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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hello people.
I've noticed a lot of people on here suffer from Butterfly Mind Syndrome (as my teacher kindly called it) and have the attention span of an art student. So
What shiny has distracted you lately?

Alt Q: What? Oh. Er, if you could be a disease what would you be and why?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:10, 184 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
All the cool stuff in my kitchen

(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:10, Reply)
Like my breadmaker

(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:11, Reply)
looking at new cars on the internet is a pleasant distraction.
Alt q: Whatever that disease is where they smoke weed to feel better. That way I could be high all day.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)
No!
Not what disease would you have, what would you BE!

I would have to be Chlamydia. Nobody knows you're there and nobody cares until the burning starts.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I read it right, I want to be fed marijuana.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)
*nods*
I've been on the Alfa Romeo section of Autotrader every day this month.

Shinnyyyyy
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)
See I can't quite stretch to an Alfa. Well I could but it wouldn't be a good one.
Looking at Volvo C70 convertible or BMW 850i so cheap now
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)
I can't either
Plus they're unreliable and the girlfriend thinks they're hideous. All of which just makes me want one more.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)
wait, what, your girlfriend thinks Alfas are hideous?
fucking hell. Is she blind?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)
Don't ask.
She's the world's most intolerant person where cars are concerned.

She likes Baur BMWs and that's about it, so far.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)
The 840 is better than the 850 - smoother engine, cheaper to service and better economy - little difference in power

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)
depends which Alfa.
You can certainly buy a V6 GTV for less than either of those two, and it'll make a better noise.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)
But if anything goes wrong I will be buggered trying to maintain it.
I think I will do the Alfa thing once I've graduated. Leaning towards the Volvo more than the Beemer but need to get one soon as uni starts in 4 weeks and my car is dying.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)
what, as opposed to a 5-cylinder volvo or a V8 beemer, which you can maintain in your sleep?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)
The volvo will never be as expensive as an Alfa
and my friend is a mechanic for Dick Lovett and does my cars out of work anyway for mates rates.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)
It's really only the engine electrics that are brutally expensive on Alfas
well, and the clutches. And the brakes....
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:43, Reply)
I just don't want to take the risk whilst studying
I want something I know will go round the clock again before spilling its guts on the M4.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)
Mitsubishi Galant V6-24.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
A bit ugly.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
and a Volvo isn't?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
A lot of them are gorgeous.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
YAY! Galantness

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
Yeah, that's a real word.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:26, Reply)
I'm quite tempted to buy another 166 just for the fuck of it.
especially since they cost about 12p. My last one only broke a bit...
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)
Depending on my mood
I want a 156, 147, 145, 146, GT, GTV, Brera or a GTV6.

I'm a bit of an Alfa slut.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
but you already have the bestest of all cars
why would you change?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)
I get bored quickly
buy something on impulse, then spend the entirety of the time I own the new car regretting the loss of the old one. So then I buy a new one on impulse and regret the one I just sold.

ad infinitum
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)
I've had a 156, 166 and a GTV.
only the 166 actually really broke down on me, but I tend not to keep them for more than a year. Plus, it didn't "break down" as such. Just behaved interestingly.

I'd like a Brera but they just don't drive very well. My 156 was a lowered SP3 ex-demo car and it's one of the best handling cars I've ever had. And I've had an S2000.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)
My Z4 M handled well - did a few track days in it. Quicker and less skittish than the TVR I had before

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)
Driven by wifeswappers, though. ;)
My mate has an atomic breadvan, that's pretty tidy. I imagine the drive is similar.

The S2000 was mental on a track but a bit too much on the road, the power delivery is too brutal, plus you had to rev the nuts off it to get the power and then it would only do about 70 miles on a tank of super, which isn't cheap.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)
doesn't an S2000 rev to 9000 rpm or something daft?
Got taken out in an Arial Atom last year - quickest thing I have ever experience except for the 600RR bike I used to have.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)
redlines at 9000, yeah.
the top end of the power doesn't come in until about 7-7500 though, which makes it fine on the track but a bit iffy on the road, because you're constantly driving round at less than 3/4 power so as not to make small children cry with the noise, and then you'll forget, bury it off a roundabout in the wet, rev into the power band and find yourself going backwards at 50. Not from repeated personal experience, oh no.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:51, Reply)
*strikes S2000 from list of potential cars*
the list of convertibles that I can allow myself to buy is rapidly dwindling...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
How tall are you as well?
My friend has an S2000 and he is 6'3. He looks like a dick in it.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
If you are over 6' you look a dick in any convertible.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
*cries*

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)
Don't worry
you look a dick out of a convertable
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
at least I can spell convertible
IN YOUR FACE
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:09, Reply)
6'2

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
Don't write it off.
It is an epically brilliant car, and a work of engineering genius. nearly 250 bhp from a normally aspirated 1998 cc 4 cylinder engine? Genius. But if you don't respect it in the wet it will bite.

It also costs best part of £1000 to replace the clutch and it eats tyres and brake pads, especially on the track. And if you run it on anything other than Bridgestone S02s you will die a bit on fire backwards through a hedge. But I loved it.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
it does sound like fun
but something a little less hungry for wearing parts would be nice.

Plus, my mrs will be driving it some of the time at least, and I'd rather not buy a car that will lead directly to her death.

I mainly just want a convertible, not overly concerned with performance, beyond a certain point, as I'm used to driving diesels.

I'm quite fond of the old Porsche 944 convertible at the moment, particularly as there aren't many around.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)
What about a BMW 328 convertible? (Cheaper than the 330 and a better drive than the 325)

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
tempting
and arguably more practical

it's not going to be for a while, particularly as I need to buy a van first
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
CLKs are cheap now
plus you get back seats. Or do you want a 2 seater.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
not reay to rule anything out at this stage
I'm in the long term dreaming phase of the plan at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
expensive parts on a Merc though, plus CLK's have a reputation for dodgy electricals

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
I'm used to that
the electricals in my car have been done by the Spanish
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)
That's why I liked my M - 3.2 straight 6 gave it power all through the rev range. At 336 bhp it was still entertaining in the wet though

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
I'm tempted to just knock my dad out and nick his Z3
I will at least have a less gay car than my mates who drive MX5s and MGFs
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
I did a standing quarter mile in my Z4 against a Z3 - Z3 was almost as quick 5 speed box v my 6 speed was the only thing that held it back a bit

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:08, Reply)
Overall, I want a GT 2.0
I love the older style boxy styling. But the 156 is probably the most practical answer. Of course it's an Alfa, so why bother with practical? Blah blah eternal spiral of lust and misery.

The only thing putting me off a 156 etc is the 600 pound clutch. And the cambelt needs doing every 36000 miles.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)
yeah. Still, buy one at 40,000 miles and sell it at 70,000.
Job done.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:42, Reply)
Shiny..
so many shiny things. Primarily the envy I feel towards my brother's new laptop.
Alt Q: There is no disease I'd like to be
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:18, Reply)
Oh man that's really harsh saying people are like butterflies
A moth flew into my wine the other day and then it tasted funny, the wine I won last weekend at a raffle isn't too bad unlike bsg which is AWESOME. Not as awesome as beating Lab at stobart. I'd like to beat Lab with a lot of heavy items in his smug face. Mm croisants
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:19, Reply)
Look, over there, a squirrel with a flute.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:25, Reply)
How do you play Stobart
because it sounds as though you say "oh, there's a Stobart lorry", which sounds really fucking dull.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)
I fear you have it in one, young Kronos.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
No you SCREAM
STOBART at the other person. Much swearing ensues.

MONTY HATES GAME SHOCK
Ban this sick fun
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Audi driver
in screaming at people aggression shocker.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:33, Reply)

driver
at people aggression shocker bender hairdressers' cars shocker
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)
For that
you won't be allowed near me or lusty at the bash. Especially when we're being naughty. You'll be forced to stand nt he corner by yourself. I may give you a copy of the lords prayer
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:35, Reply)
I drive an Audi too, Monty
so steady on old chap or ISWEARTOGODI'LLCOMEROUNDYOURHOUSEANDRAPEYOUINYOURSLEEPGETTHEFUCKOFFMYROADYOUSLOWCUUUUUUUUUUUNT
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:40, Reply)
I know nothing of cars, and cannot even drive
but I understand the 'TT' to be a homosexual-mobile.

This may be nonsense, but if it upsets people I shall continue to state it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Neither of us drive a TT though
I distrust people who can't drive
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)
I don't trust you either
*narrows eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)
WE'RE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER MONTY!
WHY DO YOU FIGHT IT!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
I would insist on some sort of duel.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
The TT is a true mincer's car. I bet Cumshot has one.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)
The mark 1 was
with its tellytubby styling. The newer one's a bit more manly.

We both drive A3s though, so we have the Audi fuck you temperament with an added frisson of short bloke syndrome.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)
I'm 5'10"
And a girl :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)
I'm 6'2"
But we have the shopping trolley model.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
There are currently 11 black Audi A3's
sat in the car park of our section of the business park. And for that reason alone I will not be buying an Audi. As good as they are.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
Mine's dark blue

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
RED
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:56, Reply)
My bro is planning on getting a bright red S3 Black

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
So is it red or black then?
I'm confused.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
the model is Black
and it has extra gay tinted windows etc. but he wants a bright red one.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:04, Reply)
nowt wrong with tinted windows

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
that is true
but the ones on that Audi are extra dark. Fine on a black car, but really gay on a bright red one.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)
I used to think tinted windows were awful
but my car has 'privacy glass' in the back and the estatey bit, and it's actually OK.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)
You would expect that a model with the name Black
would only be available in that colour.

Henry Ford will be turning in his grave.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)
Tell him to check the roof gutters
and the very bottom of the door for rust. The facelift model got an extra 15bhp after 02, as well.

I'm assuming we're talking about the mark1, incidentally. I know nothing about the mark2.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)
it's going to be a brand spanking new one
as it will be a company car
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
Oh, well then.
Ignore me.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
I wouldn't expect anything less from a b3tan

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
You want to see a doctor about that.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
Right.
Knickers off. Hop on the table and legs behind ears please.

Edit - not you Monty.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:29, Reply)
Oh boy, croissants are great aren't they
I went to the tesco express yesterday to buy a donut and a muffin and they had chocolate croissants there but I didn't get one, the donut was alright, but the muffin was really bland, I had a cup of tea with it and the mrs insisted on watching deal or no deal and the woman went home with 1p, do you think they actually give them a cheque for 1p or just a penny or do they not actually bother with such small amounts.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I think they have to give them a cheque.
I hope it's one of those MASSIVE cheques
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)
I'd love to try and cash one of those.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)
Do they actually give them small cheques as well?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
There's a mini in your parking space.
Muhahahah.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)
I hate you

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:36, Reply)
I love you.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)
Everyone does

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)
I watched another ridiculous Jet Li film at the weekend, he stuck a pin in some guy's neck and then he was paralysed and blood came out of his eyes and he died and then there was Bridget Fonda dressed up like a hooker.
Awesome.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
What's it called?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
Kiss of the Dragon

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
I was going to watch that
but I forgot
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
it's alright.
I spent most of the weekend playing Mario Kart. Apart from 2 hours sat on Dartmoor in the sun reading a book.

Dartmoor would be great if there weren't so many cunts there all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
on the other hand
did you enjoy your lemon drizzle cake?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:19, Reply)
That's the chap.
Unleashed is still better, but that was pretty good.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:58, Reply)
That one with Aaliyah in is alright
Before she died, obviously. Romeo Must Die.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
yeah that's not bad
Jet Li's best film is Twin Warriors though. or possibly The Shaolin Temple.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
Is that a remake of Double Impact?
Please tell me it is.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
it is
not
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
Think I've got that
I went through a phase of buying kung fu films.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Needs moar BOB HOSKINS

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:00, Reply)
hahaha
I will have to watch that as well
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
It is on my list for next time I go DVD shopping,
partly because I'm still not 100% sure I didn't imagine the whole thing.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Did my constant asking of
"did this film really happen?" have anything to do with that
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:05, Reply)
A little bit.
Your have me doubting my own senses.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)
"How can anyone actually smell that bad?"

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)
Fucking excellent film.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:06, Reply)
kiss of the dragon?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
I've just come back from holiday
this has distracted me from just about everything I've been told I need to do at work today.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:22, Reply)
Oooh, where did you go?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:27, Reply)
That's quite enough from you, 'Cotton-Eye Joe'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)
He "got married a long time ago"

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Oh if it hadn't been for him I'd have been married a long time ago.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Where did you come from?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:39, Reply)
Thanks
that's now going to be in my head ALL DAY.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)
No problem.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Yup.
Along with the image of it being sung by Monty, dressed up in his finest Southern Hick costume, embellished tastefully with swatiska armband.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)
So dressed the way he normally is then?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)
Well, when he's not doing his Adam Ant impersonation

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
What?
Running around Camden threatening people with a toy gun?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
It's the guy from DHL who gets it worst
When Monty flings the door wide open and yells "STAAAAAND AND DELIVER!"

"Erm...yeah...could you just sign here, please sir?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
This should help
tinyurl.com/djx3m9
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)
Spain, mostly
although I've not really been at home for nearly three weeks due to doing this and this.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Keeping busy, then?
How was Spain?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:44, Reply)
Excellent, cheers
spent a couple of days in Granada and just over a week at my friend's mum's house near-ish Almeria. The weather was awesome and the sangria was cheap. Sadly neither of those things can be said about england. *sigh*
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)
Sounds lovely
I guess if you're missing it then you could always sit under a 100W desk lamp mixing orange juice and Tesco Value Table Wine.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:54, Reply)
Ha, you make me sound so cheap!
How mean. How're you, anyway?
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
Well, you were bemoaning the cost of Sangria in this country - I'm simply providing the "economy" suggestion
I am knackered. I've moved all but the last of my stuff into my new abode, and despite sleeping solidly for eight hours last night I think I could have turned over for another eight. And tonight I have to find a way to get a large and unwieldy bass amp up to a pub near London Bridge. I don't know how my floppy wrists will cope.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:59, Reply)
I can cope with paying out a few extra quid for sangria
what I particularly mind is that it's damp and fucking freezing. How's the new house?
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Pretty good so far.
Area's not as tranquil, but I can at least walk to work now, and the view of Battersea power station from the front door is pretty cool.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:07, Reply)
'the view of Battersea power station from the front door is pretty cool'
...really?
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
I'm not that close to it
But I can see it looming above the other buildings in the distance. I've always found the building strangely fascinating*, though I suspect the novelty will wear off in a couple of weeks.

*Possibly due to overdoing the Pink Floyd as a teenager**
**Fnar fnar.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
I seem to recall you telling me you've always lived in or near London
so you've probably never been cow tipping, but I have to say that that's what it reminds me of - an cow with it's legs in the air. Made of bricks, obviously.
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
I can see the similarity
Perhaps, to really put your analogy to the test and head up to Milton Keynes to tip the more famous bovine artifices for comparison.

Would involve going back to Milton Keynes, though...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)
MILTON KEEEEEYNES
Satan's layby.* Yeah, if I were you, I wouldn't inflict that on myself - just take my word for it!

*sorry, couldn't help myself..
(berk, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:24, Reply)
My shiny bell end.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:28, Reply)
you did have it polished
one way or another
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:29, Reply)
Preciselement, Chief Inspector Japp
(-s eye)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Sir, your revelations are in danger of transgressing the Gentleman's Code.

(Cave Duck, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:45, Reply)
I fear you may be right
*shuts fucking trap*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Fucking trap?
So THAT'S how you're getting your end away.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
or in another sense
his end permanently away
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)
When you get to my age, you have to be clever about these things...

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:21, Reply)
It’s the frequency of the polishing that really helps

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)
and the fact that he does that pre-cum thing

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:53, Reply)
the hooker in the window opposite my office distracts me

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:31, Reply)
*removes wig - waves*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:32, Reply)
hi! just going to get a coffee - Shall I get you one too? Nice bra today.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)
No milk for me.
The hormone treatment has me lactating like a Jersey.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)
Ummm my new glasses.
they're red with little sparkly bits at the side.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:34, Reply)
You are Elton John
AICMFP
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:37, Reply)
no,
I am neither old, nor a singer, or in possession of dangly bits.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:38, Reply)
I bet if Jeff had said that you would have been all like
lol jeff you're so funny lol lol.

Oh man I need to get Al to trip over Jeff at a bash
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:41, Reply)
no? I wouldn't have?
I don't really think the "you are ______ AICMFP" jokes are very funny is all.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:47, Reply)
They've been going on since the (I think) 1960s
My parents used to crack them when I was a child.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:52, Reply)
That doesn't mean they're not funny
I mean you have been going since the 60s and you're still funny

looking
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:55, Reply)
you poor thing...

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:57, Reply)
Jeff who?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:48, Reply)
The dog fucker

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:49, Reply)
The Doctor's lesser known brother.

(Cave Duck, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
I killed him when he was 7.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:50, Reply)
Still, at least you didn't fuck him.

(Cave Duck, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:01, Reply)
No.
Didn't fuck him.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
eBay
I've spent two hundred quid in the last day. That was supposed to pay for my rent on Friday.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)
Typical youngster
You'll be homeless again before you can say student loans are really unfair.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:10, Reply)
In fairness it was all stuff I needed and stuff I'd been planning to buy.
I just bought it all in one go instead of spreading it out. Luckily all my clothes are ace, just sold an old jacket for £120 so all is well.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)
Are you implying that Art students have short attention spans?
On what evidence?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:03, Reply)
Usually their inabilty to create art is a bit of a giveaway.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)
Art students can't make art?
Presumably that's why they're studying it?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)
Art students can't be fucked studying...
...that is why they went to art school.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)
I think we can spot the art student
in this conversation
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)
Shopping for a shiny new TV...
...and external media hard drive. I am overwhelmed but bedazzled by the gadgetry and fear that the cost factor is rising.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)
Do you have anything telly-side
that can see your home network, like a PS3? If you do, cheapest thing that'll do your job would be a NAS drive, you can keep it powered on independantly of your home PC and access it through the PS3.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)
Of course
if you have a PS3, you can just store your stuff on that unless you have reams and reams of porn films.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:25, Reply)

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