Drunk at work
Have you ever been drunk at work? What crazy shenanigans did you get up to? Did you tell your boss to stick it, or create some havoc? Last time I drank at work, I crashed my car through a steel pole (shattering the windscreen), resigned (screaming FUCK YOU!!!! with two fingers up), reversed into a bollard, averaged 80 on the way home with blue lights on the horizon and lived to tell the tale ...

How about you?


(Am now a boring IT spannermonkey, but back in the day...)

EDIT: All true. Hail to the length.
(hangableautobulb is an anagram of the best album ever, on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:33, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

How about -
what's your favourite system for replying to things on b3ta? Me, I favour the linear way. Why? BECAUSE IT'S BETTER. Meh.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:03, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Insane lengths you have gone to loose weight or get fit?
At the moment i am going attempting to loose weight in order to be able to complete in a triathlon next year. All i eat is fibre and protein and the consequences are off the bowel rupturing Richter scale. They actually open all windows in the gym upon my arrival.

So what insane lengths have you gone to achieve weight loss or fitness.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)

The greatest example you've witnessed of wasted talent.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 2:49, Reply)

Feral Youths and their Stupidity.
A friend of mine encountered a group of neds on a night out in Edinburgh. He'd been at a fancy dress party and was dressed head to toe in leopard-print getup.

Sidling past a group of neds, they start to give him abuse.

"Hey paaal, see that hat...

...

Maks ya look like a fuckin' zebra!"

He stifled his laughter for fear of a kicking.

What has been your most memorable experience with the stupidity belonging to the feral youth of today?
(Schumann makes awesome quiches., Sat 13 Sep 2008, 15:18, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Driving Adventures
Road rage, road trips, traffic jams, breakdowns and more.

How about some stories from the open road?
( SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Sat 13 Sep 2008, 1:34, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

What's the most childish thing you've ever done as an adult?
Mine probably came during the aftemath of my marriage break up. Still having a key to the former marital home (we were on good terms, plus I sometimes went to feed our cats), I went to the bathroom for a slash one day. Spotting a strange toothbrush and razor in the bathroom I surmised that these must belong to the bastard my missus ran off with.

So I pissed all over the razor, and for good measure, wiped my arse on his toothbrush.

That showed him.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 19:03, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anything...

Really, anything.

As long as it's brought in quickly and kills off the existing QotW.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 16:14, Reply)

How about we do a nice one?
After the spillage of hatred juice that was the customers from hell QOTW, why not do..."What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?"

Let's get some awwwws going.
(GONEism, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 12:53, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Most Uncomfortable Poo
Blood? Anyone?
(zombiejosh wrow, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 3:08, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Underqualified coworkers
So simple, so common, so irritating. What cluelessness have you endured at work?
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Thu 11 Sep 2008, 12:44, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What about 'flatmate hell'?
The worst co-living experiences for flat share mongrels like me?

Bindun?
(whitehorse, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 11:33, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Are you cool?
Well, are you?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:35, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh, and...
In a few weeks I'm starting a new job where I'm going to be working in a £50 million brand new campus managing people and whatnot. I'd like to learn some new office pranks, games and misdemeanours to piss off my new underlings.
(GONEism, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 15:32, Reply)

How about...
The absolute worst pain you've ever experienced, ever. Childbirth is not allowed as an answer either.
(GONEism, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Six hours to the end of the world
This should have been last weeks QOTW but I was too busy preparing to suggest it :) Imagine CERN just created a black hole and it is slowly sucking up the world, you have around six hours before you get sucked up. No idea why six hours, not a scientist but it sounds a good number.

What would you do in those six hours? Say goodbye to family? go on a looting and pillaging rampage? get drunk/stoned? Anything is possible and there would be no come backs (in this life anyway) as it will all be over soon. Personally I would hide under the duvet, always works :)
(emuholic, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:18, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Most unfortunate tattoo.
I studied Madarin Chinese at school for no better reason than I couldn't stand French.

Fat lot of good its done me so far.

However, the craze of Chinese character tattoos starting in the mid 90s has been a barrel of laughs.

There are so many idiot chavs utterly ignorant that their ever-so-cool tattoo is a misspelt, poorly written insult of some kind.

My favourite was some trashy bint who asked for her bfs name to be tattooed down her horribly podgy belly.

The tattoo 'artist' wrote 'supermarket' on her flabby flesh. Haaaaahh! Well, she did look like she was open 24 hours a day!

So what's your tragic tattoo story?
(Que?, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 8:08, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

the meaning of life
have you ever been drunk/under the influence and come to some deep meaningful conclusion or amazing theory which made sense only to you?
(ms.twister, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:43, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

My worst ex
Some exs we remain friends with, some we couldn't be bothered to ring anymore, some we would breathe a sigh of relief if they fell right under a speeding bus. Tell us about your worst exs.
(trippeh, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 19:46, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

With friends like these..
How have you been stitched up/let down/royally buggered by your so called mates?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 8:37, Reply)

Awful Student Accommodation and Arsehole Landlords
I've had:
-fleas
-rats
-mould
-leaky roof
-water tanks exploding down on us
-landlord accusing us of secretly having an extra tenant
-and much more

In the one house! Surely someone can top that.
(cH3$h7846J#7, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 10:22, Reply)

The chavyness of chavs and their kids
Have you got a hilarious or downright stupid experience of chavs to share? My best is when I was in the ladies bathroom of the hythe and dimchurch railway after spending the afternoon being bored while my boyfriend took endless pictures of trains.
As i was sitting on the pan, a chav woman came in to partake of her business, and I could hear shrieking kids outside. The chav woman proceeded to shout out of the toilet at her kids, telling them to shut up (whilst doing a good impression of an elephant weeing), and then I head a plaintive voice reply 'mum.....what are you doin?' her reply was loud and rude, which covered nicely my attempts not to laugh myself off the toilet.
(PixelGirl unlock the mind...unmind the lock, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:20, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Pretend to be someone else
This week, you will take on the posting style of a well known QOTW poster and try and pretend to be them.

You can write about anything you want but you must trick people into thinking you're another QOTW regular.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:57, Reply)

Best QOTW in fucking ages!!!!
Hiya,
"Will you go out with me" has been brilliant and there are some awesome stories, how about we have it for another week cos its so good and there are so many more stories out there I reckon....

Reply supporting if you agree!!!

:P
( b3tz, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:35, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Extreme!
There's Extreme Frisbee, Extreme Ironing and probably Extreme Tapestry out there. How have you made a seemingly mundane hobby much more interesting?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 15:28, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Party games
Xmas 2006 - playing 'fuzzy duck' with my 80 yr old nan and several members of my family.

Having never heard my nan swear before, and then being treated to the best scouse "DUZZY FUCK!!!" ever, was one of the best xmas surprises ever.

What interesting party game stories can you recollect?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 14:58, Reply)

What's your compulsive disorder?
Mine is folding empty crisp packets into a neat little triangle EVERY FUCKING TIME.

Drives the misses up the wall, sometimes I have to stuff it in my pocket and do it later.

What is it that you can't avoid doing?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 13:48, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Excuses
Dammit - I've just been selected for jury duty. I don't think my old fallback of 'chronic masturbation problem' will get me out of this one.... what are your best excuses for getting out of something?
(Lord Blumpy is mildly off-topic on, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 17:42, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)