bloody hell
I just got an email from sro audiences, who get audiences together for TV shows - think I signed up for the email list a few years ago when I was regularly going to see Have I got News for You live. Anyway, excuses for receiving the email over, look at this:

"The biggest show on earth just got bigger! James Corden presents his unique take on the World Cup along with some big name celebrity guests, football legends and fantastic regulars on his brand new ITV show James Corden’s World Cup Live.

This will be the hottest ticket in town; the best place in the country to watch the World Cup - and you could be there!

James Corden’s World Cup Live is an entertainment show that combines comedy, glamour, sport, music and all the colour of the tournament to create the ultimate celebration of the World Cup.

James wants to create a month-long party through an incredibly vibrant, energetic and atmospheric studio. As well as being a live studio show, we will interact with our viewers at home and the studio audience. This show isn’t just for football fans; it’s got something for everybody. Bring on the World Cup!

Some episodes will take place at The ITV London Studios, and some at BBC TV Centre. If you'd like to join James, then apply now!"

Can you imagine anything more soul destroying than this? Really?
( ascorbate, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:02, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes!
Graham Norton's England World Cup Camp.

*Shudders* 8.2.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Eugh
that sounds the like the most dire thing ever
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I love that it exists
My TV will be turned off anyway, but knowing that this'll piss off some football fans gives me a massive grin.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:08, Reply)

You've not come to my drinks yet.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I look forward to seeing
if it can possibly be the worse than the thought of James Corden doing anything. He genuinely is one of the most loathsome people around
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:20, Reply)

You've not met me yet
Or Vipros.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Fatness jokes aside
I can't believe either you or Vipros are twats on as massive a scale as James Corden. I'm willing to suspend judgement till I've met you though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:22, Reply)

In all seriousness, I'm not at all
but Vipros, he's actually a massive tool.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:27, Reply)

he's = he has
yeah?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:27, Reply)

well you would know

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I've never met the gent
But TGB said she almost felt something, so it must be huge.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I think he reversed his car in there

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:43, Reply)

that is true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Well Vipros
is coming to Sonisphere like most reasonable people. So judgement suspension will have to continue for a while longer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:30, Reply)

I would have gone
but I'm going to be in the south pacific enjoying some awesome sunshine.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Al!
I didn't reply earlier cos I had a stealthy nap, not cos I was cowering in fear at the thought of you having my number. I've already got dj's so gaz me yours if you like.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:44, Reply)

we'll have a better time without you there anyway
go and enjoy your beautiful holiday

see if we care

*sobs*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:49, Reply)

^this
there is no sense of bitter rejection in our hearts at all
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:11, Reply)

not a trace

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)

just an empty echo of loss

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:22, Reply)

That comment is even more emo than Agnostic Antichrist.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

just wait till I get started
on the earthy humour lyrics
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:28, Reply)

NEEDS MOAR RHYTHM STICK

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:34, Reply)

working here
*sigh*
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:10, Reply)

Yup.
An email from Amazon.co.uk encouraging me to buy more stuff from them. Based on what I've bought from them in the past, why, oh why, did they see fit to recommend to me a DVD of the first series of Glee?*

*_{The answer 'because you're a massive bumder/bumber/stealthy bandit of the posterior' has already been postulated.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I'd speculate that it is because you are a flagrant dirt-road bandito

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Perhaps Amazon
are able to spot my heaving, lurching bumderism in a way that I cannot fully appreciate.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Due to my laziness in going into town to buy stuff
At one point the first page of my Amazon recommendations was entirely composed of stationery
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Because you have bought bass accessories in the past
and they realised, quite rightly, that this makes you a limp wristed individual.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:17, Reply)

A buttplug is not a bass accessory!

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Amazon once suggested that because I'd bought Season 1 of Chorlton and the Wheelies
I might enjoy The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, "Under the Bridge". Lolwhut?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:33, Reply)

oh dear god
having googled James Cordon to find out who he is, it's shit like that that makes me all smug about not having a TV licence.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I could feel my life force ebbing away just reading that
can you imagine how bad watching it being filmed would be, especially if they have to repeat part of it again and again and again...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:14, Reply)

An hour with Kaol?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:15, Reply)

I hope he reads this
then comes up to Manchester and fucks you right up.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I had to do that once
And it was so boring, I was like, "man, wake me up when September ends..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Sounds like it really spoke to your soul

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:19, Reply)

In a way that made me feel like the only decent thing to do was have sex with all my best friends
And then alienate them all so they would leave me alone to wank into a drawer.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Oh my god, I know just how you feel.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:24, Reply)

We should totally cut ourselves in empathy with one another
(I've also found a good drawer - do you want to do me and I'll do you?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Ugh
just reading this is sucking the energy from my body through my eyes. Ok, so I dislike football and won't be watching it anyway, but James Corden has never come across as anything other than a complete twat. I'm *so* glad my local doesn't show any sport.
(berk, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I think we should start a petition asking James Corden to piss off

( broadsword, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:52, Reply)

I really genuinely think this is a good idea

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

'Chris Packham's Puffin Touching'
after 9 hours of patiently waiting Chris still has yet to stick his finger up a Puffin, now that's soul destroying.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Biochemistry Revision

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 14:59, Reply)

You've done this to yourself
Should have done Media Studies
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:01, Reply)

But I look so good in a lab coat!
*sobs*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:02, Reply)

You should bring a lab coat to donington.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:06, Reply)

Interesting suggestion
I'll see if it fits in.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:10, Reply)

oh and glasses and rubber gloves
no wait I'm thinking of Kim and Aggy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:25, Reply)

no
biochem is fun! I spent this afternoon looking at metabolomes, happy day!
( ascorbate, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:14, Reply)

No.
I have an exam tomorrow. Work done so far:
Lectures covered: 4/22. Past papers don: 0/3 Revision quizzes done: 0/10
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

But it's not Biochemistry's fault your a slack arsed student
who spent to much time on the piss only to realise too late that you're supposed to work during term time and not just cram your revision into the week at the end.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Actually, it's b3ta's fault.
And this is how I've always revised for exams
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Yes but GCSEs and A-Levels are piss easy
but degrees, at least those in proper subjects like you're doing, are quite hard.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

you're supposed to work during termtime?
Al why didn't you share this piece of wisdom before?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I tried
but you dismissed it as Liberal bleating and started to lick your photo of Michael Gove.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Signed photo of Michael Gove if you please
and he loves it.

So Al in an attempt to bring some passion back to your soul how are you feeling about the academies announcement?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:27, Reply)

It looks like classic Tory policy
give the good schools the chance to get even more money first, and fuck the rest of them.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I'm not so sure
I'm a big fan of Michael Gove, and I know a couple of people who work in his office, and as they've pointed out- that's only the start of the wave
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

get off b3ta then!
what uni year are you? I winged it until finals, with much less studying than I should have done. so unless this is your final year, 1 night of work should get you through. but do log off for a few hours!!
( ascorbate, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

She's only a first year, these exams don't count

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:25, Reply)

I really want this to be pronounced "meet-ah-bah-LOAM-eez"
in a Mexican accent. Is that how it's said? Please tell me it is.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:11, Reply)

I should have added
I am scottish and therefore have no interest whatsoever in the world cup. so thee combination of corden & football makes me seriously depressed.
( ascorbate, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Every wondered what cr3 thinks of you?
www.b3ta.com/cr3/
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Haha!
Gotta love that Cr3
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Yeah he's a goodun

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:39, Reply)

I want to click 'I like this' on his page
but can't, so instead I'm going to click your post.

*click*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:41, Reply)

You disgusting toady

(Bazongaloid, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Yeeeuch, as if
by clicking this post, I'm agreeing that you're* all inbred.

So up yours, brotherfuckers.

*I don't consider myself a fully-fledged member of OT again yet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

What do you mean, what he thinks of you?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

He loves me very much

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:46, Reply)

How do you know?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:48, Reply)

because he's stroked my face and tried to kiss me

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Oh man that's nowt to do with why you have called your post 'Every wondered what cr3 thinks of you?'
I assumed it was going to say "Oh man I love that Psychochomp, I'm totally gonna highlight all his posts"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:51, Reply)

he totally should highlight all my posts
and make me impossible to put on ignore, that'll be fun.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:52, Reply)

I think B3ta would implode if that ever happened!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:54, Reply)

Flimmin 'eck!
Look who it darn well is!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Alright lovely!
How goes it?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

I'm good ta luv
I am happy with my parasol today, despite the mixed reaction on the city streets...

How is yourself?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I'm good ta!
Are people asking you to twirl again? I'm sure its just a ruse so you can offer out Caramel waffers to kids again... am I right?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:00, Reply)

Haha, I'm on that register now :(
No, most people aren't impressed. I got a round of applause coming into work though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Aww well sod 'em
They don't understand that you burn like a... burny thing!

Work appreciates you, that's all that matters! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Tell me about the sweeties, Flim
I've missed your Haribo antics
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Alright!
Sadly the work Haribo has diminished in recent months so I’ve actually had to go out at lunch times and buy my own sweets, would you believe it! The good news however is that a Mr Simms Sweet Shop has opened up around the corner from where I work so I will never be too far from sweetie joy again! Huzah!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I can't wait,
I should put it on bugs and features request.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Indeed.
Its a perfectly sensible request.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Maybe make everything I type twice as big as normal too?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)

and in colour
I see you having red text in a different font also!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I think everything he posts should be followed up by an automated reply
explaining why what he's said is funny.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:08, Reply)

FUCK YES
that would be awesome.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:09, Reply)

But wouldn't the automated response just say
'Because he bloody is, alright'
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)

"If you don't think it's funny it's because you're stupid"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)

I'm so glad that I don't watch TV
And I save the money of the TV license too.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:03, Reply)

But you're missing out on so much quality tv
like...err...um...

..."burn notice" is quite entertaining in a "Miami Vice" meets "The A-Team" meets "The Equalizer" kind of way
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:26, Reply)

This is entirely unrelated
but my profile now has 100% more goose punching!! I'm a happy kitty, thanks Lab!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)