Surprise me.
(anyone posting 'BOO!' will have their pets and/or loved ones posted to them in a series of ever-more-grisly instalments)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:02, 115 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

AWOOGA

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:05, Reply)

*drops tweed dungs*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

*clingfilms*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:12, Reply)

despite all the evidence that you present to the contrary
I am not, in fact, gay.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Yes you are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I'm really not.
I know it's hard for you to handle the rejection, I'm sorry.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

It's not 'hard' for me.
Deal with it. I JUST DON'T FANCY YOU.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

denial is a river in Egypt, sweetie.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I'm staring at you right now.

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:05, Reply)

i kissed a girl and i liked it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:06, Reply)

i kissed a girl and i told /qotw about it

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:09, Reply)

I kissed a girl and then kissed a few more just to be sure I like it.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I kissed a girl and I liked it
but I don't like it any more.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I have managed to find two things interesting just this very morning.
I think I may need to have a lie down...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:06, Reply)

what were these two things?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:07, Reply)

One was in a book about Darwinism and human behaviour
The other was a segment of a talk by Ken Robinson at the RSA; I've just posted it on /links if you've got ten minutes to kill.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:09, Reply)

maybe I'll take a look later

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Your balls don't count.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Neither do yours

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Actually, the left one is on the way to becoming a chartered accountant.
The right one continues to disappoint me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:09, Reply)

'Ant & Dec' counts as just one, you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Their respective autopsies would beg to differ...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I've seen at least 3 b3tans naked
Or if you want something that's minorly shocking, I can't stand Bob Dylan.

I appreciate everything he's done as a musician, and his lyrics are not bad from time to time, but I just find his music dull.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I've seen at least one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:08, Reply)

*flashes*

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

*drops monocle*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Nope, still 3

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I'm sorry.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:09, Reply)

He's fucking shit. I completely agree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:09, Reply)

hahahha you know nothing about music.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:10, Reply)

even Subterranean Homesick Blues?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Harry Nilsson's version is much better

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I will check that out

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:12, Reply)

The one tune of his that I actually like when performed by him.
That's IT. In what, 50 years of recording?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Hurricane?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

it is a cracking song.
an early one though

how do you feel about Hurricane?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

More of a Jimmy White man, if I'm honest.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

*chortle*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:19, Reply)

See also:
The Velvet Underground.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Yep!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

you cunt
now I have shiny boots of leather stuck in my head
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Hah!

( Kroney, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:18, Reply)

head rectum
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I agree with the adage that his songs were done better by other people
Though his success does give hope to people who can't sing (like me).
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

The version of Lay Lady Lay by Magnet and Gemma Hayes is far superior

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I haven't heard that
But the most concrete example of this is, of course, All Along the Watchtower.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

It's on Mr & Mrs Smith
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv4JnFClVmo
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

'All Along the Watchtower'
is way better when performed by the London Jehovah's Witness Choir.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I was just about to post this
:D
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I've not seen any completely naked
But have seen b3tan rude bits.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I was referring to myself when I said I'd seen one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I'm a Never Nude

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I'm going to take you seriously for a moment
and say I have never heard that term before
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:21, Reply)

It's from Arrested Development
One of the characters is a never nude, and always wears denim cutoffs, under his clothes, in bed, in the shower etc. He fears nudity.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:26, Reply)

denim cutoffs just makes that more funny somehow

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Arrested Development is a great show
I recommend it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:33, Reply)

noted

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Snap.
I'm fairly sure it's not the same three, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Probably not
Although 2 of them I've seen seperately from b3ta
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:19, Reply)

If you tip your head back
close your eyes and pretend to shake salt into your mouth, you'll taste salt.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:08, Reply)

how can I try this while sat at my desk without looking like a complete weirdo

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I don't know go to the toilet or something.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

That's beacause someone's jizzing into it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I never got that fucking job

*enters misery zone*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:08, Reply)

*sad face*

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:09, Reply)

No point in getting myself too depressed about it
Although, getting the phonecall, in the pishing rain, in a piss stained alley in Glasgow, on my birthday, was a body blow.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:12, Reply)

the phonecall surprise bumsex
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I said 'surprise me'.
(possibly the most cuntish thing I've ever posted and not at all true)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:10, Reply)

:)
Just keep 'em coming

*books single train fare to London*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of smeared mascara, a dimension of angst, a dimension of melancholy. You're moving into a land of both crying and self harm, of emo and pathetic poetry.
You've just crossed over into..the Misery Zone
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I decided that I liked Taylor Swift
and have since taken up mincing.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I had an uncle who was gay, (he's dead now) and an uncle who looks like Harry Secombe.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I have an uncle who is gay
he looks like a gay version of my dad.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

You look like a gay version of your dad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:18, Reply)

so does your face

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

My dad was gay and
after a lifetime of trying to deny it, it finally got him murdered. Ahh, to live in the land of the free…..
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:16, Reply)

: /
My uncle had a kid when he was very young who then got shipped off with the mother to another part of the country. Out of the blue the guy turned up to see him just before he died from alcohol related death.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

completely true

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

My boss kissed me on the mouth last night in the pub
He was plastered. Leads by example. Luckily I wasn't drunk enough to think that pursuing this might be a good way to get a pay rise
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I sincerely hope you hounded him out of the pub yelling
"BUMDER ALERT" at the top of your voice.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I wish the alcohol hadn't dulled my presence aforethought so greatly
because it had given me the foolish bravado required for such an undertaking
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

foolish bravado required for such an undertaking raging horn
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

You'd certainly get a 'gay rise'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:19, Reply)

So the level of gayness increases with the amount of alcohol consumed?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Loath as I am to quote from the godawful 90's "sitcom" Gimme Gimme Gimme,
one exchange springs readily to mind here.

"What's the difference between a straight man and a bisexual man?"

"About 8 pints of lager"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I had 8 pints of lager at the weekend, and several vodka's,
and there was no urge, whatsoever, to gobble a cock or gape my hairy arsehole.

On the flip side, how many pints does it take to make a bender, straight?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I'll say it before anyone else does;
I'll try and find out this weekend
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Why, whats happening at the weekend?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I was once a nice person;
Church Choir, Songs of Praise, Baptised, Confirmed and went to Bible Club.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I was raised Christian
Never baptised though
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:19, Reply)

This I can believe.
The nice kids always turn out to be the dirtiest adults.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

I was baptised and confirmed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I think you
have just proved this point incredibly succinctly.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Same except bible club thankfully.
I only go to church once a year (for the annual rememberence service for all the homeless that have died on the streets in the previous year).
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:50, Reply)

My stupidity
As an irregular user of the tube I had forgotten about the strike, that is until I presented myself at the tube station this morning. Bob Crow is a cunt and he can stick his union up his fat arsehole.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:18, Reply)

if you use Twitter join the abuse being sent to @RMTLondon

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

He's such a cunt he's impervious to abuse
:'((
I hope he dies in a fire
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:23, Reply)

He wasn't impervious to baseball bats a few years ago.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Pray tell...

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:31, Reply)

They didn't do a very good job

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:31, Reply)

yes, i love this
i am waiting for him to explain why he continues to draw his obscene salary plus why he thinks anyone should be guaranteed a job in the current climate where people are being made redundant chop, chop, chop left, right and centre.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:35, Reply)

God there is some drivel
being posted in support of them :/

Edit: hahaha! I might have known "Full support from a French citizen who believes that strikes are a valuable mode of opposition & not "annoyance". Keep it up :)"
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:24, Reply)

bob crow earns a fortune
an absolute six figure a year fortune.

oh god, the things i would have done to that hypocritical dinosaur for making me walk (what the internet has tragically confirmed is only 5.5 miles and not the 7 that i thought i was walking, he must pay for this too) home last night and into work this morning and home again tonight...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I had a fucking nightmare this morning.
Journey should have been:
1. Shadwell to Bank
2. Bank to Woodside Park

Was:
1. Shadwell to Tower Gateway
2. Walk to Tower Hill
3. District line to Monument
4. Walk around Monument for 15mins until it becomes apparent there's no interchange to Northern or Central Lines
5. Leave station, walk across London Bridge
6. London Bridge to Woodside Park
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:30, Reply)

horrendous, you poor sod - AND going home will be the same
it really should be illegal to ruin so many hardworking people's days.

i can get circle, district or piccadilly lines from where i am on high st ken, and only the district line was working on a v v reduced service. it must have been like cattle trucks. and ever since i missed 7 july bombings by one tube stop i've been a bit panicky about crowded tubes, plus they are full of reeking plebs. the buses were beyond a joke, they were so crowded. and when i called addison lee yesterday, they offered me a cab at 3.30am or 11.45pm. nothing in between.

bring back hanging, drawing and quartering, sez i.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Tube wasn't any busier than usual for me - I think a lot of people are working from home.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:40, Reply)

HA, you London bastards
You get ALL the good stuff, now it's time for some payback
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:43, Reply)

A friend of mine suggested that when the tube drivers go on strike,
the government should get the army to take over and keep the service ticking over. (i.e., if you can drive a Chieftain tank, surely you can handle the Bakerloo line?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:44, Reply)

This would work if the army weren't so over-stretched as it is

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Woodside Park
the hidden gem of tube stations
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:34, Reply)

That's a fucker. I was lucky - Jubilee worked to Baker St as usual and was able to get the Bakerloo - just had to get off at Oxford Circus and walk as Piccadilly was/is closed.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:39, Reply)

This made me lol
tinyurl.com/yzulmbk
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Saw that a while back
Still makes me laugh though


( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I actually tell the truth on QOTW

( Peej, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:55, Reply)