My tale of social hull........
Being a newbie on B3ta I've struggled to be accepted as a "B3tard" (I loathe that term). I've tried writing "witty" (note the inverted commas) and true stories about things which have happened to me in my life. But I've noticed a curious trend. The more embarrassing, tragic and above all, psychologically damaging the story, the more people will read it. Therefore, I feel vindicated in writing the following story. I'm quite a nervous chap (read my "Fear and loathing in the dating world" post in the "Will you go out with me?" thread for more evidence) and as some of you will be meeting me on Thursday, I feel it's probably a good time to let people know something about myself. So here is my tale of social networking gone horribly wrong. Enjoy!

WARNING: The story you are about to read takes place in the real world, not Facebook.

New year's eve, 31/12/2007, I was in a club in London (it's quite a big club, you might say it goes "on and on") I was with a few friends celebrating the birth of 2008. Much drink was imbibed, many dances were had and quite a few new year's resolutions were being broken on the stroke of midnight. Midnight came and went and people were wishing "happy new year" to everyone. Anyway, 10 minutes after midnight had struck, a gentleman came over to shake my hand and wish me a happy new year. After doing so, he leant in to kiss my (female) friend. She's a good looking lass. After kissing her, he backed away saying "Sorry, mate! Didn't mean to get too close!". Before I could laugh and say "Don't worry, mate! We're just friends!", the gentleman's girlfriend turned up a bit worse for wear and screamed (at volume which could be heard in Tokyo) "Don't be stupid! There's no way she'd go out with him! Look at him!" and just in case, anyone who was listening was in any doubt as to whom she was referring to, she pointed at me.

"God, you're ugly!", emphasising her point a little more. The gentleman looked absolutely horrified and dragged his girlfriend away (whilst she was still labouring her point). For the next 20 seconds, I stood in that club with everyone looking at me. It felt like 20 minutes. I couldn't move. I felt like a prize spanner.

Now, I'm not looking for any votes of sympathy (no, really, I'm not!) and I'll take any jokes coming my way in good heart, I actually look back on this episode with a smile. But while this doesn't qualify as a "gaffe" of my making it certainly was excruciating for me!

Length? It felt like it went on forever......
(The Stig, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:57, 27 replies)

Bloody hell Stig.
He should have made his girlfriend come back and apologize. I hope she got dumped in a terrible and pychologically damaging way.
( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:07, closed)

But
Are you ugly?


(Oh, and: 9 months? In what sense are you a newbie?)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:12, closed)

Because.....
I've only recently started posting and getting involved. I signed up 9 months ago because I wanted the name "The Stig" before anybody else got it.
(The Stig, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:32, closed)

the stig
I'd lend you my "I am The Stig" t shirt but I love it far too much.
(lei, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 23:40, closed)

As it happens.....
....I already own one and I love it just as much!
(The Stig, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 8:11, closed)

That's rubbish
When I'm in charge, it'll be the Gulag for them :)
( Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:14, closed)

Kaol
stop procrastinating and do it, i might even vote for you.
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:27, closed)

Haha!
Look out Essex, Kaol MP is coming to power :D
( Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:55, closed)

can't be any worse
than Sir Alan "completely fucking anonymous, tow the line" Hazelhurst
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:18, closed)

You want to be accepted here?
Why? It's populated by fat benny's or people on medicines to combat the Fear or voices that tell them they are Lord Gaynor of Gayland.

Or fat...very very fat.

Strive to smile, live to love and if all else fails have a wank on a bus.
( Beejay Proper old bastard, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:18, closed)

aha!
The secret of life. Off to the busstop.
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:47, closed)

Benny
What is a benny?!?

I mean, I've been laughing at it since the batman/superman "eat Kryptonite knuckles" pic on the FP but, I thought it was nonsensical - does it mean something?!?
(ComplexStuff Was confused by life on, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 21:21, closed)

a hur-mur
Hope this helps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 18 Sep 2008, 11:26, closed)

Acceptance is relative
just enjoy yourself!

but don't wank on any buses in dorset.....
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:25, closed)

ouch
i feel your pain.
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:51, closed)

It sounds like she just wanted to be mean to someone, anyone.
You tell anyone that they're ugly (especially if you do it out of the blue) and it will hurt them in quite a deep psychological way.

The mean drunken bitch.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:53, closed)

As someone has mentioned, it looks like she just wanted to be mean to the nearest person.

Like in fighting/sport circles, it doesn't matter how good you are there's always someone bigger/better to slap you down...

I happen to be GORGEOUS but if I went into a celebrity nightclub and strutted around I'd get laughed at :(
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:10, closed)

Ouch & Thanks!
Damn, that'd be embarrassing anywhere but especially in that stuck up meat market!

Oh, and thanks for the reminder about tomorrow, I'd forgotten & would have been a sad panda.

*clicks* for the laugh, not out of sympathy

Bill
(bill, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:23, closed)

Is this...
Why you now walk around with a racing helmet on your head?

I've made a mental note to notice more of your posts and give comment - I see some long, decent posts going spare as they are bereft of suicidal tendency, but no more!

In fairness, I recall somebody posting s suitably melancholic post on b3ta a few weeks back with everybody telling the author to basically ‘fuck off and die’ for trying to get sympathy for the sake of it.

At least I hope that was why…
( elgordo, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:54, closed)

Thats what you get...
for being so ugly.
(wrigglesworth, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:08, closed)

nasty bitch
remember what goes around comes around, I'm a big believer in that.

Be glad you don't have an ugly personality like she has.
( MonkeyOfCode is your favourite waste of time, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:25, closed)

Too right.
I always reckon you should avoid saying stuff like that. It stays with someone. Mind you it can have a positive effect in so far as it can make someone change if they're being a social retard.
That doesn't apply to some munter mouthing off though.
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:49, closed)

I had someone yell that to me at school in a crowded stairwell...
It didn't make me feel very good at all.

Now they're no doubt a neddish dropout, probably with a preggers slag of a girlfriend and miserable life. However I have a man who adores me, looks deep into my eyes and calls me beautiful with a loving smile on his face.

Win.
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:51, closed)

bitch
She sounds like a right miserable khunt that one. Hope she slips (or gets pushed) under a bus
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 19:51, closed)

harsh :(
so what happened afterwards? did anyone come up to you and contradict her or at least give you a sympathetic smile?
( gypsy turnips, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 21:13, closed)

Nowt...
I just stood there like a turnip whilst people turned away in embarassment.

Can't say I blame them, what does one say....?
(The Stig, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 21:39, closed)

awww thats evil
not surprised her bloke is fucking around under her nose, no need for hr. She sounds like she has 'issues'
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 23:21, closed)