Camping woes.
Everybody at some point has been camping and suffered some indignities.
Have you squatted down to poo only to get your bare ass stung by nettles or pitched camp on a firing range?
Regale us around the campfire.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Mental people from your school.
We had a pure fruit cake.

Examples include:
-Being able to recite entire Jurassic park script perfectly, to himself.
-Being found out of class by vice principle and when asked what he thought he was doing, proceeding to kick out at the VP and scream "what the fuck did you do with my spaceship!"
-Getting pissed off with maths and sticking a compass into his hand.
-Going around the entire school calling all the blonds "vikings".

This guy is now apparently a pilot.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I doubt my suggestion would get picked twice in a row, but here goes anyway
I was in the kitchen just now and I dropped a £2 coin which rolled its way under the cooker.
"Bollocks!" thought I and got down and peered underneath to see where it went. It didn't get very far because it ran into the wall comprising of thick dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a dessicated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery.

So, how (un)clean is your house?

Students should get a handicap of 2 clicks to make it fairer on the rest of us.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Claims to fame
Purely because I have a story whch I don't think enough people know.
(Carpet Scoot writing you from the god fearing US state of NC, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 19:21, Reply)

Bosses we have known.
Ever had a great boss?
Ever had a right twat lording their role over you?

Spew the bile, or make us wish we worked with you.
(Scritty Bakerman., Tue 23 Mar 2010, 14:34, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

The Walk of Shame
We've all done it. Specifically one New Years days having to walk 2 miles home through the mean streets of East Hull wearing nothing but a binliner and barefoot.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 8:15, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Inserting 80's lyrics into conversation
I met a girl down at the beach the other day. Exotic type. Said her name was Rio and she dances on the sand. Points for invention and leading the reader away from the punchline!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 18:16, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Unintentionally hilarious
"Who left the bloody toilet seat up!" screamed my harpie ex girlfriend one day, "I'm having a crack down on that!"
Of course you are dear.
Ever heard or seen something unintentionally hilarious?
( difficultchild, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 21:47, Reply)

Confessions
Have you been hiding a dark secret for 20 years? Is there something bottled up inside you, gnawing away at your very soul?

It's time to finally confess! Stuff you've never, ever admitted to anyone, ever. Old crushes, embarrassing mishaps and things that were Your Fault but have never before admitted to.

Me? I stole seven quid off my Dad's dressing table when I was 10, then claimed it was saved up pocket money when he asked where I got it. I've been sitting on that guiltily for 17 years.
(Bewareofthephil, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 19:56, Reply)

Enhancements
What have you done to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex?
Have you stuck a pair of socks in your pants (gents), or have you believed that the colour orange is attractive (ladies and men actually)
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Sex
Have you ever had sex? Was it any good?

We could literally make Amorous Badger spontaneously combust if this works.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:11, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Sleep Deprivation
I once stayed up all night before doing a presentation at university. I was so wired I had to ask my lecturer to hide his guide dog because "he was freaking me out".

What's the longest you've been awake for and what kind of crazy shit did you see and do?
(allthatglittersisglitter, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 0:13, Reply)

There's a general election coming up
How about we spout politics for a week?

A chance to tell everyone what you think about politicians, politics, democracy, communism, conservatism, flatulism, all totally uncensored.


Unless you are BNP (that's like thick KKK without the robes, for our American friends)
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 16:47, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dreams and their meanings
As aROKEN aRROW suggested below, but with points scored for interpretations of the dreams in the replies. Oh go on, please?

or at least the travelling/holidays one instead
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 17:05, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

When I was about 10
my friend asked what makes things fall down. I told him that the Earth pulls things towards it because it was so large, which is pretty much how my big brother (who was doing O Level physics at the time) explained it to me.

My friend's dad said that was rubbish and said that it's the air pushing down on us that holds us on the surface and that if there was no air, we'd all float off into space.

What amazing displays of ignorance have you encountered?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 15:45, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What would make you die happy?
What events have you seen or would like to see that make you think "I could die happy now"?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 21:40, Reply)

Its April 1st soon...
What is the greatest April fools gag you have pulled off or been a victim of?
(Nayson, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 19:51, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Following SmashMonkeys post ..http://b3ta.com/board/9961870
have you ever intentionally or unitentionally been really cruel to your kids/someone elses kids
( claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Mon 15 Mar 2010, 19:37, Reply)

Re- occuring dreams/nightmares or just weird dreams/nightmares you have had
re-occuring dreams/nightmares are better though. It gives us an insight into to your warped minds.....:D I used to have the same nightmare for years when I was very young, we moved house and they stopped, as if by magic. They were bad to say the least and resembled, even at that young age, Japannese horror movies :(
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 9:38, 19 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The ten commandments
of the internet.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Prison
How many of you have been guests of the government? Tell us the sordid tale of your time doing bird.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Totally inappropriate things to say.
The other night, I was having a bit of a manic episode at my boyfriends, and his daughter knows I have severe depression.
She told me I should just go kill myself when her dad and I were arguing.

What inappropriate things have you said/been told?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 21:43, Reply)

Who/What wakes you up in the morning?
Inspired by this answer: www.b3ta.com/questions/letterstheywillneverread/post657902
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 11:38, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

First date disasters.
Ever had a date that started off promisingly only for it to go completely tits up before the end?
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

"I'll explain when you're older."
There's lots of things you don't get as a kid, like the moments in movies that don't make sense to your four year old brain but make your Mum and Dad shriek with laughter. Then a couple of years down the line comes the inevitable slow dawning moment where you can only wonder at your own naive innocence.

Me? I watched 'Allo 'Allo as an eight year old and found Lieutenant Grúber to be funny because of the way he talked and acted; I was sixteen and catching a re-run on satellite when I actually realised that, well, I was half right.
(greenycrimson I stole the from pyschotherapist, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 23:10, Reply)

Stolen!
We have all had stuff half inched from us from Bikes as kids to you loose your ipod and then your workmate suddeny comes into work with one, What have you had lifted with tragic/hilarious consequenes?
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Passive-aggressive
I guess most of us at some point have taken the snide way out of a confrontation by leaving notes instead of talking to the sod who's been using your milk, but how far have you lot gone? Laxative-impregnated butter? Chill-dusted loo-roll?

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 9 Mar 2010, 21:25, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Pathological Liars part 2
In all seriousness, I'd like to see this QOTW make a comeback. The stories in the last one were top notch and we all know a Billy Bullshit. This kid I was at primary school with played in a pipe band and was a well known bullshitter. One of his astounding claims, made when he was around nine or ten, was that the words 'dick', 'cock' and 'dickhead' came into popular use in the area due to the band he played in.

A Scottish amateur pipe band. A notoriously foul mouthed musical genre I'm sure you'll agree.

Another guy I know made outlandish claims- he'd picked up Japanese just by 'reading some books'. Japanese books. With no accompanying translation. Also claimed to speak French, so I asked him what the lyrics to Plus De Liaisons by Tindersticks meant.

I have No More Affairs by Tindersticks. His 'translation' bore no resemblance whatsoever.

Bullshitters! Tell us your stories of outrageous lies and vainglorious posturing!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 0:01, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Doctors, Dentists, Nurses, and Hospitals
Ever been on the receiving end of some quality health care? Tell us about it...
(tingtwatter Eating loads of red meat since, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 17:38, Reply)

Romance
Last night I told my girlfriend that if she ever turned into a vampire, I'd definitely hesitate before killing her.

What's the most romantic thing you've ever said, done, or experienced?
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 10:18, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)