanish dictionary out of the library and look up "arse," will you, old chap?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Sarkozy
Sorry, wrong election...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:15, Reply)

and incorrect spelling of erection.

(Cave Duck, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Sorry, I do have such trouble keeping track of all my erections

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:39, Reply)

You should keep a 'wood log'.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Hang on, are you saying that there are other things you can use MS Office/Outlook for?

(Cave Duck, Thu 6 May 2010, 12:08, Reply)

I'm not allowed to vote for Cameron or Piston might think I have a self inflated ego =(((
www.b3ta.com/questions/nemesis/post714972#answers-post-715068
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I was going to vote BNP but their immigration polocies are too soft and wishey washey
Seriously though it really doesn't matter who I vote for as my constituency is so safe that Harriet Harman could stand in front of the polling booths kicking every voter in the crotch before they went in the booth and she would still win.

www.voterpower.org.uk/camberwell-peckham
(bill, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I'm voting Lib Dem
despite being in the safest of safe tory constituencies. our local tory mp is shadow minister for cornwall though - apparently he lives there. I live in Hertfordshire. And there is no minister for cornwall for him o shadow anyway.
still, our lib dem bloke looks about 12, so there's not much to choose between them. the local labour candidate is frighteningly ugly - when I showed all the leaflets we'd got through the door to my baby, he tore most of them up, but screamed when he saw the labour bloke's photo.
( ascorbate, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Mark Prisk is related to my wife
and is a tosspot.
( Peej, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:17, Reply)

so he's technically related to you too?
poor you.
( ascorbate, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I shan't be voting today. Us Sunderlanders must maintain the apathy record.
We are aiming for a ZERO per cent turnout.
That'll show the fuckers.
Bastards the lot of them.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Ah, so that's why Sunderland are always first to declare their result

(Cave Duck, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Yup.
It was on the news and everything.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 6 May 2010, 11:43, Reply)

It is actually.
Generally it has the lowest turn out, mainly because most of the inhabitants are illiterate to the point of being unable to write 'X' in a box.

Ho ho ho. Etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 May 2010, 12:12, Reply)