'Sausages of the World' by Monty Boyce

I'm considering a companion volume on mustards.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:27, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is a fantastic idea!
*I LIKE THIS*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I am deadly serious.
I've been thinking about it for years. I also considered writing a Roman army novel but there are millions of them and many of these are doubtless better than anything I could write.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Well if there are millions of them
Then the definitive one has yet to be written.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I suspect it won't be by me, sadly.
As a child I believed 'Eagle of the Ninth' by Susan Cooper to be the best, but there have been a number of excellent ones in recent years.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

man, I had to read that book when I was about 8
for the county book quiz. We won, but the book was DULL
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:31, Reply)

I would buy both of those
I fucking love sausages and mustard

I went to Exeter Sausage and Grill the other night. Some very fine sausages, a good selection of mustards, and some excellent homemade chutneys.

You'd love it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I hope you'll take me there one day.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

indeed I will
I just hope it can stay in business. It's opened on a cursed premises.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Chutney > Mustard.
There, I've said it.
(Cave Duck, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

You swine.
I do love chutney (my WI market mother is a champion preserver) but no fucking way is it better than mustard, you bounder.

There. I've refuted it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

they have their place
but I could do without chutney more easily than without mustard without a doubt.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Be sure to include this fine variety of skinless sausage in your tome
yankeepancake.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/dsc00539.jpg

Also, would it have a chapter or two dedicated to Black Pudding?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Of course it would!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Sausage Jockey.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

You have a most irksome habit of making me 'lol', young Jeffery.
Kindly desist forthwith.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Why don't you do a book about salt cellars?
I think you'd do that fantastically.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Now you are just being obtuse.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:10, Reply)

I thought you'd take that
As a condement!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:11, Reply)

*shakes head in disbelief*

You should be peppered with buckshot for that.

NOW I'M FUCKING DOING IT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Have I gone too far?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

'peppered'
Pfft.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:18, Reply)

asSAuLTed.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:20, Reply)

I find salt cellars to be quite erotic.
Reading a book on them would have me on the vinegar strokes in no time.
(Cave Duck, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:21, Reply)

To the Mayo Clinic with you.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I've developed an obsession with mustard
Yum.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Fox's Spices do make-your-own kits
in a myriad of styles, from Spicy Tomato and Country Garlic to more traditional ones. Easy to make and delicious.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I totally want that
you've mentioned it before
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

You can get a box set of about six packs. Brilliant.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I know a couple of people who'd love it as well
if I wasn't so fucking skint I'd order some.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Spicy tomato mustard?!
I love grainy stuff. Had it with everything in France.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:42, Reply)

much as I love all types of mustard
you simply cannot beat proper hot English mustard
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I've only had "proper hot English mustard" that was very old and tasted of petrol
My god I want welsh rarebit now
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Colmans English is great stuff
I like to feel it searing my nostrils
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Any mustard
that doesn't immediately remind one of its role in WW1 simply doesn't cut the, er, mustard with me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Agreed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

The Fox's ones are grainy -
unless you blend them, then they are smooth. I am a smooth man, so to speak, and favour the English and Germans over the French - in so many ways.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:49, Reply)

You're smooooooth as, sweetheart.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:50, Reply)

....as the north face of the Eiger, sadly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Or your scalp.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

the an g d


you're as smooth as a duck?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Was that really worth the effort?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 16:59, Reply)

it took more effort than you know
and it was very much not worth it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:04, Reply)

One learns as much, if not more,
from one's failures as from one's successes, I believe.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:09, Reply)

too true my friend

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

What about smooth Dijon mustard.
It's lovely.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:08, Reply)

It is.
But it's more like German mustard than most French. I do like 'La Favorite' as a French brand.
MmmmmmMMMMm
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I usually get Grey Poupon.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:16, Reply)

You can get treatment for that these days, you know.
There's no need to suffer in silence.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

You must include a chapter on the pork, sage and pepper sausages I had on saturday.
From my local farm shop.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:06, Reply)

A whole chapter?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

OK, a paragraph.
but the shop is worth a chapter. I raided it on saturday to fill my new freezer. My kitchen looked like Dennis Nilsen's bathroom for a while.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Do they do mail order?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Here's a link
www.evansbutchers.co.uk/
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Is it run by a chubby woman who lives on Albert Square?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:37, Reply)

No, by a bunch of butchers who.......
I see the connection now.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Are you anywhere near Leighton Buzzard?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Luton, about 8 miles east of Leighton Bastard.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:51, Reply)

My brother lives up there
so I visit reasonably frequently.

Perhaps a pint at a half way location, at some point?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 18:02, Reply)

I'd be honoured.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 20:10, Reply)

I bought some posh saussages from Marks on saturday.
I put them on a bed of onions in a ceramic dish, and put some blacksticks blue cheese on top.

The dish was 3/4 full of fat after an hour of cooking, I couldn't believe it, I poured out the fat and put it in some ciabatta, but the thought of all that fat, putting that inside me, made me feel well sick, and I couldn't get past more than 3 bites of the stuff. I couldn't even see the onions through the fat.

I'm not going to buy supermarket saussages again, rank.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Be more selective
The Black Farmer and Porkinsons are good brands, and not too fatty.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Porkinsons are especially nice, I think.
Their seasoning is superb.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I like the idea they were invented by Norman Parkinson the photographer.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:31, Reply)

As a veggie I'm unfamiliar with his sausages, but he does seem to have been a great character.

(Cave Duck, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:36, Reply)

I can't help feeling he shares a few genes with Monty.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:38, Reply)

I was going to say
'dear God, it's like looking into a mirror!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:40, Reply)

You can just imagine him telling Bowie to fuck off and get his picture taken by someone else.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:43, Reply)

'No I cannot 'do something about your eyes in post-production'
you insufferable oik'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:47, Reply)

...before he tragically invented Parkinson's disease*


*WARNING: may contain traces of lie.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:39, Reply)

I would have thought Marks'n'Sparks ones, their 'finest' or whatever it's called 'pork saussages' would have been good.
Sad Times.

I picked up some nice serloin stakes and some black bacon from the butchers, I can't wait to get my cooking around them, I think I'm gonna do a carbonara.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:33, Reply)

That sounds good.
I've got part of a casserole I cooked yesterday.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:36, Reply)

damn it
I want sausages and mustard RIGHT NOW
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 17:32, Reply)

my mother gets some pork, chilli and chocolate sausages from a local butcher
fucking amazing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 18:04, Reply)

Ohh they sound excellent.
*notes down for 'the book*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 18:09, Reply)