I thought I'd contribute an actual story, rather than just listing movie spoilers
One time I was working in the desert and a call came through on the 2-way that the surveyors had managed to get themselves bogged up passed the axle in mud trying to drive across a salt lake to an island. There had been some rains a few weeks previous, so they'd misread the dry cracked crust, that hid deep sticking mud underneath. They must have thought their momentum would take them to the island and given it some welly, but had only managed to reach halfway.
Now the thing at the time was to give a carton of beer to each man of the vehicle that rescued you, so there was a bit of a rush to get out there and claim the prize. The drillers, skiivers that they were, got there first, but managed to get their own shitty Hi-lux just as badly bogged trying to get close enough. So now it was two was two cartons per man, and half the exploration camp was gearing up like It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world.
I and my fieldies got their first, and surveyed the situation. We had two 50m extra long snatch straps, but they were at least 200m out into the lake. The only way was the hard way. The only trees in the viscinity were some scrubby specimens on the island. So we formed a group and denuded the whole area. The rest digged the sucking mud until the tire were free, hard yakka when the mercury was over 40. We then wedged as much vegetation as we could, as well as rubber mats and even parts of the roo-jack under the half-deflated tyres, and created a running-board track of wood along the wheel ruts all the way back to safety. It took a good few hours of sweat.
When we were ready we daisy chained the snatch straps, and then did the delicate buisness of pulling them out. To much torque early on and the strap can snap, sometimes whiplashing back. Every vehicle has to give just the right amount of power in co-ordination, and build once they start moving. We got them out this time. Just as well as the rains came heavy a few days later and we could have lost two vehicles. The free piss at the wet mess that night went down without touching the sides. Later we were told that the island was a sacred site and off limits, so we wouln't have been able to drill their anyway.
I never said it'd have anything to do with the topic.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 22:50, 3 replies)

The Sun is Eclipsed by The Moon
That is all
( Vambo, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 20:42, 6 replies)

Thatcher, yeah, because she spoiled things. Right, guys?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 20:21, 9 replies)

Catcher In The Rye spoiler:
Mark David Chapman shot Lennon.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 19:54, 11 replies)

Apparently
entropy will always triumph.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 19:35, 1 reply)

Well it was going to be a good day
I might've got the wrong day of the week for remembering this one but hey-ho...

Anybody that turns up to work on a Friday and starts by cheerily spouting "Happy Friday!" to all and sundry could do with cocking right off! I've already arrived with a generally sunny disposition, what with the weekend being a matter of mere hours away, but somehow those two words can send a shiver down the spine leaving you cold and wanting to kill.

Leave my Friday alone you chirpy bastards!!
(Band of Rain, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 16:32, 2 replies)

I remember one time
When our head of department had been to a senior managers' meeting and had learnt something to do with the future of the company. After dropping a load of hints at our team meeting he said, "I've not let the cat out of the bag have I?"

So I said, "Well, not quite, but we can see you've got a bag, and from the looks of it, there's a cat in there trying to get out."
(K.W.A. Knickers With Attitude, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 16:29, 11 replies)

Gandalf
asked my brother while he was reading lord of the rings 'have you got to the bit where gandalf comes back yet'. oops.

'don't gandalf it' has since become the phrase we use when talking about anything with a chance of spoilers.

urban myth/friend of friend/probably already been posted one; 'he did it' in permanent marker on a poster for 'the usual suspects' outside the cinema.
(pastry, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 15:25, 5 replies)

On the subject of my work
Probably the best spoiler I ever witness was for the benefit of a young 12yr old Ian (not real name). A young messer committed to a secure unit for constantly running away. The unit itself was secure in the sense that it was surrounded by a massive security fence and all the doors on the unit were locked.

Anyways young Ian had managed to snatch a set of keys but hampered by the fact he had to unlock every door had simple managed to make it as far as the visitor toilets and promptly locked himself in there. Being a visitor's toilets it was tailored for both sexes. Being a messer young Ian had a habit of putting things in his mouth for attention.

Having managed to kick the door in Ian was removed to the sitting room were someone spotted a string hanging from twixt young Ians lips....

The male staff were removed from the room but we all gathered at the window to see one of the girls kneel beside Ian and calmly explain the facts of life. Upon hearing this most vivid of spoilers Ian vomited.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 11 Jun 2013, 14:50, 4 replies)

Children.
Working with teens in care one of the recurring themes is then wanting to have kid's as soon as they've been cut free from the state. A baby is seen as someone who will love them without condition. Who will never leave them or abandon them. What often follows is a rant the contains about a million spoilers around the reality of childbirth and what follows from shitty nappies, no friends, no going out, sick, hospital visits, near constant stress, expenses, worry, sleepless nights etc etc.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 11 Jun 2013, 14:35, 9 replies)

We had this same question a few months ago, and I was telling the chaps at work one of the stories, while down the pub.
My narrative went along the lines of "One of the stories was quite nice - about Of Mice & Men by John Steinbeck - apparently when the storyteller got his copy at school, on the first page was written 'George dies on page 161.' hahahahahahaha

What's that? You're reading it at the moment? Ah."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:33, 10 replies)

Sneaking. Hmph!
Whilst out supermarket shopping some time in 2002 or 2003, Mrs Hitchhiker and I encountered a child screaming and crying because it couldn't have ice cream there and then or whatever. Out of earshot, we mused on the traditional remedy for petulant crying children of our generation: "You're crying about that? I'll give you something to cry about!" followed by a swift crack to the head. I came up with a non-violent 21st Century alternative:

"I'll give you something to cry about! You know that film we watched with the hobbits? Well, GOLLUM DIES!!!"

Pleased with myself, I looked at Mrs Hitch for a reaction, who looked back at me shocked ...

"Gollum dies ..?"
( The Vomiting Hitchhiker Mephistopheles is such a mouthful in Manhattan, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Terry Pratchett having Alzheimer's.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:12, 2 replies)

Four guys get locked up in the only shed in the whole town that houses the right hardware to construct a flame-throwing tank.
Star Wars.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 12:00, 4 replies)

J. G. Ballard spoiler.
The main character and narrator (based upon Ballard himself) stumbles across a new community, usually as a result of some kind of car or plane accident, which is gated in some way. Ballard is initially nervous of the new community but through some act of rebellion against normal society is accepted and, as his confidence grows, he becomes a messianic figure -- in the process he also shags the main female character[s] whilst having homoerotic thoughts about the main male character[s]. After this consummation of his relationship with the community he becomes disillusioned (though, in truth he always felt an outsider even when being near worshipped) and plans an escape. The escape starts in high drama and ends with a feeling the whole thing was a dream/hallucination.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:49, 11 replies)

Banks spoiler:
Some people, computers and aliens get together and slob out, tart about with fancy guns for a bit while trying to make everyone else become space hippies, then everyone in the universe ultimately gets bored and fucks off.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:30, 4 replies)

Man of Steel spoiler
Superman overcomes adversity to beat the bad guys.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 11:01, 1 reply)

SPOILER ALERT:
Emvee is bent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 10:44, 9 replies)

Nelson Mandela dies at the end.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 11 Jun 2013, 10:03, 2 replies)

Most of the precepts held to
be truths by many of the world's religions are actually just conjecture combined with a little bit of common sense.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 10 Jun 2013, 22:53, 14 replies)

The Mousetrap
The policeman is the murderer.
(unclestinky, Mon 10 Jun 2013, 22:20, 6 replies)

B3ta ends with...
...a big fight.

Unfortunately all the /qotwers get killed early on in the cross-fire, and the situation gets steadily out of control until the whole world is drawn into the fight. Most corporations side with /links as they greatly appreciate the contribution to their viral marketing efforts, /board gets backing from liberal types who like their slant on the modern capitalist world, but ultimately all underestimated the power of /talk to enlist the gun nuts, Daily Mail readers and the like who ultimately end up triggering the nuclear holocaust.

Rob turns out to be a lizardperson who deliberately provoked this so that the aliens would be able to take over our planet. Which they do. With the assistance of both the cats and dogs, who were also acting to divide the earth into rival factions.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Mon 10 Jun 2013, 18:57, 4 replies)

24 ruined
Mrs Da Graph and I only saw one episode of the first series of 24: the last one. Then, when some friends were working their way through the box set Mrs DG points out one of the characters and says "Oh, that's the one who's the mole isn't it?" Doh!
( Van Da Graph is sufferng wth an intermttent 'i' key, Mon 10 Jun 2013, 17:56, 2 replies)

So, just how many Crying Game, Titanic and Fast & Furious
posts have there been so far?
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Mon 10 Jun 2013, 16:28, 9 replies)

It does not matter which party you vote for
the government always get in.
( Vambo, Mon 10 Jun 2013, 16:10, 2 replies)

Everything you ate or will eat in future will be horse.
Foreign GM halal horse, cruelly hacked to death by muslim extremists and full of Monsanto badness chemicals. Even Soylent Green.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 10 Jun 2013, 14:26, 1 reply)

Terry Pratchett having Alzheimer's.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Jun 2013, 13:40, 11 replies)

Pregnancy
Not my own story but one that relates to a friend of mine, Bean (her first name is Lesley although she prefers to be called Les for some unknown reason, we call her bean to wind her up with great success.)

During her pregnancy she attended the hospital with her incredibly pleasant South African other-half to receive the second ultrasound scan, they usually ask if you want to know what the gender of your forthcoming rugrat is.

She had decided that she didn't want to know, primarily on the basis that the woman doing her sisters scan had got it incredibly wrong, forcing a post-partum trip to B&Q to redecorate the nursery from a pastel pink to a more masculine colour.

Unfortunately, her other half is a Sonographer and his trained eye spotted the gender while they both watched the scan. Much to her annoyance he instantly blurted out 'Sa'Boy Les!'.

He was almost as sorry as I am.
( Muns, Mon 10 Jun 2013, 13:20, 4 replies)