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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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The highlight of my night was throwing an egg at my mate and hitting him square in the bollocks
It was like an explosion of pussy(pus) spaff. Oh how it made me chuckle. What has been the highlight of your day/night?

Alt Q: New series of Inbetweeners was shit, discuss.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 22:54, 147 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
It was too short, what, 6 episodes?

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:03, Reply)
yup and the only good one was last week.
It was just a poor characateure (no idea of spelling) of the first two.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:04, Reply)
caricature

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:08, Reply)
thanks

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:12, Reply)
Pussy spaff?
WTF?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:10, Reply)
pussy as in yellow pus not pussy as in lady bits.
right in the nuts Jeff, just call me hawkeye.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:12, Reply)
im not sure if this makes me feel less or more vomitey

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:13, Reply)
both
equally fucking rank
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:14, Reply)
sorry, it was the best shot ever, right when it counted.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:14, Reply)
Hawkeye?
I'm thinking of you more as a Japseye at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:19, Reply)
Pffft
I am very over that now.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:25, Reply)
Did you get the egg on his little solider?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:30, Reply)
No all over his light grey tracksuit bottoms.
It was beautiful, twenty yards, dying light, cocky little fucker, whoosh, splat.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:31, Reply)
Sounds a bit like agressive food-sex with a young man.
Is your flat mate ginger?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:38, Reply)
No wasn't my flat mate, I'm in Wales tonight.
Staying at my mates house. One of his idiot friends.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:48, Reply)

So a randoms cock get the benefit of you egg 'toss'?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:50, Reply)
Indeed.
why have you started typing all foreign?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:52, Reply)
Because I'm a bit drunk?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)
fair enough,
no driving.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:06, Reply)
try not to drink drive back to bristol tonight

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:51, Reply)
I'm staying here most of the week.
Try not to be a venomous witch forever.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)
venemous witch till.haloween
Then venomous elf
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:55, Reply)
What happens in the spring?
do you start again as a mildly toxic pixie?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:56, Reply)
evil easter badger innit

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)
delivering easter eggs
full of used needles, broken glass, and dog shit.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:59, Reply)
they would be taylored to the person im giving them to
You'd get dog shit. Jeff would get something weird Rick Harrison would like
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:04, Reply)
yours would contain a dictionary
'tailored' mongo
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)
did you not hear the foo fighters bought the english language

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:12, Reply)
If I had a monkey wrench I would throw it at you

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:14, Reply)
i have 4 in the garage

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:15, Reply)
Knowing you they'll have names

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)
they all seem to have your name on

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:22, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:34, Reply)
Woo! An egg that has been pawned!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)
For a moment there I thought you meant that a cat's vaginal discharge is yellow.
And I was wondering how you knew that =/
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 7:17, Reply)
Piss easy lab today
So don't have to go in tomorrow. Also, the head demonstrator was completely nuts, he did a victory dance when we'd finished, and was telling the new demonstrator to "enjoy your power, you know how bad this was, but now you're like pac-man after a power pill, so you can have your revenge", and then went around the lab waving his arms in front of him and making wakka wakka noises
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)
If it makes you feel better
my one just totally left
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:24, Reply)
your bollock?
But srsly how did it go? On a scale of bad to HE DIED FUCK WHERE CAN I HIDE A BODY SHIT WHERE'S MONTY WHEN YOU NEED HIM
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:26, Reply)
Turns out
he was into mild d/s and I totally wasn't. So I turned the tables and he hasn't come back
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:28, Reply)
...nintendo ds?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:29, Reply)
domination/submission
and I'm really not. So he just left
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:31, Reply)
How do you get to that level of conversation
Over a game of Scrabble?

I need to know.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:32, Reply)
he kissed me
I thought it was going well :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)
it sounds as if it kinda was
at first anyway
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:35, Reply)
it was at first
but I've had real pain, I don't even want to dabble in pain.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:38, Reply)
agreed
pain is not sexy!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:40, Reply)
sadly so
I'm really rather upset
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:43, Reply)
but there is one huge plus point here
HE TOTALLY WANTED YOU!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:45, Reply)
but I'm still really upset

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:53, Reply)
yeah i can see that
when for a moment you think it's going perfectly, then crash back to earth. fucking sucks.

poor beast!!! x
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)
I am really really upset

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:57, Reply)
does it have to be a dealbreaker?
he obviously fancies you or he wouldn't have pulled you, so maybe it's just a case of him not trying the whole D/S thing??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)
He's walking out
because of it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:03, Reply)
yes
but it has only just happened. on reflection, he might think, well everything else is there, i can easily do without that shit?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:05, Reply)
then hes a twat and its better you find that out now
Than several months down the line
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:05, Reply)
i try to remember this advice
with every new failure! sometimes it works. sometimes you still get upset. but even when you get upset, they are still a twat.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)
Hey. Blokes have feelings too.
We still get grumpy when things don't work out, and we feel like even bigger twats 'cos we can't talk to anyone about it. Brave face and all that.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:10, Reply)
some blokes do
some blokes just find it easier to behave like twats and pretend nothing happened!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:12, Reply)
Then they are twats
Most of us still have feelings
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:13, Reply)
I don't I smoked them away

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)
not the last couple i tangled with, which has just made me even more cynical!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)
What was wrong with the last couple?
Feel free to reply from the left.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:18, Reply)
ach
just turned out to be nowhere near as nice or genuine as i thought, no big drama lolz!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)
You'll find the right person in due course.
You've just not found them yet.

Find Mister Right, not Mister RightNow and you'll be sound.

Bow to the experience of Jeff on this one Swipe (although I don't want a Mr).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:23, Reply)
nah
thank you but i think i might just give up!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:24, Reply)
Don't give up.
Otherwise you'll spend your life on the right of the screen. And no one wants to be there!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:25, Reply)
dude if youre picking some tiny overall aspect of a relasionship
As a reason not to be with someone you're a twat
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:13, Reply)
This
I could totally overlook the fact TGB is the devil and try and make it work....
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:15, Reply)
yeah but loads and loads of blokes do this
one tiny thing and they go straight off a girl.

whereas girls can talk themselves into anything!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:16, Reply)
If only.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)
on which bit?!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:20, Reply)
Dangit, you broke my ^this....
On my end, the "girls can talk themselves into anything".
From my experience, they seem to be able to do the opposite just as easily.
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)
most of my girlfriends
didn't really like their now husbands that much on the first couple of dates, but talked themselves into putting up with it. then i have male friends who have dumped lovely girls for the most stupid of reasons (er, not that they EVER thought of telling the girls those reasons of course)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:26, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:20, Reply)
Is he a hack?
If so, I know of some very good rumour mongers in the Union
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:06, Reply)
you're lovely
but sadly not. It made me feel unwanted though
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:32, Reply)
well easily id imagine if anyone made either
Domination or submission
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:34, Reply)
Good question.
What is d/s?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:31, Reply)
Domination/ submission.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)
and I'm 100% not submissive

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:34, Reply)
What is 'mild' DS though?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:36, Reply)
hair pulling, mild pinching
who is on top etc
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:37, Reply)
who is on top is surely just part and parcel of sex though, rather than a kink thing?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:39, Reply)
only if it's variety
not if it has to be a fixed permanent state of affairs
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:48, Reply)
true
Ditto hair pulling.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:49, Reply)
yeah
like you've ever had sex, internetboy
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:55, Reply)
Who is on top would, I assume change over the natural course of love making
(Well my experience suggests this is indeed the case)

But the hair pulling and mild pinching? WTF? He sounds like a cross between Vidal Sassoon and a angry crab.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:40, Reply)
I know
I'm a bit upset that I couldn't be hot enough without aid
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:30, Reply)
Nothing to do with it.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:47, Reply)

Sure he didn't want you to be the dominant one
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:36, Reply)
Next time?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:27, Reply)
no
we're imcomptabile if mildly exciting, but that's not enough
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:29, Reply)
meet my new puppet

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:27, Reply)
i didnt realise they made a darth foxtrot puppet

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:29, Reply)
He needs a name, any suggestions?
must be suitable for 4/5 year olds.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:30, Reply)
It looks like it should be called Gonk

(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:39, Reply)
you are crocodile dundee
ai fucked that up cause it's donk innit.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:40, Reply)
Not seen it
So I wouldn't know.
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:41, Reply)
Bloody good fun

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:45, Reply)
He's your purple extention.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:33, Reply)
*sniggers*

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:35, Reply)
I definitely can't call him that.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:36, Reply)
whats wrong with Sniggers
Sniggers is an awesome name
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:36, Reply)
I know it really is, but with little ones it could lead to an awkward situation.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:38, Reply)
youre going to inevitably fuck them up sooner or later
You may as well introduce them to casual racism in the meantime
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:41, Reply)
Will you be wearing your puppet on your wanking hand?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:43, Reply)
Probably yeah.
Is that bad?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:44, Reply)
Will it make teaching feel like someone else is doing it?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:45, Reply)
I don't even want to think about that.
He will be my aid for teaching Welsh.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:46, Reply)
because he looks about as sensible
as bothering to learn it??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:47, Reply)
sut wyt ti?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:48, Reply)
spik eeenglish boy

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:51, Reply)
it means how are you?
I learnt it today.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:52, Reply)
oh
unlearn it???!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:53, Reply)
I am enjoying it to be honest.
It is very phonetic so quite easy to pick up and write.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:54, Reply)
I know a welsh lass that looks somewhat like that
Call it Katie
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:48, Reply)
There are some beautiful welshies on my campus.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:49, Reply)
She's a nice lass
And honestly doesnt really look like that.
She's just a level of crazy, that if she were a puppet, would be that.
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:00, Reply)
Theres a redhead on campus who might be the sexiest girl alive.
I saw her briefly on saturday getting into a taxi just wearing a guns n roses t shirt as a dress. Nom nom.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:02, Reply)
Redheads are always either absolutely stunning
Or at the lower end of "meh" (or below), you never seem to get slightly pretty ones
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:05, Reply)
I just love em. Well most of em.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:06, Reply)
By the way, which campus?
Have just realised that I know a stunning redhead who goes to Cardiff (but is, unfortunately, taken :( )
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:08, Reply)
Newport, Caerleon.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:10, Reply)
Ah fair enough
The one I know is in Cardiff, so probably not the same one
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:12, Reply)
I'll still find her....
don't you worry
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:17, Reply)

Oh my god new professor LAyton out on Friday WOO
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:53, Reply)
Don't mention DS games.
Bit of a touchy subject right now.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:55, Reply)
pft
150 new puzzles in a time traveling mystery! Enough to cheer anyone up
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:57, Reply)
DS games are very much not to be discussed. Have a look up there.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 18 Oct 2010, 23:58, Reply)
i made the nintendo ds link dipshit

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:01, Reply)
Dipshit?
Wow.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:02, Reply)
that's mild.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:03, Reply)
Like light pinching.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:03, Reply)
Or a little punch here and there,
you know kinda sexy.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:07, Reply)
VERY SEXY
Like a turkey slap.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:08, Reply)
I have been helping my aunty look after my tiny newborn handsome angelic funny-face-pulling cousin
Amberl, I'm sorry for your troubles.
I personally love having my hair pulled, but on a first date when you don't know someone's likes and dislikes it's a bit unwise.
I think we should hand people questionnaires. It would save time.
I once dumped a bloke for being too affectionate at a gig.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:20, Reply)
What band had you gone to see?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:21, Reply)
Zero 7.
His bleedin idea, then ignored the band in order to put his arms round me, balance his chin on my head, and generally impede my movement and gig enjoyment.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:23, Reply)
How fucking short was he?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:23, Reply)
He was very tall, actually
God knows how he contorted himself. I may have had my gig platforms on, but still, I'm small.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:26, Reply)
So he balanced his head on your chin?
Hang on. I've read that again. Sorry. I've got that wrong.

I'm a divvy.

Sorry. As you were.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:27, Reply)
Haha ya numpty

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:27, Reply)
I had visions of you being 9ft tall
And going out with a bloke who was only good for wiping the skirting boards over ever week!

How are you Roots? Had a nice day?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:29, Reply)
I am not Gulliver and I did not have sexual relations with that Lilliputian
I really didn't. We only dated for a couple of weeks.
My day has been tiring but rewarding. My new cousin likes me. I'm good at making him burp.
How's you?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:32, Reply)
I'm okay cheers.
So what first name has your new cousin been given?

(I really hope it's the same as a Bay City Roller).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:34, Reply)
His name is Luca.
And he actually lives on the second floor.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:35, Reply)
Brilliant.
Yes I think that I've seen him before.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 19 Oct 2010, 0:43, Reply)

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