Jeff hasn't been on today
his "date" must have killed him.

How you would hide a body?
Answers of "in your vagina" are DULL AND VOID

LUNCH! ^DINGDING_DING
I've had a tuna baguette I am skipping off to the shop in a minute to buy sweeties :D
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:27, 77 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Er, dunno.
*Awaits punchline*

I'm not hungry yet as I still feel like shit and have been awake for just over an hour.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Aww what's up Pa?
*munches carrot*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Full of lurgy the lot of us.
Still, on the bright side it means we should be fit and healthy for the bash in TWO WEEKS TIME!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
and

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I have to be brutally frank but I'm getting rather excited about this bash.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

So am I
and it's getting bloody huuuuuge as well!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:45, Reply)

Take care of it, man! It'll ruin the line of your slacks.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Dude, they ain't 'slacks'.
Not any more anyway.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:25, Reply)

I reckon he fell asleep on the bus home and is stuck in the bus depot.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:31, Reply)

This could well be a trufax.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Afternoon
A mixed night for me. Pub was okay, turned out it wasn't a date (as such) there were half a dozen of us in the pub, but I had a nice enough time.

Bad times. I foolishly got some food post pub to eat on the walk home. Within an hour of eating, I was being sick. I'm still being sick.

Blousie. I'm still yours.

TGB. What episodes of Pawn Stars did you watch?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:37, Reply)

Season 1 episodes 1 - 9
Yes. I watched a lot. Yes I will be watching more later.

If I had wifi at work I'd be watching it now
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Who is your favourite character?
And what has been your favourite purchase?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Chumlee, hahaha
My fav non-purchase was that gun the guy purchased for $800 and was selling because it was that or the wife and it turns out its fake and worth about $75 hahahahahha.

I loved that coke machine they did up that was sweet
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

what is this pawn stars that you speak of?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Woo!
I can't bear rejection.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

WHAT SHALL I DO THIS WEEKEND THAT COSTS LESS THAN £30

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Cheap hooker?

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I have no idea what the cost of a hooker would be,
must be more that £30 though?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Not a cheap one.
The ones that hang around the bus depot with mini mini skirts and greasy hair. The ones that are druggies and have 3 children by 6 different men.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

Oh, that doesn't sound like much fun at all.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:37, Reply)

according to some random newspaper article
you can get full sex for £15 in parts of London. Not sure what the going rate for Milton Keynes is
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I think current prices are 2 rounds of Jaegerbombs and some compliments.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

£12

(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Is this name change an attempt to get cat face to gaz you?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

apparently in Burnley it's £2 for a handjob
Srsly, £2. My lunch cost more than that.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:55, Reply)

But you could do two at once and make four quid.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:12, Reply)

In the brothel opposite my house they are precisely £30
(I am told)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Drink £29 worth of alcohol

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

go for a walk
go to a museum
rape
draw a picture
read a book
suicide
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I read that as "play wow and watch TV in your bedroom"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Was going to put WOW
but saw it as a given. I am downloading the free trial to see what the fuss is about.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

If you want I can get you a refer a friend code
which gives you a bunch of bonuses.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

cool gaz it through, that would be appreciated.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:42, Reply)

nothing
about this is "cool", bobby. NOTHING.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Like I told you my before my learned friend
I will try anything once. If it's shit I will dismiss it. If it's good I'll give it a chance. If you don't try you don't know.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

NOOOOO!!!
"Tell you what I'll do I'll make the first one free, and when you want some more just come back to me" as the song says.

You'll be needing this: www.wowdetox.com/
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

HA
I'm only gonna try it. Fallout New Vegas is out soon and that will take over my free time for a while.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

www.cracked.com/article_18461_5-creepy-ways-video-games-are-trying-to-get-you-addicted.html
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:11, Reply)

*gently discards controller and backs out of the room*

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:16, Reply)

That article has helped me spot when FB games get dull and work
and I move onto a new one.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:26, Reply)

He got some, phoned in sick and is getting more.
That's my guess. I reckon the Chinese near me might take a human body.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I'm starving
so so hungry. I might get a sandwich. That involves walking however.

To the question, I'd dismember the body, then hide it piece by piece
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

How far would you spread the parts?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

A hundred miles.
Or post bits and pieces in bags.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

^this
put each piece in a ziploc freezer bag and drop in various neighborhood bins under cover of darkness.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I have one of those Innocent veg pots
butternut squash curry or something. Should be good.

I'd prefer a guilty meat pot, to be honest.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Bought some yesterday gonna have one later
they look pretty good to be fair.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

They are yum.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

I reviewed their Tuscan Bean Stew on the website a while back
pointing out that it was god-awful and tasted like it had been shat out by an angry badger with IBS. I did mention that I really liked all the other ones, though.

They just emailed me back saying they're going to send me a voucher for a free veg pot, annoyingly the day after I bought this one. Tcha!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

"Guilty meat pot" is my new favourite euphemism.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)

Prop it up in a corner
and stick a lampshade on it.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:34, Reply)

She killed him with a hammer and tied him to some weather balloons
With the hope that he'll land somewhere in the North Sea, and remain undiscovered for a while, at least until seals have eaten enough to remove any offending fingerprints/DNA. Either that or he has a massive hangover and is still in bed.

Friday lunch brings lasagna to my plate, and a smile to my face. Win.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Sometimes you scare me Pod

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Really? Someone eating lasagna scares you?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Yeah I'm scared pickleface will jump out
and glass them with a bottle of non alcoholic beer
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Aw man, now I'm going to be scared of my lunch
*sadfaces*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Well, first you'd need some fairly sturdy bin bags, some industrial saws and a herd of very hungry pigs.
Failing the pigs, you could just starve some b3tans for a week. Those fuckers can chew through bone.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:35, Reply)

They'll still only eat it if there's ketchup available.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:38, Reply)

Al has already disposed of half the total Serbian war crime bodies
as a mid-morning snack.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Best way to get rid of a body is to hack it up in a slaughterhouse, de-bone it, mince the meat and add it to sausage meat.
Then cremate the bones, grind them up and sprinkle the ash out at sea.

Try getting human DNA off the bloody walls of a slaughterhouse.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

I assume your lunch will include fava beans and a nice Chianti?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Had that for supper last night. I'm having Foie Gras made from made from an 11 year old child's liver followed by a traffic warden's sweetbreads.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:52, Reply)

How would I hide a body?
Hah. I'm not falling for that one. Again.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:36, Reply)

on a church roof
seems to work for at least a month.

no lunch today as i forgot i have to go and teach a small nigerian child how to read. last week we drew pictures and he coloured my nails in fluorescent green. this week i have made sure they are already painted!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:40, Reply)

when did you fly to Nigeria?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:43, Reply)

on my baguette

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

When not how!

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I am genuinely stumped by this.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:44, Reply)

it's a work thing
we help out one of the local schools.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

work community service
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Ah.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Community service innit.
Probably part of her punishment for shoplifting at Harrods.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Harrods Poundstretcher
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:48, Reply)

but then
i wouldn't have passed my CRB check.

or would i?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 12:49, Reply)

In some woodland near where I live.
They never find bodies hidden in woodland. Ever. Definitely not by dog walkers. Just doesn't happen.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:13, Reply)

In some bins round the back of the bar where the bash is being held.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 13:14, Reply)