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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Right. Seeing as Porkles has RUINED THE INTERNET
by not asking a question, and with the inherent shitness of both his threads, I would like to ask:

How would you least like to die?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:44, 234 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
drowning, fire or death by torture
basically anything that involves a large amount of pain
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)
yep drowning has to be one of the worst - just the thought of it makes me feel ill.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)
From what i've read
of testimonies of people who have been revived from nearly drowning, is that it is a very calming and pleasant experience, after the terror of course. Back to the womb i suppose.

Worst way to go? Riddled with cancer and pain or at the hands of a crazed killer over a period of days.

Starving to death would be pretty horrendous as well i expect.


*goes for kebab*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)
Buried alive has to be one of the worst as well

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
Sailors who nearly drown in a cold sea often describe no pain at all.
The starving suffer less than you may think because the brain is shutting down and you are unaware of the pain.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)
yeah I've read that the last stage of drowning is quite pleasant
as the brain shuts down calmly as though going to sleep. How they know this I'm unsure.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:10, Reply)
sober

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)
This is a good answer!
Sensible answer for me:
Drowning, fire

Non-sensible answer:
Vanessa Feltz
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)
In horrible long-term pain.
Or, under Jo Brand.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)
You'll die of cholera.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)
Under Jo Brand? Is she a source of contaminated water?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)
She is when she's in your kitchen.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)
You saw Jo Brand in my kitchen?
Maybe it's NOT Monglets who keeps eating everything then.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)
I'm pretty sure that I saw Miriam Margolyes in there the other week, that probably accounts for the Caramel bars.

(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)
Monty are you looking for suicide tips?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)
Quite the opposite, old boy.
I was hoping you'd tell me your deepest darkest fears so that when I break into your house and kill you this evening, I shall know how best to dispatch you.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:59, Reply)
sensible approach dear chap
got to make the most of these things
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
Ok well in that case
I don't want to die in an orgy with the Saturdays, the ginger out of girls aloud, claudia winkleman and Kate Silverton. And absolutely no marijuana to be present!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
Alone
I want to take a few people with me.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)
I have a totally irrational fear of being chopped up by a boats propellors.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)
You manitee

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)
There's no "I" in manatee
but there's "u" in cunt.
(TheColonel, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)
Thanks for the correction
I hope all your children have very small dicks, and that includes the girls.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
They do
Mine.
:)
(TheColonel, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)
Yarf

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:04, Reply)
so no waterskiing for you then?

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
Nah, that doesn't scare me
the boat is going away from you.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
yeah until something terrible happens!
what if it accidentally reverses over you whilst you're floundering in the water having fallen off?
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:59, Reply)
You are Kirsty McColl AICMFP.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)
Or possibly Fred Titmus' toes.

(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)
Eaten by a shark

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)
oh this. They scare me more than they should for someone who lives in a city centre

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
It's the idea of seeing one while you're swimming
and then losing sight of it and not knowing where it went and you could just be spinning round and round in the water looking for it and it could come up from underneath you.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:55, Reply)
Apparently, you're sposed to punch them on the nose becuase it disorients them.
I don't if this is true though.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
Not punch them, push them away by the nose,
they tend to bite things to see what they are, if they then bleed they'll eat you, so just push them away and they'll get bored.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
apparently shouting at them works
although this is difficult underwater
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:15, Reply)
"RAARRGLUG-GLUG-GLUGgaaaaaaaa"
*chokes and drowns*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:17, Reply)
better or worse than being eaten by a shark do you think?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
Better.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)
or go for the eyes

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:08, Reply)
While this might work for a small reef shark, the kind that wouldn't attack you anyway
it wouldn't work on anything large since a) they are too quick and would bite you before you could hit them and b) you couldn't get enough power into an underwater punch to upset them even if you did manage to get a lucky blow in.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)
It's really hard to punch underwater though
unless you're Angelina Jolie in the second tomb raider film
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)
Nothing like being circled by a shark:
Crazy surfer films a shark
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:04, Reply)
big balls

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:13, Reply)
I would die of fright
and it would probably get bored and swim off.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:12, Reply)
Sharks are a bunch of poofs, at least, all the ones I've dived with are.
Yeah', sure, you get the big huge fuckers who'll bite into you like a chewit, but I ain't ever been diving off the coast of alaska, and don't plan to any time soon.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)
Being eaten by a bear Tim Treadwell style.
They don't go for straight kills like a neck bite, preferring to rip your guts out and maul you whilst you're screaming in pain.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)
I just goolged Tim Treadwell
Jesus Christ, I hope I never hear the tape of them being torn apart by bears
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
I've seen the film/documentry "Grisly Man"
quite frankly i'm surprised he lasted as long as he did
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)
the way Dylan Moran died in Shaun of the Dead nearly made me vom

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:59, Reply)
Intestines everywhere

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
I was watching that the other day
I did a real life LOL when it happened.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:02, Reply)
I wonder how hard it is to actually rip off a limb.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
Want to try?
There's probably a medical paper that could be published from that.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:06, Reply)
I do.
Who shall we use as a victim test subject?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:08, Reply)
I'm sure we could find a willing 'test subject' around here
WANTED: Volunteer, not overly attached (ha) to their arms. Minimal pay, opportunity to become well known in medical circles.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)
We'd need more than one
If we wanted to determine the most efficient method using the least energy.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)
Very true
How could I make such an oversight. Saying that, each volunteer has two to offer...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)
Pretty hard
try ripping a piece of raw steak in half.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:10, Reply)
They used to have to attach a horse to each limb,
so four horse power?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)
There's a scene in Ichi The Killer where that question is asked
Quite funny
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)
The bloke was a fucking idiot.
he even led his girlfriend to her death.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:02, Reply)
Wrong
if you watch the extras, she survives.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
Alternative ending?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)
Don't think so.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
you must be thinking of his ex
who now holds the tape of them dying. nice.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)
Wiki does make him sound like a bellend

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:17, Reply)
she's stupid by proxy

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)
Torture
I can't stand watching it on TV, it really freaks me out.

Other than that, I would hate to be buried alive, the anticipation of running out of air would just be horrible. I want to die as quickly as possible.

Having said that, when I read about people dying from skydiving accidents it really freaks me out since I hated it so much myself. Diving, not dying obviously. I've gone all cold just thinking about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)
why are there
so many unpleasant ways to die? :( chances are I'm going to end up with one of them
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
It surprises me how imaginative film writers are with ways of people dying

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)
yeah
but then the thought strikes me. It must happen to some people, and I've got bad luck so it's probably going to be me
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)
I don't think many of the Final Destination deaths have happened
although I liked Stifler's death from the first one, where the bit of metal slices most of his head off.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)
It'd be quick at least

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
I loved the ending of that first one. Everyone's seen it right? If not *SPOILER ALERT!*
When the guy goes "well who's next?!" just as the sign smashes into him.

The bit where that bird walked in the road and the bus hit her made me jump a mile, I really wasn't expecting it.

The sunbed death from the third one freaked me out a bit, but I like the nailgun death.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)
I watched the third one on Valentine's day
In the big cinema in Liverpool. Alone.

Some funny deaths though! The 4th one has a guy having his intestines sucked out his ass as he drowns.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)
eww
how do they manage to write that in?!
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
It's truly a gross moment
Most memorable in the film I'd say.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)
The bit where the girl gets hit by the bus made me laugh my head off

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)
the french teahcer from the first final destination film is a particular favourite

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)
Mindpiss

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)
There are six million, according to dancehall legend Cutty Ranks.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
isn't that how many ways there are to leave your lover?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:02, Reply)
I know of only one:
'in a skip with the side of her head smashed in by a brick'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:04, Reply)
I'll remember that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:06, Reply)
uhoh

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)
you'll be safe ;-)

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)
+Rick

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)
did you see about that baby who woke up in a coffin during it's own funeral last week?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
that would shit me up
kids are scary at the best of times. I hate horror films where the bad guy is a child, proper freaky.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
poor poor kid
www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-mexico-baby-wakes-up-in-coffin,0,6958716.story
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:58, Reply)
fuck
at least it's ok now!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)
I know but can you imagine being 4 or 5.
I don't know a great deal about infant brain development (actually I know a little) but I doubt it will remember it.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
probably won't like coffins though

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:06, Reply)
Tickled to death by Monty.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
Slipping on a banana skin.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)
I would hate to die naked
or in a really embarrassing manner, like that nanny who wanked herself to death.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:55, Reply)
Who was that?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
I'll find the news link, wait there
EDIT: here's a link: jelly2188.blogspot.com/2010/07/nanny-30-died-from-sexual-arousal-while.html

I didn't want to google "nanny who died wanking" so it's not a real news site.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)
The Metro seem to have removed the story from their site
Sad times we live in.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
Or that Christian Whatshisname
From BBC daytime shows. Auto-erotic asphyxiation: what an awful way to go.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)
so many celebrities have died from that, you'd think they wouldn't risk it
David Carradine, that INXS guy
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)
If I may quote GLC;
"Michael Hutchence, he's one of them too, made a hundred million quid dying wanking on the loo"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:04, Reply)
To be honest
I'm not sure why anyone does it anyway. The 'asphyxiation' bit in the name gives away that it might be a bad idea.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
I just think it would be safer to have someone else choke you whilst you were doing that.

(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
Getting stabbed by sharp objects
would be the most horrendous thing ever. The initial excruciating "this is not normal" pain. The knowledge that your internal organs have been hideously damaged, and then the slow and agonizing bleed out.

Ahem, good old cheery Wednesday.
(I helped save b3ta! whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)
Bring buried alive
Or being burned alive. The smell of roasting flesh would either make me go mad, or make me hungry. I wouldn't want to die hungry.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
dick

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)
choking on it or being poked repeatedly?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)
either would be pretty bad
not good for your posthumous reputation either
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:59, Reply)
I knew a guy who was dicked to death
not nice
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)
I'm not sure I want to ask for more information about this....

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
Being hung drawn and quartered.
Or burnt at a stake.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:59, Reply)
I see you're still rocking the medieval theme
castle yesterday, draconian torture death today.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)
I do enjoy the medieval thing. Tomorrow will be smallpox and cholera.
Beheading would probably have been the best way to be executed, though the anticipation would have be horrible.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
Hot irons up the arse
would be worse.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
poor old Edward

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:10, Reply)
Everytime I think about it
I get a shudder.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
You totally would have been, back in the day
Unless someone came to rescue you.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)
Are you offering your services?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:06, Reply)
Shall we call AA
to engage the Pandatron?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
The Pandatron that I made, and have subsequently retired?

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:08, Reply)
It's now AA's Pandatron
He's the one that engages it.

Edit: I didn't know you made it. Well done.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:10, Reply)
Yes, AA often engages the Pandatron...

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)
But of course, noble lady!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:08, Reply)
Oh kind sir!
One can always count on thy honour and chivalry!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:12, Reply)
As surely as day follows night,
My lady.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)
I think with the hanging, drawn and quartering
they were usually merciful enough to ensure you were dead before the really grisly bit started
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
I don't think you're right.
They cut you down before you died from hanging, and sliced open your stomach and 'drew' out your innards whilst you were still alive to see it happen.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)
that was what was supposed to happen
but apparantly to be merciful, unless you were a real bastard they'd usually kill you just beforehand.

Edit: did some quick research. Seems like you're right most of the time the sentence was carried out properly. But there is a sizable minority where that small mercy was shown
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)
Yep
Then they dipped your innards in hot pitch and PUT THEM BACK inside you, before you were quartered. Head displayed on *mumblecough* bridge in London, rest of the bits scattered across the country.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:31, Reply)
Would you rather be stoned?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
If I was going to be executed,
I think I would like to be off my face, yes.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:10, Reply)
Right,
Have I had it wrong again?

Stonned? Stoned? Both sound the same, don't they?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:12, Reply)
No, don't worry, they're spelt the same way as well
I was just being awkward :)
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
Anything that's prolonged
or hurts more than can be dealt with by taking a couple of ibuprofen.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)
I'll probably die of Alzheimer
I don't know if I want it to happen, as I won't feel or understand that I'm dying; or if I'll hate it, as I want to know what's going on, and the years until you lose your mind, you know what's going to be of you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
Actually, this
I'm all for euthanasia instead of mindlessly drooling out my last few years unable to recognise my family. My nana is 97 and she has no fucking idea who I am or what's going on - what kind of life is that for anyone? Fuck that. I'd rather be dead.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:08, Reply)
Mine died of it
And her last 3 years were as if she wasn't there at all. But the 3 years before that she'd go from "I'll be fine, don't worry about me" to "Oh, what's going to be of me! I'm going to end up forgetting everything!" to "And who are you again?"

Awful.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
I'd quite like to go by alzheimers, because at least you wouldn't see it coming
unlike buses
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
Well, you do
From the moment you're diagnosed until you lose your mind (and it can take years and years) you know what's going to happen, and you know you're going to forget everything and everybody. It's very sad.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)
in that case I'll stick with the buses

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:26, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:05, Reply)
I Love That.

(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:12, Reply)
Sheriff of Nottingham LOL

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
to be a little serious
I don't mind how I die as long as I'm not scared. I really want to have my wits about me when I do fuck off to hades. I want to be able to have a little time to reflect and think of people that made me happy. And think of bastards who I outlived (Monty)
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:07, Reply)
Right.
I have a quite irrational fear of the sea. I mean, I like paddling and things, but if I swim out to the buoys - you know, where (in the UK, at least), you can't see the bottom any more - then I become a gibbering wreck. I am convinced that some kind of vast monster will leap up from the depths and gobble me up and that will be the end of me.

So, my worst nightmare? Being in a plane crash in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, bobbing about in my life vest and then being eaten by the Kraken. Or a Whale. Or an as-yet-undiscovered-terrible-creature.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:11, Reply)
I'm a bit like that.
But only when there's seaweed or rocks and stuff too close underneath me as I'm swimming.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
my mrs is like that
can't stand seaweed and stuff because things might come out of it...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)
I love the sea
and seaweed. It smells awesome and feels like fetish wear.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:17, Reply)
You have a kelp fetish?

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
Actually
if you were on a passenger plane that crashed in mid Atlantic, the chances of surviving the initial impact are minimal. So you wouldn't have to suffer death-by-Kraken.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
I'd make sure you check the flight paths then,
to avoid overflying R'lyeh.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
Zombies
Or falling out of a plane. I'm fucking terrified of heights as it is, the last thing I ever want is to have my death rushing up at me from 30,000 feet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:14, Reply)
what about
being stuck on a plane of zombies and the only way out is at night with a parachute over the sea?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:16, Reply)
Depends
Have I got a gun?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)
No
you have a torch, a first aid kit, a pipe bomb, and there is a crowbar lying around.

I did play left 4 dead last night and watch Dawn of the Dead
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:22, Reply)
Hmm
How many zombies?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:27, Reply)
Did you ever watch the video
of that guy whose parachute failed to open? He was a qualified skydiver I think, so had a video attached to his helmet. He survived, insanely enough, but the video is fucking terrifying.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:18, Reply)
is it the guy
who lands in scrubby bush and his mate is filming it on a camcorder and legs it over. If so then yes. Poor fucker.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
Hang on...
he had a camera on his helmet and filmed himself ending in scrubby bush?

Surely some innuendo there?
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:20, Reply)
Yeah
Michael Holmes his name is. You see him wave bye to the camera, and the ground approaching really fucking fast.I liked the bit where you could hear his mate land and start shouting 'mate, where are you, are you ok?' and the guy just goes 'NO!'
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:22, Reply)
that's the one
I wonder if he ever jumped again.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:23, Reply)
I'm glad I did not see this before my dive.
There would have been claw marks all the way down the side of the car after people had tried to drag me out.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)
I think I'd actually have a heart attack if I watched that
Excellent Minchin by the way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:20, Reply)
Oh!
I've got another one. Ebola, or Marburg or any of the viral haemorrhagic fevers.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)
Or being bitten by that fly
that puts eggs inside your flesh, and when they hatch, they eat you alive, slowly.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:28, Reply)
Is that the Bott fly?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
It seems so
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Botfly
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
At least that's quick,
something like MS would be worse, goes on for years until you drown in your own body.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:29, Reply)
Curiousity
I'd love to see what would happen if you fed someone loads of butter and popcorn seeds and electrocuted them.

If I was ever given 'the chair' butter and popcorn seeds would be my last meal.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:20, Reply)
They'd die of electrocution
The current required to kill someone is a lot less than that required to cook the whole body!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:21, Reply)
Up the ampage then.
Simples.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:25, Reply)
I went to a safety trainning course
for this new job in Runcorn. They work with 100% pure HF here.

A drop the size of a quarter of your palm (around 10ml) on your skin, will be absorbed to your blood, and will pass to your bones. The HF combines with the Calcium in your bones, destroying them. In half an hour, it can destroy the bones of a male adult. Once it's in your blood, there's nothing you can do to stop it.

That's something I don't want to try.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:30, Reply)
HF?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:32, Reply)
hydrofluoric acid?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)
Yes, that one
Even when very diluted it'll burn your skin and the vapours can make you blind. It's nice stuff.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)
"the vapours can make you blind"
Turning Japanese?
(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)
Why?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)
Sorry Aberracion - It's a rather poor music related gag.
A band called The Vapors had a song in the 80s called Turning Japanese which was (supposedly) about wanking and according to the old myth wanking makes you go blind.
(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)
Ah!
I know the song. I didn't know it was the Vapors, that's what got me confused. I didn't know it was about wanking, I thought it was about travelling.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
I've got something special lined up for you
If you're mean to me, it gets unleashed.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)
You, boys, you
You're talking riddles to me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)
Clendrix and Al have been horrible to me
Always threatening violence. I have something lined up to get revenge, if they don't change their ways.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:12, Reply)
Hydrofluoric acid
Some info:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrofluoric_acid
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)
Oh yeah, I've worked with it before.
Never at that concentration though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
The safety video was very scary
They showed us pictures of burns of HF at lower concentrations, and you could see the deformed bones throug the holes on the skin.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
No, a couple of drops on a hankie is usually enough.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)
Oh there was a QOTW answer about an accident with HF
Made me very very scared.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
Suffocated by Susan Boyle sitting on my face

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)
How likely is this to happen?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
Not very
So I will live forever
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)
By going to a job interview and it going really well and waiting for the call back with the wages and things and thinking it's going to be at least twice what I've ever earnt before !!!!!!
OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:51, Reply)
Good luck

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
Cheers =D

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)
Gonz are you ignoring the question to share good news?
... I'm willing to allow it

Well done
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
Awesome !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)
Nice one!
All the best :)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
=D

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)
good luck gonz
what's the job?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)
It's hard to describe, except as a "Buisness Farm".
They grow little buisnesses and sale them on, all these buisnesses need websites.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:05, Reply)
I get what you mean
sounds like it'd be a good job.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)
Good luck that man
Sounds tres good.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)
Deffo, and I got to wear a suite !±

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Always a plus
I'm still waiting for a reason to wear my new suit.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)
GOOD LUCK, GOOD LUCK, GOOD LUCK, GOOD LUCK, GOOD LUCK, GOOD LUCK, GOOD LUCK, GOOD LUCK,
Oh, yes, and before I forget:

GOOD LUCK
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)
=DDD

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)
well done bro
have you been to the cafe?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)
oh, yes
Have you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

nah I'm not hungry ta x
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)
did you have lunch already?
or are you anorexic?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)
nipped off home for a sneaky spliff
plus the sandwich lady had hot sausage rolls earlier so had two!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:18, Reply)
I haven't had a chance too, been working non stop =(
I've got a day off tomorow, I'll go there for breakfast =D
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:11, Reply)
Best of luck my internet friend
Hopefully the roll continues.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)
Everything's looking up at the moment.
I even emailed an animal shelter about volentering !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)
good lad
you've got to speculate to accumulate!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)
go and ask that bird out.
NOW.
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)
He should probably wait for the phone call,
he doesn't want to miss it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)
Breakfast tomo ! I'm on a roll now !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Good luck!!
Hope you get it :)
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)
Thank's !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)
That would be a rather slow way to die, I suppose.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)
*Replying because I don't want you to feel left out*

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:16, Reply)
You're all heart.
Hope you get the job, by the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)
Cheers dude =D

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
Yay Gonz yay!

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)
GO GO 1UP LIFE !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)
Best of luck gonz
I'm another sea/shark one. I won't even get in a swimming pool as you never know when they'll open a vent and a snappy bastard will swim out to eat people.
(I helped save b3ta! fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:17, Reply)
I want to send you a link to a pic but the sites banned NSFW
I may do it later.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:19, Reply)
Is it a picture of a big penis
That you're going to claim is yours?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:19, Reply)
God no,
But it might scare her a little which is always fun.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)
I hear great white sharks can come through the shower head now.
I could sell you a filter if you want. I've been using it for 26 years, never once has a shark came through the tap during that time. $99.99, special introductory offer.

Thanks =D
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

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