Last Saturday night
I raided my sneaker collection for a pair of fresh Pumas, broke out a Rock Steady Crew shirt and headed off to the Forum to see the mighty KRS1 from Boogie Down Productions. I remember when his first LP came out in 1987.

It was excellent - I simultaneously felt really fucking old and 25 years younger.

What was the last juvenile thing you did and did you enjoy it or feel a complete tit?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:00, 172 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I bought
a Super Mousse.

It was horrible.

Morning Monty.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

What ho old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)

well.
i am not sure if this is juvenile but it certainly made me feel a bit feeble-woman. and a complete and total tit.

so i got home from some weekend-related shenanigans over the weekend (oddly enough) to a sight of horror. i live in one of those victorian red-brick mansion blocks and the landlord, which is the crown, works really hard at keeping it authentic. so i headed innocently to the big front door. only to find a spider the size of a fucking HAND sitting right. over. the. keyhole.

i am utterly terrified of spiders. don't get me wrong, i would have screamed if this had been a moneyspider, but this thing was seriously, distressingly large. there are many aussies in west london and this thing must have been one of them, it was that big. i panicked for a bit, but there was only one thing to do. i called the emergency number for the porter.

he was UNimpressed at being phoned at midnight to move a spider. he told me that i needed to get "that bloke i lived with to sort me out". when i pointed out that i lived by myself, he said that i should seriously re-think whether i should be allowed to do so!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

That is both tragic and highly comic in equal measures.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Ha ha
Morning Swipe, you big jessie.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

She needs A REAL MAN in her life. An arachnid slayer with excellent hair.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

*Imagines Monty stepping up to the plate*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

i am now thinking this
wanted: one house husband. must be good at spider-slaying and cooking. in return: free accommodation including sky tv, occasional use of sports car and deep-throat on demand.

shall i put it in loot?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I don't think that will be necessary.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)

oh really?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Does Sky TV
Include Sky Sports?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:18, Reply)

unfortunately yes
it comes as part of the package
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:27, Reply)

*considers submitting an application*
.........

*Decides against it, on account of PINK exercise equipment and the boxing training. I'm not stupid, I don't want a kicking for burning your toast*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

you'd be fine
i never have bread in, so i don't really eat toast.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

never always
, so I don't really eat toast my vagina
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Damn, I hate spiders
*considers therapy*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Ms Swipe, I would have exactly the same reaction.
And as an Aussie, I apologise.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

In my house it's the opposite way around
I have to valiantly go forth to do battle with the offending arachnid whilst my other half cowers in a different room whimpering and calling out "is it gone yet?"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

What a pussy
Mind you, a couple of friends of mine are so scared of them that they freak out even when they see a picture of a spider.
I had fun texting a picture of a massive evil spider to one of them while he was chatting up a lady...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

The only person I know with that kind of fear is a girl
so if I sent her a picture of a spider it wouldn't be 'lol LAD', she'd go apeshit at me.

She doesn't come to my Halloween parties because there are fake spider webs and stuff. At least that's what she tells me.....
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

That's a pathetic excuse
I think she just doesn't like you. Or thinks your house smells.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

It smells of awesome!
It actually smells of apple crumble at the moment because I made some last night. I also made Wiggy a little rammekin of crumble with no fruit because he doesn't like the apple part of apple crumble. Top girlfriending, right there.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

That is good work
Did you put cinnamon in the apple crumble?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

No, my favourite is toffee apple crumble
and the cinnamon is too overpowering when mixed with the toffee.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:04, Reply)

But I love cinnamon!
I can see it not mixing well with the toffee though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I read that as
Gave boyfriend bowl of sugary, floury stuff.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

yeah pretty much, it was just crumbled shortbread really.
he loved it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Me too
I had to deal with one about 2 inches across in Spain, and when I said 'I've got it, look, see?' and showed him (in a glass with cardboard over it, I might add) he screamed and told me to fuck off.
Big bloody jessie.
(berk, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

ooh kitty, kitty
i have a law society ethics question for you. hypothectically speaking only, of course..... say you had a case and you had promised it to a female barrister whom you knew well.

then you went out for drinks on thu night with a new set of chambers and met the most perfect man in the world APART FROM MONTY, who ticked every box from the deep to the shallow (right through to the shallowest point of having a double first from oxford and a masters in law from cambridge) APART FROM THE FACT THAT HE WAS NOT MONTY, who insisted that you stayed drinking with him at the end of the night and mentioned several times that he was single.

well. would it be unethical to instruct him instead so that you could go to conferences and court with nice hair and make-up instead of the scuzzy look you were sporting at thursday night's drinks?? surely not?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

*dejected face*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

see above ninja edits

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)

*still feels the sharp pain of rejection piercing my heart like a shard of blackness from Hades*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:40, Reply)

you're ok
i'll just use him as practice to make sure that my skills are honed for you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooooo!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I read that in the style of Lenny Henry's 'OOOKAAAY' from Tiswas.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

You are
Algernon Winston Spencer Castlereagh Razzmatazz

AICMFP
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Don't spend it all on bread and condensed milk.

(Cave Duck, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Bread and condensed milk sandwiches!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

and you judge my apple crumble sans apple?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Give him the next case
Bros before hos. Or sisters before misters, in your case.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:35, Reply)

haha
i had not heard the latter before!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I just made it up
Although I doubt I'm the only person in the world to have thought it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:37, Reply)

It's like you kids have never heard of The Beverley Sisters.

(Cave Duck, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Haha that's how the whole solicitor/barrister relationship works
none of it is based on professionalism. In fact there's a woman in my office who's schmoozing with a really fuck off hot barrister (who used to be an underwear model, like I know right?!) and he seems to have some fantastic cases on at the moment...
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

also
this guy is working on a big case involving my old firm (you may have heard of them as they were very big, were based in manchester and went into administration very recently...) and i REALLY want to know the gossip pillow-talk.

hang on, a barrister who used to be an underwear model? jesus.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I know.
I met him a few weeks ago and I think I actually made an OMG face. You could cut diamond on his jaw.

I think I know which firm you mean, we've nabbed a few of their clients. I was really surprised when they went under, I thought they were huge. The office in Spinningfields is well plush looking.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

maybe i should instruct him too
sod these female barristers for a laugh.

i wasn't, i'd been expecting it for a while - basically they got a £17M kickback from the spinningfields landlord. instead of taking it as a rent-free period, they divvied it up amongst the equity partners. then didn't commit them to having to repay it if they walked. then took they out a £20M loan. meanwhile the partners who had taken the cash walked as fast as they could, leaving the firm £20M in the hole with offices they couldn't sublet and massive amounts of rent to pay. the junior partners weren't told and are threatening to sue the senior partners. and four of the original senior partners are still on the hook as guarantors for the old premises at brown street.

what an almighty mess!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:04, Reply)

No way!
That's like something out of a John Grisham novel, I can't believe they would be that stupid. I can believe the greed though, the old firm I worked for paid me £11k as a secretary even when I'd been there years and begged and begged for a payrise. Then I found out they were paying the post boy £3k more than me because he was the son of a friend of the senior partner. When I'm a boss I'm going to be well nice to my lackies.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

yup
there was an interview in "the lawyer" with the ex managing partner, the comments run for about 25 pages, and they are very very scathing. i suspect the liquidators will be doing some investigating. you're absolutely right, greed killed off a great business and a great manchester name. it's a shame.

you can tell a lot more about someone by how they treat their lackeys, i think. just don't ask my ex-trainee (in my defence, he was a challenge to train!)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I definitely agree with that,
there are solicitors in this firm who will not give the secretaries the time of day unless they want a coffee making or something.

My old boss used to ring me up specifically to order me to make him a brew and once when he deemed it wasn't strong enough he made me go back and make it again. He then bollocked me for not smiling when I brought the second brew back. I'm surprised he didn't think I'd spat in it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

yeah
we have quite a few like that (we're pretty big, there's 2000 of us worldwide, so that allows for quite a lot of tools!).

i've never understood it myself, i spoil my secretary rotten - she makes my job 100000 times easier. although she does act like my mum and try to counsel me on whether i am eating properly/drinking too much/men!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:18, Reply)

think realise
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:24, Reply)

If you find any more, I'll have them.
I'm now a west Lahndahner and there aren't many local exotic pet shops. Pretty much all of my pets eat giant spiders. Or in one case are a giant spider...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:17, Reply)

drank orange squash
And had a minor tantrum, didn't enjoy either
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Living the dream, Amberl...

(berk, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Was it too
Orangy for Bob crows?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I have to say I found its taste offensively strong
No subtlety to it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)

A t the weekend I went to see a band whose first album came out in 1985.
Sadly, even in 1985 I was no longer a juvenile. So it doesn't count.
(Cave Duck, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Who did you see?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Martin Stephenson & The Daintees.

(Cave Duck, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Unlucky. They're shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

You're badly mistaken, sir.

(Cave Duck, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I was 1 year old in 1985.
Jus' sayin'.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I was born in 1985.
This makes you OLD.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Jus' ignorin' both of the above.

(Cave Duck, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:24, Reply)

You can turn your hearing aid down
BUT YOU CAN NEVER SILENCE THE TRUTH!
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

At my age truth takes a back seat.
The big issues are Is this food soft enough for me not to have to chew too hard? and Do those pants have an elasticated waistband?
(Cave Duck, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I've got shoes older than you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I've probably got stuff in the freezer that is even older again.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I was -3

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

You can piss off and all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Wasn't your giiiirrrrrrllllllllfrrrriiiiieeeeeend -3 as well?
Are you going to tell her to piss off?
You bastard
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Yeah. Everyone can PISS OFF.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:51, Reply)

I was 0
Telling me to piss off will end the universe
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Piss off.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:04, Reply)

That's one thing I did recently that was juvenile
Took the mick out of your girlfriend by saying "Ooo, how's your booooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyfffffrrrrrriiiiiiiiieeeeeeennnnnnd?" then giggling.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I just realised I have done this online and thus people have probably worked out who it is
Are we still pretending it's a secret?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I don't know
Are we? If people don't know by now, then they're stupid.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)

We are on the internet
People are so stupid they can't tell the difference between alcoholic and non-alcoholic beer
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

OH MY GOD, THE PENNY HAS DROPPED!
This pairing is a Good Idea if you ask me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I can't believe this.
I was paying for my pension in 1985.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I do juvenile stuff all the time and I still enjoy it
but Wiggy says I look like a complete tit and doesn't want to be seen with me.

I used to love jumping through big piles of leaves until he pointed out that there's probably loads of hidden dog poop under there.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

It's not a proper autumn walk if it doesn't include kicking piles of leaves about.

(Cave Duck, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Likewise
Catching leaves as they fall.

All part of the autumn experience.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Autumn days when the grass is jewelled
and the something something chestnut shell. Ok I thought I could remember that hymn better than I actually could.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

The freshers arrive this week
So I'll get back to you on that one.

Good morning.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

My heartiest greetings to you, young sir.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

And a very good morrow to you to, dear boy.
Sounds like it was a good weekend, then?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

It was heavy but a great laugh.
How I got talked into ingesting MDMA powder at all (I haven't touched it for the best part of a decade), let alone at a hip hop show, I do not know, but it was fucking hilarious.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I farted in front of the cat's face.
He wasn't best pleased.
( girlinthehole, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

You should get a Japanese cat.
They love that kind of thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Another Maru?

( girlinthehole, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

My cat despises the smell of farts
He gives me such a disgusted look
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I watched Ponyo a while back,
I loved it even though it was a animated kids film.
It was japanese though which means that it ticked the smug and pretentious boxes I have to pick before admitting liking a film.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I got on some big exercise machine in John Lewis
There I was in my jacket and shoulder bag, with riding boots on, striding away, giggling like a mong.
Then djtp came over, pointed at the 'do not attempt to use the equipment' sign, helped me off the machine, and promptly facepalmed.

This is not as bad as the fact that me and my mum have played with John Lewis's display model of Butterscotch the animatronic pony so many times that they remove the batteries when we're in the store.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:41, Reply)

My mum is fuming about it
"Do they know how much I spend here? What if I'm trying before I buy?"
"Mum, you've been 'trying' for 18 months now."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Well you know what to get her for Christmas anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

We almost got one second-hand from my hairdresser's little girl.
Beeatch reneged at the last minute.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:53, Reply)

OMG OMG OMG
That horse scared the shit out of me! I stroked its mane as I walked past and it fucking turned and looked at me. It scared me so I flicked it on the nose and it reared its head and snorted at me!

FO SERIOUS.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Also, have you played with the parrot hand puppet that they have nearby?
It makes the best squeak noise ever, it's exactly like the bird from UP!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

The parrot is next.
I haven't even GOT to the labrador yet.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)

how dare you speak of Butterscotch thusly!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:50, Reply)

Butterscotch My Mum
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 12:51, Reply)

It's like £300
you could get a real horse for that.

Maybe.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Hence we just play with the one in JL

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 13:20, Reply)

I googled "butterscotch animatronic pony john lewis" and you're the fourth entry
But that pony is crazy. I want a triceratops though!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 13:58, Reply)

Hahah how much of a FAIL am I!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 14:21, Reply)

I guess my weekend was a bit juvenile
As all I did was play computer games. I slaughtered thousands of zombies in Dead Rising 2, giggling like a mong when I dressed the character in a gimp suit and bludgeoned zombies with a purple ft-long 'massager'.

I then fired up Battlefield Bad Company 2 and sniped people in the face gleefully.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

I have to say the ad for dead rising 2 makes me laugh every time
especially the bit at the end when he's on a pink tricycle.
Yes MONTY I am VERY easily amused because I'm a child and like eating chocolate bars and all the rest of it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I haven't seen the ad
But I have cycled away from a zombie horde on a pink tricycle.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

how am I not aware of the existence of that game?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

It's not out on the Wii
But you can get a version of it, just with far far less zombies on screen. At one point there must have been over 300 zombies on screen in this, it was fucking epic!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Have you got a Babybel in your 'My Little Pony' lunchbox (with matching flask) today?
Or are you just pleased to see me?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I'm never pleased to see you

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I watched Up last week
That's a kids film (supposedly), but it's fucking superb.

Also, does snogging a munter while drunk count as juvenile?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:45, Reply)

It's based on their age rather than how they look.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:48, Reply)

2 years younger

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Nonce

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Wasn't there 9 years between you and your famous victim from here?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Who called you a munter?

( girlinthehole, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:49, Reply)

hahaha!
Love it!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Now that's just cruel

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I just can't relate to Lady Gaga's songs like I can to eminem's lot.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)

This weekend I was UBER GEEKY
I'm deffo going to get this job, I can't see how not.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Yay! Fingers crossed
as you need to feed me as I won't have any cash
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

It's coolio, you'll find something, deffo !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I burst into tears because someone didn't do as I asked
Though I was very drunk and it was an affront to my dignity and attractiveness, and at least I wasn't in the same room when I started crying.

Still a very childish thing to do though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:52, Reply)

What did you ask?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:56, Reply)

He wouldn't kiss me.
And you know how I get when that happens.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

face punchy?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

No, I did slap him with my handset.
I was dressed as a telephone.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)

What?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Yes.
really.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

It's a bit like a telegram but more modern.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:03, Reply)

hahahaha

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Ah, I see now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)

You are Lady GAGA
AICMFP
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I had my Telephone-video homage shoes on
they're revoltingly Americana.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:02, Reply)

*flashbacks*
*thousand yard stare*
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I'm sorry about that, darling.
The December one. I have nothing to apologise for what happened in July.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:59, Reply)

What did you ask them to do?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:57, Reply)

At least you didn't do it in front of them
And it could have been worse, you could have stamped your feet*

*yes, I actually saw someone do this in a pub at the weekend.
(berk, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 10:58, Reply)

It was just quite embarrassing
as we'd got off before, and of course this sent me into a "WHAT AM I THAT I'M SO UNATTRACTIVE I'M SO ALONE" thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Ah, well. Balls to him
He clearly doesn't know he's on to a good thing.
(berk, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:04, Reply)

There is no way in the world where I could be said to be a "good thing"

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:07, Reply)

How do you figure that?
You got compliments off Monty the other day, and he doesn't seem to like anything.
(berk, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I'm a general nightmare.
Monty complimented my new hair as last time I saw him it looked like, to paraphrase him, an mentally disturbed clown or something.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I'm sure that's not true.
The nightmare bit, anyway. Cheer up - being miserable is a catch-22; the more you mope the more miserable you'll feel until you end up a mascara covered mess sobbing to a My Chemical Romance cd. Nobody wants that.
(berk, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:21, Reply)

*shakily picks up phone receiver*
*Mashes keypad with my tear covered fist*
"I-I... *deep breath* N-need a *deep breath* Waaaaaaaaambulance"
*drops reciever to the floor*
*collapses in a heap*
(PsychoChomp, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Calm down, darling.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Now now Lampy, you need the confidence, even if it ain't real, pretend you've got a pare. Men love women who have a pare.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Would you love ME if I had a pair?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Are you now hitting on gonz?
Does this mean I'm next in line?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:28, Reply)

AND THEN THE HOUSE ITSELF

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Fucking TGB is a bit like fucking a house
But it's more like fucking the street outside.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)

+facing the park

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I can't say I'd love you, it's a strong word, there is a lot of competition out there for my affections, such as Sushi and Al....
... but maybe we can explore your feelings for me and you can take me out on a date, I'd be up for that, something casual-smart with an extensive cocktail menu.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I disagree
You're funny, you're intelligent, you're a cracking girl, and you're by no means ugly at all.

However, I would advise against searching for 'good thing' on google images with filtering off. It's a bit odd...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)

See?
VALIDATION ONLINE.
(berk, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)

No, horrific pandering.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Nah
I have no aim to snog you, get into your bed, into your knickers, even a kiss on the cheek. Once upon a time I'm sure things would have been different, but now they're not.

I just thought it'd be fair to express my opinion, maybe give you a little pick-me-up. Evidently it hasn't worked. Shame.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Nothing turns me on more than standing outside the pub having a fag with someone...
... and they say "Get ya' willy out, I fancy some spunk" and you laugh and say 'no', and then they burst into tears crying "All i want is some spunk, why won't anyone spunk in me? Oh god, life is so unfair, my friend Jane got macdonalds for lunch, I don't see why she can get macdonalds and I can't get some spunk. WAH OH WOE IS ME".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I watch "Horrible Histories" every saturday morning and larf my arse off
*shrugs*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I was watching My Goldfish Is Evil on Saturday, it was pretty funny
and Spongebob does have its moments of sarcastic hilarity, usually involving the bitter octopus.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I watch Spongebob as well
The Spongebob movies has quite a lot of "adult" humour in it, Patrick in fishnet stockings for example
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I like that show.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:22, Reply)

And I was sure you were going to take the piss
shows what I know (nuffink)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:25, Reply)

They have actually had some decent bands do musical cameos in it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:29, Reply)

there's one scene that made me think of you
Spongebob has made a list of all the fun things he and Squidward are going to do and as he hands it to him he says "I've written the ones that are SUPERFUN in red". Squidward says "but they're all red" and Spongebob goes "I KNOW!" and beams. The look on Squidward's face made me think of you and laugh for hours.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 13:12, Reply)