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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Morning you lot.
This morning I was walking to work and saw something that I found odd and a little disturbing in the woods. A pair of tights were hanging from a bush. A little further down were a pair of black knickers with white lace trim. A few metres on, a used tampon.

How was your journey to work today?
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:06, 131 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

that sounds rather revolting.
since I didn't have to work - my journey was non-existant.
However - I did go into town to get my traintickets organised. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:08, Reply)

I quite sincerely wish I didn't have to work today.
Thankfully, a few weeks back I booked next Friday afternoon off, without realising it was Grand Prix weekend. We're fucking busy Friday afternoon on Grand Prix weekend. Result!
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:13, Reply)

It sounds like a trap to me.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:49, Reply)

A gravel trap.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:50, Reply)

I actually got that joke and it made me giggle a little bit.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I'm so fucking honoured right now.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:55, Reply)

They don't have so many gravel traps in F1 these days
The cars tended to skitter over the top of them, so they've now gone with tarmac run off areas instead, which give the driver a better chance of controlling a wayward vehicle.

Not that it makes any difference if you're upside down like Mark Webber was last week, mind you!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)

The onboard footage of that crash freaks me out a little.
Apparently he doesn't remember much apart from wondering if there were any bridges on that part of the track.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:05, Reply)

It was very scary
Not that he was doing very well on that race, losing 7 positions only at the start, but eh, at least he survived and walked out by his own foot.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:33, Reply)

F1 is remarkably safe these days
20 years ago, that kind of crash would have been fatal.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Yep
Still amazing he could walk and talk as if nothing had happened.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:53, Reply)

My journey to work
was very civilised this morning. I didn't get held up at the roadworks at all. Most pleasing.

And it's quite a nice day, unlike last night when it was pissing it down with rain.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:14, Reply)

What the hell was she wearing tights for in this warm weather?

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:19, Reply)

Perhaps she has varicose veins.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:23, Reply)

Maybe her knickers
had holes in them?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:23, Reply)

To stop her tampon leaking down her legs

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:31, Reply)

I miss bleeding.

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:32, Reply)

I need to move my computer screen
the glare from the window is making it hard to see.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:33, Reply)

Well that was easy

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:34, Reply)

Menopause already?
:-)
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:35, Reply)

No : (

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Have you got a plunger stuck on your fanny?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:37, Reply)

No : )

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Well
have you had it sewn up then?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:39, Reply)

Or are you a heamophilliac and you got a paper cut and all your blood fell out
and now you miss the ability to bleed because you're all shrivelled like a Big Girls Prune.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:41, Reply)

Haha.
No.
(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:41, Reply)

No.

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:41, Reply)

FFS, this is like 20 questions.
So, we've got 16 left...

Have you had it cauterised, by accidentally squatting down on a hot soldering iron?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:44, Reply)

Jeez! you lot don't know much about contraception.

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:45, Reply)

So you're on a pill so strong it stops you bleeding entirely?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:48, Reply)

It's a certain type of mini pill you take every day without a break.
Before that I just took my normal pill every day without a break. There really isn't a problem with not bleeding.
(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:50, Reply)

I often do that with the normal pill

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Yeah, me too

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I was going to feminise your name to Alice
But I think you're more an Angela
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:53, Reply)

Hmm
but wouldn't he be angthegeordie then?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Yeah
Well, ange, not ang
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:56, Reply)

Maybe it's Alexandra?

(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:57, Reply)

He's an Angela, and that's it!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Oh boy, I've never heard that one before
no sirree bob, not ever once in my 29 and a half years on the planet has someone inferred that my name is in fact short for a girls name.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Just because it's old
doesn't mean it's not funny!

Unless you're talking about Bruce Forsyth.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Or you

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Touché

(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:03, Reply)

I would want to be "Angie"

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I thought about that
You know the score, girl
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:58, Reply)

*clicks fingers*
*bobs head sideways*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Angina?

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:18, Reply)

Just let me get a bit fatter

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:19, Reply)

My Dad had it
Now he has diabetes. Silly stubborn fat bastard.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:21, Reply)

*sigh*
+m
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:04, Reply)

AltheaGeordie

(

Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)

'angthegeordie?
RACIST!
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Yes we do know about contraception
but that's not as much fun as coming up with ridiculous suggestions about plungers on your fanny etc!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I despise bleeding

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:41, Reply)

I despise the pain it can cause.

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:42, Reply)

It is vile and interferes with 'relations'
(Not relations like your mum and your aunty Annie though)
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Haha!
I think I posted once about a guy getting up from having relations and looking like he'd been in a road accident.
(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Nightmare!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:49, Reply)

We both found it hilarious.

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:51, Reply)

I could live without it though

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:52, Reply)

It does fuck up your sheets.

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:54, Reply)

Uh shurrup, what!

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:55, Reply)

I hate attracting bears

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I worry about Akitas and pit bulls round here when it's Star Week

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:50, Reply)

Don't go swimming
or the sharks will be sniffing around...
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:56, Reply)

I'm leaving in the next 10 minutes
or so. I suspect it'll be damp :(
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:23, Reply)

Thankyou for awesome brownies!

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:32, Reply)

Hehe
you're welcome. I don't often eat my drugs so I'm glad they turned out ok!
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Bloody lovely.
A nice gentle buzz building in little waves, no mongy aftertaste. Yum.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:52, Reply)

......
I didn't know there were 'special' brownies at the bash! Very glad I didn't have any.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Very glad
you didn't have any?
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Yes
I don't want to take drugs :)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:37, Reply)

But don't
you drink?
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Yes, but never (ok, rarely) to excess
And alcohol's legal. It's a personal thing, I don't mind others partaking.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Only me and Noel had them.
We were the only sober ones.
(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Grr

(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Fair enough
Each to their own and all that. I make a damnfine non-special brownie too, if requested :)
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:12, Reply)

This has got me lusting after normal brownies
or Snogbrownies. Or Snog. Lovely.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Snogbrownies?
wut?
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:20, Reply)

The girlfriends and I go to a place called Snog for our gossip sessions
(usually "Where did you wake up this morning?" "In my shower." "Oh, I woke up in the Thames")

They do excellent brownies.
(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:22, Reply)

A euphemism for rimming?

(Cave Duck, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:29, Reply)

I used to snog brownies
Now I have to wear this electronic thing on my ankle.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Therefore I would like to place a request for a non-special brownie, if you please

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I'll see what I can do
for the next bash :)
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Well, dry it then!

(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:32, Reply)

I shared : )

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:33, Reply)

Bzzzzzzzzzzzz.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:37, Reply)

?

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Your love eggs have fallen out and are buzzing on Noels foot.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Do eggs
buzz? This is news to me...
(berk, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:48, Reply)

It took me a day or two to shake that buzz.

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:48, Reply)

Oh!
I was fine. Maybe you're just a wuss. *laughs*
(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:52, Reply)

I sat next to Angelos Epithemiou from shooting stars on the train this morning
Or at least, it looked a hell of a lot like him. So much so that I got quite excited and wanted to touch him, in fact.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:27, Reply)

Hee hee, my two comments about what an unpleasant person you are
are currently hanging around the top of the popular page.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:33, Reply)

I know, I love anything that gives me attention of any kind

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:36, Reply)

I bet Bert was one of those that clicked I like this.

(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:37, Reply)

I sure was
It's not enough that 4 of my own posts got on the popular page the other day, but posts by other people trying to slag me off are just as validating
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Not bad.
I was up your way actually, shooting my latest 'vampire dogging' film.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:50, Reply)

You duh-ee bar-sturd

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:54, Reply)

That took me too long to try and work out what you were saying :/

(

Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Haha.
How're you chap? Not seen you since before you went away.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I'm rather shit, old boy, unfortunately.
Hope you're good, though.

I am DJing tonight at 'Househeimer's' (cringe) in that there trendy Shoreditch, where I shall be playing rave classics from the proto-hardcore era of 1990-91. I don't want to.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:00, Reply)

Baddaya Baddaya badupadarmdayya Baddaya Baddaya

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Is that the same one that I sing as
Eh, ba-day, ba-waddle-a dai day, eh ba day!
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:04, Reply)

That's the one
and the breakdown in the middle goes "Badaladalah badah badadaladalah!"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:07, Reply)

and does someone shout "PWAAAH!"?

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)

'GWAN'

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Stop ruining it

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:49, Reply)

That's 'On A Ragga Tip' by SL2
It samples 'Walk & Skank' by Jah Screechie.

You have not been charged for this call.
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:10, Reply)

SL2, named after their postcode.
Inspired.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I'm contrastingly great, ta.
People were saying nice things about you at the bash.
(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:02, Reply)

That's nice to know, glad you're good, sir.

(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:16, Reply)

*blows whistle*
*rolls eyes into back of head*
(

girlinthehole, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Play DJH featuring Stefy

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Or DJ Sammie doing Heaven

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:08, Reply)

That is shit and isn't from 1991
"To the right, yeah come on, to the left, yeah, come on, to the right, yeah, come on, to the left, a come on, a come on!"
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:09, Reply)

I bet you don't like "Set you Free" by N-Trance either

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:17, Reply)

It's a little bit too scouse

(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:50, Reply)

You a fan of John Bishop?
I know it's nothing related to music, but just wondered?
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Pure, totally
I saw him about 8 years ago and he took the piss out of me so much that he lost his thread.
I love him.
(

Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:07, Reply)

do you remember Megablast by Bomb the Bass?

(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Nice
He's going to be doing a few live specials in Manchester, you can try to get free tickets if you go to this site here
(

Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I think you should throw in some Whigfield
Play "Saturday Night" but tell them you're doing it "ironically." (Preferably doing the inverted-commas-finger gesture as you say it.) They'll love it, and it will be another step forward for my long-running experiment to prove irrefutably that Shoreditch has a majority population of pretentious cunts.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

but on the banging bit from my Red Squirrel / Grey Squirrel stuff
it needs to get into clubs
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I drove halfway to work
Before realising I'd left my security badge/tag at home.
Couldn't be arsed to return home, so am just going to tailgate people through doors all day.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Make sure you get your penis right in between their buttocks each time

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Thanks al
Will do!
*docks*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Uh yeah, sorry about that.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 9:48, Reply)

no work for me today
so on the sofa chilling out, very nice it is too.

edit: I have croissants for breakfast too hehehe
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Me too
but minus the croissants - dodgy stomach so it's diet coke for breakfast.
(

chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

well technically
breakfast was 2 cups of coffee, a cherry diet coke and 2 rollups.

no excuse for not being awake now!
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 11:09, Reply)

It was a pleasant journey to work through leafy lanes
right up until I drove through some deer guts that had been freshly mangled this morning.
So glad I don't do my own car maintenance any more
(

M o D, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:36, Reply)

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