I don't want to be a spoilsport...
well, that is a lie, to be fair.
In slavic names the letter c is pronounced "ts" (or sometimes "ch") and the letter "w" is pronounced "v"
( Zuowan, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 17:40, Reply)

my friend works
on trains and got a customer called Mrs Crabby. I found it very funny.
(davey_binbag, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 17:25, Reply)

whilst visiting my parents
My parents live in one of the southern states of the grand old USA. Whilst driving around the local area, I noticed they have little benches along busy roadsides and at intersections, none of which I have ever seen ANYBODY using. On the back-rests of these wooden benches is space for advertising. One of them had the number for a local hypnotist, alongside her name : Christina Fuchs-Arthur
Made me giggle, Arthur must be a lucky guy.
(blubear, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 16:59, Reply)

eutoka piper
mary lou butz-lutz
(nonsense, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 16:30, Reply)

Anyone with a first name like
Perry should be shot.
(Spookymuffin, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 16:28, Reply)

my french teacher was called
max bygrave...he also had bad breath. i had another teaher called mrs piemaker - weeble would have loved her
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 16:19, Reply)

I once saw a truck on the M4 which said "Wank Transport" in huge letters.
'nuff said.
(dajw, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 15:34, Reply)

Builder
who repaired my wall was called 'B J Woodcock', and my sister's english teacher was called 'Mrs. Rackshit'
(mrmonkfish yolo420weedwizard, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 14:59, Reply)

My grade 8 science teacher.

Was unfortunatly named Richard Dick

oh and I had a maths teacher named Andrew Fluck

Poor bastards.. the ridicule of many :)

-- Jim.
( Jimmer still not dead at, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 14:50, Reply)

Googled;
Titti Johnson
Simon Tosser
Roland Wank
( Calqhoon, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 14:13, Reply)

I used to work for the NEAB examination board in Manchester
doing the tedious job of checking that the examiners marks had been added up correctly in thousands upon thousands of GCSE exam papers.

To relieve the (considerable) tedium of the job, myself and my colleagues (consisting of an A-list dossing team of Summer-job students, stoners and agency monkeys) collected the stupidest names of candidates, and wrote them on the toilet wall, along with their candidate and exam centre numbers for verification purposes. I enclose the winning five, preserved in a diary entry from june 2 1995:

5: Hwlong Dong
4: Albert Hall
3: Lee Ho-Fuk
2: Neil Spacker
1: Salik Chundergrunt

There were countless more, lost to history thanks to poor short term memory retention. Now where did i put those Rizlas. . .
(muffrat, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 12:39, Reply)

...
fcked.co.uk....hilarious db of stupid names.
( Laughing Boy, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 11:53, Reply)

one of the customers at my last job
would phone in occasionally for I.T support and was very particular how he'd say his name
"Aris Karim"

also used to go to middle school with a chinese kid called Yuk

on my travels recently, saw a coach company called "GRYMM"

but best of all, we used to have a dentist in my home town called Peter Sutcliffe
(doobydooby, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 9:54, Reply)

I live in Holland......
and there's an abundance of Kok's and Dik's, but by far the best one had to be a guy who worked in the repair shop at Yamaha:

Jerry Knobout

Ooh how I larfed (repeat ad infinitum)
(Waynster James Joyce is fucking my sister!, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 8:30, Reply)

Worst Name Possible
My drama teacher once told me a story about a class he attended in an inner-city area, where you'll usually find the best joke names and this occasion was no acception. There was an African-American in his class named "Shithead."
You can imagine the teacher's embarassment during role call when she reached his hillarious monicre. Apparently, about 30 seconds of flustered silence went by until the guy just stood up and calmly informed her, "Yo, it's shi-thead."

Also, though I'm too tired to find out if someone else allready told this one, there was a couple living in South America who were cursed with the last name of Hitler. Unaware of american slang at the time, they decided that the best name for them to switch to would be Shitler.
(HeilBush Lurking since 2004, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 6:57, Reply)

i live in a hippie town
once while going through the phonebook i found a Sunburst Sunburst.

i also had a choir teacher named Willow Manspeaker. incredibly unfortunate as she was a soprano.
(sponch!, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 6:52, Reply)

funny names?
so back in high school math there was a bird whose last name was caroll, and when asked her first name, she repled christie. the teacher, on the other hand, had the attendance sheets, which listed full names for everyone. hers: christmas caroll.

on another note, my closest high school chum was a fellow by the name of logan berry. when he went on his mormon mission, he was known as elder berry. 100% fact.
(phredgreen, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 6:50, Reply)

Names
There was a kid at my last school called Roderick Brown, but he insisted on being called Rod and when he came to our school was actually registered as Rod. The role call which was taken every morning had the last names first, hehe go figure, belive me there were alot of poofta jokes.
(hairyfishbox, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 6:50, Reply)

My aunt is a teacher in Atlanta, GA. She has a new student this year whos name is Abcde. When his mother was questioned as to the pronunciation, she said "It's pronounced just how its spelled, ab-sid-ee."
( haylith has been gone a long, long time, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 6:40, Reply)

Silly names...
If you ever investigate the cornish language, you'll find several words that when applied to names brings a whole new meaning to Arts and Entertainment...

To give you an idea, here's three:
1) Cal (Penis)
2) Pen (Head)
3) Bram (Fart)

So, things like "Bram Stoker's Dracula" takes on a new meaning... You can imagine my reaction in a Toronto cinema this summer when a trailer came on and a big booming narrator mentioned the film starred "Kal Penn".

Laugh? I cried for 10 minutes and so did everyone else about 20 feet around me when I managed to stop laughing and share the joke with them...

(Before anyone says it, I know it's "Pen Cal" in cornish - but it's still damn funny)
(coulls, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 5:38, Reply)

I shit you not...
my dad's workmate is called callan duck, good scottish name there. he has a brother called malcolm and his father is called donald.

he was called donald duck before walt trade-marked the name and recived letters from walts lawyers demanding he change his name. he didn't. I kid you not.
(jinglebellsmotherfucker, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 5:01, Reply)

i knew a girl who had parents who were open white supremacists
her name was Kaitlin Karen King...needless to say all the black kids stayed away from her
there was also the girl who was named Kimberly Faye Caldwell...she used to sing the KFC commercials for us
(monhwa, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 4:43, Reply)

Unfortunate names
My first gynocologist was named Dr. Beavers. I kid you not.

Then there was a woman who said her name was "Wivonee" When asked how to spell it, she replied "Y-V-O-N-N-E." Apparantly her mother had read the name in a romance novel but had no clue how to pronounce it.
(vkacademy has made a kitten tank, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 4:03, Reply)

Well there was that american idol contestant
named Will Hung.

Insert pun here.
(Armer Farmer, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 3:24, Reply)

HK names
in Hong Kong a lot of people take Western first names for business purposes... some of the results can be quite interesting. "Apple" was alive and well long before Gwyneth had her baby. And apparently it's not too outlandish to call yourself Mettanich or Cinderella either.

My fave, though, is the man who went by Sex Chang. This is most definitely not an urban legend, as my bf's dad met him and got his business card and everything as proof. After receiving more than a few tactful suggestions from business colleagues, he did the smart thing and changed his name. To Robot.
(Mabel DelTaco, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 3:12, Reply)

Swear to God!
There was a girl in my H.S. who's name was Kathleen Jercovski......I'm sure you can imagine the fun we had with that.
(avid, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 2:00, Reply)

Melbourne's Best Names
A while back we went through the phonebook finding silly names. You might like these: Click here for silly!
(Brundy, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 1:36, Reply)

when doing A-levels
a foreign student who sat in front of me in physics was called Kenneth Wang.

His chinese name was Wang King Yu.

Oh we laughed.... at him...
( Loz I'm still here., Sat 28 Aug 2004, 1:15, Reply)

Pornstar name
Mine would be Goldie Strange. Off topic, but mildly amusing.
( Calqhoon, Sat 28 Aug 2004, 1:10, Reply)