Dropping a flounce-bomb all over Maxi's thread (sorry about that)
Right, you gorgeous bastards, I'm leaving the country for a couple of weeks today so I'm opening up the floor. Ask me anything. Tell me anything you like. Don't hold back, I'm dying to tell some of you my opinions in return.

Alt Q - Re-read the above but insert a few choice swearwords to emphasise my disdain for your demand for an Alt Q
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:01, 150 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Where are you going?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:04, Reply)

Vietnam
Ho Chi Minh City to be precise. Am honestly not sure if they have football out there. This is my greatest concern.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:05, Reply)

FIve dollar?
EDIT: Because the most important part of any overseas adventure is watching football in a different country....

www.tripadvisor.in/ShowTopic-g293925-i8433-k3584908-Good_bar_to_watch_the_footy_in-Ho_Chi_Minh_City.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:07, Reply)

Fucking hell
That is BRILLIANT. Thanks mate :-)

Ms Foxtrot is going to hate you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:12, Reply)

I can't believe that
I can't believe people goes as far as Vietnam and that they are actually concerned about where to watch the football. As if there weren't enough excitements in a place like that.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:13, Reply)

Every man has his vices
I probably won't bother, if I'm honest, but Ms Foxtrot and the friend we're going to see out there are bound to go shopping for dressmaking accessories at some point. I just have to time it close to kick-off
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:15, Reply)

this is because men truly are a different species, aber

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:19, Reply)

In all fairness though, I'm going to miss watching Glee and House and Supernatural while I'm away...

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:22, Reply)

We do have television in this country Poppet.
How many sleeps do you have left now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:23, Reply)

We do have tvs in Europe.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:24, Reply)

AA, for one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Fuck you.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:16, Reply)

It would be a different story if I'd googled a bar that showed
Episodes of 'Sex and the City' on loop.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:23, Reply)

That would be even worse

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:25, Reply)

That is slanderous.
Never in a million years would I do such a thing. Although I do have a habit of encountering MASSIVE DRUGS wherever I go in the world.

Never deliberately though, I hasten to add. I went out to see my father and popped out for a pint in the student pub in Williamsburg, within an hour I'd managed to attract the local conspiracy theory nut, who had mountains of coke and weed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:42, Reply)

I can't believe it either.
Neither can I believe that Darth is that stupid he failed to Google 'bars in Ho Chi Minh City that show football'.

Why go all that way and then waste time watching sport?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:22, Reply)

Exactly
I'm sure there are tons of more interesting things to do. And I don't mean shopping either, unless it's shopping of things that you can't find in here.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:26, Reply)

Because football is ballet for the common man
22 individuals at the peak of physical fitness performing unbelievable feats of agility and athleticism for 90 minutes, breathtaking drama, dropping a ball on a sixpence 50 yards away, weaving through a crowd of players with the ball at your feet. And occasionally lunging in two-footed at someone's knee.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:40, Reply)

That sounds great Lighty.
But I'm a Bristol City supporter.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:41, Reply)

Yeah but how often are they on TV?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Not very often.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:56, Reply)

About as often as Nottingham Forest?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

CHEEKY ARSE
Yes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

It's 90 minutes of improvised drama.
With added shouting.
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Well
I'm the first one who likes to watch a good football match, as they're full of excitement and that; but not when you're on a very exciting, full of things to do different country (and continent)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Annoyingly
Aber has a very good point here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Ah, but I watched the 1991 FA Cup Final in Amsterdam in preference to isiting the red light district.
So if you say that you've been invited to bizarre sex show, but have decided to watch the football instead then you'll probably score brownie points with Mrs Darth.
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:10, Reply)

I was at the 1991 FA Cup Final
Paul Gascoigne should have been sent off in the first minute for kicking Garry Parker in the FACE but wasn't even booked. A red card would have prevented him from horribly injuring himself when he tried to cut Gary Charles in half. Stuart Pearce scored one of the best FA Cup Final goals ever, Mark Crossley became only the second goalkeeper ever to save a penalty at Wembley, from Gary Lineker (the first, Dave Beasant, would later join Crossley on Forest's books) and then we went and fucking well lost in extra time when Des Walker, the best English centre-half since Bobby Moore, headed into his own fucking net.

Happy times
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Don't exagerate Darth. Gascoine only kicked Parker in the chest.
& Pearce's goal should have been disallowed due to pushing in the wall.
Plus winning by Walker's own goal was karma for having lost to Coventry in '87 due the admirable Gary Mabbutt's own goal.
And, Spurs had to win to allow them to complete a remarkable record of cup wins when the year ended in a 1.(20th century only)
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Oh yes, I feel much better now
A few points

a) a kick in the chest is still a red card offence unless you're Nigel de Jong, apparently
b) bollocks; also, pushing Spurs players is perfectly acceptable form on account of Spurs being cunts
c) Mabbutt's own goal was hilarious; Walker's was not
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Of course, both of Gascoine fouls should have been red cards. The ref (I think it was Roger Milford)
has admitted that he should have sent him off.

Wasn't Gary Charles sent to prison a little while back?
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I believe so
That's what you get for sodomising sheep outside of Derbyshire.

Impressive referee knowledge there
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I've been awake since 5am.
It feels like there's a guinea pig getting rambunctious somewhere just under my ribs.
It feels like a hunger pang then turns into a sharp pain.
Also exhaustion.

Am I dying? (I am a hypochondric but in this instance I have been as accurate and not exaggeratey as I have ever been.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:04, Reply)

No. You are not dying.
You are too fabulous to die.

Ever.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Thank you.
Is it an ulcer?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Could be, yeah
That would be my first guess - depending on what you ate last night and whether you're a coeliac or anything like that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:11, Reply)

I ate healthily last night tbh
And how dare you suggest I'm a celeriac!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:14, Reply)

I hope for your sake that you're not
You'll have trouble getting anyone to eat you if so
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:16, Reply)

Sorry Roota
But every day is one day closer to death.

Based on that, you are indeed dying.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Stop that

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:07, Reply)

Sorry, lar.
What not go to the Doctors and get yourself on the sick, lar? There might be some bennys in it for you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:09, Reply)

We can only have appointments in about three weeks now.
And I'm not sitting at Drop-In feeling like this.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:11, Reply)

Give them a bell and tell them it's an emergency
They'll see you today.

Don't suffer in silence.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:13, Reply)

I might do that from work.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:16, Reply)

And take the day off as a bonus
Sounds like a good plan to me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:20, Reply)

^ this.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:24, Reply)

Maybe you're hungry
Have you tried eating anythig?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:09, Reply)

It's been like this since Sunday
It goes temporarily while I'm eating but the returns rapidly.
I eat a lot so that can't be the problem.
It's worse in bed. It's giving me nightmares.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:10, Reply)

Then I don't know
Maybe you should try not to eat anything for a little bit, see if that makes you feel better. I'd try a lemmon grass tea (they're fantastic for stomach pains), and failing that, the doctor.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:11, Reply)

I'm sipping boiled water.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:13, Reply)

Without herbs on it?
I don't know if that will help...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:14, Reply)

I also have the lurgy
But I just get on with it
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:11, Reply)

Are you familiar with this stomach feeling though?
And I am getting on with it. Despite sleep-deprivation and pain, I'm going to go to work.
I'm lightheaded though. *sniff*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:11, Reply)

When I had pain like that I thought I'd broken my ribs
Turns out I was just badly bruised, have you been tackled by some 20 stone flanker recently?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:16, Reply)

I don't recall this happening

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:17, Reply)

If your bowels are behaving normally, but you still have a pain,
Go to the quacks.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:14, Reply)

My bowels are never normal Bart

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:17, Reply)

Well, if you can function with the pain, then carry on.
Perhaps you sat on a cork and didn't notice.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:25, Reply)

r c
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:35, Reply)

Nasty
but funny
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:38, Reply)

Why are you such a beaker?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:04, Reply)

Why are you such a troll?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:06, Reply)

It's a legitimate question
But you've gone all boo hoos in response as usual.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:09, Reply)

If it really is a legitimate question
it's the first non-abusive thing you've ever said to me, therefore my response is based on cumulative evidence
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:10, Reply)

Well if you ain't gonna answer that one, how's about are you gonna go for a tranny whilst out there
or you gonna be all vanilla and stick with the street boys?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:17, Reply)

I'll answer yours if you answer mine
And I'm a Neapolitan man
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:20, Reply)

So you go ass to mouth? Eewww you must have questionable oral health
Expressing a different view aint trolling
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:26, Reply)

Expressing a different view without provocation in a manner as to which infers the other person is a pillock is trolling.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:33, Reply)

This^
As is trolling the fuck out of half my QOTW posts without provocation
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:36, Reply)

BooHoos it was a dreadful entry, you still seem upset Darth
I don't usually even bother reading your entries, however the shitness of it just drew me in.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:40, Reply)

*facepalms*
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:41, Reply)

I noe!
You'll get there in the end BGB
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Pipedreams Rory, just pipedreams.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:44, Reply)

*rests case*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:44, Reply)

I originally meant that I like a variety of flavours
but now that I think about it Neapolitan is a perfect euphemism for ass to mouth

*bokes*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:38, Reply)

For the gays it involves a bleeding arsehole or receding gumlines
nice
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:41, Reply)

Horrific Mental Image Of The Day
I believe this is unlikely to be beaten
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Cool, what's the prize?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:46, Reply)

It needs making up
But not by you, I think

weirdo
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:49, Reply)

Are you going to miss me?
:'(
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:08, Reply)

Absolutely
We have to catch up at the end of the month, when I'm back and before you go away :-)

catch up shag
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:12, Reply)

That'd be good
I imagine I'll see tons of your pictures on Facebook as soon as you come back, won't I?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:15, Reply)

I should bloody well hope so
Assuming Ms Foxtrot's camera doesn't pack up
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:16, Reply)

You better take a good camera with you
Trips like those don't happen every day, and you don't want to have to relay on your memory to remember it...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:19, Reply)

This is true
We should be OK with what we've got - a better one would cost more than we could afford (just spent quite a lot of money on flights)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:21, Reply)

f t
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:25, Reply)

tlights?
What am I missing?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:28, Reply)

I think he forgot to score out the l

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:30, Reply)

I think so too
But then, maybe he's thinking of a different word...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:31, Reply)

We spoiled an otherwise funny strikethrough.
C'mon Jeff.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:33, Reply)

Sorry Bart and Aber.
I'll try harder next time.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:38, Reply)

That's what matters
Commitment and a will to do it better every time.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:40, Reply)

Thank you for your understanding.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:43, Reply)

What are you missing?
Well you are missing me, missing the strike-through on the 'L' as well.

I've failed, again. And it's only just gone half-eight.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:32, Reply)

Don't be too hard on you
It's early in the morning and easy to make mistakes. Have a coffee and you'll see everything looks better.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:33, Reply)

Where did you get that fabulous blouse?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:13, Reply)

House of Fraser, darling
The new Karen Millen collection is just FABulous
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:14, Reply)

Listen, Darth, I'm going to ask you something.
It's currently quite hard out there on the streets of london, the homeless generally are those who are worst off in our society. They have to sleep rough, deal with all sorts of dangers. Female ones are known to be 'put to work', selling their bodies for change. There is a big assosation with addiction, voilance, prostertution, mental and phsyical illness. When you walk your 15 minutes from tube stop to work, the rain pouring down on you, the cold, so you zip up your jacket, keep your head down, and eventually you'll be sitting at your nice warm desk with a caramel mocachino from an international 'coffee experiance' enterprise. Imagine if that 15 minutes was a 30 minute walk, an hour, a few hours, an evening, a night, a few nights, a few weeks, just for a month, maybe a couple of months, then year on year without respite. Scavaging through left overs in the vain hope to have something that every other animal on the planet manages to have. Even bats, rats and moles have shelter from the harsh enviroment.

Now, when walking home from work and you've got a spare half price sandwich from Tescos that you figure you'll have when you get home but come home and decided to get a pizza and bin the sandwich, think of the starving hungry person on the street who's trying to do what he can, to survive. Not in a 2Pac or ru'boi sense of the word, but in a genuine might-not-make-it-tonight way. Go hand them over your sandwich, you're only eating for the sake of eating anyway.

So, I ask you, what can a dude like me to get chicks to totally dig me big stylee?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:14, Reply)

Ask them out

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:17, Reply)

Wow
Too much for this early in the morning, but you should never, ever, bin any edible food. And you should never, ever, let edible food go inedible.

About the girls, weddings are great places to pick them... maybe you should go to the other one you've been invited :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:18, Reply)

I reckon spinning them that tale will work a treat mate
Women are, like, sensitive an' stuff, aren't they.

Not like me.

*cries massive GUILT-TEARS over the pack of cookies bought at Tesco this morning*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:18, Reply)

talk to them like this and make them laugh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:21, Reply)

Try out some moves on TGB
She can give you marks out of 10 and then you can polish up your act.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:23, Reply)

Become an emo, the chicks totally dig it

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:37, Reply)

Bye Darth.
*waves*
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:29, Reply)

Hi Blousie
*waves too*
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Hi aber!
*waves*

Looking forward to seeing you soon : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:31, Reply)

Yes, about that...
Might not be able to meet you on the 20th... I'll know tomorrow. I was going to post a new thread with it, but Darth was faster than me. I'm giving him another 5 min, and then going with mine :)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:34, Reply)

*sad face*

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:35, Reply)

I just sent you a gaz

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Bye honey *waves*
I want explicit details of every wet dream you have about me when I get back
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:37, Reply)

I actually did dream about you and your girlfriend the other day : )
No sexeh time though : (
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:39, Reply)

I am enormously interested, despite myself
Details please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:45, Reply)

I can't remember too much but you were both looking after my nephew for some reason.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:46, Reply)

Perfectly logical
I take it from the fact that my girlfriend is in your dreams that you've been cyber-stalking her
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:51, Reply)

I've been cyber-stalking you and she's in some of the photos.

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:56, Reply)

The better photos
by virtue of having her in them. Am flattered, incidentally
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:58, Reply)

I believe that UPS are doing some cheap flights via Yemen.
My question is, what are you going to do when you are in Vietnam?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:37, Reply)

Bum little boys, obv.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Morning Monts.
Nice night last night?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:43, Reply)

Not too bad, thanks.
There's nothing I like better than spending 40minutes of my life fruitlessly on the phone to a succession of 5 x 12-year-old Indians.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:45, Reply)

*inserts grooming joke*

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Did TalkTalk
Come up with the goods without you getting all angry and racist?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:48, Reply)

NB 'fruitlessly'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:49, Reply)

You've got to send them a invoice now.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Dunno really
A friend of ours is out there so whatever she recommends. Want to get up to Hanoi at some point but the only things I can be sure I'll do are quote various 'Nam movies endlessly and giggle at the name of the currency
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:45, Reply)

I hope you get to
Shoot a cow with a bazooka.*

*No idea if you can do that or not, but everyone who goes there seems to come but with some sort of 'gun' story.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:47, Reply)

That would be AWESOME!
Vegematarian girlfriend may have objections
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:50, Reply)

Well cows are veggie too.
Maybe that'll sway her?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:53, Reply)

What,
"you should let me horribly murder this animal which you not only believe has as much right to life as we do but also share a diet plan with"?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I don't see how that will fail.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:57, Reply)

Willing to put some money on that?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 8:58, Reply)

Five-Dollar!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Sucky sucky!

( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:03, Reply)

How far do you think I'll get walking down the street saying that?
Place your bets now, people
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Plus you could always say that you did it so that the cow could be used to make a smashing pair of shoes.
If there's one thing I know it's that girls like shoes more than cows.
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Not this girl
Won't wear leather clothing of any kind on account of the cow that had to die to make them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:08, Reply)

Actually, good for her. I'm the same.
Does she get her shoes from The Vegetarian Shoe Co in Brighton?
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:12, Reply)

I'd make my shoes out of you if I had half the chance

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:16, Reply)

They'd be a bit worn, but well insulated.

(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:22, Reply)

sound good
where do you live?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:25, Reply)

Erm... over there
*points one way, runs the other*
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:30, Reply)

it's ok
your vegetarian diet will make you weak and easy to catch and kill
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:35, Reply)

You're wrong.
Being an unfit, fat bastard will make me easy to catch.
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Bon voyage my heterosuspect friend!
Have a good one
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:05, Reply)

Well that's not a question
Thank you very much mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:07, Reply)

If I wrap a slice of pancetta around a pork fillet medallion
and hold it in place with a cocktail stick, that's not going to let all the meat magic out when I grill it, is it?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:28, Reply)

You know that bit in Pulp Fiction
where Samuel L. Jackson says "My girlfriend's a vegetarian, which practically makes me a vegetarian" - that's me that is.

Samuel L. Jackson.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:42, Reply)

You play golf in a kilt?
/51ststate
(Cave Duck, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:46, Reply)

Silly person, that was Adam Sandler

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)