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This is a question School Assemblies

Our school assemblies were often presided over by the local vicar, who once warned us of the dreadful dangers of mixing with "Rods and Mockers". One of the cool teachers laughed. Tell us about mad headteachers and assemblies gone wrong.

Inspired by the mighty @Rhodri on Twitter

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:43)
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(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 15:24, 35 replies)
Front right
Looks like he's taking the term 'come and praise' in the wrong way.
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 15:29, closed)
fucking hell
Thats a blast from the past
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 15:53, closed)

I was cold I was naked, were you there, were you there? I was cold I was naked were you there?
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:03, closed)
This is slightly freaking me out, I can't lie

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:06, closed)
i still remember the words to every fucking hymn we sang at primary school assemblies.
give me oil in my lamp keep it burning...
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:26, closed)
sing hosanna......

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:33, closed)
Mummy, make it stop.

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:36, closed)
and the spastic kids would accidentally sing 'of kings' after the second repeat.
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 17:00, closed)
^ that

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 19:24, closed)
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 20:13, closed)
We still sing that
and they still do.
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 20:18, closed)
this makes me inordinately happy.

(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 14:28, closed)

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 23:22, closed)
Shit the bed yes

(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 20:45, closed)
We did that intentionally.
The headmaster would turn purple with rage, without fail.
(, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 0:21, closed)
I still remember the moves we had to do to that hymn.

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:49, closed)
If seeing the cover wasn't bad enough
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 17:40, closed)
But for you to remember the Rohypnol must have worn off
(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 13:14, closed)
bloody hell that takes me back

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:04, closed)
Bloody hell!
We used to laugh at the three at the back!
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:06, closed)
Same here
Proper 'Why Don't You Belfast gang' looking muthafuckaz
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:07, closed)
The image has a whiff of piss and flared corduroy.

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:14, closed)
aka Belfast

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:20, closed)

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:26, closed)
My fave hymn was "Autumn Days" as it didn't have any mention of God or Jesus in it. Which I suppose just makes it a song.
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:34, closed)
Autumn days, when the grass is jewelled
And the silk inside a chestnut shell
Jet planes meeting in the air to be refuelled
All these things I love so well

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t forget
To say a great big thank you
I mustn’t forget.

Clouds that look like familiar faces
And a winter’s moon with frosted rings
Smell of bacon as I fasten up my laces
And the song the milkman sings.

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t forget
To say a great big thank you
I mustn’t forget.

Whipped-up spray that is rainbow-scattered
And a swallow curving in the sky
Shoes so comfy though they’re worn out and they’re battered
And the taste of apple pie.

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t forget
To say a great big thank you
I mustn’t forget.

Scent of gardens when the rain’s been falling
And a minnow darting down a stream
Picked-up engine that’s been stuttering and stalling
And a win for my home team.

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t forget
To say a great big thank you
I mustn’t forget.

It's a perfect b3ta song, as it mentions food.
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 19:07, closed)
Bacon and pie, two things for which we should all be truely grateful.

However I have to admit that I've never seen a jet plane being refuelled and I can't imagine how this might be a sight so wonderful as to offer up a song of thanks.

I might change it to something I can really appreciate like...
"The smell of petrol as the mower is refuelled"
(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 14:02, closed)
All these things I love so well

So I mustn’t forget
No, I mustn’t f..."

argh! it's infectious to just keep singing it.
(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 14:41, closed)
Fucking hell
I haven't seen that for nearly twenty five years.

It made assembly even more of an ordeal for us, as we only had one book per two pupils, so one of us had to share with Richard Moss, who used to go whole terms without bathing or cleaning his teeth.

Oh and one of the books sported a gargantuan pube that managed to sneak inside the laminated cover. We all used to make sure that Richard Moss got this copy.
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 16:35, closed)
I fucking love you pal.

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 17:07, closed)
this to win
why can't this win?
(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 13:16, closed)
we had hymn books with a swirly red and purple cover.
hymn number 6 was 'when lamps are lighted in the town' and 'all things bright and beautiful' was number 18.

i am forty and i still remember this. fuck you, churchy primary school.
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 17:07, closed)
I have the piano music version of that in my classroom
I was helping clear out the music room and found it. I couldn't let it be thrown out.

I too loved Autumn Days.
(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 20:17, closed)
Pah, Autumn GAYS more like

(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 11:07, closed)
Cross over....
....the road my friend
There's a lorry round the bend
If you want your life to end
Cross over the road
(, Sat 15 Jun 2013, 23:40, closed)

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