OCD's
I've scanned the list briefly and don't remember seeing a QOTW about OCD's.

This could be quite a fun one to do.
( Mrs.Sp@m, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 23:46, Reply)

Crap films

Me and my mate have just started 'whack film of the week', where each week we watch a poor film and see if we can out-do it the week after. This week's film was 'Son of the Mask' which was truly awful, but not as bad as the worst I've ever seen - 'Gosford Park'.

What's the worst movie you've ever seen and why?
( Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 22:02, 10 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Keep fit disasters
I joined a gym a few months back and all was well and good, until the fateful keep fit class where i was to busy eyeing up the lovely ladies and fell off my stepup board flailing backwards and accidently lumping a poor chinese lady on the nose. The resulting blood caused two other girls to "need a sit down" very fast and in the resulting chaos i very appologetically and red faced made my exit sharpish.
( Trollman, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 16:39, Reply)

How b3ta has changed your life
If I'm walking round the office with a spoon and encounter a middle aged colleague bending over I have a rather strong urge to shove it up their arse, having read this reply to a QOTW.

I'm sure that people's lives have been changed by b3ta for better or worse, especially by the QOTWs. So how has b3ta changed the way you do things?
( krang, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 14:17, Reply)

You're not supposed to have fun...
...that's why they call it work.

What's the most fun you've had at work? I remember six of virtually rolling around on the FL when someone wondered aloud what our Sales & Marketing Director (aged 58, bald, cross and fat) would look like in a pair of Speedos.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 14:04, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Hotel Splendido
We've had crap meals out - but what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 9:17, Reply)

Last Night I Missed all the Fireworks
To what important events have you been oblivious for frankly rubbish reasons? (One supects that intoxicants of various sorts may be involved...)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 9:15, Reply)

Police
Police stories. You must have some. Pray share them with the world.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 9:14, Reply)

Little things that freak you out.
We've had "Little things that turn you on", but what freaks you out? Not the big stuff, life, death etc, but the small everyday occurences. For example, for me, it's men doing yoga. I don't know why, but for some reason, really bendy men engaged in a downward facing dog (*) makes me a bit queasy. It's not rational, but there you go. What makes you a bit, well, icky...?

(*) A yoga pose, not a reference to gymnastic bestiality.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 19:20, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Childhood ambitions fulfilled


Have you ever got around to doing that thing you promised yourself you'd do when you were grown up, because you weren't allowed to/couldn't afford to as a child?

Harpo Marx once bought $25 worth of black jelly beans and ate them by the handful all through a film, thus curing himself of a long held ambition in one fell swoop.

I'm desparately wracking my brains for any sort of childhood ambition...I did want to be a writer when I was about 18 or 19, and posting stories of my yoof on b3ta is kind of fulfilling that need.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Bizarre Dreams
I've decided to start keeping a dream diary after recently having a series of strange dreams. This culminated last night in a dream in which my Dad and I got pulled over for speeding, but any semblance of authority the young constable held was soon lost after we noticed that the officer's name was 'Girly', as in P.C. Girly.

What strange visions in the night have you had?
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 18:11, Reply)

Pride
What has been your proudest moment in your life?

Or when have you fallen flat on your arse and your pride has taken a serious kicking?

Once after I my wife left me and I was really hard up I tried to pay for £5 worth of petrol with change and was 20p short, everything had sort of built up, this was the final straw and I stood at the counter and cried openly.
(Barry Chuckle has gone out in the thong to feed the pigeons, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 11:49, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Weddings!
This is the awesomest thread on QOTW ever (or since QOTW started having threads). More please.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Sun 6 Jan 2008, 1:37, Reply)

Things you've misunderstood for years - like real world misheard lyrics
I'm sure everyone has a few things they never really 'got' but thought they did at the time. Only to discover years later they had it all wrong.

I mean apart from misheard song lyrics, childhood things or things other ppl misled you about. Things you really should have had no problem with and everyone else understood just fine.

eg:
one day on b3ta someone posted a thread with just "Gaz IM me" in it.

Now, I seem to have been the only one who read it as a poorly punctuated philosophical statement. I thought that they were trying to say "Gaz, I'm me!"

Only a few years later did I come to realise it was supposed to be IM like instant message.
( Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sat 5 Jan 2008, 7:51, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Those little things you do or say
For example, when I'm at work (I'm a chef), I might have two steaks, and I must tell the waiter or waitress which is which (relating to how they are cooked). So I might say "rare to the left of you, well-done to the right" in order to fit the song lyric "clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right" from "Stuck in the middle with you".

If I'm driving on the motorway and change lanes, and a driver leaves the lane I have just entered and moves into the lane I have just left, I say "shall we dance?"

I'm not really talking about anything related to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or similar (although that could bring some interesting answers), just the little things you do for no real reason in your day-to-day life.
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Thu 3 Jan 2008, 0:44, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

In honour of the new year
How about "worst hangovers ever"?

I had one so bad I ended up in hospital.
( Queen of Cheesecake, Wed 2 Jan 2008, 16:18, Reply)

Waltzing Matilda
We've all run away from home, gone travelling, or simply spent twenty minutes on the road corner with our school bag and toothbrush waiting for mum to come and pick us up. But what sort of madness did we get up to before the inevitable return home?

Oh, and I've just dropped my cherry. Hello B3ta.
(sorry., Wed 2 Jan 2008, 5:29, Reply)

Stupid questions / stupid answers
My first exam as a student was in Environmental Biology.

In order to ease us in gently, the first question was "Why are plants green?"
Most of us correctly waffled on about the wavelengths of light absorbed by chlorophyll.

However, Richard M******* had other ideas :

"Why are plants green?"
"For camouflage."
( finnbar has officially retired, Mon 31 Dec 2007, 10:25, Reply)

Really Bad Customer Service
Taken from a corporate bollox customer service training day I went to recently. We were asked to think of examples of really bad customer service we had received. Name and shame those companies that have ripped you off or made your life a misery.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 23:54, Reply)

ocd
what stuff is there that you just HAVE to do, like turning all the ligths off and on when you come home.
(apo-dap, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 20:31, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

injuries recieved during sex
A couple of weeks ago, my lady decided to restrain my wrists with a leather belt. It was all fun and games until i realised I couldnt feel my thumb. No worries, thought I, The feeling will come back once I get released. Not so. I still cant feel on half of my thumb. But hey, it was a good night.

Lets hear some stories of injuries sustained in the heat of the moment.
(ptentacle, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 12:18, Reply)

Embarrassing moments at gigs
Of course, embarrassing moments happen everywhere, why gigs particularly? Well, due to the nature of music, many gigs are ridiculously "scene", with people trying much too hard to impress, and as such fall from graces are generally more spectacular. Factor in large amounts of witnesses, and indiscriminate drinking/drug use, and you have a recipe for much carnage.

Take a couple of examples:

I was once at a NOFX gig, being the little punky ska kid I still am today. For those that may not know, NOFX are a punk band, not MASSIVELY hardcore, but more underground than someone like Blink 182 say. By any stretch, far too punk to do a kind of "I love you" mime to - involving pointing at my chest, drawing a heart in the air, then pointing at them. Now, I am a tall guy, generally head and shoulders above in any crowd. I KNOW the lead singer saw me. I was SURE he was gonna say something. I died a little inside. He kinda sneered, then played the next song. Thankyou Fat Mike, for not shaming me.

Another time I was at a [spunge] gig, partaking in a bit of crowd surfing. As such, I made it onto the stage, the crowd went right up to it, no barriers. Other people were then diving off, back into the mix - but as I said, I'm fairly tall, and didn't fancy hurting anyone with my flailing limbs. Now, the [spunge] guys seemed like decent sorts, so I chanced my arm at joining the guitarist in a spot of backups. He seemed a bit peeved, even more when my shirt sleeve caught in his headstock. I would wager he was even more peeved when I pushed for that elusive note too hard, retched over the mic, and got a bit of sick dribble on it. I didn't stay to find out to be honest.
(bacontrout got ska, Sat 29 Dec 2007, 21:32, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

"A new slogan for b3ta"
I think "We love the web" is a little dated, maybe we should come up with something better


I'll start


"B3ta.com - at least it's not 4chan.org"
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 14:39, Reply)

Mobile Phone Mishaps
Embaressing Texts, Disgustingly mis-sent Photo Messages & Regrettable Drunken Phonecalls... Post your reasons that support the implementation of breathalisers & built in common sense screening to our favourite Mobile devices.

I was a typical mid teens chap at college with the usual eagerness to interact with girlkind- it was this over-enthusiasm that was my downfall.

After recieving a rather saucy text from a girl earlier in the day, I decided to respond in kind as I got onto the coach home- informing her of my bedroom intentions for the evening.

After repeatidly removing/replacing the battery, trying to rapidly change message settings etc I gave up trying to stop the text sending and faced the fact I had sent the message not to Joanne... but to John, my good mate sat in front of me on the coach.
( the dalai farmer always likes tea, but especially on, Fri 28 Dec 2007, 11:01, Reply)

Lost in Translation
Years ago, after our first year as electronic apprentices, and our first year's meagre pay, my friend Johnny & I went on a week's holiday to the south of France.

I had a French 'O' Grade (old Scottish 'O' Level type-thingy) and decided I could "speako da lingo", so we went to the campsite shop.

"Bonjour! Je voudrais du pain, du beurre, du fromage . . . " (Hello! I'd like some bread, some butter, some cheese . . . ) and it all went swimmingly. Johnny was well impressed.

"C'est combien?" (How much is that?) and I handed over the largest denomination of Francs (It was a while ago) we had between us.

Got the change and looked as if I was counting it (as if) and swaggered towards the door like the cat that got the cream, dead proud of myself.

At the door, I turned round, and to cap it all, bade farewell to everyone in the shop: "Aujourdhui!"

(Au Revouir is "cheerio", Aujourdhui means "Today")

Merde!
(geedubya, Fri 21 Dec 2007, 0:39, Reply)

Pardon?
There are times when we mishear our friends, and those times often lead to embarrasing situations. Once, a mate asked me to get her two WKDs, and I ended up mishearing her and getting two double JDs. Needless to say, I had to drink both of them and felt quite odd for the rest of the night. I was only 15 at the time.

When have deaf ears fell upon you?
(__, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 12:48, 1 reply, 17 years ago)

Partywankers!
What's the most hilarious thing you've done to a mate when they've fallen asleep?
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 21:31, Reply)

Christmas Time!!!
As it's the season of joy and goodwill, why not give all b3ta users a chance to share some stories of Yuletide joy with everyone? Things from naff presents to drunken bust ups or to any other seasonal story which they wish to share!

Oh, and Merry Christmas to all!
( sausagesucker just paid £5.00 for a cup of Tea!, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 20:33, Reply)

Since it's the Festering Season...
And it's traditional to hurl abuse at close family members, pets, inanimate objects and yourself, how about a proper get-it-off-your-chest-end-of-year type abuse-fest. Nobody exempt. Even (gasp) B3tans. And kittens. Fluffy twats.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 16:46, Reply)

Christmas punch ups
We've all had a drunk (or not) Christmas punch up with someone, who fueled your hatred and what happened.

Mine was my brother breaking my Sega MegaDrive not 10 minutes after it was out of the box and me giving him a lovely shiner....bastard
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 15:18, Reply)