She's got a face
like a

bag of nails

?
( icezebra *insert large monkey*, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:36, Reply)

gasman
gas'man 1.(n) One who is employed to repair gas appliances, read meters etc. 2. (adj.) A chap who only ever services boilers. A swamp donkey fancier, dog handler, munter mechanic etc. ad infinitum. A bloke who never pulls a fit bird.
(mentalageofseven, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:34, Reply)

Box of Frogs
has always been a favourite of mine.
as in..

"hahahah, that's a complete box of frogs"

i.e. hatstand.
( icezebra *insert large monkey*, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:32, Reply)

yes Fubear
I have been using FuckSocks and Shit Biscuits for ages.

Rad is another one. I get the pi$$ed ripped out of me more for using this one then he other two!
(DirtyChurch, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:27, Reply)

bits
My six year old came home from school last week and told me that all his teachers are 'cunts'.

I went to a parents evening last Friday - he was right.
( insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:25, Reply)

The Magical Idge
Adding 'idge' to the end of everything seems to be the major one round our parts at the moment, particularly 'LOLidge' and 'foodidge'.

Gay to mean bad also seems to be doing the rounds everywhere, but not in a homophobic way: more of a kind of postmodern ironic 'girls-wearing-t-shirts-with-"fat-slag"-written-on-them' way.

Other recent favourites include: 'cocksocks', 'puttybutter', 'anal' and of course 'goatse' used whenever something is seriously vomit-inducingly sick! (EG - "Did you see that on TV last night? It was totally goatse!")
(damndirtyape, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:18, Reply)

Muller
Examples:

Don't fucking muller it, you won't get another

We were mullered big time

Named after Gerd(t) Muller, the footballer whose goal knocked England out of the 1970 world cup
(Defoe, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:10, Reply)

The Blacksmiths Arms slang
from some staff at the pub

'mare, what a 'mare, you're having a 'mare
'mare being short for nightmare, which came from a fruit machine that said "what a nightmare" when you lost. recently evolved into Tony, as in "you've had a tony" - tony blair - nightmare etc


banter - not the talking about nothing sort of banter, but when some event occurs. There are 2 sorts of banter, good and bad. Someone tells you about something good, it's "ah, good banter" etc

Also "Watch the bar a minute, I'm going for a forest" Usually Adam, going to the toilet. Forest Gump - dump

Badger - universal word for anything: "get that badger down your neck", "look at that badger", "What a badger" - also any item of food on the menu - badger masala, 8oz wexford badger, mixed badger, bacon & cheese badger, oriental sizzling badger

Goat - Gary's fantasy sex object "I want a goat on a motorbike"

Boy racer slang
Length - "You daft length", from dogs length, meaning dogs cock

Bostin' stuff - going on a huge vandalising spree and damaging public property (I don't do this)
( SarahRatt, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:09, Reply)

The kids in Hackney
have a new expression which i found amusing.

"Screwing".

They say "Are you screwing me?" and it has nothing to do with sex or being ripped off.

"Screwing", apparently, is giving someone a dirty look in the hope of starting a fight which the rest of your gang can then get involved in.

It is derived from "Screw-face", when you screw up your face and look at someone.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Mon 2 Feb 2004, 12:07, Reply)

Humbaw
A friend of mine has a dirty one.

'Gies a humbaw'

Humbaw - suck on my balls
(babybell, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:56, Reply)

More...
Obviously, speshul is used quite a lot. eg. "that was really speshul, luke" after he walks into a locked door.

Also, dirty. The worrying thing about this one is that it is good and bad...
eg. "Emma! Dirty, dirty Emma, drinking Vodka!"
and "ooh, bloody hell that's dirty".

Dirty, in the bad sense, can also be exchanged for "rough" or "harsh".

"Defend the Relm" is to drink all the vodka... don't ask (too much mortal kombat methinks). Also on the MK theme, "Goro" is the name we call anyone we hate. Either that or Smeagol.

Good name: Monkey
Bad Names (in order of badness, worst last): Moose, Badger, Mongoose.
(Small Green Hamster, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:56, Reply)

Tasty
i.e.
Your mum's tasty
I'm feeling facking tasty (hungry)
Make me a tasty spliff
That were a tasty price for that green

Not that i smoke weed or owt.
(masterbassist, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:48, Reply)

Recently we have begun...
...inserting or removing h's from words,
to create Chunt
Or adding either 'oid' or 'or' to the end of words
thus Cuntoid, or Cuntor.

This should carry a warning, it becomes highly addictive...
(Boris_the_Pig, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:39, Reply)

A good ugly bird put down
she looks like she put her make up on with a catapault
(dazron, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:36, Reply)

I am currently enjoying...
Mook (originally heard (by me) from my girlfriend): Anyone who does anything wrong or silly.

Fuckmook: (as heard by Johnny Depp in Once Upon a Time in Mexico): The same but worse.
( Micro Prawnvica, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:34, Reply)

Specialist
this ones doing the rounds round our way - specialist as in Special Needs person as mentalist is to Mad person.
(dazron, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:33, Reply)

bondexed
stuff that is broke innit. "am not coming out, me bike is bondexed" etc.
(baroo_the_cat Valley of Weights, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:31, Reply)

Vagitarian
for an exclusively lesbian woman. of course they all eat fish as well, so they're not true vagitarians.
( wingphil, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:27, Reply)

Cheeky
It seems every time I talk to someone in the media there's a new buzzword and this changes every six months. I think cheeky is on its way out now, but might still have a bit of currency.

Anything that is cheeky is good, apparently.

"We're looking for something a little bit cheeky."
"I like the way that animation moves, it's very cheeky."
( Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:23, Reply)

Rebore
On a recent trip to Australia (Which my mother bought for me as a special Christmas treat) I came to know the phrase "She's due for a rebore" This would be done by inserting a leg of lamb up in through the said womans "Bomb Doors" Once inserted the bone would be pulled out of the leg of lamb, giving the woman a "Rebore" ...........Slag!
(Mapper, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:12, Reply)

Weird one from Uni
At Wells Hall in Reading Uni, there's an insult "Mattock".

Mattock - young man who has been in his first year and at Wells Hall for 5 years, and was once caught wanking into a bin.
(Small Green Hamster, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:01, Reply)

just remembered another one
'dirtbird'

pronounced dourtbourd in my native northern ireland

never fails to make me laugh. lots

use it yourself and see the joy it brings to conversations
(sir swear a lot yes., Mon 2 Feb 2004, 11:00, Reply)

Well...
... I have caught myself using, and getting funny looks for using, the word 'fucksocks' in casual conversation
(Fubear, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 10:56, Reply)

Girl Band/Boy Band.....
..... used for anything crap or useless.
(Savlon, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 10:52, Reply)

shmachine
equals cash machine. usually said when going between pub and club and you realise that you've spent too much money already but you're beyond caring.
(christophaloph, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 10:52, Reply)

WTF?
I find myself pronuncing this as "wuhtuhfuh!"
Likewise, "ohmuhguh!" for OMG!
(Ariaxen, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 10:48, Reply)

Hmm, a few regional ones here
back home we use these words:

'shitehawk' - a hawk who lives in shite. a favourite of mine

'divvy' - jesus i dont know what it means, but i use it a lot

the word 'bifter' is an excellent choice for those portly or oversized.

'bullroot' was another popular one back in the early nineties. synonymous with a bovine erection. can be used instead of the word dickhead
(sir swear a lot yes., Mon 2 Feb 2004, 10:46, Reply)

ding
interchangeable with shite in the descriptive, if not physical, sense.

"The Stereophonics are ding"
"oh min, that's ding"
"I feel ding"

I've been cultivating this one for years.
( coco, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 10:45, Reply)

my bro
says that 'Heavy' means fuckin' eh!

But you have to say with a high pitched tip on the 'a' and with a pained look on your face like someone just made you smell their finger.
(doktored, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 10:45, Reply)

george says codify this...
vaginatarian
(magictorch, Mon 2 Feb 2004, 10:38, Reply)