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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've just been asked to DJ an afterparty that Sepultura are throwing at their upcoming gigThe offer included the words "if you're interested?"
What resoundingly stupid questions have you been asked lately?
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:52, 202 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
"What resoundingly stupid questions have you been asked lately?"(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:53,
Reply)
What resoundingly stupid questions have you been asked lately?MOTHERFUCKER!
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:53, Reply)
HA! Beat ya!(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:53,
Reply)
Yesterday I was asked something rather stupid..."Do you want a bacon and egg sandwich?"
IN WHAT WORLD WOULD I SAY NO TO THAT?!?!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:56,
Reply)
In a world before september had endedbecause you would be asleep.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:01, Reply)
Well, I don't know, you are quite dull.But I suspect you need to rest to soothe your soul.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
I have no soulSo we're a bit stuck there
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:03,
Reply)
No, my shoes really are knackeredBumder
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:16,
Reply)
You just like to get the last word in(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
Now this is just getting silly(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:40,
Reply)
I bet you won't come back to this now*Wins*
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 19:20,
Reply)
It was something an idiot gozzy-eyed fat-fingered doctor asked meI'm going to petrol bomb his cunting house
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:56,
Reply)
Erm...If I called you over the weekend I do apologise - I was inebriated, tired and a tad emotional.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:57, Reply)
I'm alrightBit peaky but evrything's going to be fine ya hear me!
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:03,
Reply)
Was it"While I'm down here, do you want me to do a quick tightening up?"
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:57,
Reply)
You cheeky bastardIt's like a gnat's chuff it is
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:00,
Reply)
I shall take your word for itAnd apologise for insinuating otherwise!
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:02,
Reply)
Right that's it!No more talk about rudes for the rest of the day!
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:16,
Reply)
Was it"Can you feel that?"
As he attempted to peel you from the ceiling.
The bastard.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:26, Reply)
The air conditioning in the main server room has broken downso the network is down. Today I have been asked "When will it be back up" I have responded "I really couldn't even guess, we have to wait for the engineer and we have no idea when he will arrive and no idea how long it will take to fix and then no idea how long it will take to bring up the servers" they have nearly all responded with "So how long do you think? An hour?" We now have a game going on that if we have to repeat the line "We really don't know how long" more than five times we have to say "oh about 20 minutes" and see what their reaction is. Due to the stupidity of the people here I have already told three people that the network will be back up in 20 minutes.
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Peej, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:56,
Reply)
I always found a resounding "Pfft. I dunno."Accompanied by a shrug of the shoulders and a totally mongy look got rid of them. For 20 minutes. Coincidence or what?
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:01, Reply)
I hate thatOur exchange server went down the other day, it's looked after by a different department who had to call in both BT and IBM to get it fixed, explaining this down the phone along with "when they tell us we'll know" and "you'll probably be the first to know since your mail will start working again" with the frequent "we don't know how long it'll take" were almost always met with "but how long roughly?"
I don't fucking know, I'm not omniscient.
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Kroney, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:21,
Reply)
Is it hot enough for you?No. Fuck off, I like the surface of the sun.
Idiots.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:59,
Reply)
how about a statement instead?I told someone I didn't want to talk to them anymore, so the next day they called and left a voicemail telling me they wanted me to lose their number and act as if they never existed.
Well, my stars! I was hoping to do that anyway, crazypants.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 15:59,
Reply)
To follow Kristine's lead, I've another statement, but it's more shocking than stupid"He's got a 6 pack, that's great. He's also got a massive cock!"
I wasn't quite expecting to hear that this weekend...
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:01,
Reply)
Hahah I'm having fun guessing who said that about whomI bet I'm right
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:04,
Reply)
We can verify if you say who you think's being spoken about(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:05,
Reply)
I'll feel dead bad if I'm wrongSod it, was it chickenlady?
SORRY IF IT WASN'T
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:06,
Reply)
I'm 95% sure she said it, yes.(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:07,
Reply)
Don't be embarrassed, was hilarious!(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:17,
Reply)
It has kept a smile on his face ever since(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:18,
Reply)
So long as it keeps one on yours too then it's all good :)(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:52,
Reply)
*winks* *triggerfingers*(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:19,
Reply)
it does more than just warm chickenlady's cocklesgives them a good prodding too I'd wager
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:25,
Reply)
I'll take up professional croissant eating shall I?(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:29,
Reply)
We will becomeCroissant Eaters of B3ta!
Vipros will be our leader, obviously.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:33,
Reply)
Yes!Follow me, I have his Mark Almond paste-filled croissant!
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:34,
Reply)
about time I got the recognition I deserve(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:35,
Reply)
I have always recognised your right to smuggery(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:40,
Reply)
Mine would probably be"You've said you need x hours to do this job, can perform a few more tasks but do it in half the overall time?"
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:01,
Reply)
Not recent, but the stupidest question I've ever been asked,At my highschool prom, I went very oriental - cheongsam dress, chopsticks in my hair etc. A boy who had known me the full five years of highschool came over and asked:
"Are you actually Chinese then?"
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:02, Reply)
No.If I get mistaken for any kind of forrin, it's usually Norwegian or Swedish.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:07, Reply)
There are much worse nationalities to be mistaken forI've only ever met two Swedish girls and they were both unfeasibly attractive
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:13, Reply)
I love it.Scandinavian women are fucking hot.
Although, I get it because despite coming from a family where my mum's side is mostly Italian, and my dad's side all have curly black hair and bright blue eyes, I have blonde hair, very fair skin and pale grey eyes.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)
That is pretty unusualI made a total dick of myself today. I friended some B3tans on FB and saw someone with blonde hair commenting on pics from Al's London bash. For some reason, because Amberl told me you were there, I thought it was you. I was wrong. Oops
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:24, Reply)
Very, especially since my sister is obviously a direct combombination of my parents.I've always wondered if I should be worried.
Ha, oh dear. Who was it then? It might have been me, I did comment on some of the pictures. Mostly the Rapey/Lampito one.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:28, Reply)
The comment was on a pic of Rapey and RootaAnd for some reason the blonde hair was enough for me to think it was you, even though the person's first name was Becky. She rightly called me a massive spastic
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:31, Reply)
Yep. I hardly know Becky. She was most corteous about refusing my friend requestMy usual FB friend-whoring was bound to get me into deep shit eventually
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:37, Reply)
She refused you?I'm surprised because Becky is all of the lovely.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
I refused TLiC a while backbecause I don't actually know him
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djtrialprice, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
Maybe she too has this 'I don't actually know you' rule(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:47,
Reply)
I dont add random shitcunts to my FBSo everyone on here who survived the weekend cull should feel very grateful.
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fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:53,
Reply)
No, I'm just not terribly keen on you.(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:11,
Reply)
this is also my stanceYou can only be my fb friend if you're okay with a 3am visit from me in my boxers. If you haven't had one yet, your time is nigh.
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djtrialprice, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:56,
Reply)
I love the division of how well receivedthis would be
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djtrialprice, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:01,
Reply)
ShushIt's been nearly two weeks. My time is
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:04,
Reply)
As I said, she was very nice about itShe said she was trying to minimise the number of randoms on her FB and as she hadn't met me... which is fair enough, not everyone is such a friend-whore as I am.
Of course it's possible she just thinks I'm a cunt *awaits painfully obvious response from Al*
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:47, Reply)
Don't worry, she thinks I'm a cunt too.Not really that much of a shock...
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:52,
Reply)
You said something very nasty and then refused to recant it. This makes you a cunt in my book.(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:11,
Reply)
It was in an entirely joking capacityBut fair enough, offense was not intended
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:15,
Reply)
I know!How wild is that?!
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:46,
Reply)
When I friended a couple of people earlier - I think they'd prefer if I didn't name and shameI was recommended a guy who I thought might be DJTP, but I realised it couldn't be cos his first name wasn't Trial
That's how it works, right?
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:48, Reply)
"All the single ladies, all the single ladies..."*fwaps*
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djtrialprice, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:54,
Reply)
I didn't try and friend himas he too may well have pulled the "who the fuck are you?" rule, and there's only so much rejection a boy can handle
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:55, Reply)
I knowIt's really funny 'cos, like, you look and sound like you've got learning difficulties! Ahahahahaha.
Jesus, when is rapey getting back so someone else can take over pigtail-pulling duties?
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djtrialprice, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:42,
Reply)
If Applebite had pigtailsRapey would be constantly spluffing his shorts.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
Sometimes I do.French plait ones. They make me look proper sweet an innocent.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:50, Reply)
When I had long hair in high schoolI used to deliberately put plaited pigtails in my hair when I knew I was going to get into trouble, because they made me look so innocent.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:22, Reply)
I answered yes,To which he said "Wow! Really??"
and I replied "No! Do I fucking look chinese, you fucking retard?"
And then he bought me a drink.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:05, Reply)
Well, it would match your dietSurely recently you've enjoyed the cream of 'sum yun guy'?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:04,
Reply)
I tell people I'm chinese all the timePeople love to hear about Grandma Ling-Ling
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:20,
Reply)
"did you know one of your brake lights isn't working?"Said some bloke very arrogantly to me yesterday after taking offence to me managing to already be in the bit of road he wanted to drive in which to which my reply was "Yes thanks, someone told me at a junction in Halifax 4 hours ago, now would you like to tell me its fucking hot outside as well?"
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:12, Reply)
I asked EnzymeDo you realize how sexy you are?
And he replied: No.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:17, Reply)
Would you have preferred it if he'd adopted "ViprosFace" and said yes?(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:18, Reply)
I'm often told that a lack of self-confidence is not especially attractivebut I think massive overbearing arrogance is worse
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:25, Reply)
You're right, arrogance is worseHowever, a little bit of lack of confidence, but without being too shy, is very attractive. You feel you need to look after him and care and protect him, like a little puppie.
To clarify, I'm not talking about Enzyme, just in general.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
Just don't overdo itBecause you can get to the point where she thinks "Oh, c'mon, he's a baby or what?! Can't he do anything by himself?!"
I might have been there several times.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:31, Reply)
She has always encouraged me to show a little more self-beliefLuckily she knows what's good for me considerably better than I do
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
Hahaha!Sorry, but that sounds so mmm... calzonazos, I'll let you find it.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:51, Reply)
Urban Dictionary has it
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 18:05,
Reply)
That's very good!I didn't know they had definitions for Spanish slang as well.
(, Tue 29 Jun 2010, 8:33, Reply)
Fucking hellI knew you were deluded, but I didn't realise it was that bad.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:20, Reply)
Hahaha!He's a very sexy boy, beautiful eyes and very clever. You're just jealous.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:21, Reply)
There's something very wrong with men having long hairIt's not right goddamnit. They should be lined up against the wall and shot!
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djtrialprice, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:28,
Reply)
Why? I like itAnd I've never convinced any of my partners to leave it long enough.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:29, Reply)
You hear that Roota?I've found one!
I used to have very, very long hair which is now quite short and I don't like it
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djtrialprice, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:37,
Reply)
Fine, go and grow it again and lose the fly-paperAnd she's getting married so she wouldn't touch you.
Hippy.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:38,
Reply)
Oh, yesI wouldn't like a hippy hippy in my life. I like the style, not the way of thinking!
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:41, Reply)
Like Rodney Trotter when he got that rat ponytail?I would never impose hair fascism on you, but come on, do yourself a favour...
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:42,
Reply)
I knowI jest.
I adore fringes and always have.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:36,
Reply)
YES!I will try to find the cartoon of me when I had a big lopsided fringe too.
"USE THE FRINGE"
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:39,
Reply)
Roota, your hair is awesomeAnd a fine example of why fringes on women can look hot.
Fringes on men look stupid though, especially emo fringes that fall in front of the face. Twats.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:41,
Reply)
Thanks Labness!But I think a bit of fringe just up to or in front of a bloke's eyes is bang tidy.
Not a big emo one though.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
NooooooooooooooooMassive ones are stupid and gay, granted, but just a little one, maybe slightly covering one eye, I especially like light brown or natual blonde, maybe with a hint of ginger and then they have to do that little flick thing to get it out the way an- *swoons*
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:55, Reply)
he's got short hair(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:36,
Reply)
I beg your fucking pardon, old boy?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:45,
Reply)
Too easyEDIT: Damn you, Boyce! I'd just like to say that before Monty rephrased the above, this was FUCKING FUNNY
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:49, Reply)
Oh my god, sarcasm!My most hated of all the -asms. I must withdraw
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:58, Reply)
Matter of timeAt 5pm I am only ever one or two internet insults away from a damn good splunge
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:01, Reply)
It's good fun!Did you try squeezing it? It's like one of those stress relief balls.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:27, Reply)
I've never met himI remember you like overtly geeky guys though
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djtrialprice, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:29,
Reply)
That is trueYou can probably call him geeky and he won't be offended, but I don't know him that much.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:30, Reply)
I went for a walk yesterday during the football and met a girl I sort-of-knowshe asked me how the football was going.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:18,
Reply)
Nope, I wasn't carrying anythingjust me and nature going for a walk, no ipod, no radio, no headphones...
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:23,
Reply)
I did actually want to say "I dont know, i'm not fucking psychic you dimwitted twat"but she was slim, blonde and pretty so I didn't.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:30,
Reply)
You invited them to walk with youOr even better, you offered to walk her to wherever she was going, then had a drink with her, and spend the night being naughty, eh? Who is the psychic now!
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:33, Reply)
Her boyfriend is a client of mineand she was walking his dog at the time.
Sexy fun time seemed unlikely.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:34,
Reply)
Oh :-(Well, at least you had a something to entertain your thoughts on the way.
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:36, Reply)
I'm not even a real Colonel*sobs*
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:43,
Reply)
Yay! Sympathy!(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:48,
Reply)
Knock it off, Colin.You just don't learn, do you?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:56,
Reply)
STOP HOUNDING ME!If you have 1 drink, you're not an alchoholic...if you smoke 1 spliff you're not a drug addict...but you brutally murder 1 woman and you're labelled as a murderer for life!
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:01,
Reply)
Fucking hell Col,just trying to give you a bit of friendly guidance. Just because a woman talks to you out of sympathy doesn't mean it's advisible to start, y'know, fessing up to 'stuff'...
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:06,
Reply)
Meh, they can't try you for the same crime twicenow where did I put that hammer? I fancy a walk.
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:16,
Reply)
You can't prove nuffinkjust like the police
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Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:49,
Reply)
Go to thisb3ta.com/calendar/event/22503
It will be fun.
EDIT - this doesn't answer the question, it's just friendly advice.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:31,
Reply)
YesBut I won't pay for the airfare.
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:45,
Reply)
Sorrybut my pocket money won't stretch that far :(
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chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:48,
Reply)
I saw Sepultura supporting Motorhead once.They were extremely tedious.
The end.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:47,
Reply)
I saw Sepultura doing a joint headline gig with Slayer in '98Shall we suffice it to say it was very apparent who the actual headliners were by the end of the night
All the same, getting paid to go to a gig and get drunk with the band works for me
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:52, Reply)
They enjoy a good smoke, I believe(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:54,
Reply)
I certainly hope soAlthough given the timing of the gig and the likelihood of Brazil winning the World Cup, I may be getting stoned in the presence of the smuggest men in the world. Good practice for Sonisphere
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 16:59, Reply)
*looks amazed**bows*
*wanders off to have a sit down*
PS - Thanks for the "young" bit
(, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:07, Reply)
All this sunny weatheris making me feel exceptionally old. My area is full of under-dressed physically attractive women - with ghastly shallow personalities to match.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 17:24,
Reply)
so is herefar too many bikinis
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 28 Jun 2010, 18:13,
Reply)
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