I am so angry
If people thought I was angry earlier in the week I have surpassed that anger by eight or nine times.

Everyone where I work is a useless monggoose who need to be repeatedly punched in the front wong by the cast of The Expendables
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:34, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ohhh Jason Statham would so get it.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)

He would BREAK you.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)

I know!
It would be amazing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

You want it like that blonde in Crank

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

in front of 100 people in a market place?
I don't think so. I just want him to throw me around the bedroom like a ragdoll.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

You're so crass.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Sorry, I meant 'make sweet love to me on a bed of rose petals'.
NOT REALLY, I WANT HIM TO BANG ME UNTIL IT BREAKS OFF
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I like crass, just using your words against you :p
I wish you well in your endeavours.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Thanks, I'll let you know when it happes.
Possibly with blow-by-blow (haha) photos.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Appreciated

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:52, Reply)

There were some people asking me at work over the weekend if I've ever punched a girl.
My reaction was like 'what?', and they go, "You know, when you're doing her *action of pushing head into groin* and then you're like *punching action* URH URH URH *punching action* and then Urhhhhhhhh all over her face and then *moving her head away from grown followed by really hard punch*, you ever done that?".

I didn't really know what to say to that, I was going to say "Don't you have a sister? What would you do if someone did that to her?", but I stopped myself. I think I'd firebomb them in their car if they did that to someone I loved, or something like that.

I know angry sex can be hot, but that's just serious "=/".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)

I was asked by a girl to slap her hard while we had sex

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)

did you?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Yes
Not hard enough the first time, so she asked* me again.

It was my first time, and I was already nervous, anxious and worried.

*more demanded
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Where did she want slapping?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

In the face. Repeatedly
She then scratched the hell out of my back. I repeat, this was my first time...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Each to her own, I guess.
That's a bit much as far as I'm concerned, and certainly when it's not even been discussed. You can't spring weird shit on someone like that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)

It's like that weird person on QOTW
who liked to blindfold his partner the first time and then press a knife to them
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:05, Reply)

The first time?
Gawd, you'd cack yourself wouldn't you!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:05, Reply)

I would actually think I was being murdered.
Fight or flight would kick in.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Even reading it
made me intensely uneasy that there are people like that out in the world
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)

She sprung it
My first and last one-night-stand, but we stayed friends after. She was a scouser too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:05, Reply)

look, I'm sorry, ok!
I'm glad we've moved on though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

*flinches uncontrollably*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)

SUPPRISE POO ON CHEST !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

that sounds an ultra uncomfortable situation
especially for a first time. Was she always like that?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)

At the time I didn't know
Afterwards I found out she's quite into it. I wouldn't mind it now, but for my first time it was a bit much.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

did you think that's what all sex was like?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

No, I'd watched a LOT of porn before then
I knew hard slapping was not the norm.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

In the back of a ford cortina.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)

He said "Mum, I'm not comfortable with that kind of thing"

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

clicking this

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

as am I

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Don't be daft
I can't reach around to slap her when I'm bent over the kitchen table.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Of course he did
but unfortuately as she was inflatable his hand bounced off and he hit himself int he nose. That's why his nose is a funny shape
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Anti-Semite!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Oh yeah sorry I forgot how utterly Jewish you are

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I have the nose

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

There's quite a big difference between that and a punch though

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I agree with Chompy, online

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Why's everyone so suprised when they agree with me?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)

because you are an objectionable person

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Yes there is
And I wouldn't have punched her if she'd asked, the hard slap was on the cusp of what I was comfortable with doing.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I reckon that's quite different.
I donno if this bloke had done that, or if it was a fantasy, a couple of the other guys said that they have done that, but I'm giving them the benfit of doubt that they didn't actually do it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I don't think I could do that
if Wiggy asked me to really hurt him I don't think I'd be able to. I wonder if the girl was consenting in the above scenario. If someone punched me during sex I'd beat punch them in the balls.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)

beat punch?
Is that like boxercise to music?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

You made me laugh
out loud.
In work.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

Sssshhhh!
You're in a library!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)

I'm in the office, it's ok
But it was a pure mongy laugh. Like "Hnuuuuuuh"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)

And that just made me officesmirk

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)

haha whoops
I started to type 'beat the living shit out of them' but I'm probably not strong enough so I would just go for The Debilitator.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:16, Reply)

I'd just hate it if a girl walked away the next day feeling raped/abused, I'd rather go without than have someone regret what happened to the point of damaging her.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)

There's a (quite hilarious) gif online
Of a asian woman giving a blow job then just as the guy is about to come punching him really hard in the balls 3 or 4 times.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)

That sounds really funny
But now I feel bad that the idea of a man being seriously hurt makes me laugh, but if the situation were reversed I would be appalled by it.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

that's a bit weird
both the action and that they'd ask you that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

It's not your typical office enviroment, deffo.
I'll be outta there soon enough though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Would you give him one? Would you do him? What would you do if you saw him with two fully loaded bags from ASDA minding his own buisness waiting at the bus stop while you pass in your car?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)

hahaha I don't think it's possible to rape Jason Statham
I might stop and ask for him to punch the car though.

He's not on my list of 5 so I'm not allowed to jump him, even if I do see him outside Asda.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Who's on your list?
I hope you've been clever on this one and chosen someone you might come into contact with one day, rather than people who you've got no chance what-so-ever with.

I reckon what would be a good idea is a website or magazine artical where people ask celebs who would be in their list. I'd be interested to know, and the potential trouble it would cause could be great.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)

haha so bored celebrities can go on the site and see who wants to bang them?
My list is: Robert Downey-Junior, Ed Norton, Jared Leto, Hugh Laurie and Denzel Washington. I might trade Leto for Statham though.

I've only ever met Steven Seagal and he would never have been on the list. If I was going to be sensible I would have to put people like Jason Manford and Man U players on the list and that would just be downgrading from Wiggy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Yeh', it would be great for up-coming WAGs and footballers who'd get in on that, and then when they're actually famous and end up shagging someone (or accoused without), they'd get into trouble or something.
I reckon you're right about the footballers, you need someone with something upstairs always downstairs... kindda like going from a semi to a bungalow.

WIthout any serious thought, my list is.
- Nancy from Hollyoaks.
- Alyson Hannigan (ginger one from How I Meet Your Mother)
- My mate's mum (just to piss him off)
- [that british-chinese girl who does the cooking shows, forgot her name, I think her initials are 'CH' though]
- ....ermm.... not sure.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)

Wiggy gets a boner from Nancy too
And Alyson Hannigan, espesh when she was Willow.
He also wants to do Mary Louise Parker, Avril Lavigne and Michelle Trachtenburg.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)

Michelle Trachtenburg :S ?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Dawn from Buffy
She's lovely
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)

Isn't she jailbait in Buffy?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

yup
She's less so in Eurotrip, but she still has that child look like Ellen Page.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Doesn't she flash in Eurotrip?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:19, Reply)

that doesn't do it for me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Deffo those last two, I wasn't sure who M.T was, but after a google, she's deffo gets on the list (the lucky girl).
But Avril Lavign when she's alternative/emo/indi/skater, not when she's preppy. I love that "Damn cold night" song she does, in fact, that whole album is good.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)

Alyson Hannigan looks much nicer now
I've never given a full list any thought
off the top of my head
Bridget Regan
Tarbrett Bethell
Zooey Deschanel
Kelly Brook (as long as she doesn't talk)
*draws a blank*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:05, Reply)

Haven't heard of the first two

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

they're both in a tv show called Legend of the Seeker
orangeurchin.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/legend-of-the-seeker-season-2-wallpaper-11.jpg?w=500&h=375

not the ones who are men
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:12, Reply)

The blond yes

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

it's not the best photo of Bridget Regan to be honest
I am actually in love with her
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

"*draws a blank*" - Poor Vipros...Poorer women of the list =(
You tried a blue pill?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

:-P

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

For me
Devon Aoki
Summer Glau
Eliza Dushku
Gabrielle Union
Cameron Diaz
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I second Eliza Dushku and Summer Glau
and add:
Mila Kunis
Mariqueen Maandig (Trent Reznor's wife)
And this girl
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:19, Reply)

this girl is hawwt

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)

and wearing a Tool top
this adds points
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:24, Reply)

And she has such fine points

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Oh I know
AND she likes Tool and Metalocalypse!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Metalocalypse is awesome

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Without any serious thought, my list is:
Gudrun Ure
Floella Benjamin
The one-armed bird off of C-beebies
Su Pollard
Simon Weston
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:42, Reply)

is Gudrun Ure Supergran?
*don't want to Google*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Yes.
*tumesces*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:46, Reply)

can I have a seperate male/ female list?
or only 5 overall haha?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Seperate

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Quick Amberl! AA needs to fantasise about you having sex with five female celebrities!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Eliza Dushku
Michelle Rodrigeuez
Angelina Jolie
Jennifer Connelly
Rachel Weisz

Will that do?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:23, Reply)

I approve your list
very much
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:24, Reply)

I think AA is currently red faced and grunting.
Which is odd as I didn't think he would be awake yet.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Can you depict that lesbo orgy in an MS paint style?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

no
because I'd be the one sitting in the corner with a sad face
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

But you're pretty when you cry

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)

you cry I slap you repeatedly in the face while crying, masturbating and screaming the lords prayer.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:30, Reply)

I was at a wedding the other day
I had to stifle the giggles when the ceremony got to the Lord's Prayer. I had to refuse to explain them as well, lest some more sensitive guest overheard
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Haha MY WORK IS DONE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:43, Reply)

this happened :(
but that would be the most depressing thing to happen in an orgy ever, being the one who is sitting on the side playing sudoku
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)

I would rather watch an orgy of those 5 ladies
Than be here right now.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I wouldn't
I'd be too jealous. Or if I joined in, attempting to hide wobbly bits
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Just dive right in there

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Most of us like your 'wobbly bits'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:41, Reply)

I love that picture
and if you weren't happily loved up and with your girl liking days behind you, I'd let you know when the hot orgy of five fanciable filmstars was taking place
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:44, Reply)

We have similar taste
Not enough Zooey Deschanel though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:47, Reply)

She is rather tasty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I forgot about her
she is really pretty. Much more so than Katy Perry
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:48, Reply)

tru dat
which is why Roota will be joining me, my mrs, Bridget Regan and Zooey Deschanel when we have an orgy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Kitty-pout
In 3...2...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:51, Reply)

No, he wants her all to himself
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VIPROS ;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:53, Reply)

No need to shout!
I would also have accepted "But he said 'my mrs', therefore Kitty's included."
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)

absolutely ;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)

she knows she's top of the list and at the head of the queue ;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)

The Queue
is capitalised to emphasise it's importance.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:56, Reply)

forgive me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 14:04, Reply)

I'm afraid Zooey is busy that night

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:51, Reply)

After all...
A lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)

I've never really 'got' the obsession with Angelina Jolie
There's only one time when I think about her like that, and that's in Tomb Raider, the bit where she's confronting a naked Daniel Craig. She looks at him, and raises an eyebrow in a naughty way, and she's sexy as fook.

Beyond that, I just don't see it
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I'd like to put forward the motion that you are in fact
a gargantuan queer
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)

^ this
Angelina Jolie is massively hot. Especially in Wanted
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)

I liked her when I first saw Hackers many years ago

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I remember that film
yes she was hot in that. She's hot in most things with occasional exceptions.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)

yeah

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)

I have that on DVD
She is hot in that, even with the short pixie haircut.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

There's another actress who I think looks similar to her in that
Only far hotter
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Hotlinking FAIL

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Fuck
Try this then
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:46, Reply)

she looks a bit like her
mainly the hair though. That bird looked better in Firefly I reckon.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Amen
Too boyish in AA's link.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)

She's hot in Wanted, Tomb Raider and even in Beowulf
She is incredibly sexy, but not when she looks emaciated like in some paparazzi shots.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)

That photoshoot of her drinking a bottle of whiskey and smoking
is pretty good 'n all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Not really
Seen as I have no idea what Amberl looks like, I just thought it'd be interesting to see someone looking at both sides
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)

well
the men list is below
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)

We share two points Kitty :)
Hugh Laurie and Ed Norton. Plus Christian Bale, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Tom Cruise
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)

Tom Cruise?!!
I hope that, if you get the chance, you fuck him with a chisel.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)

not now
back in Top Gun days
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:36, Reply)

what's a front wong?
is it oriental in some way?
( ascorbate, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

It's my new euphemism for groin

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)

ah
that makes a bit more sense.
( ascorbate, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Is that because yours is as big as china?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Be kind now Al
It's only as big as a single province.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Yes Al

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post838048
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

You sounds well vexed.
Innit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I think puppies would cheer me up
either the canine kind or the clendrix kind
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I'll check my little black book
And see what puppies I can put you in touch with.

Do you suffer from puppy racism? Or are you happy with any breed?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I don't like those stupid small rat dogs people carry in bags

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Flicks through the little black book
But skips past the letter 'c'...

How about a chocolate lab? It's a bit stupid, quite playful and is house trained? He answers to the name of Honda
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)

That is an awesome name for a dog
Is he likely to charge at me and pin me against a wall though?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

That's part of the fun!
I'll make that call.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

I might start carrying my rat in my handbag.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

you filthy bitch

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

I can help with that one
My little canine horror, 48 hours ago
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

labradors are the best dogs
fact
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Indeed
She's so awesome I'm even willing to overlook the fact that she's ruined my laptop power cable and shat in my trainers. Entirely my own fault mind for not keeping as close an eye on her as I ought to have done.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:15, Reply)

haha
what's she called?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Penny
as in 'Penny Black'.

It's the name the breeder had given her, and I decided to stick with it. Her pedigree name is Voodoo People though...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

both good names
my parents have a yellow lab called Maisie. She's awesome.

I still have a photo of my old lab Maud as well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Happy B3taday!
Holy crap he is cute! You are so lucky I don't know where you live any more
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Heh
I've already had threats of dognap from my sister
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:16, Reply)

=DDDD
<3 Labs
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Aww thanks!
Oh...wait...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Your dog is offensively cute
I want to steal it and keep it for myself
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Trust me
She's less cute when you're standing outside at 3.30am in the pissing rain watching her lay a cable because she can't make it all the way through the night yet.

Other than that she's all the awesome, and her pedigree name is Voodoo People - can't go wrong with dogs named after tracks from the Prodigy.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

That dog looks well vicious.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)

You're turned on, aren't you Jeff?
You want the dog to slap you during sex.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

Yes. With a really waggy tail.
I've got a semi.

I might have to go for my daily shower now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)

You could fit in a quick tooth-brushing as well.
Chicks LOVE a regular brusher.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Who cares about chicks
When there are dogs to be fucked.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Sage words, Jeffles.
One for the gravestone, that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Here you go...

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)