Sorry to thread stomp, but this has to be the best review of a pub ever.
"Full of butch, hairy, predatory lesbians. If you have a half decent girlfriend, don't take her here; she'll be leered at by these vile 'women'."

Oddly enough this is a description of the bash venue in two weeks time. Could be interesting...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:38, 81 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hahahahahhahahahahahahah *wheeze* ahahahahahahahahahh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Most of the other reviews aren't quite as, ahem, colourful...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:43, Reply)

Shame.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:47, Reply)

See.
If bashes came with that sort of advertisment, there would be more incentive to attend.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:44, Reply)

Glad I'm not coming then
I don't have a girlfriend

*cries**wanks*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:44, Reply)

Are you not coming? For shame!

btw you about Sunday? *unnamed B3tan* and I will be having a lazy East London Sunday aka inevitable booze and drugs session...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:47, Reply)

do you want to invite *unnamed b3tan* to the lunch I mentioned on Sun 7th?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

I wondered if it was a 'chaps' thing so didn't suggest it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:54, Reply)

Doesn't have to be a gentleman only event - I'll leave it with you.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:55, Reply)

OK I shall ask
I'm off to inspect my clean flat now - woo hoo!

Have a great weekend y'all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:59, Reply)

You could always try 'turning' one of them.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:47, Reply)

I am looking forward to the bash even more now.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Haha maybe ill finally pull at a bash
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:05, Reply)

hahahahahahaha
You'll pull a Chumlee.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:06, Reply)

should be easy to make it look like an accidental death
If I tired of him though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:14, Reply)

You'd love to get spit-roasted
By Chumlee and the Old Man.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:19, Reply)

im going to save this vomit
For when I see you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:21, Reply)

I've got enough vomit of my own at the moment.
As for 'when you see me' the answer to that is 'Never!'

(Unless the worlds most awesome bash was organised and it had a 'buddy' scheme running for newbie losers like me).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:24, Reply)

the worlds most awesome bash has been organised!
And I'm sure lab will be your buddy
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:25, Reply)

What makes it awesome?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:29, Reply)

have you not seen the guest list!

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:32, Reply)

Hell yeah!

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:38, Reply)

Aren't you crossing the floating harbour for the wedding bash in December?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:20, Reply)

Hadn't planned to.
Meeting people from the Internet is scarey.

I'll just go to the Flyer the night before and put twenty quid in an envelope and leave it behind the bar so you can have a drink on me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:39, Reply)

Jeff is a girly pants.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:42, Reply)

Jeff like to wear girly pants.
But that's just a comfort thing.

You saying in this evening Blousie?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:48, Reply)

I am.
I have a busy day tomorrow.

And you?
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

Still feel rotten.
I've had an omelette and have kept that down, but still feel rough.

What are you doing tomorrow?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:51, Reply)

Take nephew to his dads in Manchester in the morning.
Tattoo in the afternoon.
Tapas and pub in the evening.

That must have been one dodgy kebab.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:52, Reply)

This snatching on the nephew....
You are Shannon Matthews mother AICMFP.

Your new tattoo... will it read 'Hands Off. Property of JeffTheDogFucker'?

Pub sounds good.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:55, Reply)

His mother will be glad to see the back of him for a couple of days.
It will read property of Jeffthedogfucker, but in Tibetan script.

Finally have a decent pub where I live with live bands and an over 25 door policy.

What you up to?
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:58, Reply)

Depends how I feel to be honest.
I've got options this weekend, but I'm hoping to make a sufficient recovery to be able to spend at least on night in the pub.

How many tatts have you got already, and what are you getting done tomorrow?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:05, Reply)

Nothing wrong with a quiet weekend to sort out your tummy.
I have a buddha on my shoulder. The word breathe on my wrist and I'm getting some tibetan script on the top of my arm. A circular design.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:09, Reply)

Why the word 'Breathe'?
Is it a reminder incase you forget from time-to-time?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:10, Reply)

I used to get bad panic attacks.
Breathing slowly and deeply helped. It also ties in with the buddhist thing. A few reasons really. It's also a reminder to take a deep breath and do something out of your comfort zone. Life is short.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:13, Reply)

Woo, outside comfort zone!
It's why I don't feel uncomfortable walking around the town centre with a camera anymore.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:15, Reply)

Life is too short.
I never knew you were a committed Buddhist.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:32, Reply)

I'm not committed.
It just makes a lot of sense.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:34, Reply)

I'll go along with that.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:42, Reply)

A few of us are going to meet in advance rather than turning up as sad lonely wasters on our own. Venue tbd.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:44, Reply)

I shall wait till everyone is there and make my entrance.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:46, Reply)

Are you bringing your own red carpet?
BTW - laptop pr0n v bad and quite sinister it turns out - some of it illegal. Over 4000 images. Spoken to the filth, got a ref # from them and have to take it a cop shop on Monday.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:49, Reply)

: /

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:50, Reply)

Not good but I have to protect myself and the company. More importantly he needs to at least questioned about it

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:54, Reply)

How illegal is/was the stuff?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:56, Reply)

Some v young looking, some scrambled images that I cannot access (nobody does that without a reason) and other things I won't mention

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:01, Reply)

Don't blame you for reporting it
If he knew this stuff was on there, he'd have been better off offering to replace the laptop, claiming that the company one had been damaged/stolen or something.

Do you think he was expecting you to look at the history, or do you think he thought he'd cleared everything?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:06, Reply)

Does seem strange that he gave it you without clearing everything off.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:10, Reply)

He didn't give it to me!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:31, Reply)

Replied to wrong post but you get the gist.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:35, Reply)

I do get the gist.
Why not start a new weekend thread?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:41, Reply)

Go on then.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:42, Reply)

He cleared everything except the "clothes peg" image.
He had also deleted a load of company data so I used some software called "Undeleter" which restores deleted files. That was then I found all the other stuff.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:44, Reply)

Ahhh!

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:44, Reply)

*Imagines the police plotting a massive wank-fest*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:52, Reply)

This is quite likely, I know one person who sources his bugle from some in CID - there's a fine line between being in the filth and being crook

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:55, Reply)

A copper once said similar to me.
Turns out some of the drugs that get taken off the streets get put back on them again by the Old Bill.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:57, Reply)

I saw that review and got very excited.
I like butch lesbians. They know how to treat a lady.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:37, Reply)

Finger's like a gorilla and a tounge like a labradoor in a peanutbutter factory.
,)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

fuck sake, gonz
someone so pretty shouldn't say such vile things
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 18:52, Reply)

I just did a real life lol when I found this

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:10, Reply)

Does anyone have a tranny brother/sister? Because I want to make a shirt for them that say s"My sister has is the best brother in the world"

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:11, Reply)

Holy fuck, I've just looked, there are like 30-40 people coming !
Seriously ! I don't think I've been to such a big b4sh before.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:06, Reply)

We'll tie some string to your wrist and then we won't lose you.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:09, Reply)

But seriously, 30-40 people ! Just think about it !
I won't be able to remember anyone's names, esspesh the blue namers. They'll all be saying to me in unison "so, you're gonz from the internet, I'm quite a fan [and/or] I hate you.", and it'll be like kids all saying "Good Morning Mister [teacher].... Good Morning Everyone !".

And then they'll be someone on here who I've dissed, or panda'd, worst than chompy, 3 years ago... and they'd expect me to remember it when I don't even know what I said this morning even though I'm pretty sure I posted something.

AND THEN they'll be the old "I'm going to the bar, can I get you a drink?" and holy fuck that's going to be one expensive round and I really don't want to seem rude, by turning anyone down, and I really don't want it to drink 30-40 drinks. Even if I'm only drinking Red Bull, that'll be too much for me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:16, Reply)

Oh god, imagine me on 30-40 cans of red bull !!!!!
Just think about it, I'd be so hyper that not even 25mg of diazipam and 300mg of amyltriptaline would bring me down, not even in the slightest. I won't be able to sleep for a month.

AND AND, AAAAND, worst thing that might happen, I might actually pull, I've got confidance and stuff now so I might, donno, might not, but i might and then all sorts of horrible things would happen, someone might see me naked or call me 'gonz' in bed ! I don't think I could be more freaked out than if someone calls me 'gonz' in a real-life sexual context.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:19, Reply)

Calm down dear.
It's only a bash.
( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:19, Reply)

its too late i fear

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:26, Reply)

We'd better bring a brown paper bag in case he hyperventilates.

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:27, Reply)

we should bring about 20

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:29, Reply)

For your head
Edit: Lab stand-in reporting for duty
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:47, Reply)

It's going to be awesome
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:10, Reply)

Srs, right, if you scratch the left of your nose with your right hand, we're going for a fag for 10 minute, visa-versa.
We need a signal, like Baseball.

I think if you pull some bloke, then that should be the signal for "I think I'm in there".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)

how about a fonz thumbs up?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:26, Reply)

Yeh', that'll do.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:52, Reply)

What if she wants to scratch herself, you know, her personal area
only she doesn't want other people to see and wants you to run distraction by standing in front of her so no-one will see?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:25, Reply)

Yeah, it is getting quite large.
Wasn't expecting that...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 19:48, Reply)

I just looked at where it is, Kings X.
That's quite easy for me, no changes or anything.

I might bring something to the party for everyone, I donno what yet.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 20:13, Reply)

The missus is still threatening to bring you baklava...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:11, Reply)

Bless her but she'll never get round to making it : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 21:14, Reply)

OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN =DDDD

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 8 Oct 2010, 22:27, Reply)