I've got a date this evening.
We're going for a meal and maybe a few drinks.

Q: What was the last date you went on and was it a winner?

Alt Q: It's transfer deadline day, if you could recruit a professional sports-star (or musician for you non-sporty types) to help you in your job, who would you want and why?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:12, 159 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

how many times do I have to tell you people
only been on one 'date'. I was inordinately stoned, she bumped into a hot lesbian schoolmate who she hadn't seen in ages on the way to the pub. I sat and daydreamed about them asking me back for a three-way. We parted company, never saw each other again because I started seeing one of my circle of friends.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Probably a couple of months ago now, and no, not particularly
Alt Q: I would hire Wayne Rooney to be available at all hours to gracefully receive my mockery of his potato-shaped head and his granny-shagging-shenanigans.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:14, Reply)

The Rohypnol helped.
Alt Q. Rolf Harris. The guy is ace.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:14, Reply)

transfer deadline day?
are you BobbyChomp?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:15, Reply)

No.
Thankfully.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Fuck both of you!!
I LIKE SPORT! I'm not afraid to say it.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:18, Reply)

You like Arsenal
And gingers.

I win.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:19, Reply)

yup fair enough!
where you taking her tonight then?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Probably just go to The Lounge in Bedminster
And if things are going well maybe a couple of later drink in the 'Baccy factory.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Nice touch
I hope no B3tan's in Bristol turn up and spoil it for you.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Ha ha ha
Nah, the only ones sad enough to consider that would probably be at home crying over their lack of new keeper, whilst stopping occasionally to wank over a new XBox.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:31, Reply)

It's funny cause it's true

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)

what's the place that used to be a prison called
think it's in Bedminster
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Dunno not may area, Jeff should know.
Doesn't ring any bells with me at all.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:31, Reply)

The whole fucking place was a prison.
But you are probably thinking of the Mecca bingo-hall. Wall-to-wall benefit theives.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)

possibly Fiddlers?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I'm barred from there.
Not exactly sure how or why. But I know I was fairly wobbly on ejection.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)

I didn't even know Bedminster had a prison.
There is the one by the Golden Lion off the G road and Leyhill near me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I went on one on Monday lunchtime,
yeah it went ok, only one wipe but that was the tanks fault for standing in the fire.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:15, Reply)

This is a hilarious WoW joke.
No one will get it though.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:20, Reply)

I get it even though not a WOW'er
still not funny.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:24, Reply)

My gf & I still have "proper dates" even though we live together.
It would have been easy to have fallen in to a trap of just going out in a group or slobbing about at home once we started living together so we make an effort to have dates. The last one being to a country pub on Sunday.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:16, Reply)

we have Friday night date night
we don't usually go out, but we agree not to make any other plans for that night so we can do nothing together.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:17, Reply)

That's a new concept to me.
Being in a relationship and living with somone you actually like.

How does it work?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:17, Reply)

it's a delicate dance of who wins each argument
Wiggy and I use rock paper scissors to make the important decisions, like who should get up and shut the kitchen window when we've gone to bed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:20, Reply)

we divide the boring stuff up
She does the laundry. I do the gardening & pay for the cleaner. We take it in turns to cook. Though I'm happy to do the majority of the cooking as it means I get to eat what I like.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Wiggy cooks for me every day
I hate cooking and I'm shite at it, he enjoys it. We share the cleaning, although we do have a routine where I clean the bathroom and he then tracks mud all over it the very same day. It's endearing*.

*it's not at all endearing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:26, Reply)

But if he does all the cooking
You ought to do more of the cleaning.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:33, Reply)

I iron his shirts.
and I'm so cute.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)

It works like this:
We do stuff together that we both like.
We also do stuff with our own friends without each other.
We also do stuff together + our friends.
We have some common interests and some separate ones.
But most importantly she's quite happy for me to go to the pub after work without her.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:20, Reply)

+so she can suck off her boss

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)

she works for me (that's how we met) so yes, she does.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I think that's the important thing
Wiggy and I do separate things during the week but we usually go to parties and the pub together at the weekends.

I know a couple who do everything together and they've just split up because of it. Also the girlfriend is a bit of a psycho, but that's just served to make Wiggy all the more appreciative of wonderful me!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Got to have some space & some separate interests.
Not healthy to spend all your time together. Particularly for us as she works with me part-time.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)

me and the mrs pretty much do everything together
works for us.

I've just suggested to her some plans that mean we will be able to attend the bash in October and she has agreed. Just depends on whether my bro is available for us to see him over the remainder of the weekend, but the wheels are in motion.

That's right, all you lucky bastards might get to meet me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Oh man, that's awesome,
I think I speak for everyone when I say no one cares.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:34, Reply)

are you going?
I might have to reconsider
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)

If you're going I might go to that too.
I need to go to one and I would rather you and/or Darth were there. To hold my hand and what not.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:37, Reply)

hand and
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:39, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)

class

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:41, Reply)

i may attend as well

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:39, Reply)

and the future ex-Mrs Vipros
excellent.

*steeples fingers*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Also
I would hire Peter Crouch and dress him up like Jack Skellington, then I would make him ruin Christmas.

And carry me around. I've always wanted to go on a balloon ride.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:16, Reply)

hahahahahahaha fantastic
I would hire (musician) Kevin Barnes and just watch him. Or Regine Chassagne and make her dance for me.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Regine!!!!! hubba hubba

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Ohhh she was so cute at Leeds
with her gloves and sparkly dress and accordian and hurdy-gurdy.

I wept and wept when she sang Haiti. It's such a beautiful song about such a horrible thing :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)

She could sing postman pat and I would cry she is that awesome
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Closed with Wake Up
everyone screaming along.
Oh my god when she says "Someone please kill the lights" in Sprawl II the LIGHTS ON STAGE FUCKING WENT OUT AND IT WAS AMAZING AAAAAH THEY PLAYED LAIKA AND PRETTY MUCH EVERY SONG I LOVE (apart from maybe Black Mirror but that's not really festival material) BUT AAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHH AMAZING AMAZING.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:45, Reply)

Haven't been on a date in ages
and the last one I went on was rubbish
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:17, Reply)

What was wrong with it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:18, Reply)

On closer acquaintence
we had too much to talk about.

It is sadly my experience that with the men I like the most and who are most like me, I end up in the friend-zone, because I'm not very good girlfriend material
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Are you a moose?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:34, Reply)

nope
I'm just forthright
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)

So you meet someone nice.
Go on a date with them, but sit there like that bloke from the X factor telling them what they have wrong with them?

Sounds mint!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)

no
I go on a date or just out with someone. We have loads of fun. It rarely goes beyond

edit: alternatively I could just be a moose, it is true
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Women on the internet can't be ugly.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:52, Reply)

yes we can
*gurns*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)

Mong.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)

that's just my face!
you're so insensitive! Are you looking at my chin hair?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:24, Reply)

You'll never be in the FriendZone with me, honey.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)

My last date?
He ran away : (
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:17, Reply)

*there there*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:18, Reply)

*whimpers*

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Haha
I'm pictureing him putting his hands to his face and screaming at the top of his voice as he runs away .
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Don't mock the afflicted Gonz.

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Have a date coming up with the hot reporter should be a laugh as I have it on very good authority she is mental.

Alt Q: Bobby Pires obviously for being a fucking beautiful footballing man. I would have him give me pep talks all day and tell me stories about his wonderful self.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:19, Reply)

she must be to have agreed in the first place.
/obvious joke
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)

In a wild wild turn of events she asked me out to Karaoke on Friday to which I declined
so she wants to go out for a date this weekend.

She is nice, smart, pretty and funny however two months ago she was found sat at the foot of my mates bed (she works part time for him at his pub) with a knife in her hand saying she was going to kill herself if he didn't sleep with her.

This doesn't bother me as much as it probably should.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

is that because
you have a willy and she has a vagina and boobies?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)

Depressingly yes
but also I just quite like nutters/people who need looking after.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:30, Reply)

My last date has been a while ago, if it ever was one
I'm going on one with the cute Imperialist who passed out in my lap at Leeds, though- he was adamant that we should see more of each other as I saw him once the whole of last year although we were in the same city.
Though it will be platonic due to relationships and "if it was going to happen it would have happened by now", he was adamant it was a date :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:20, Reply)

2.5 hours and still no goalkeeper! my f5 button is taking a pounding today!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:21, Reply)

The strikethrough is too obvious...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:22, Reply)

if by "f5 button" you mean prostate
I guess when pressed it does cause temporary reset.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Probably works for any of the prostate, helmet, shaft, member
in any case the overall experience is quite refreshing
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I have a huge hard on right now
huge
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)

I was thinking more "button-like" appendages
The most suitable is the clit, but BobbyChomp doesn't have one of those, unless he really IS Chompy...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)

And you both missed my amazingly shit pun
_{(Either that or decided it was so shit it wasn't worth wasting bandwidth by commenting on it)}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:31, Reply)

It had its function, I guess
kill me nooooow
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)

You can bore off if you think you're having Schwarzer.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:33, Reply)

David James spotted entering The Emirates.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Oh Jeff, I've been meaning to ask, what did your name used to be?
EDIT: Also, when do they stop being 'dates'?
You know like when you're going out with someone, are they still dates, or are you just going somewhere with your bf/gf?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Craig Colcough

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Ed.

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Nooooo!
I'm not being suspicious. I know this isn't a puppet, it's just a name-change.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Mullered methinks?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:06, Reply)

John the Dane

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Oh fuck the lorra yez!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:24, Reply)

Mullered
Says so in the profile
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Oh ta!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Some fucking detective you are.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I thought it better to converse with him and ask outright
than snoop around in his posts, imagining it's his underwear drawer.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Or the 'stain' drawer as I call it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)

that's why I couldn't go on Come Dine With Me
that and the likely food poisoning
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Correct.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)

It took me a while
I know I recognised some of the top answers. I like the change, now I don't confuse you with Battered.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)

'Jeff' suits you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I'm okay with that.
I'm happy that you didn't say 'dog fucker' suits you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I sort of went on one last night
A girl from round here added me on Facebook and asked if I wanted to go out last night, I did but I walked home cos I was bored.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Well you won't be walking home this evening!
(Sorry. That's just mean isn't it?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)

ha ha

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Hahaha
I can laugh cos I'm sorted now, I'm staying at my mates hotel in town for a few days. Somewhere to live and emulating a certain Mr. Partridge. It's win win.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:36, Reply)

don't forget to take your own big plate down to the buffet

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Glad to hear you've found somewhere.
Even if it is your mates hotel some shitty council B&B.

I don't know what's wrong with me today. Sorry.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:41, Reply)

I've only been on one date.
It was nice, but no 'fireworks'*.

The idea of going out on my own with a woman I barely know (or not at all) for an entire evening, fills me a creeping dread, if I'm honest. I am a decent enough conversationalist, I think, for it not to be awfully awkward, but really, fuck that shit.

*I mean 'sex', really.

*dies alone*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:27, Reply)

*joins*

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:28, Reply)

meet for lunch for a first date - less time so less potential for awkwardness

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:33, Reply)

oi monty
I might be coming to that bash in october
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Excellent - do it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:35, Reply)

hmmm, it seems that it may require some delicate negotiation with my mrs
it transpires that she doesn't fancy meeting up with a bunch of maniacs that she doesn't know.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Fair enough - they ARE a bunch of terrible cunts
(apart from me).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I have been thinking about attending

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:41, Reply)

and me
Monty I'll bring you a present.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I'll bring you a fucking present and all, sunshine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I meant a nice present
No bumdering, but it is something you put in your mouth and suck on!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:47, Reply)

I'm DEFFO bringing a rape alarm now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I've a spare one.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I've now deleted TWO nasty replies to this.
*beams*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:59, Reply)

:(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:01, Reply)

But...but I deleted them!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:03, Reply)

But you thought of them :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:04, Reply)

You DO make it easy, sometimes.
Arf.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:05, Reply)

*deletes another reply*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:06, Reply)

WHY DO I KEEP MISSING THESE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO SIT PRESSING REFRESH EVERY SECOND

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I haven't actually posted them
I've thought better of it each time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)

-hisses-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:08, Reply)

*fetches puncture repair kit*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Try not to overinflate me, please
I'm overstuffed as it is.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:10, Reply)

*deletes reply*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Come on, son.
They're OK - and I'll meet you somewhere first and kill you so you don't have to turn up on your own like a poofter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:43, Reply)

Splendid. It is now in my diary

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Bring a knife and watch your back
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:47, Reply)

it's understandable
just need to come to some kind of arrangement. I have a horrible feeling that if I come to London I'll be guilted into spending the whole time with my brother, his wife and my young niece.

My mrs said that other day "she's 7 months old and you've only seen her once"

I wasn't sure why that was a particular problem.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:43, Reply)

The problem is that you're a fucking paedo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:44, Reply)

I'll be her friend
*grins maniacally*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Go on a date in the first week of November.
The fireworks WILL happen.

*taps nose, knowingly*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Hahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I have been invited to Torture Garden on Saturday.
I expect the whole thing to go horribly, horribly wrong.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Invited as on a date?

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:33, Reply)

Sorta-kinda-maybe-I'm-choosing-to-interpret-it-that-way.
So no.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Well that's good enough for me.
Good luck!
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I quite like the idea of the fetish club first date.
Cards on the table and all that.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:40, Reply)

maybe she's taking you as the nubile young virgin
and you're going to be set upon by a load of ravenous goth women.

Wait, I was supposed to be putting you off.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Fine by me.
Also, tt ll
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Alt: I would recruit David Bowie
because I hate my shitty job and would love to inflict it on him. I would then also bully him until he had a breakdown (and ideally topped himself).
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:37, Reply)

savage bastard!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:48, Reply)

because I hate my shitty job and would love to inflict it on him. I would then also bully him until he had a breakdown (and ideally topped himself). and bum him.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:50, Reply)

oh man I'm totally trying to sort out some dates right meow
q: it was total shit, the person was all "I know you asked suchandsuch friend if you were supposed to pay so I'll pay since I asked you" and I felt all awkward, then it was some friends wanted us to meet them at the bar and it was "you can drink, I know you're just going to get drunk anyway" and then I saw a girl I had met one time ever in my life and I couldn't remember her name so I asked the date what her name was and then she angled her body away from me, I could see her phone though, and sent a message to that girl and said "oh, is your name carmen lmao what a retard"
really, then what was the fucking point in asking me out on a date if you're so fucking determined to ruin it
cunt
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:45, Reply)

I genuinely thought this post was by Gonz* until I got to the end.
What's happened to your written English, Kristine?



*no offence Gonz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:51, Reply)

*rolls eyes*
I was incredibly disappointed and a little hurt.
The date made me feel bad for asking if I should offer to pay.
Then blatantly implied I was an alcoholic.
Then called me a retard because I couldn't remember the name of a person I had met once.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Ah, I see.
Sounds inordinately shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:56, Reply)

He sounds like a shit.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:58, Reply)

no offence lols
earlier on I wrote an email which was basically "hey, sorry we nearly got you executed, lolz"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:56, Reply)

haha fucking hell

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 15:57, Reply)

I've been on one date this year
Before that I'd never really done a 'date'. It went pretty well I reckon, we saw each other a few more times, then departed as friends.

Alt Q: Either Paul Wight(the one lifting, not being lifted) or Dalip Singh, so they could batter anyone who came near me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Where's Gonz's reply to this question?
EH? EH?!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 31 Aug 2010, 16:27, Reply)