Bargain!
What was the best bargain you've ever managed to bag?

Alt Q: When is it acceptable to put the heating on? I've gone a bit cold.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 18:57, 216 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's a acceptable to put the heating on when you feel cold.
Otherwise you're just wasting money.
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:12, Reply)

9p swiss roll. Usually £2
i put the heating on, but mostly to dry out my mobile phone which had an adventure in the laundrette
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:13, Reply)

How do you make a swiss roll?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:19, Reply)

push him down a hill
or

www.channel4.com/food/recipes/baking/cakes/swiss-roll-recipe_p_1.html
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:23, Reply)

bleh

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:24, Reply)

this post is unrelated
however, I'm thinking of breaking my rule of "hate everything velvet" because there's a hot ass dress I want to wear for the pimps and hoes party but it's velvet

WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:25, Reply)

Wear velvet.
I like velvet. And dresses.

How is beautiful Kristine?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:26, Reply)

Hungover! How is luscious Lampito??

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:30, Reply)

Shattered.
Took my sister out for lunch, but she's a neurotic mess at the moment :/

I did drink a whole bottle of wine last night and wasn't too drunk. Not that bad.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:35, Reply)

oooooh that's no good :(
I drank a couple of glasses of wine last night
on top of many beers
today has been interesting
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:47, Reply)

I had a glass of champers too, it was a very civilised affair
I was drinking it out of a cup decorated with "anal pornstar" though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:48, Reply)

hahaha sounds well civilised

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:50, Reply)

has it become an offline meme as well?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:53, Reply)

certainly gives credence to vipros'
idea that it's actually true
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:55, Reply)

It's really, really really not true.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:04, Reply)

hmm
OK, I will believe you..for now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:12, Reply)

No, I was actually drinking with one b3tan
So I was able to explain "Vipros said it, you know it's not true"

He might come in October, but it's after Trafalgar Night so he may just be dead.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:04, Reply)

That puzzled me extremely

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:06, Reply)

What did?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:08, Reply)

The Trafalgar night did for a moment
and the come in October
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:11, Reply)

1. Big navy dinner
2. Bash.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:12, Reply)

This makes more sense
I know a couple of people who are navy cadets also. It's a heavy drinking night indeed.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:15, Reply)

I don't know if you're in the navy
but I love a sailor
(Mr Big Stuff, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:12, Reply)

how nice is it?
and will the texture of velvet make you vom?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:26, Reply)

I would say I didn't understand that
but I get a similar thing with suede. HATE IT WITH A FERVENT PASSION.
Hello Cougar Darling.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:27, Reply)

thanks to the crack
down my laptop screen, that read cougar-daddy. Prompting some questions
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:28, Reply)

i would also question this
and many other things
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:29, Reply)

velvet is like the tactile equivilent of nails down a blackboard
(my group's shield covers are velvet and they taunt me with them)

HELLO LAAK
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:30, Reply)

But possibly superior to velour.

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:32, Reply)

god yes
velour...urgh! just the word is making me feel queasy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:33, Reply)

Horrible stuff!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:36, Reply)

I love it.
I have a gorgeous black velvet dress that makes my tits look amazing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:37, Reply)

well, I'm going to wear it to a pimps and hoes party
how nice do you think it is?? ;)
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:31, Reply)

OK, how hot is it?
is that a better description?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:34, Reply)

totally gazzing it

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:39, Reply)

Sharing is caring

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:40, Reply)

shall I gaz you as well?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:44, Reply)

please :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:44, Reply)

that's pretty sleazy :)

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:44, Reply)

that girl is uggo
but my lezbo roommates gave it the seal of approval
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:46, Reply)

I want to see it too plzzz

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:46, Reply)

golly!

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:48, Reply)

Evening lovelies!
My heating is on now - I am officially the worst Scotsman ever. Slightest breeze and I'm bundled up like an Arctic explorer.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:31, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:55, Reply)

How's you me love?
I'm having an awesome day :)
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:59, Reply)

My right bull hurts, not my left one, but my right one.
I really hope they don't have to amputee it off, I'm planning on using it some day.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:32, Reply)

Hello Gonz
I went for sushi today. It was excellent and very good value.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:39, Reply)

Fabulous ! Where did you go? what did you have?
I'm having a personal international credit crunch at the moment, sad times. No sushi for me for a little while, gutted. I'm doing what I did yesterday, stuffed some peppers with couscous and topped with chorizo and motzerlla and panko breadcrumbs... put it in the oven while hollyoaks is on and take it out after.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:54, Reply)

Hare and Tortoise - we went to the one in Kensington, but there's a few around
I took my sister out for her birthday, she had a 13 piece veggie sushi platter (asparagus and avocado, tofu, that sort of thing- like a good vegetarian), and I had tori katsu curry- chicken in panko with sticky rice and a lovely sauce. All that, miso and 2 drinks for under £20. Fucking A.

Oh dear, hope things get better. The stuffed peppers sound nice, I'm certainly going to get some panko and make katsu curry myself.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:58, Reply)

I got loads of japanese stuff from
www.sushisushi.co.uk , including the pankos, I got that £50-60 sushi starter kit (donno what it's called), the one that comes with the 'magic sushi roller'... Along with a Rice Steamer. I haven't really tried it yet, but I've got some ideas for the wassabi powder, like maybe including it in some sort of desert or mixing it with mayo and using it as a dip.

The old fiscal situation will sort itself out, it always does =) You just reminded me that they've been on for about an hour, and they're very very "well done", on the verge of burnt without being burnt, which is OK for me. I did 3 peppers and will only eat 3 halfs so tomo for lunch I'll warm up the rest of it tomo in the microwave.

That place sounds good, I'd be up for giving it a shot. If you fancy hooking up any time soon, like to see a picture show, a nice something to eat, or even comin' 'round for a few drinks and some plastic instriments/dvds... I'd be up for that =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:09, Reply)

I'll check that site out!
I have a massive weakness for tofu. I'll let you know- would be nice!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:25, Reply)

Coolio =)
I'm very hit'n'miss when it comes to tofu, if it's done right, it's lush, but it can be quite dull. I really like Tomago which is like a sweet omlette used in savory sushi.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:41, Reply)

blimey
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8248056.stm
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:34, Reply)

All that's missing
Is Dastardly and Muttley chasing it. I loved that cartoon.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:35, Reply)

HAHA!
totally!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:36, Reply)

Now the thing I didn't get about Wacky Races
is presumable D&M must have been miles out in front to have the time to set up the elaborate traps. Why didn't they just carry on racing?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:39, Reply)

because elaborate cheating is fun

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:43, Reply)

If ultimately unsuccessful

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:45, Reply)

fun is the true success
/inspiration poster
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:49, Reply)

I got an Armani dress
that was originally worth about £600 for £20 second-hand. Well worth it- hadn't been worn, and was a perfect size 12

Alt Q: it's only acceptable to put the heating on if you are near to dying of hypothermia and/or you can't feel your toes anymore
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:36, Reply)

ooooooooooh do tell, is it amazing??

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:50, Reply)

it was about a year ago
but it is amazing. It's a 12 (US8 I think), so the only bad thing about it is it makes my breasts look absolutely enormous, so I have to wear it with a scarf since there is just a bit too much cleavage
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:53, Reply)

the thing is
with fancy dresses, when the hell do you get to wear them? I think I last wore a frock in February at a wedding
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:54, Reply)

Formal dinners usually
I've worn it out once as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:55, Reply)

i clearly hang out in the wrong crowd for posh frocks. Probably just as well
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:56, Reply)

I got dressed up for a wedding and my friends were all wooooooooah why don't you dress up more often
and I'm all, what's the point, I don't do anything to get dressed up for
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:02, Reply)

maybe we just need to create more opportunities
I shall have a black tie bbq or something
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:11, Reply)

that's awesome

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:55, Reply)

thanks
I scared a Bursar with my tits once though. And last time I wore it I had to dash to a charity shop and buy a scarf
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:58, Reply)

My house
When you've run out of jumpers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 19:39, Reply)

perhaps it is getting cold, look what I can see from my window...

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:10, Reply)

Hmm
I fear some local yoof will have the tusks off that in no time.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:53, Reply)

I think it's been there a long time
it just took a 300mm lens and 12 megapixels to realise I could see it from my house today
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 20:57, Reply)

Well they're just not trying hard enough are they
kids these days eh?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 21:19, Reply)

yes
i can't work my fancy digital heating though, it does what the fuck it wants, so i have just come home from the gym and put my fire on instead!

where did everyone go, esp lampito and gonz who were talking about a restaurant AT THE END OF MY ROAD, i would have enjoyed that chat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:03, Reply)

Alright rachelswipe
do you still travel up to Oxford?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:04, Reply)

You still looking for gig listings?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:08, Reply)

hola chica
aye, i have a few days there towards the end of the month - bloody hell they pack it in though, lectures/seminars from about 9 to 11pm! when do you go back?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:10, Reply)

Go back on the 1st
thinking of having a mini-bash, if you're still travelling up around that way in October you should drop by :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:31, Reply)

oh good idea
it's only about an hour away anyway so keep me posted!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

will do
there's a few b3tans in the Oxford area, and one or two who are willing to travel
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:46, Reply)

Did you do the boxing?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:07, Reply)

that's on sunday now
she just made me do 90 mins work on my (fl)abs, i won't be able to breathe tomorrow!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:11, Reply)

90 mins of sit-ups with someone shouting at you?*
Sounds like great value for money to me.

*As you can probably tell, I don't do the gym, though I am naturally slim.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:13, Reply)

not just shouting at me
also throwing really heavy 10kg balls at me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:16, Reply)

Balls. <sniggers>
And you pay extra for this?

It sounds like some sort of sick fetish club, rather than a gym to me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:17, Reply)

it is nowhere near that exciting!
i live near olympia, which has the erotica show every year (being as close as i have ever come to a fetish club) and nobody in the gym is that exotic.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:21, Reply)

How often do you go to the gym?
I've got friends who go there daily and - in my mind - that is excessive, although saying that, it it probably more sensible than just going once a week.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:24, Reply)

at the moment
i am going about 5 days a week, but i must be mad as i have just signed up for that reeeeally sweaty bikram yoga thing too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:29, Reply)

Why?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:36, Reply)

good question
because it's good for you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:37, Reply)

It can't be that good for you.
Not if it takes up precious time away from work.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:41, Reply)

this can be a problem
and much more crucially away from the pub. there should be more than 24 hours in a day.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:43, Reply)

But what is the point in creating the body beautiful
If the only people who see it are the other toned people at the gym?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:46, Reply)

mens sana in corpore etc etc
i don't know, bit of a challenge innit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:53, Reply)

If I didn't go to the gym
while at uni I would be a hideously quivering mass of flesh
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:54, Reply)

Society.
And it's healthy ways.

Fair enough, if going to the gym makes you both happy, who am I to question it?

But I'd rather be in the pub.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:57, Reply)

gym-work-pub
pick 2 out of 3 if you want to do them well every day!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:59, Reply)

I don't buy that.
You don't have to do the gym or the pub 'well' you need balance.

Have you noticed significant benefits from going to the gym 5 nights a week, over going 3 nights a week?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:01, Reply)

gimme a few more months
and i think so. but then work always gets in the way as inevitably a massive case comes in and ruins everything!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:11, Reply)

You can have as long as you like going to the gym 5 night a week!
I don't mind at all.

I was just wondering what the motivation was to keep up such a regime!

Where do you find time to eat?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:16, Reply)

all bloody day at my desk...
stupid sedentary job!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:21, Reply)

As this questioning (by me) has moved so far to the right hand of the screen...
I suggest it cease.

Instead, I intend annoying my dear friend Bob, further down the page.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:22, Reply)

best example
no doubt swipe is much thinner than I am, reflecting her committment. Put in what you get out
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:23, Reply)

Wayhay!!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)

it's the robot revolution
it's gonna burn you or fry you. Lucky you outsmarted it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:10, Reply)

i have a nasty feeling
it comes on at about 9am and stays on until about 4pm. as i work from about 7.30am and am seldom home before midnight this is not a whole lot of use! but if i try to change it the pilot light goes out and that is way above my limits.

on a different note, batman returns is on. how hot was michael keaton, but ONLY when clad in all that rubber. weird.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:12, Reply)

not sure about that one
I think the batman suit always looks a bit immovable
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:15, Reply)

i've had much much worse...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:16, Reply)

so I hear
maybe the suit keeps the poo in
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:18, Reply)

he's batman
he doesn't need to worry about that sort of shit.

sorry, dreadful punnage.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:22, Reply)

Bargains, eh?
BAT shares in 1990. Sold in 1999 just in time. Certainly a significant contribution to my current playboy lifestyle.

I can afford to dally here for a short while before the minibus packed with supermodels arrives. What-ho, b3ta people.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:33, Reply)

good evening sir

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:34, Reply)

Good evening Madam
And a fine evening it probably is.

Only a flighting visit, y'understand, whilst I await my fiacre. Damned lackeys being dilatory again.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:44, Reply)

shit happens eh?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:52, Reply)

To the best of us
Meanwhile we bide our time, and wait for more palatable shit.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:57, Reply)

this is a good philosophy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 22:59, Reply)

I'd rather describe it as a truism
Our 21st Century life brings us manifold shit.

The wiser person selects a depth of shit in which they can recline odiously, without becoming submerged.

The fool will sink in odure.

Give me 24 hours and I'll encapsulate this more neatly for one of those day by day phrase calendars espoused by The Mail et al.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:18, Reply)

enzyme can help!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

I'm more concise
I'll drop this down to an analogy.

And I'm mighty flattered that you've put Enzyme and I in the same context.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

he does have
a gigantic brain!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:34, Reply)

We all have the same sized brain
It's our ability to interpret and assimilate the input, then regulate the output that makes us what we are.

Pinot Grigiot liberates my philosphical side. I'm very liberated.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:43, Reply)

what the fuckity fuck is up fuckers?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:19, Reply)

yo fuckwit

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

alright you cunts still got 38 minutes of cunt day left. I did cheat at poker and take my drug friends money.
feels apt and righteous on cunt day.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:23, Reply)

so you lie and cheat and steal from your friends?
i can see why you would like it around these parts.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

Only once a week
and only with my stoned friends for 2pound poker. So that makes it ok yeah? I would get away with that in court for sure.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:25, Reply)

no
no you wouldn't. i would make sure you went down, boy.


(i'm good at that)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:28, Reply)

It's fun taking money off suckers though
if they paid attention they would see me rigging the deck. It's their fault really.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:28, Reply)

if you can rig the deck without them noticing then you deserve their money

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Alright Bob.
Ow biss?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:20, Reply)

see above hound harasser

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:23, Reply)

Yeah yeah.
Reply to the bird, not the dog fucker.

I know your game. (I wonder if RSwipe is ginger, thus outing Chomp).

You still planning on organising a Brizzle Bash?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:24, Reply)

Yeah I will sort something out I reckon. I will sound people out about potential dates. I thought you hated us internet folk anyway?

I am back to ginger birds as I think cool brunette has blown me out.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:27, Reply)

Sorry to hear the brunette has blown you out, rather than just blown you.
I do have a natural aversion to meeting 'people from the Internet', that remains.

But, for a cool kat, and man about town. If I know where and when you'll be drinking, I'll know where to avoid.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:29, Reply)

you'll be the first there sat in the corner getting all nervous.
you big poof.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:31, Reply)

Fuck that.
I'm a geezer!

Granted, a shy one. But I AM the life of soul of all social events.*

*My definition of 'life and soul' may differ to that of the event organiser.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:33, Reply)

I expect you to be doing whirlwinds with your cock by half past eight.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:34, Reply)

You starting this before 7am?
I'll be whirlwind-ing my cock by half eight, especially if Isobel Webster is doing the local news on BBC Breakfast.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:36, Reply)

not naturally ginger
but it's quite red at the moment courtesy of my sleek and expensive hairdresser (better than grey innit)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:27, Reply)

I'm not knocking (or otherwise) your choice of barnet tone.
It's just Bob gets unbearable with the ging-ers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:28, Reply)

he starts licking his screen

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:29, Reply)

you really are very mean to me.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:30, Reply)

I'm a mean person

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:34, Reply)

He has a wiper fixed to his screen.
It was paid for by the people who put on the 'Sunshine Coaches'.

Everytime you go to the cinema, you help Chomp.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:31, Reply)

alll these "chomp" references
are really going to fuck up the other chomp's vanity searches.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:36, Reply)

He'll have the last laugh
when we're all buried in his garden fertilising his tomatoes.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:37, Reply)

they won't grow in milton keynes
plastic manmade soil
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

He was more interesting as BobbyTheSeaHorse.
But he has canned that. For reasons best known to himself.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:38, Reply)

There's a BobbyTheBear on here. Too many animals
I am working on a new one though. It may debut tomorrow.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:39, Reply)

i think
you should name yourself after ME. like a tribute band.

i would enjoy that. well, not if you put "rachelswipe is a cunt" clearly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

Bobbyswipe
no way Jose! sounds like a policemans sanitary towel
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:42, Reply)

<engages sarcasm mode> Oooh, can't wait, I won't sleep tonight! <switches off>
Was that cutting or shit?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:41, Reply)

Both in a really gay way

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:42, Reply)

So you got wood then, yes?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

yeah but I had to think of Darth so I could, you know, finish off.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:47, Reply)

well hellooooooo
*rubs thighs*

now we're going out with each other do you want to come to the Bristol bash?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:29, Reply)

@Swipe.
See what I mean?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:31, Reply)

positively tame
compared to some of the weird and wonderful gazzes i get out of the blue from time to time!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:35, Reply)

we need some examples :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:36, Reply)

ah i'm not quite that mean
YET...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:38, Reply)

not named obviously haha
Damn just missed a bid on ebay :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:39, Reply)

Putting ebay to one side.
A similar education sees us making the same requests.

I blame Toner.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

Mad as a hatter
he once threw two boys up against a wall for coming into school late.

Though I can't blame Toner for everything, I was only there for a year
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

He was nails back in the day.
I remember having a row with him when he took us on a cross country run.

Apparently I wasn't making the effort, but I'd just had a tab and I had stitch.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:44, Reply)

you missed the most fearsome teacher
by a few years. She used to teach at St Bedes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:46, Reply)

Makes no difference. I'd have been a right cocky cunt who knew better and loved an audience.
I'd have loved that.....

(Just how mental was she?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:49, Reply)

She was tiny
but no-one messed with her- even the total cunts who'd disrupt anything. She just didn't mess about. No warnings or second chances. The best example I've ever seen was the mini-riot we had, she just jumped in and came out dragging two six foot lads, threw them into the classroom, told them to sit and then dived back in
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:51, Reply)

Fair play.
What did she teach?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

RE
She was a pretty good teacher. Oh yeah not forgetting her facing down Sasha 'I'm a woman now' S---- funniest thing ever
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:55, Reply)

What happened there?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:03, Reply)

Complete chav
wanted to attack one of the RE teachers (a timid mouselike person) and stayed after school. I happened to be handing in coursework so saw the whole altercation. She did the whole sashaying walk, and hand on hip as she proclaimed 'tell Mrs **** that Sasha 'the woman' is here now,' (she was about 15.) Absolutely violent little thug.

Other woman just stared coldly at her, faced her down. Was worried it would turn to blows, but 'Sasha' backed down, and took her threats (and as it turned out her knife) away with her
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Christ almighty.
We had a few kids from the travelling community there when I was at school, but there were never any blades.

If you had a row with someone, you sorted it out 'on the cobbles' - which is much better. You don't fall out with the nutters on account of you losing the 'fight'. Neither did the nutters go out of their way to annoy the 'normal/clever kids' as hitting someone would leave a mark.

With blades, anyone with the 'rage' is liable to use one.

I can't believe anyone would take a knife to school.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:11, Reply)

I assume the blade was on her
it wasn't produced, but she certainly carried it with her.

The school was a bit of a madhouse towards the end.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:12, Reply)

Just as well it closed.
The kids from the travelling community when I was there, were just 'fighting people'.

But they were all 'good Catholic lads'.... When it suited them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:14, Reply)

It wasn't a bad place
It gave me points on my UCAS form (I did my GCSES in a year there)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:15, Reply)

I'll reply to this post, as a reply to the original post. This has scrolled too far to the right.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:16, Reply)

what for??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:41, Reply)

Err. Bidding too late?
(I'm here all week).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:43, Reply)

A Ralph Lauren jumper

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

It would have been fake anyway.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:48, Reply)

I'm pretty good at spotting fakes
never bought one yet
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:50, Reply)

I thought ALL clothes on the internet were fake.
Thus making any originals that find their way online 'suspect'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

I usually ask for close up photos
especially of the labels (if they're designer) and obviously stuff with tags/proof of purchase is especially good
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

Are the clothes significantly cheaper on ebay?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:02, Reply)

yup
especially since although I do like designer clothing, I'm not a fashionista. I buy stuff that is pretty much undatable and not really very 'in' or 'out' for a decent price, and mix it with normal clothing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:04, Reply)

I'm the opposite.
I'd love to be like you with undatable. But I buy 'cutting design', once every 20 years and wear it when it has gone out of style.

Now, pass me my white espadrilles, I feel the urge to be cool.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:08, Reply)

haha
I try to be undatable but I'm sure anyone dedicated to fashion would find me out in an instant
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:09, Reply)

When I say 'undatable'
I was referring to the fact I'm 'single'.

(See what I did there? Clever play on words).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:12, Reply)

It's called a 'pune'

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:26, Reply)

You don't have to 'out' anyone.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:39, Reply)

Really?
What (aside from Edmund, assuming you were a 'victim') is he weirdest gaz you've received?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:37, Reply)

along the following lines
hiya just saw your photo and had to say i've been reading your stuff for years but now i know what you look like i was wondering if you fancied having sex with me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:39, Reply)

I was more eloquent than that. I even mentioned motor boating.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:40, Reply)

very true

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:41, Reply)

I assume that worked and you were rogered to within an inch of your life?
@Bob. Hahaha.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:43, Reply)

I just gazzes from tgb telling me I'm a dick.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:38, Reply)

Alright cockhats
So in the last 3 days I've had 2 job rejections, now meaning I've been rejected by 3 of the biggest engineering companies in the UK. Not really seeing the point in having done a degree at this point. Does anyone want to hire an assistant?

And it's never acceptable to put the heating on. We used it for a few hours last winter, and it made me sad.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:45, Reply)

Sorry to hear that POD
Request feedback on your application/interviews.

It can be really useful.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:47, Reply)

Main feedback:
"The other applicant had more experience, so we went with her."

Cocks.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:49, Reply)

Challenge that answers you get.
Acknowledge that someone else might have more experience, but try and get some specifics.

If it means you doing some unpaid work in a certain environment in exchange for 'experience' at a particular company, it might be worth taking it, just to have it on you C.V - even if it is 'making the tea' and 'doing the bins'.

Really push for the info though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:51, Reply)

I have a wide range of stuff on my CV
But that didn't help. And it took 2 weeks for them to get back to me.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:53, Reply)

Bad luck POD
anymore irons in the fire?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:48, Reply)

Nope
And there don't really appear to be many jobs going either. Joys.

I'm thinking of starting a new game called "punch the HR manager in the face".
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:50, Reply)

Shit house my friend.
have you approached any companies directly yet?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:52, Reply)

Yep
They either said:
a) We don't have any graduate positions going (Don't give me a graduate position then. Give me a proper position)
b) You don't have enough experience
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:54, Reply)

I did gaz you the details of a place in Bristol.
Any joy there?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:00, Reply)

I, as always, don't have enough experience
And the positions there are don't really match what I've done anyway.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Sorry to hear that mate.
What did you study exactly?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:12, Reply)

Chief
Have you tried BAE Barrow-in-Furness?

A mate who works there was staying with me last weekend and he says they're recruiting for fun right now.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:48, Reply)

Looked at BAE application
They didn't want people from my degree. How nice of them.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:51, Reply)

BAE is a big operation
Try going in at local level - as I said, they're recruiting in Barrow at the moment.

The downside is that you have to live in or near Barrow.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 23:55, Reply)

We've got a vacancy for a blowmoulding technician.
Are you an apprentice-trained and time-served mechanical or electrical engineer, preferably with experience in the plastics industry? And are you willing to work 12-hour shifts?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:21, Reply)

Glad it was still okay.
Did they still have two portacabins dumped by the play-ground and a selection of 'uninvited' ice-cream vans turning up on a regular basis?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:17, Reply)

yeah the portacabins became more or less permanent as I remember
and plenty of icecream vans. Not to mention the obligatory drugdealer lurking outside the gates
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:28, Reply)

We never had the drug dealers.
It was just a case of the odd '5th former' (god knows what that is in modern school parlance, I'd guess 9kg) girl who had a bloke who was allowed to drive.

They were deemed 'well sophisticated, innit'.

I remember 'canned'* drink getting banned after someone lobbed someone at some girls head and it causing a big bruise. This was worrying for me, as I'd set up a 'canned drinks business' (I'd worked out I could get shits loads of pop for fuck all squared from Tesco's in Eastville and knock it out at a profit). However, this was fine as my customers were still mad for warm fizzy drinks and the 5p per can I was making continuted.

*The only vending machine on site did 'tea', we campaigned for a payphone, but that was refused.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Sep 2010, 0:34, Reply)