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This is a question That's me on TV!

Hotdog asks: Ever been on TV? I once managed to "accidentally" knock Ant (but not Dec) over live on the box.

We last asked this in 2004, but we know you've sabotaged more telly since then

(, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 12:08)
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This question is now closed.

That's me on TV!
That's me in the spot light
Howling my derision.

Sorry that's been going through my head all week.
(, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 12:54, Reply)
I were on the Generation Game
Back in 2002 my daddy and I were picked to appear on the generation game. Sadly that bellend to end all bells was hosting it instead of the chin-ariffic Brucie. We learned one or two secrets that happen in the world of t'telly, generally boring ones that everyone knows anyway like holidays not being holidays really, and not to wear certain colours. Very fascinating, you agree.

One of the couples had a very complicated intro which involved dressing in wedding gear for some reason. It was something to do with mr blobby taking a wedding photo or some shite like that. So they were off for the whole day while we and the other 2 couples farted about in the green room.

Then filming time came.....

Hair and make up was rather jolly fun, then we were ushered out onto the stage to meet the 'great' man himself. He was a miserable bastard when not on camera, refusing to speak to the lesser mortals. After intros were done we were backstage and our first task was to tie a kimanchi (spelled wrong I know) bow. This was hugely complicated, and we were watching on the monitors, so what we saw is what was seen on telly, and it kept switching to Davidson's big fat head so we couldn't really see what we had to do. Also a producer was whispering to the couple with the complicated intro what to do while daddy dearest and I watched obliviously.

We came out to do our bows, and dad's and mine were noticeably crapper than the other guys. We basically tied normal bows. This is when we started to wonder about the integrity of the show....

After that we did one of those mimey things, I had headphones on and dad was doing the mimes. Bearing in mind I was 17 at the time, and had heard of these people, I wasn't going to guess Shirley Bassey, Tom Jones or Tina Turner from the mimes. Especially the way my dad did them. What made it worse is that the headphones were blaring out backwards music, so I couldn't even think of any singers, let alone guess what the hell my dad was trying to do.

The first one was Michael Jackson. I could only think of Celine Dion. The second I think was Shirley, I could only think of Leanne Rimes (why why??) I think I got 2 right in the end. So we were led slowly off stage with our stupid wobbly men things waving and supressing our rising anger. The show was very blatantly fixed, but we had a lovely time anyway as it was always dad's and my ambition to go on the Gen game. I'm not too bitter but i do sometimes wake up screaming.

The couple of couples before us did a skit which involved Davidson getting cracked on the head with a sugar-glass bottle. It went slightly awry and he got cut on the head and had to be taken away and cleaned up HA!

Sorry this isn't that funny, but it was quite an interesting insight.

Oh, and Davidson didn't sign my wobbly bloke when I asked him to, the cunt

THE END
(, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 11:59, Reply)
Not yet, but will be
Saturday will see me getting my quiz on filming the next series of University Challenge, to be broadcast at the beginning of next year.

My friend has offered me £100 to answer one of Paxman's questions with "Your mum". I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to go for it.
(, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 11:32, 4 replies)
Brief Encounter
A seamstress friend of mine had a young gentelman in her shop recently. He was a strapping young lad named Terry, a fine looking specimine with a chiseled jaw and bulging byceps through his suit. A real vision of loveliness in my mates eyes. She went a bit weak and damp at the sight of Terry. This real gent then went onto explain he’d tripped in the street and fucked up his slacks. He had a meeting in half an hour and needed them repaired urgently. My mate, trying not to sound too eager, advised Terry to take his trousers down so she could fix the gaping hole (when all she could think about was the gaping part of her own anatomy).

The gent did this and stood before her wearing only his tight breifs. My God! Thought my mate. He’s hung like a fucking drawbridge! My mate turned and started working on the trousers. But then she felt a soft caress on her shoulders, a hand trail down her spine and stroke her arse. Terry was obviously feeling a little randy. Without a word my mate slipped out of her jeans and panties and bent forward, still working on Terry’s trousers. And within moments Terry had slipped inside her from behind, and my mate screamed. He’s so BIG!!! She thought. My God, his cock’s so wide I think he might split me in two like a bit of kindling.

And she sewed the hole in the trousers while this vision of lovelines in her eyes, the stranger named Terry, burrowed his long hard and extreamly wide battering ram up her cock chute. All the while she let out little screams of delight, of pleasure, of exquisite, delectible pain.

As she finished closing the hole in the fabric, Terry finished opening the hole in her groinal area. And then Terry put his trousers back on, thanked her, and left. And my mate is always reminded of this breif encounter when she goes home and sees the fuck off big TV in the corner of her room... You see, she has a...

... sew knee wide scream Terry vision
(, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:38, 2 replies)
Scrotal Recall
Earlier this year I worked as Quiz Producer on Q&A show Terry Wogan's Perfect Recall.

If you are unfamiliar with the format basically it's a General Knowledge quiz with the same one-word answers in each round, but with different questions each time. The answers all stay on a board for the audience (but not contestants to see).

I must have been working late because the words NUT and SACK ended up together on the board in one show and stayed up on their own almost until the end of the round. It was only noticed on repeated viewings during the edit at which point it was too late to re-record.

It's a good thing I didn't realise the hilarious possibilities until my contract had finished else there may well have been one in every show.

Not sure if it's aired yet but look out for it soon on YouTube.
(, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 10:14, Reply)
I applied for a TV show once
I went to an open audition with a load of other people, all seemed fine, we chatted, wondered what we were going to be asked etc.

Turns out the interview consisted of a few physical 'challenges' and I really thought Id breezed it. Everyone else was on the floor after the first one! (we had to go for a jog round the park)Puffing and wheezing and just getting really pissed off about how tired they were?

I got a letter a week or so later informing me that I didn't make the show! I was gutted, but the show was a total dud anyway so it turned out ok in the end...


Anyone ever heard of 'M.E. on tv'?
(, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 9:18, 1 reply)

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