I'm off on my holiday in 3 1/2 weeks.
I had planned on losing some weight for the trip but I can't seem to muster the willpower.

Everyone needs to remind me what a sad old loney cunt I am and then I might get depressed enought to go off my food.

Help!
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 12:49, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is the post I was born to reply in.
/ac
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 12:51, Reply)

but yeah lose weight it's good for your health
that should be enough motivation to get over your laziness.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I'm as fit as a butchers dog.
I just need to stop drinking and eating so much. I'm only after losing a few pounds.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

I'm unfit and fat.
Unmotivated and hung up.

We can be miserable together.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Gutted (both of you).

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be miserable with : )

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I still can't believe I would have ratehr gone to the South of France
and drink gin, rather than grope your breasts.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)

We all make mistakes hon.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Especially forgetful corvids.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

He'll have to give them
a jiggle at the October bash instead. I'm sure they'll be worth the wait :)
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I'll hold him to that once I get drunk enough.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Hold me to your bosom?
I like where this is going...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Exactly: corvids, not loxodontids
A crow would know, but it's an elephant that's supposed to remember stuff. And I'm no elephant.

But would anyone like to see my elephant impression since I'm here?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:27, Reply)

Gwan!

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)

*stands on table*
*turns out pockets*
*unzips fly*
*colleagues are disturbed*
*crow is bundled into a white van and taken away to be sectioned under the mental health act*
*but crow still has his cock out*
*registrar is not impressed*
*crow is locked up*
*'little crow' is zipped up*
*crow runs out of ideas*
*EMERGENCY CHARLESTON*
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:30, Reply)

I'm interested to see
this eyebrow thing you do. I'm sure I could beat it...
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:30, Reply)

That sounds like a challenge
(You realise, if you do have superior eyebrow skillz, I will have to do the elephant impression to recover my shattered dignity)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Flopping your cock out
will restore your dignity?
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

*thinks it through*
Hmm...actually...

Maybe if I were to paint it as per the Union Jack?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Or maybe a barber's pole?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Ahahahaha
^ this. Crow, you're on.
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Aesthetically quite pleasing
Although I wouldn't want people to mistake it for a stick of rock.

Perhaps I should shelve the paint and just go for Hitlerpubes.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Why not?
Some ladies might like to suck on a stick of rock...

If you paint "Blackpool" around your bell end, you're in there!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

You *wouldn't* want
people to mistake it for a stick of rock! You're still not thinking this through. What do people do with sticks of rock?

EDIT - wait, now it sounds like I'm offering you a blow job if you win the eyebrow-off. hastily backtracks...
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Try and bite the end off.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Eek
you must have teeth of steel, man!
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

*shakes head*
Only a woman could have written that reply.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

I suspect
that the first suck would put paid to any notions that it was a stick of rock.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

How do you know?
You've never tasted it!

*dangles suggestively*
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

I've tasted rock though
And although I've never tasted cock, I've smelt mine, and it doesn't smell sweet...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:48, Reply)

Sounds like someone needs a wash...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Careful
There's a difference between fresh and sweet!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

True.
If cock tasted like chupa-chups though, I'd be giving head a lot more often.
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:52, Reply)

What if it tasted like Lyon's Golden Syrup?
Purely hypothetically, you understand...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:53, Reply)

Too sickly
Sorry. I'm more of a nutella girl myself.
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

*sighs*
Do you know how awkward it is to wash this stuff off your bell-end?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:03, Reply)

Easier than it is to get it out of your pubes, I suspect.

(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I sense a business opportunity here!

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:55, Reply)

Still continuing
on the flopping-out theme though, isn't it? Painted or otherwise...
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I think that someone should draw a pic of light in chains on his cock.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Would there be enough room?

(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

^ POTD

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Oh yes, the Bath Bulemia diet.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Who was the other guy commenting on that thread?
I assume he was a b3tan...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Just go for walks and stuff.
Although I should be going for a walk now but it's around 26c and I think I'd die
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Lucky you
It's pissing rain and about 15°C here.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Only a sad, old, lonely cunt would start a thread this boring

( Captain V, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 12:58, Reply)

You've hit the nail on the head.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 12:59, Reply)

I saw a fox on my way home last night

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I saw one round here during my 4am breat pump run
Wasn't near enough to the house though.
( Captain V, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

You use a breast pump?
Freak!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Wouldn't it be more fun
to suck and spit?

Edit - before anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm talking about collecting breast milk here.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Which makes it sound like a perverted hybrid of breastfeeding and wine tasting.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:32, Reply)

If you don't lose that fat
you'll be lonely and sad forever!!! This is your last chance to find someone who finds you attractive!!! And if you...

Sorry, I can't do it. I think you look great as you are. I can't help.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:01, Reply)

haha!
I just want to look ok in a swimming costume.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Walk around the house in your swim suit
And keep looking in the mirror. If you don't like what you see, it may be motivation enough to eat a bit less.

If you do like what you see, you haven't got a problem.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Not liking what I see is easy.
Doing something about it is less so. I have a skinny blouse pic on my facebook profile and that isn't even helping.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Post a really fat one then
And wait for the 'you fat bastard' comments.

Or maybe people don't do that on facebook? Maybe it's just here.

You fat bastard.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I rip up all the fat bastard pics.
This was pre-digital photography obviously.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I've kept mine
as a reminder not to get like that again.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Yeah
I've gotten rid of all my fat clothes and now have a wardrobe full of lovely smaller stuff. If I do get fat again, I'm going to be really fucked off.
(berk, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Fuck what anyone else thinks.
If you wanna whore it up in a safe way, go ahead, it's not like Pablo or Mustifa gives a shit, all he's looking for is a tourest-bird to pay for him to get some free drinks and maybe sort him out with.... actually, that's probably the trouble with the EU, everyone is free to go where they want now, so you don't get any locals looking for a nice English bird to get them into the UK. It was easy pickings for a nice girl or guy with a burgandy passport to get their leg over the local totty. Damn you EU, DAMN YOU TO HELL.

...... I don't know where I was going with this, but I've written it now.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I'm no Shirley Valentine.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:06, Reply)

STEP AWAY FROM THE CAKE, FATTY

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Anyone who can't give up cake of all foods
deserves diabetes.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)

diabetes fail
And cake is one of the food groups. FACT.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Cake is for birthdays, that's it.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:34, Reply)

True
but eating it doesn't give you diabetes.


All things in moderation and all that.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Overindulgence in sugars
can lead to the development of diabetes. It doesn't 'give you' the disease, but it can be a contributory factor to its onset.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

That's basically my point,
obese people with high sugar diets are pretty lucky if they don't get diabetes.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Only in the case of Type 2 diabetes
And all the publicity about Type 2, while great for an increasingly overweight population does nothing to help those who suffer with Type 1 which is far more dangerous and is an auto-immune disease. Nothing can prevent Type 1.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

This is true.
But surely it's better to avoid the possibility of Type 2, if you are currently healthy.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:40, Reply)

True
but there is a genetic predisposition.

And I'm in the mood for a rant.

:)

Ignore me, I need to lie down in a darkened room.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:42, Reply)

And B3ta is not the place of me to kick off on this one
Someone will get hurt...probably me.

Bring on the Waaaaaaaaaaaaaambulance!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Stop getting so waahhh
I never said people with diabetes deserve it, just people who eat to much fatty and sugary foods deserve it, and even then I wasn't being serious, I sit opposite a diabetic, diabetic nurse (if you see what I mean) I know how shit a disease it is.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

I'm not trying to start a fight
Just pointing out that it's better to do what you can to prevent disease, whether you are genetically predisposed to it or not. It applies equally to heart disease, cancer, or any other condition in which lifestyle plays a part in determining the risks.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Additionally
recent studies have shown that there is probably some sort of auto-immune link to Type 2 as well.
It's very easy to simply say, You're diabetic, it's your fault.
And there are plenty of slim Type 2s.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

It should be....
STEP AWAY FROM THE CHEESE, FATTY.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Eat all the cheese you want, but if that's they way you want to go then
STEP AWAY FROM THE CARBS OR YOU'LL FUCK IT UP

/too many colleagues on the Atkins blog
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:24, Reply)

What was really depressing were the changing room mirrors in clothes shops.
They're obviously made to make you look slimmer thus giving you an idea of what you could look like if you had the willpower.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Where you going anyway?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Kos.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Lovely, have a great time =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

Kos with me and the missus.
It'll be fabulous, daahling.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I'm starting to stress about work while I'm gone.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I'm not.
Work can fuck off atm.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Woh', the three of you? Where's the love for meeeee ?
Not that I could go, given the current politico-eco-climate, stocks and shares taking a tumble, but still....
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:08, Reply)

*shakes fist at current fiscal downturn*

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:09, Reply)

There is another solution
Go to the USA on holiday.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Been there.
Didn't see all that many heffers.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

You obviously weren't looking then!
If you go to a bit that's not full of British tourists, (i.e. not Florida) then you'll see more than your fair share of fatties. Parts of California are odd. Half the population seem to be like Barbie and Ken, but the other half are grossly obese.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I was in Virginia.
There weren't many tourists around and I was quite surprised how healthy everyone looked.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

I must admit
I've only been in Virginia briefly, and didn't really stop. So I can't comment. Try LA next time.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

MTFU
losing weight is easy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Not when you only want to lose a few pounds and you think fuck it, it's not like you're doing it to get laid but just to look better in a swimsuit.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Do it to get laid then
It's all about motivation. It's really not difficult, once you get into the right frame of mind.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:41, Reply)

cut out the booze, watch your calorie intake and lay off the fats for a while
and it will happen.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:43, Reply)

It's all about mind over matter.
I've done it before, just having difficulty now.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Remember to trim away all those pesky 'spiders legs'
You could lose the weight, get on the beach, crash about in the surf like a sexy dolphin then realise you've got a muff like Bob Carolgees with an afro.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:45, Reply)

At least that would stop folk looking at her belly
They'd all be too busy staring at her minge.

Extra points for the Bob Carolgees analogy, BTW.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

I have totally stalled
between 13st 2lb and 13st 5lb. I'm going to need a week of being properly careful about what I eat and really pushing myself at the gym.

And it's always next week.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:46, Reply)

Working out
is likely not to make you lighter. Muscle is heavy stuff compared to fat.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

This is why I don't weight myself anymore.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:06, Reply)

that's what I keep telling myself
but it's been 5 months, I should be The Incredible Hulk by now.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I got down to 13st 7 or 8 and stalled for a while
last couple of weeks I've dropped another 3 or 4 pounds for some reason. extra surfing probably.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:49, Reply)

If you can pay the local bakery to forge croissants out of celery

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:50, Reply)

100th reply!!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:56, Reply)

I miss Kaol
He'd be deleting one of his sacrificial posts now to make you look stupid!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 13:58, Reply)

I want to make sweet, sweet, beautiful love to you, BGB

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Wouldn't you rather roger me sensless?

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:17, Reply)

I guess that would be safer
You're less likely to report me to the police if you're completely senseless
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I wouldn't report you to the police.
I deserve all I get because I've been a very naughty girl.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Me too
Let's fuck like animals
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:39, Reply)

RAWR!

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:44, Reply)

What kind of animal?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Iguanas.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Fair enough.
I would do it like a Bonobo Monkey, the randy humpers.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 19 Jul 2010, 15:01, Reply)