People I've worked with...
or customers, or guys from school - all genuine:
Mavis Davis, Jean Bean, Joan Foan, Julie Dooley, Barbara Wanke (pronounced Vonque, not Wank-ee), Crawford Weir, Heathcliffe Edward Owen Bowen (his parents can't have liked him very much), Albert Hall.

Ooh, and Mr Richard Sole who signed his name R Sole and a Mrs Widebottom who insisted on having it pronounced Wid-E-Bot-Ohm (all 4 syllables)

And in town the other week I heard a mother chastise her annoying runt who was being a bit of a shit at the time by calling out "Ralph-Jay, stop that" - as if being called Ralph-Jay wasn't bad enough.
( JugglerJAF It's curtains for you.Lacy gently wafting curtains, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 20:03, Reply)

At school...
No word of a lie I knew this girl called Ellen Allen, and her brother was called Alan Allen, proper chavs with dim parents. A friend of mine also taught a child called Dwayne Elvis Aaron Presley Smith, whilst I used to deal with a sales manager at a well known food company called John Wanklyn, I also had to speak to a Mr Hardon as well.
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:56, Reply)

Career choices.
A few years ago I had something called a hydrocyl. Without going into detail I'll say what it isn't - testicular cancer. But that's what I though it was. I spent a good year worrying about it before a friend made me go to the hospital.
So I got to the urology department, almost shaking with fear, and was introduced to my urology specialist, Mr Cumming. I still wonder at what point in his training he decided on his specialisation.
If you don't believe me: www.wessex.org.uk/medical/specialties/urology/
( Zuowan, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:55, Reply)

At the secondery school I spent two years going to/bunking off from
we had a teacher called Mr. Mathematics.
Seriously.

He taught science.
( Comma, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:44, Reply)

Names, names, names...
Everyone's heard of a Theresa Green, my sister went to school with one, I with her older brother Paul. P.Green. How we guffawed.
Then at sixth form there was a guy genuinely called Mark Hunt.
But living in Prague all this looks ridiculously basic. One minute of looking in the phonebook has yeilded a woman called Ivana Wankatova.
( Zuowan, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:43, Reply)

I work in an outbound call centre
and have to phone up people all bloody day. Here are some that stick in my head:

Wing Commander Pereguin Minty
Mrs Pettican-Runnicles
Mr A J Tickle
Arthur Grindrod (quite common surname)
Mrs L S Dee

and most recently, Mr Tobleron Gandalf (though I think that one may have been a fake). They all get written up on a board at work so we can mock them.

I used to go to school with a girl called Amber Lambert. Cruel parents. Oh and Mrs Muhnquais mum went to school with Avril Bovril. No shit.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:42, Reply)

A
girl born about the same time as my son has the first names Polly Esther. Can't recall the surname though (if it was Cotton - I'd definitely remember).
Also used to work with a Doug Ginn, and a Dave Pover (great spoonerism).
Have also known the followng;
Thomas Thomas
William Williams
Robert Roberts
Did their parents run out of ideas?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:40, Reply)

would you believe it?
how can all of these poor cranberries happen to one person??in my short life i have met:
niel down
bythesea shore
jenny tailor
ben dover (really!)
and last but not least
phil McCrack!
im just one person!what's rong with the world!?
(asme, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:39, Reply)

I used to go to school
with someone called Theresa Green.

Oh how we laughed!
( dozack, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:36, Reply)

I kid you not........
........whilst working in a call centre, a colleague of mine spoke to a customer called Mr Shitta
And the very next call was a Mrs Yurin

We were in hysterics!
(mrwendal, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:31, Reply)

oooh....just remembered
when i was at college, we had a visiting prof from india for a few weeks, he had named his 1st 3 children after the homologous series of alkanes...methane, ethane and propane....
(bambambambambam, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:18, Reply)

I'm responsible for averting some disasters
We (nurses in Maternity Ward) have talked many parents out of stupid and/or embarrassing names:

Clitoris ("But it's so pretty!")
LaTrina ("It's a toilet where?")
Harley (Not bad but the family was named Davidson)
Nair (Name of a hair removal product. what were they thinking?)

We have been unsucessful more often, sad to say:

Chon ("you know, as in Chon Kennedy!")
Velvet Boes
Kandy Kane
Veleena Fritz
twins James and Jim ("What do you mean they're the same name?")
and my two faves--
YoHighness DaFines' ('Yo' for short)
twins Chip and Dale, named not for the Disney chipmunks, but for the nudie dancers.


Our friend's name Uwe Pleban is pronounced "OOvah PLAY bahn" He got some junk mail addressed by someone who had obviously only heard his name.

The name was Hoover Fleabomb
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:15, Reply)

a few, if i can remember them
there is a bloke lives near to me called arthur schitzcarots (pronounced shi caroh), as someone mentioned previoulsy we had a Mike Hunt at uni too (preferred to be called michael), taught a lad called ardene (originally called dean, but changed to ardene after his parents referring to him as 'our dean' though that actually sounded quite sophisticated), whilst working in telesales i had the pleasure of speaking to a mr smiley, a mr naughty and A.Box (dont know if male or female, never got further than the line could i speak to a box please...then snorted and hung up....after 3 times i gave up), also came across steve mcqueen recently in B&Q
(bambambambambam, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:14, Reply)

Pair of sisters I know
Their parents are hippie Jehovah's Witnesses. So, they're of course called Tahnee and Cherish Kaya.
(NPC, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:13, Reply)

A couple of Richards
Richard Head

Richard Brain

(Richard can be shortened to Dick)

I've also heard of a person called Charley Brown
(i am definitely not a towel (or simon pegg), Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:07, Reply)

In the film The Marathon Man...
...Larry Olivier's brother is played by Ben Dova
(druidus, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:07, Reply)

sandy rear
sheisa farquar
mary christmas (no shit!)

I could go on, gotta love customer services.
( Muns, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 19:03, Reply)

I recently escaped from a certain education based government agency
where i dealt with:
Lucky Power
Ilonker Jonker
Belinda Gay Badger
Max Power
Max Speed
Mrs Era Smith
Mr Hole
Gregory Gay

all of whom are teachers.
Best of all,the very brave/stupid Mr Wankanovski.
(BadKittyDirtyKitty, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:59, Reply)

Here we go,,
If you don't believe me, you can check this out at www.yournotme.com
At tesco's in Salisbury a few years ago, there was a Manager with the name,, Dickon Head.
I swear I am not joking! His sister was named Blaire Head (what evil parents).
I'd love to see a sibling photo of them with the line 'Dickon, Blaire Head' written below it!
(syrtismajor is comfortably numb and has been worrying the populace since 1982, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:57, Reply)

heres a few that are genuine, no really
Gayford Carrott
Mr Vesectomy
(Absynth&Cheese Have you tasted my Jesus, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:52, Reply)

Years ago
I was doing contract work for Logitech, my contact there was named Charles Hicks, and with their email address format, it came up as '[email protected]', which my spam filter never failed to notice and send straight to bin. Everytime i received a mail from him, i dreamt of chicks at logitech, naked babes testing the ergonomy of mice, etc...
I also got to work with a girl called Sandy Bush, which reminded me of summer holidays
In the famous shitty names, international section, theres the almighty orchestra conductor called Kurt Moll, he's very famous but in french his name means 'short and soft'.
(Bertie, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:47, Reply)

Mates of my dads
Never met them but amongst the more amusing ones were:

Richard Fuquar
Mr & Mrs Bottom (who insisted it was pronounced bott-ohm)
Jim Slab
Kieth Crellin
(BassNinja, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:47, Reply)

My father's middle name was "Stentiford"
He got since there was a rich relative with the name - unique - very odd....
( Art101 You all have an unhealthy and morbid fascination, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:37, Reply)

well.
Before going to university, I spent a year in sixth form at North Halifax Grammar School, There was a student called Richard Edward Humphrey. Surprisingly enough, he soon gained the nickname Dick 'Ed Humphrey,
(Rhythm pants, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:37, Reply)

my nutty grandmother's nomenclature
My grandmother decided since her new married named (Amspacker, an already embarrassing name) and her husband's name was Aruthur Alto, she would create a naming scheme for her children. The first would have the initials AAA, the next ABA, ACA, ADA etc. So my aunt's name is Anita A. (can't remember her middle name), my mother's name is Alana Benay, my other aunt's name is Andra Caron, and my uncle's name is... Arick Dane. It's pronouned "Eric" and when he spells it to people over the phone they actually say "Are you sure it's spelled that way?"
( Heather S likes making stuff., Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:36, Reply)

I remember reading a letter
published in Ministry magazine (ages ago), where someone had written to the Home Office to ask for some statistics for research they were doing on recreational drugs. They received a reply signed by a Miss Bishi.
(Chloe, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:31, Reply)

Just remembered that for many years
the guy who cut my hair was called Bent Larsen.

I got my hair cut by him purely because his name amused me.
( chthonic, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:29, Reply)

Honestly
My Dad worked with a guy named R. Spill (say it out loud) - everyone called him suppository.


Also, in my first year of uni I had a lecturer called Mike Hunt... no I really did.
(Chom, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:28, Reply)

Ouch!
My grandmother's best friend is named Dotty Crotchtangle
(spigot, Thu 26 Aug 2004, 18:19, Reply)