b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 822836 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

What law would you introduce if you had the power?
Alt Q: what law would you change if you had the power?
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 11:55, 125 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I don't know. But it would be dead good and I'd be dead popular for making this new law.
Alt Q to the Alt Q:

Anyone watch that 'Madness on the motorway' programme last night?

My god that was compelling.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
What happened?

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
Some Swedish twins tried to top themselves by playing with traffic on the M6
It's on the iPlayer (actually called Madness in the fast lane) and was shown last night at about ten-thirty.

Well worth a watch. Especially if you like your women every so slightly mental.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
It's been on a few times
Them doris' were proper unnerving.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
This was a follow-up
A 'what happened next' type thing, making it quite interesting.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Women running onto the M6
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
Suggs played an impromptu gig.

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
unfortunately he didn't get run over

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
this gets asked
in every single law interview!
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:04, Reply)
I'm just bored of the other threads I really have nothing to input so
thought I would try something new. What were your answers?
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
She flashed her breasts at the interviewer
and then started singing "What! What! (in the Butt)" by Samwell.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:06, Reply)
That's how I got my job.

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)

job ASBO
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:15, Reply)
I did a little office lol then and had to turn it into a cough
no one bought it.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)
Oh god I'd forgotten that horrific song

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:31, Reply)
something vague about
an update to the landlord and tenant act 1954. don't ask!
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)
I don't think I need to answer this

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)
please do? just so my thread isn't totally spasticated!

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:15, Reply)
I'd like marijuana legalised
can't think of a new law though...
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)
I don't want that. Then I wouldn't make any money off of it. And they would tax it to fuck.

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
it'd probably be about the same price
as it's expensive because of the illegality.

would make me enjoy it more outside.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:20, Reply)
That's true about the outside thing. I can't remember
the last time I got hassled for smoking hoody outside.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)
just things like at festivals
having to be a bit sly as the fuzz tend to wander about amongst the tents.

we chose an excellent spot at Soniphere though.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:24, Reply)
I'd raise the abortion 'deadline',
as in, how far along it's developed whereupon you can no long abort it, to 18 years after birth.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
^25 to be on the safe side

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:20, Reply)
why only 18?

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)
Yes!
Safe!
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)
My friends just emailed me to see if I want to interview to be on bargain hunt.
I am a bit tempted.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)
you should totally do it

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
Maybe, I'll discuss it in the pub.

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
you mean you'll go up to strangers and tell them you'll be on TV
in the hope that they'll let you sit with them.





They won't.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)
Leave me alone kitty, I'm not going to sleep with you.

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)
you mean you don't fancy me?
Stop giving off mixed signals, geez!
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)
He fancies you
And Applebite, and wouldn't say no to rachelswipe.
There are undoubtedly more.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)
No one says no to Rachelswipe

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:33, Reply)
It's the LAW

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:33, Reply)
^ i like this A LOT ^
in fact, this will be my new law.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)
haha like Sharia law
YOU WILL OBEY THE RACHELAW
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
do it do it do it!
I just had a rant because a scrolling breaking news bar came up to tell me Cheryl Cole has a new haircut. Oh the anger!
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
Leftover Lolly.
Tsk.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)
New law = ban chuggers.
Change the law - raise the age you can buy cigarettes by a year every year so hardly anyone in the next generation smokes. (Says a 30 a day smoker who wishes they could quit).
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:20, Reply)
but if you do that we'd end up with a generation that looks much less cool

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)
insert *end*

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:22, Reply)
cheers
I've done that sort of thing several times today
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:24, Reply)
inserted your end in things?
I am shocked.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)

shocked jealous, yet aroused.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)
so true

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)
you boys know me so well
know in the biblical sense.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
if only that was the case

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
be patient
all good things come on those who wait.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)

wait buy me a goddamn boat
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)

buygive
+motor
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:51, Reply)
that I can do

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
I don't want no motorboat! There's no satisfaction in driving a motorboat
(I'm aware sailboats have motors)
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)
There's satisfaction in delivering one though

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)
so you can pretend you're a billionaire for the day?
I wouldn't mind doing that. I might become one of those yacht trotters. Bunch of slags.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Just in case
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)
it does seem like she didn't know what it is

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)
It felt like
W.A.N.K.F.A.C.E. all over again.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:45, Reply)
if I were a nastier person and didn't think that Kitty was smashing
then I would submit a jokey comment about why she didn't know what it was.

That is not the case though, so I won't.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:56, Reply)
And if I were a cunt
I'd pick up on what you allude to, and make a nasty Paint image to go along with it.

But I'm not a cunt.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 14:02, Reply)
Ban Cheggers
Unfunny twat.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Was thinking this as I was driving on the M1 this morning
All vehicles must drive in the left hand land at a minimum of 70mph under normal operating and weather conditions.
A minimum of 80mph in the middle land and 90mph in the right hand lane - these lanes are for overtaking only. Large vehicles and lorries should not be allowed in the outside lanes.
Nissan Micras to be banned from the motorway. Motorbikes get special permission to do wheelies.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:22, Reply)
I think just very strict enforcement of existing laws that say
if there is nothing in the lane to your left, you should move over.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)
I agree with this
also, less use of this light up temporary speed limit signs. I'm convinced that they cause traffic jams for no reason.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)
YES

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)
I like the ones that tell you how fast you're going with a sad face
If it's there for a while you can try and beat your high score.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:31, Reply)
There should be speed cameras which,
If they detect you speeding, catapult a child's corpse into your car. BOOM.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)
hahaha
those 30 ads really creep me the fuck out. I don't speed in 30 zones anyway though because I'm a conscientious driver.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
I'm the same
And get narky when others do.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
I'm more worried about hitting a kitty than a child though
children are kept on leashes, right?
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)
Not 'round my way they're not
Parents are big on the 'Free Range, Organic' children hippy schtick.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
I saw one on the M6 at the weekend
Telling me it was the end of a traffic jam. However, I could tell this from the fact that I WAS OUT OF THE TRAFFIC JAM.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)
you would probably find that the traffic jam was caused by someone leaving on the sign that said 40

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)
Either that, or just rubbish drivers
"I know, I'll drive RIGHT UP BEHIND the driver in front. This clearly won't go badly when they brake."
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
I hate when the train platform sign says "arrived"
NO IT FUCKING HASN'T OR I WOULD BE ON IT
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)
lol
railrage
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
I get well angry at trains
'we decided to cancel your train for an unexplained reason. Good luck getting home suckahs!'
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)
We get the opposite
They say it's going to be 20 minutes late, then you see it coming round the corner.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)
oh I wish that would happen
every journey would be like boooo...YAY!
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)
Not if you wander off for 20 minutes
Expecting your train to be late...
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)
oh yeah that's kind of annoying.
I arrived at the station last year to catch a train to the airport and I'd got the time 5 minutes wrong so I thought I'd missed it, but as we got to the platform it was still there because it was running late so we were about to dash on when the ticket guy demanded that we stop and get a ticket before boarding, so we implored that he let us get one on the train so we didn't miss it, but he refused so we had to stand and watch our train leave.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:51, Reply)
This
My first law would be to tax Rail Managers' salaries at 101%.

This would naturally increase annually at a rate of 1% over inflation except for those managers working for SouthEastern Fail who'd be taxed a further 3% to reflect investment in new services that are overpriced and go to the wrong London station which nobody wants.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)
New law - every British music act that wants to release an album, no matter how successful previously, have to send said album to me for approval first
Radio 1 will be forced to research semi-decent music and Zane Lowe will become Prime Minister

Alt law - hastily - make it OK for Kiwis to be Prime Minister of Great Britain or my prior prediction falls flat on its arse

Cos that's the only problem with it
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)
Zane Lowe is a dick
and your taste isn't good enough
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)
It obviously is
and apart from his bizarre ideas that Radiohead continued making music after OK Computer and that the Smashing Pumpkins are a band and not just a really bad practical joke on the part of some gay American record exectuives, Zane Lowe is a genius
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)
you are wrong
admittedly I haven't listened to his show much, but when I have, I have never ever heard him play anything good.

I used to watch a show he had on MTV (after the good presenter left) and he was shit on that too.

Smashing Pumpkins did some excellent and interesting stuff.

You are wrong.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)
Well done
You have officially entered the hallowed pantheon of People I Like But Have No Respect For The Opinions Of

The Smashing Pumpkins are and were a horrific blight on the name of American rock music

This is all the more bewildering given the preposterous amount of stuff we've previously agreed on

The apocalypse is upon us

Or you're winding me up
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
I appreciate that you might not like the Smashing Pumpkins
but they are significantly better than an awful lot of bands who have achieved success.

They might not be to your taste, but to say they are that bad is just laughable. They are good musicians, some of their stuff is pretentious, but that's not a crime they alone are guilty of, nor does it mean their music isn't good.

When it comes to rock bands, I tend to judge them on how interesting their stuff is, and how well they pull it off (hence my favourite being Tool). The Pumpkins make interesting music, and they do what they do well.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)
Not saying I'm the Pumpkins biggest fan by any means
but I really quite like a bunch of their stuff, and am merely saying that they aren't shit.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)
Saying the Pumpkins are pretentious is like saying Barcelona is quite pretty
I will defer to your superior knowledge of musicianship. However, would you not agree that more or less every Smashing Pumpkins song follows this exact sequence...

1. Riff kicks in. Interesting, let's see where they go with this
2. Ooh, these drums are quite tasty. This could be good
3. Billy Corgan starts "singing". And the song is completely ruined.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)
well, if you don't like his voice then that explains it
I have a higher tolerance for weird voices than most. See Bigelf.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:51, Reply)
I hate GnR for this
Asshole Rose's voice makes me want to rip his nails off.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)
Classic case of one man's preposterously overblown ego ruining a band
Fine, write all the music, write all the lyrics, but hire someone vaguely competent to sing them

Although in yet another example of why they're the worst band of all time, Oasis followed the above advice but hired someone totally inept
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)
there is that element of it
I like the songs enough to overlook it though.

If U2 still put out good music then I wouldn't mind so much that Bono is a complete and utter cuntbag, but their songs are so fucking awful that it just makes things worse.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)
I'm not putting the boot into U2
which, frankly, is as much as I dare say in this arena
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)
I fucking hate them
Vertigo and Elevation are two of the worst songs I've ever heard

She's Electric by Oasis is a better written song.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)
I like With Or Without You

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)
New Year's Day isn't bad
the only one they've done even remotely recently that isn't awful was that one from that Batman film
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)
I like that song
but there's no getting around the fact that they half-inched most of it from T-Rex' Children of the Revolution
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)
I'm annoyed I missed all this!
Zane Lowe is brilliant and Guns N roses were brilliant and Smashing Pumpkins were OK.

That is all.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)
Absolutely
It is in no way massively derivative and the lyrics are genius

*shakes head*
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)
I know how awful it is
that just sums up how much I hate those two U2 songs
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Actually
I think you'll find that they're both the same song.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:41, Reply)
Some fucking stupid woman
threw herself under one of our lorries on the M42 the other day.

It's such a fucking selfish thing to do as not only did it affect our driver, it messed up our entire delivery schedule and she didn't even have the fucking decency to die straight away so she sucked up some NHS funds before kicking it

I thought I was replying to something else.

My law would be if you are stupid enough to lolfailz at suicide then I am allowed to beat youwith a shoe until you die
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)
I support this law
it should also be televised
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:31, Reply)
I think this
if you're going to kill yourself, don't involve anyone else. Suicide is selfish enough as it is.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)
I dunno
If I ever decide to commit suicide it'll be someone's fault, most likely Michael McIntyre, so I'm going to do it very near to his face
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:33, Reply)
hello!
where's the bin?
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)
Under my desk, full of rubbish
That's where the bin is, not where I've been. Lovely appropriation of the Yorkshireism though. Takes me back :-)

Just really busy at the new job so haven't had much time to get online and insult people! How've you been keeping?
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
like a dead mouse behind the freezer where it's so cold that I can't decompose properly

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
oh, I mean, I'm fine, thanks.

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
Good to hear it
I want gossip

Give me gossip
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
Bert had a proper mental breakdown
Ed was found out.

Other than that, business as usual.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)
Erm, who's Ed?
And did Bert have a mental breakdown whilst online? Cos if not it doesn't count
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)
Ed = Edmund
Google Craig Colclough.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)
Have done
none the wiser
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)
He's a compulsive liar, if you read the news articles about him you'll see he's a proper mental
He was on here as Edmund a bit ago and apparently gazzed some ladies pictures of his phallus. Then he came back as EdsMeds, was found out again, then he was Medical Man or something, then he came back as JohnTheDane. Roota sniffed him out with her dodgy-activity-finding nose. She's also good at finding truffles I hear.

Bert posted badly shopped pictures of some of us (I was included, I feel special!), said he had problems and then asked to be banned.
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)
Bloody hell
Really?! I only vaguely remember JohnTheDane so am mostly unfussed but am almost worried about Bert. I appear to be feeling an emotion towards a fellow B3tan that isn't arousal. WTF?!
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)
He can fuck off and have his breakdown elsewhere

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:11, Reply)
Excellent, thank you Kitty
you have restored my personal balance with your trademark scathing mannerisms

Unfortunately for you I am now thinking filthy thoughts about you

Swings and roundabouts
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)
I've just notice /talk is having a sensible debate
what's happened to them?
(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)
I went on it last night briefly they are alright

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)
I like them.

(, Wed 11 Aug 2010, 15:02, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1