It's official, I'm too old to party.
What are you too old to do anymore?

Alt Q:What would you tell your 16 year old self if you could send a message back in time?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:16, 143 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm too old to ride on the slide at the local park.
As I found out when I took my nephew to the park the other week. (Before you start calling me a nonce).

I'd tell my 16 year-old self lots of things. Most of which I've moaned about on here.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:19, Reply)

Jeff I think we are the last men standing.
I would tell your 16 year old self to buy lot's of weed and give it to a young 8 year old called Andy.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:22, Reply)

Like you did?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:23, Reply)

I am Howard Marks
ai-get high in wales.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)

A girl I used to go out with used to get her weed from Howards supply
When she was a student at Bangor.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:26, Reply)

I heckled Howard Marks when he was doing his live tour thing
I'll be honest, my heckling was a little out of place, not one of my prouder moments, damn vodka.
( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:28, Reply)

Mr Nice was a crap book, no interest in the film.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:31, Reply)

Bollocks to that too old stuff, I was at a club 'til 7 this morning and I'm fucking ancient.
I'd tell him to get a haircut.
( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:22, Reply)

How old are you to be clubbing till 7?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:23, Reply)

96 3/4

( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:27, Reply)

Well, at that age
You'll be getting up every 15 minutes to go for a piss, you might as well make the most of it I suppose.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:30, Reply)

I lasted 40 minutes at freshers before I was home smoking drugs and watching the inbetweeners.
which was better than the rest of the series so far.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)

I've got it on now.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:25, Reply)

i've not seen it at all
but it sounds like the kind of thing i would like
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:26, Reply)

It might be a bit low-brow for you Swipe
Even allowing for the fact you're northern.

Watch episode one of the first series on 4OD (you'll find it on YouTube), they are only half-an-hour long, you'll work out pretty quick if you'll like it.

How was the quiz?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:28, Reply)

racist
you being anti-northern, not the quiz!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)

How was the quiz?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)

see my whining below!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:49, Reply)

They are all on 4od my friend.
How's you? good weekend with family?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:28, Reply)

lovely thank you
but my god i was glad to get on a civilised roof terrace with a glass of pink by sunday afternoon!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)

glass of pink?
does your obsession hold no bounds?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:35, Reply)

ha
oh come on, blush sancerre is lovely!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:49, Reply)

if it's not got apples in it's gay

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:00, Reply)

It's a load of pony.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:30, Reply)

How did the quiz go?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:31, Reply)

erm..............................
....... :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:34, Reply)

Bad news?
Tell dozer all about it.

Were the anagrams correct?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:34, Reply)

the questions were really mean
from the stuff i should have known, and didn't (eg name 5 countries that the blue danube passes through) to specific stuff about the road the pub was on. er, do i live in ealing? no!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:48, Reply)

So for the same reason
Not everyone who goes on Who Wants To Be a Millionare doesn't walk away with the Jackpot.

The right questions didn't come up? Such as 'What is this pink bit of gym equipment used for?' 'Who made these expensive shoes' and the bonus round for 100 points 'Property Law'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:56, Reply)

EXACTLY!!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:57, Reply)

I'll write better questions next time!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)

he was an utter sadist

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:00, Reply)

Was he tall, thin and a cross between Mani and Weller?
(Just making sure it's not me)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Ta for the reminder
*downloads*
( broadsword, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:26, Reply)

That's because freshers stuff is a load of bollocks.
It's probably me being the most cynical and miserable nineteen year old in the world, but all that fancy dress/UV shite is most certainly not for old Barry.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Fall in love...
...too many experiences to be completely naive again. Oh well.

ALT Q - Wear condoms. That way you won't be the only student in your year who attends graduation with pushchair and baby in it. Not of course that I haven't been overjoyed to be a dad.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:31, Reply)

You like the wire so you are ok with me.
Kitty is stupid ignore her.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:37, Reply)

Kitty's not stupid. What's going on?
Have Kitty and the new kid had a to-do?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:39, Reply)

No !
not that I am aware of. I just used the word "re-up" and she told me off for quoting The Wire. I then told her off for quoting Sex and the City so it's a score-draw, I reckon...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:40, Reply)

Oh, that's just banter then!
And our Bob's being Dot Cotton.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:41, Reply)

She keeps telling me off for liking the wire.
She is cool really. No nothing of the sorts. How are you boss?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:41, Reply)

Alright Robert,
Been to work, had some Steak McCoys and free booze.
What more could a girl want?
How's you?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:42, Reply)

Pot Noodle?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:43, Reply)

Fuck that shit
For less money you can have lovely egg noodles and the ingredients of your choice.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:45, Reply)

good yeah
cheese and onion mccoys are better mind. I lasted 40 mins at freshers and gave up. Too old for the skins crew. It was horrid. Not a band shirt or doc marten in sight. Just luminous nastiness.

edit - roota, the new kid mentions cats in his profile. Just saying like. My spidey sense is tingling.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:51, Reply)

Freshers are tasteless whores
on the whole
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:52, Reply)

including me, I rocked a ponytail first day back,
I look like a terrorist on my id.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)

Thanks for that !
I have no problem with Kitty or indeed anybody. Me not falling in love again (I think / hope) is just due to cynicism bred from experience. Anyway, off to the TV room to watch a film...laters.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:39, Reply)

I thought I was too old to party
But I managed ok on Saturday night. I moshed and everything.
When I eventually got up on Sunday I made a fry-up as well.

16-year-old Roota? "You'll be alright kid, all this shit will make you wiser than most of your mates. Your family might be mentalists but they adore you. Ditch the mental lezza if you can, but if you can't, that's fine too. You'll learn. Oh, and the weight thing? You're gonna go up three dress sizes and still manage to be juuuust on the right side of fat, so have that pizza for fuck's sake!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:37, Reply)

Fuck 15 year olds.
Alt: You're prettier than you think. Plus, don't eat so much. Stay skinny.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:39, Reply)

Balls to staying skinny, See above.
Nowt sexier than confidence.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:40, Reply)

I'm not confident- eating too much made it worse.
I'm having a makeover inside and out at the mo. Dunno if I should chop all my hair off (it's quite damaged from bleach, and maybe I'll get my curls back)

I had metal put in my face today. OMG SO ALTERNATIVE
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:44, Reply)

Get confident before you get skinny.
and you'll decide not to bother.
By the way, I'm not an idiot, I'm not suggesting you get obese. That's taking the piss.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:50, Reply)

I think I might do both in tandem.
Besides, I'm never going to be skinny again- I wasn't even that skinny to start off with, always had tits and hips. Going to aim for a size 10- 2 dress sizes is achievable.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:51, Reply)

That's what fat people say to kid themselves.
*kisses washboard stomach*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:45, Reply)

And nothing more annoying than A FAT GIRL WITH BALLS OF PERSONALITY
/Wormulus' epic flounce
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:45, Reply)

I know actual fat birds who are sexy bitches.
Anyone, fat or thin, who has no confidence, is not a sexy bitch.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:51, Reply)

I know a couple of girls I've not realised are "fat" because I've been distracted by how pretty they are
or how confident they are.

I guess I'm not really like that though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:52, Reply)

it really does depend
I have a size 16 friend who is pretty but not epically so. Yet she has so much confidence it is unbelievable and continually has a boyfriend
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)

I've not had a boyfriend while I've been a size 14.
Had one that fucked me over at size 12, and had one constantly when I was 8-10.

SOMETHING'S TELLING ME SOMETHING
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:56, Reply)

it's telling you
that while you feel fat you feel unconfident. Nothing to do with size just confidence

Fuck I've had a lot to drink. It's bollocks. I want to be thin as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)

I need to start the gym.
Plus- you still considering something next weekend? I'm more than happy to come down :)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:03, Reply)

I worked with a girl for 9 years before I realised that she's massive.
And that was because I saw her from far away from behind.
She's gooorgeous and confident and wears shit that suits her.
It means fuck all, but in my moments of weakeness I long to be a size 8 again. Bullshit. When I was a size 6/8 I looked like a Ukrainian crack whore.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:56, Reply)

I try to dress to my shape
I do actually like my basic shape. I just need to do some work on it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)

Ditto

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)

it does make a huge difference
there is a tipping point for most girls before and after which her sex-appeal to most men drops off dramatically - some of my friends swear this is accurate to the pound!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)

and even then it varies
though as one person told me I looked too clever to be pretty
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)

the clever thing... don't get me started on that hobbyhorse!!
all men say they want intelligent girlfriends. then when they find out you are actually quite bright (and esp if you earn more than they do), an awful lot of them actually don't like it. they want girls who are ALMOST as bright as they are, it turns out, not possibly brighter!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:08, Reply)

I've found this :(
they need someone to listen, not someone to talk to.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:10, Reply)

yup
and their fragile little egos get dented easily too!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:12, Reply)

What mugs, getting a suga-mama would be awesome.
Right, I'm off to work, L8taz potatoes.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 7:19, Reply)

Seriously, any bloke that won't go with you on just the basis that you're a bit large... ain't worth the time of day.
The only reason a bloke should care about a girl's size is when eaither she makes an issue out of it due to looks, or because her health is in a serious bad way.

I've been with some pretty big girls, and to tell you the truth, I didn't even notice and thought mates were talking bull.

Gimmi a big girl, or small girl, or whatever size... with a decent personailty, over a girl who's textbook good looking* and is dim or dull... any day of the week.

And most my male mates are no different when it comes to the truth, although a lot of them talk about not going with a girl 'cus of size, it's all bull.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 7:16, Reply)

It's all subjective init
Can have a thin, attractive doris with zilch personality/intelligence; and that's a load of pony. Then a big lass (not too big mind, urgh) who's class and a right laugh, and thus muchos attractive. Or a stunning thin bird who's ace all round and fun to be with. Or a fat mess who's a right cunt 24/7 who you want to avoid at all costs.

Utter cliché but everyone and every situation is different. Except me who's handsome with a great taste in threads and super funny.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)

'I like this'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:00, Reply)

Oh man, I'm certainly a fat mess, and am often referred to as such.
I'm aiming to move from being a fat mess to a fat laugh to a curvy laugh.

And stop drinking so fucking much when I do drink.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)

Alcohol is a sin. Except Duvel.
If you wanna lose weight, just walk everywhere and stop drinking regularly. I weighed thirten stone at the last bash, I'm now nearly eleven. Piece of piss, and I do zero exercise besides making sure I walk an hour every day.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:06, Reply)

I drink about 3-4 times a month.
But when I do it'll be to excess. I do walk quite a lot. I would walk to uni but I don't quite fancy the Walworth Road. Still. Might still be as quick as the bus.

I think diet's the main thing with me. As in, I don't have one, I don't eat regularly or well at all.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:09, Reply)

I used to be ridiculously bad with food. Now I don't eat anything without checking calories first. Quite sad really.
I suppose it's different for doris', but I try and eat five meals a day all around 300 calories. Whilst getting through about five apples and ten mugs of green tea. Once you get into it it's a piece of piss.

EDIT - Innocent veg pots are absolutely class for this, I could happily live off them for the rest of my days. 300 calories a go, three of your five veg a day and they just taste like vegetable curries. They're £3.50 each though (I just nick them).
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:13, Reply)

Diet coke
and Special K cereal bars here. Then three evenings a week I have a dinner or so
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)

I'm trying to work out if I'd suit the 2 small meals 1 large or the 5 small meals approach
I might get back into my black tea. I like my black tea. I know it's not as good as the green stuff, but I may have to draw the line somewhere.

I'll try it out though. Cheers.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)

the diet link
that crackhouseceilidhband posted looked like it could work. The problem with small meals is that you're tempted to overeat at them
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:18, Reply)

What was the link?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:18, Reply)

here you go
www.nosdiet.com/
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:24, Reply)

they are amazing
but bastard tesco has them at half price at the moment, so they are always always always sold out!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:22, Reply)

oooohohooooh
I might order some online
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:23, Reply)

the current seasonal one
bombay curry is AMAZING. although if you like spicy food you will need to add a bit of spice; it's pretty mild.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:25, Reply)

I go in at lunchtime and just stuff four into my bag.
Plus two or three tins of soup. Then buy some fags from one of the counters and I'm done for the day.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:32, Reply)

but only by yourself!
i am sure noone else does.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:13, Reply)

You've not heard the SexFace story, obviously.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)

i don't count
what some bloke from the interweb says, that's not real, ignore that shit!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)

Quite agree Baz
Of all the things I am, I'm not sizeist.

I've been lucky enough to enjoy relationships with people of varying sizes and the only thing that has ever drawn me to someone is a happy face and a winning personality.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:04, Reply)

I must admit I am incredibly fussy.
The last thing I could do is go out with someone daft as a brush, or someone unattractive, and the doris' that are neither of those go out with people deemed cooler than me by society (I say that because they're not cooler than me, society just says they are. In return I say balls to you society, I'm off to watch more Desperate Housewives in my room).
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:11, Reply)

I get fussier as I get older
But only because my days of 'fun' are increasingly limited because of my age.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:13, Reply)

i am too old
to do most of what i spend most of my weekends and evenings doing, i think, at some point i should try and get some sleep.

at 16... i would say: don't bother he's gay, don't bother he's a cunt, don't bother losing your virginity/staying with him for 3 years as he won't make you come even once and it's a total waste of your uni shagging years, and maybe if you actually did some work you'd have got a first instead of doing no work and missing it by 1% (english degrees are not difficult!)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:56, Reply)

How did you get into Law if you did an English degree?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:00, Reply)

in a v brief nutshell
graduated, thought wtf do i do with this degree? went back to my holiday job as a property letting/managing agent, but full-time. got given the arrears and court work because (i) i was good at english and (ii) i can't count. after a few months i decided to do the law conversion, got a training contract easily because i had already gained court and legal experience, and the rest is history!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:04, Reply)

I'd have loved to have done law, I have that kind of mind, but my degree is in English. I didn't think it through at the time, applied to something I liked, not something lucrative.
Too late now for me, I'm 30 and have to keep a roof over my head, so no real opportunity to go and do another BA.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)

not too late at all
you get paid for doing your training contract. so you'd need a career development loan to cover the 2 years at college, then the rest is paid for. the plus sides are that it is bloody interesting and it pays a stupid amount of money and there is a certain degree of kudos to it. the negatives are the long hours, the fact that everyone is applying at the moment, and the fact that law attracts the ignorant and the arrogant!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:11, Reply)

What qualification is the two years at college?
And how do I get a training contract? Before or during college?

Gaz me the details.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:14, Reply)

i will gaz you
but in a nutshell: being older/having a different background is a good thing. law firms like that. you apply to the lawfirm, have interviews, if they offer you a training contract, you then go off to college for 2 years. big lawfirms pay your fees and sponsor you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)

Okay
What sort of roles in law firms? Any pointers for ones local to me?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)

training contracts
you need the grad recruitment section. are you married to where you live? there is a college of law there, go and speak to them.

otherwise i would look up the uk top 100 law firms and apply to all of them. that's pretty much how i did it. you'll need good a-levels and at least a 2:1 though, or you can pretty much forget it!

you get a 1 year post-grad diploma in law, then what is known as the "legal practice course" or LPC which is a piece of piss but essential for people going into law firms. although personally i think its days are numbered.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:19, Reply)

My A Levels were pretty poor- B,C,E, but I have a 2.1
I have ordered the 2011 GDL prospectus.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Well bar bringing yourself off because the fella couldn't
How else did you waste your uni years?

To miss a 1st by 1% with minimal work is still very good going.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)

i wasted them being faithful to that loser!
gaaaah...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:03, Reply)

Never mind
I lost my best years in a bad marriage.

Never mind eh? Until TGB finally builds her time travel machine we just have to accept it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:10, Reply)

you can't undo it
so you have to take the good out of it. otherwise you drive yourself mad!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:11, Reply)

Exactly.
You had 3 years without an orgasm, I got married.

You win.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:18, Reply)

yes
thanks to him i don't think i had an orgasm until i was about 22!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:20, Reply)

I dare say the pent up frustration
of that meant it was a cracker.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:22, Reply)

i was more relieved than anything else
i just thought, oh so that's what all the fuss is all about.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:24, Reply)

What a depressing reaction.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:29, Reply)

haha i have certainly made up for it since
besides, he had a great time for 3 years. i learned a huge amount about giving orgasms if not about receiving them, so it's all good!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:31, Reply)

Swipe has the body of a plasterers radio.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:40, Reply)

I'm too old to party as well
Alt Q: I'd tell my sixteen year old self that compromise is not an ugly word, to stop stuffing herself with shortbread and that she isn't half as ugly as she thought she was. If she thinks that's bad wait till she gets older
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:57, Reply)

*sad face*
That's awful.

I'm sure you rock.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 11 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)

Very kind
but sadly it's true. I look back and laugh at me worrying over how to be slimmer/look prettier etc, when five years later I have exactly the same worries and less basic material to work with
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:02, Reply)

wait til you're as old as me
*glooms*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:06, Reply)

See my reply to Barry.
Tis true of me and most blokes I'd imagine.

In the way that the average Doris won't go home with the Calvin Klien undercrackers model at the end of the night, most blokes won't be going home with the super model either.

Just be yourself. A bloke would rather be with someone who is happy than one who frets and worries about what they're eating and drinking all the time.

Give me bigger but happier over smaller and stressed EVERYTIME. I don't go out a neurosis, I want to be with the person I met.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)

Slightly different situation here though
everyone is at a certain level of achievement/intelligence, which means that ironically it is far more looks focused than anywhere else I've been
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:12, Reply)

just because they are bright blokes
does not make them less looks-obsessed. it just means they are a bit more eloquent about it!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:14, Reply)

exactly
there's an understanding that there is no pretty/stupid or plain/intelligent divide here. That a pretty girl is just as intelligent as the plain. No incentive at all
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:15, Reply)

also the men are
probably even more arrogant than anywhere else!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)

Fuck off are we.
Now, get back to the kitchen. *Demands chips*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:26, Reply)

I think I've demonstrated the fact I'm fuck ugly and thick as fuck at the same time haven't I?
Either that, or I just like nice people.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)

or that i am overly cynical
sadly every guy i meet these days just makes me 10 times worse!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:18, Reply)

Well, my view on marriage is that of the cynic.
Oddly. I want to be a father one day, but the age I'm at means that, like women, my chances of becoming a father get more remote as each day passes.

My age puts me in a bracket of potential suitors, I'm 36 so at a real push I might be attractive to a 30 year old and someone knocking on the door of 40.

Limited amout of time to have off-spring. Given I wouldn't want to have kids outside of a stable relationship.

(God this is getting heavy as a conversation).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)

if you worry about it too much
you'll never sleep. in reality, millions of people in their mid-thirties meet, settle down, have kids every day of the week. you just don't piss around for 10 years first like you do in your 20's.

also have you borrowed one for a whole weekend? makes me feel like tying my own tubes in a double knot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:23, Reply)

I love my sisters kids to bits
And friends who've got kids all seem raelly happy.

Yes, they're hard work and being a occasional carer, I can spoil the kids with gifts and stuff that wouldn't be resonable on a full-time basis.

But I'd like a little me at some point.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:25, Reply)

you're a dude, dude
you've got all the time in the world! i am sure millions of girls would want you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:26, Reply)

I agree I've got time
But my stock isn't rising, I'm getting older. Whilst I might still have my own teeth and a full head of hair (surprisingly not grey at all at the moment), time is running out.

Oddly, neither am I in a 'rush' to settle down again, following previous adventures in that field.

*Books appointment at the wank bank to freeze some*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:28, Reply)

time is not running out
don't be daft. there is bugger-all difference for a man between 36 and 39, for example. honestly!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:29, Reply)

I agree there is no difference between a 36 and 39 year old man
But you have to understand that a 36 or 39 year old man is unlikely to meet a 28 year old with time on their side, to have a loving relationship with that means you feel comfortable starting a family and creating an environment that you know you'll be happy in.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:32, Reply)

ah well
if you are one of *those* men who is only interested in someone much younger, then yes.

there are millions of them on things like mysinglefriend. they will be 35+, but only interested in women who are "22-28".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:34, Reply)

Far from it Swipe
I'm certainly not one of those 'men' I'm someone who worries he'll never be a father.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:39, Reply)

Well don't shut your options off
women can bear children well into their forties
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:40, Reply)

How is the cold?
*Attempting to lighten the mood*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:42, Reply)

still quite bad
but I've drunk a lot so that'll probably help
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:45, Reply)

Have you managed to access a kettle yet?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:46, Reply)

it's still in the old wine cellar
that was underneath a friend's room
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:54, Reply)

Achievement and intelligence has very little to do with it though
I'd rather spend time with someone who is spontanious and fun than someone who is overly studious.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)

Much too old to party
1:30am is about my limit. Plus I don't drink in the week these days - at least that's the plan. I managed two weeks of it and shed 4 stubborn pounds but then backslid. I'm starting again, if I can manage 3 weeks of not drinking in the week I reckon it'll stick.

If I could tell 16-year-old me one thing it would be to point out that there's two or three pretty, fun girls expressing an interest, stop chasing the hot but abusive girl who thinks its funny to never quite completely discourage you. Wonder how things might have turned out.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 0:10, Reply)

"You know that seat you wank in, with the cloth bottom... yeah', nobody is buying that you're very clumsy with yoghurt".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 7:05, Reply)