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This is a question The Naughty Step

When was the last time you were told off? Tell us about memorable punishments you've experienced, or damn good ones you've dished out

(, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 12:14)
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Which is more humane?
A short, sharp smack or a lifetime on behaviour-modifying drugs?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 10:37, 134 replies)
Depends.
How fun are the drugs?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 10:44, closed)
From what I've heard, Ritalin isn't much fun
Half the problem stems from the fact that you get more benefits money if your kids are on it, so there's incentive to medicate
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 10:48, closed)
Hmm.
But as we've all previously agreed, hitting children is fun.

So I'd say the short, sharp smack. With an option for face-punching and emotional blackmail to be fazed in at a later date.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:03, closed)
There are alternate approaches I suppose
xkcd.com/531/
xkcd.com/573/
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:15, closed)
Speaking as someone who had a shit childhood
They're not mutually exclusive.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:17, closed)
Nor is it the case that at least one must happen.
Emvee is just trying to justify child abuse so he can breed a new generation of vulnerable, damaged slags to shove toys up.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:26, closed)
Shut your chin up sunshine.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:49, closed)
Hey man, I'm not the one saying that kids should either be physically abused or forcibly medicated.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:02, closed)
You're no fun any more.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:13, closed)
Why should they get all the fun?

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:21, closed)
Because they're kids, you fucking bastard.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:24, closed)
THEY ALREADY GET TO EAT DAIRYLEA LUNCHABLES WITHOUT BEING JUDGED, WHAT ABOUT POOR OLD BRAYNDEDD, EH?

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:27, closed)
WELL I WOULDN'T FUCKING KNOW THEY'VE FUCKING EATEN IT BEFORE I GET ANY AS WELL YOU OLD SLAG!

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:29, closed)
Ringofyre coming out in favour of child abuse here, folks.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:03, closed)

He's even started his own 'humiliation is better than a stick' school of sports training it seems.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:42, closed)
I'm guessing....
Rory.

No, wait. Not angry and snarly enough. EDIT: Yet.
Maybe Shambo's started taking his meds again..

EDIT: Battered? Really?
Not in a million years...
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:03, closed)
Rory's alt-IDs tend to start out reasonable
but he can't keep his twitchy mentalness from breaking through eventually
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:31, closed)
Christ!
It's almost like you think that what you have to say is relevant here.

I'd join your "comedy account" mate below, in the amateur leagues if I were you.

Nice to catch up, AB.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:59, closed)
Perhaps he could cut out the middlemen and discipline kids by shoving toys up them?

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:03, closed)
Once again, it's you that has this obsession with toy insertion
Says far more about you than it does about me
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:24, closed)

How will shoving toys up the middlemen help discipline kids?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:44, closed)
Oh you

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:33, closed)
Are these the only options?
Don't have kids.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:18, closed)
See, in your case I'm genuinely torn
between whether you should have been rendered catatonic by drugs or just given a damn good hiding every now and again. I think I'ma go with Sivvus and say both.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:31, closed)
Trying to solve your problems with violence.
Oh emvee :(
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:45, closed)

This is fantastic, coming from someone whose preferred means of conflict resolution is the HEADBUTT OF DOOM.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:03, closed)
By emvee's logic I did the humane thing.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:08, closed)
Not by the hair of your chinny, chin,chin!

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:00, closed)
I don't have any problems
but it might have helped with yours
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:09, closed)
Well I don't think that Sexface has bothered him since.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:10, closed)
It's all pretty amicable now, actually.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:23, closed)
You've got 99 problems,
and drug-addled bitches are all of them.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:23, closed)
Hahahahaha
Lovely misogynistic undertone there
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:28, closed)
I try not to give my kids smack


I also find that taking behaviour-modifying drugs make me not care enough to want to hit them.

Oh, hang on, did you mean that the KIDS take the drugs? That's different.

For a start, it's a waste. They wouldn't appreciate them.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:30, closed)
You should receive both. HTH.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:42, closed)
Nice one
LOL
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:12, closed)
Hmmmm, controlled, considered drug therapies given in conjunction with other non-dug treatments...
...or child abuse?

That's a toughie.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:05, closed)
Hahahahaha "controlled and considered"
Coming from a family of nursery and primary school teachers that's a complete joke.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:12, closed)
Do they all consider physically harming children to be acceptable and effective discipline?
Which schools do they work in? I'd like to know where not to send my kids.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:25, closed)
Holy fucking shit, you have kids?

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:30, closed)
It’s amazing what can happen when you have sex using a penis instead of a 1980s toy robot.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:34, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/thenaughtystep/post1856954
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:49, closed)
Yeah, it's one of the many things you can achieve as an adult and not a thirty something manchild obsessed with a gimmick from the 80s.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:35, closed)
And just think
they inherit YOUR CHIN!
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:41, closed)
I suppose there's no law against retarded people procreating
though I suspect there probably should be
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:28, closed)
Those poor, damaged uggos on your site look like they've had more than a short, sharp time on the smack.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:15, closed)
Even getting some of them to wear Stormtrooper helmets hasn't disguised how visually offensive they are.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:13, closed)
everybody's always going on about emvee's website and I've never even seen it
Someone gaz me up, yeah?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:34, closed)
You really don't want to see it Q. Once you have you can never unsee it...

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:46, closed)
I'm kind of torn, my curiosity has been piqued
Actually, as emvee's posted the link himself I'm not going to click it

What a shameless, self-whoring cyberbeast he is
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:00, closed)
You've saved yourself from years of therapy.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:06, closed)
Go on.
You know you want to.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:07, closed)
EMV descibes it as 'Neo-chic erotica for the discerning geek'
Personally I'd describe it as 'Desperate pig-ugly crack whores being sexually abused using the contents of a Toys R Us store'
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:13, closed)
You should totes do book reviews.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:17, closed)
Ah yeah, there's that misogyny again
any woman who wouldn't look at you twice is not only ugly but must be on drugs too
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:25, closed)
I get a very strong impression it'll wind up being used as evidence in court some day.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:08, closed)
You should know, you're on it.
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Chloe
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:19, closed)
I feel quite unpleasant after that.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:20, closed)
This might sound like an odd question, but.
Have you recently stopped taking fluphenazine, or haloperidol?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:32, closed)

Flickr wasn't particularly forthcoming, but from what I could gather it's not a strong resemblance. He reminds me more of staredog.

Compare and contrast.
(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:47, closed)

If you'd have been able to procure or wangle your way into the access of any photographic records of my likeness made within the last half a decade, you might have possibly concluded that I look more like this.

It's called "keeping up to date". You should endeavour to try it sometime.
(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 22:58, closed)

I didn't put that much effort into it. But, for what it's worth - I think you'd have been better off sticking with the Jarvis Cocker vibe, rather than transitioning towards Phil Collins. I bet emos and hipsters retrospectively love Pulp - could've been an 'in'.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 2:57, closed)

It wouldn't have been worthwhile. Even in that poverty-stricken phase of my life NHS glasses would have made me look like Eric Morecambe or one of Reeves and Mortimer's Bra Men.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 22:06, closed)
It's NSFW
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/i_left_my_toys_out
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:56, closed)
Yeah, because these are the only two options.
spastic.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:46, closed)
I don't really care either way how other people raise (or don't raise) their kids
it was mostly to wind up the angry spastics that infest this place

Thanks for playing!
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:29, closed)
You're certainly well qualified to judge angry spasticity on here,
as you can be reduced to howling frustrated mouth-foaming within 3 posts. Every. Single. Time. without fail. You['re a leading expert on the subject.

BTW No-one wants to play with you, I'm afraid - because your toys all reek of minge.

Soz m8 x x x x x
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:47, closed)
Oh and that's a textbook Legless Defence, flawless follow through for a perfect 6.0 from the judges.
Back to you in the studio, Dave.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:55, closed)
Thanks Bryan. We were hoping now to get some comments from Legless about the tactical use of that defence,
Unfortunately he's put everyone on 2.0.

So back to you.

Cheers.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:11, closed)

Sick burns really do seem to lack a little something when delivered by Willow Ufgood.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:18, closed)
Well Dave, in an exciting twist we appear to have had a spectator run onto the field!
As we understand it, he broke through the safety barriers by pinning a steward to a wall in what appears to be a Honda Accord, and is now using the foam that fell from emvee's mouth during his dismount as some kind of lubricant for a- Yes, I can confirm that he is now having a pokey bum wank on the field, in front of literally tens of spectators. Never in my twenty minutes as an Internetball commentator have I seen anything that has brought so much shame to the sport. Truly this is a dark day for Internetball.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:39, closed)

Unfortunately, possessing a Jimmy Hill chin doesn't actually make you a commentator.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:53, closed)
Oh dear Andy, he doesn't appear to be adding much to this match does he? He's just flailing about a bit aimlessly in the hope that it'll help his team.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:22, closed)
The referees have long since abandoned the match here, there'll be no sendings off today.
Some would say that the game has been doomed since former wunderkind and "King of the Game" Legless trolled himself into an early retirement, costing this team their star player and captain. Without him, tactics have all but vanished.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:34, closed)

If you're not VERY careful, I'll write a snarky little note about you in my profile.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:32, closed)
I'm intrigued as to what I'm supposed to be "defending"
I was just hoping a few of you would line up so I could call you stupid pricks

Again, thanks for playing!
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:43, closed)
"Aha, but it is I who have trolled you, foul wretch!" typed Emvee the Brave, squinting to see the screen through tear-filled eyes.
Pulling out a TransformersTM handkerchief to wipe away the pain, he noticed that this particular one featured Optimus Prime. Feeling his anger return, he balled the cheap rag into his fist and flung it across the room, bellowing "YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN MY TOP TEN!"
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:06, closed)
Good, good...I can feel your anger.
Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:22, closed)
Get that yoda mask and toy lightsaber away from me, I know where they've been.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:29, closed)
See, I've never owned a Yoda mask
So you're just copying Monty there...too stupid to think up your own "jokes" so you have to borrow them from someone who's (unbelievably) even thicker than you are. Bless.

*pats head*
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:41, closed)
I was going off the picture on your site of a lass up a tree wearing a yoda mask.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:03, closed)
The stupid cunt doesn't even know his OWN flidgrot.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:13, closed)
That is a spectacular word.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:16, closed)
*emails OED*

(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 7:08, closed)
Which doesn't exist, soz
You must have invented it in your little head. Bless.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:28, closed)
It's almost as if Tumblr doesn't provide any way to delete ideologically unsound content.

(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:00, closed)
Okay, let's do this again:
Do you see anything at:
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Yoda

Yet we have:
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Boba_Fett
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Stormtrooper
and
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Light_saber

and
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Star_Wars

C'mon, internet detectives, if we have a picture of a girl up a tree in a Yoda mask, where is it?
(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:03, closed)
If it's been deleted, it will be nowhere.

(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:25, closed)
Strange, though, that nothing else we've ever posted has been deleted?

(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:30, closed)
War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:33, closed)
Nah, fuck, I got nothing to hide
I found tapiture.com/image/i-left-my-toys-out-8 by googling, because, duh, that's not that hard.

It's not a picture we took, I have no idea where it came from. We may have reposted it at some point, but we've reposted thousands upon thousands of random tumblr pictures, because...uh, tumblr.

I'm terribly sorry if certain posters on this site took this to be representative of our material. But they'd be fucking morons to do that, obviously.
(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:54, closed)
Why do you hate women?
Why do you endorse (or at least, fail to condemn) the degradation of women by stunted manchildren with cameras?

Most importantly, why have you not had yourself castrated?
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:18, closed)
Did shambone do a ninj-delete?
I worry about his blood pressure sometimes.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:22, closed)

I suspect he might have done, but the collateral damage from such a sneaky manoeuvre would have been somewhat marginal in comparison to the consequences of letting the entirety of the original thread remain in its place unedited.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:28, closed)

Yeah, he did. I worry about his crippling insecurity, a little - it must be hard, to have such a burning need to seem superior, and so little ability to carry it off.

I'm not at home at the moment, but I suspect that my PC still has a window open with the previous incarnation of this thread still displayed. If it does, I might screencap it.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:37, closed)

Here we go.

Oh, and this was the link in which he expressed his true feelings.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 2:47, closed)
Cheers, HP.
Fuck Nell! He and I are the same age?

I had him in either his early teens or his late sixties.
Makes me feel quite introspective.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 4:38, closed)

Only chronologically. I gather that his mental age stopped incrementing many, many years ago.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 11:54, closed)
We need to buy him some sharper toys for his birthday.

(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 9:06, closed)
Oh, emv!
How could you stoop so low?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:26, closed)
personally, I care about people hitting kids whether they are mine or not.
but even if you don't only a moron thinks that hitting or drugs are the only options.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:27, closed)
I asked which was more humane
Only a moron would infer that those were the only two options available to them but again, thanks for playing!
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:46, closed)
Oh do get fucked you tedious little man.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:55, closed)
Which are better, apples or oranges?
You moron! How dare you suggest that there are only two kinds of fruit!
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:58, closed)
You are much much much too thick to carry this sort of thing off.

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 19:50, closed)
Cheers.
You know ... the conventional finish to a Legless defence is to fuck off and never come back. Whenever you're ready.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 19:44, closed)
Could one of the Mods please explain why this prickish troll hasn't been banned yet?

(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:59, closed)
They love his flidgrot* too much.

* (c) M Boyce 2013.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:36, closed)
Everyone in this thread should have that as their sig.
You're all as bad as each other with your funny little tantrums.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 20:46, closed)
Thanks for your interest in the position of "board mum" but we won't be taking your application further at this time.

(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 9:11, closed)
This site has a deeply ingrained rape culture.

(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:29, closed)
I'll "deeply ingrain" you.
And by that I mean force myself upon you and penetrate you against your will. Which is funny.
(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 9:10, closed)
I'll show you something else that's funny, if by "funny" you mean "ominous".
www.b3ta.com/questions/fetishes/post548221

If that doesn't count as incriminating evidence, I'm not sure what will.
(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 23:06, closed)
Christ.

(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 23:38, closed)
Tearing your dress about this just makes you look like an anachronism.
It's an odd thing to mention here, admittedly, but odder still to have saved the link. It was over 3 years ago, you obsessive puritan.
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 2:11, closed)
Ummm.
AB and his fucking archive much?
(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 2:43, closed)
Typical misogynist.

(, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 22:10, closed)
Yes.
Where are they with their step-hammers?
(, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 11:38, closed)

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