
When was the last time you were told off? Tell us about memorable punishments you've experienced, or damn good ones you've dished out
( , Thu 7 Feb 2013, 12:14)
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A short, sharp smack or a lifetime on behaviour-modifying drugs?
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 10:37, 134 replies)

Half the problem stems from the fact that you get more benefits money if your kids are on it, so there's incentive to medicate
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 10:48, closed)

But as we've all previously agreed, hitting children is fun.
So I'd say the short, sharp smack. With an option for face-punching and emotional blackmail to be fazed in at a later date.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:03, closed)

xkcd.com/531/
xkcd.com/573/
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:15, closed)

They're not mutually exclusive.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:17, closed)

Emvee is just trying to justify child abuse so he can breed a new generation of vulnerable, damaged slags to shove toys up.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:26, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:02, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:27, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:29, closed)

He's even started his own 'humiliation is better than a stick' school of sports training it seems.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:42, closed)

Rory.
No, wait. Not angry and snarly enough. EDIT: Yet.
Maybe Shambo's started taking his meds again..
EDIT: Battered? Really?
Not in a million years...
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:03, closed)

but he can't keep his twitchy mentalness from breaking through eventually
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:31, closed)

It's almost like you think that what you have to say is relevant here.
I'd join your "comedy account" mate below, in the amateur leagues if I were you.
Nice to catch up, AB.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:59, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:03, closed)

Says far more about you than it does about me
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:24, closed)

between whether you should have been rendered catatonic by drugs or just given a damn good hiding every now and again. I think I'ma go with Sivvus and say both.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:31, closed)

This is fantastic, coming from someone whose preferred means of conflict resolution is the HEADBUTT OF DOOM.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:03, closed)

I also find that taking behaviour-modifying drugs make me not care enough to want to hit them.
Oh, hang on, did you mean that the KIDS take the drugs? That's different.
For a start, it's a waste. They wouldn't appreciate them.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 11:30, closed)

...or child abuse?
That's a toughie.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:05, closed)

Coming from a family of nursery and primary school teachers that's a complete joke.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:12, closed)

Which schools do they work in? I'd like to know where not to send my kids.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:25, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:34, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:35, closed)

though I suspect there probably should be
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:28, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:15, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:13, closed)

Someone gaz me up, yeah?
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:34, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:46, closed)

Actually, as emvee's posted the link himself I'm not going to click it
What a shameless, self-whoring cyberbeast he is
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:00, closed)

Personally I'd describe it as 'Desperate pig-ugly crack whores being sexually abused using the contents of a Toys R Us store'
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:13, closed)

any woman who wouldn't look at you twice is not only ugly but must be on drugs too
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:25, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:08, closed)

ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Chloe
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:19, closed)

Have you recently stopped taking fluphenazine, or haloperidol?
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:32, closed)

Flickr wasn't particularly forthcoming, but from what I could gather it's not a strong resemblance. He reminds me more of staredog.
Compare and contrast.
( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:47, closed)

If you'd have been able to procure or wangle your way into the access of any photographic records of my likeness made within the last half a decade, you might have possibly concluded that I look more like this.
It's called "keeping up to date". You should endeavour to try it sometime.
( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 22:58, closed)

I didn't put that much effort into it. But, for what it's worth - I think you'd have been better off sticking with the Jarvis Cocker vibe, rather than transitioning towards Phil Collins. I bet emos and hipsters retrospectively love Pulp - could've been an 'in'.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 2:57, closed)

It wouldn't have been worthwhile. Even in that poverty-stricken phase of my life NHS glasses would have made me look like Eric Morecambe or one of Reeves and Mortimer's Bra Men.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 22:06, closed)

it was mostly to wind up the angry spastics that infest this place
Thanks for playing!
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:29, closed)

as you can be reduced to howling frustrated mouth-foaming within 3 posts. Every. Single. Time. without fail. You['re a leading expert on the subject.
BTW No-one wants to play with you, I'm afraid - because your toys all reek of minge.
Soz m8 x x x x x
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:47, closed)

Back to you in the studio, Dave.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:55, closed)

Unfortunately he's put everyone on 2.0.
So back to you.
Cheers.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:11, closed)

Sick burns really do seem to lack a little something when delivered by Willow Ufgood.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:18, closed)

As we understand it, he broke through the safety barriers by pinning a steward to a wall in what appears to be a Honda Accord, and is now using the foam that fell from emvee's mouth during his dismount as some kind of lubricant for a- Yes, I can confirm that he is now having a pokey bum wank on the field, in front of literally tens of spectators. Never in my twenty minutes as an Internetball commentator have I seen anything that has brought so much shame to the sport. Truly this is a dark day for Internetball.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:39, closed)

Unfortunately, possessing a Jimmy Hill chin doesn't actually make you a commentator.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:53, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:22, closed)

Some would say that the game has been doomed since former wunderkind and "King of the Game" Legless trolled himself into an early retirement, costing this team their star player and captain. Without him, tactics have all but vanished.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:34, closed)

If you're not VERY careful, I'll write a snarky little note about you in my profile.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:32, closed)

I was just hoping a few of you would line up so I could call you stupid pricks
Again, thanks for playing!
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:43, closed)

Pulling out a TransformersTM handkerchief to wipe away the pain, he noticed that this particular one featured Optimus Prime. Feeling his anger return, he balled the cheap rag into his fist and flung it across the room, bellowing "YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN MY TOP TEN!"
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:06, closed)

Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:22, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:29, closed)

So you're just copying Monty there...too stupid to think up your own "jokes" so you have to borrow them from someone who's (unbelievably) even thicker than you are. Bless.
*pats head*
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:41, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:03, closed)

You must have invented it in your little head. Bless.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 17:28, closed)

( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:00, closed)

Do you see anything at:
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Yoda
Yet we have:
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Boba_Fett
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Stormtrooper
and
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Light_saber
and
ileftmytoysout.tumblr.com/tagged/Star_Wars
C'mon, internet detectives, if we have a picture of a girl up a tree in a Yoda mask, where is it?
( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:03, closed)

( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:30, closed)

I found tapiture.com/image/i-left-my-toys-out-8 by googling, because, duh, that's not that hard.
It's not a picture we took, I have no idea where it came from. We may have reposted it at some point, but we've reposted thousands upon thousands of random tumblr pictures, because...uh, tumblr.
I'm terribly sorry if certain posters on this site took this to be representative of our material. But they'd be fucking morons to do that, obviously.
( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 0:54, closed)

Why do you endorse (or at least, fail to condemn) the degradation of women by stunted manchildren with cameras?
Most importantly, why have you not had yourself castrated?
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:18, closed)

I worry about his blood pressure sometimes.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:22, closed)

I suspect he might have done, but the collateral damage from such a sneaky manoeuvre would have been somewhat marginal in comparison to the consequences of letting the entirety of the original thread remain in its place unedited.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:28, closed)

Yeah, he did. I worry about his crippling insecurity, a little - it must be hard, to have such a burning need to seem superior, and so little ability to carry it off.
I'm not at home at the moment, but I suspect that my PC still has a window open with the previous incarnation of this thread still displayed. If it does, I might screencap it.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 0:37, closed)

Here we go.
Oh, and this was the link in which he expressed his true feelings.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 2:47, closed)

Fuck Nell! He and I are the same age?
I had him in either his early teens or his late sixties.
Makes me feel quite introspective.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 4:38, closed)

Only chronologically. I gather that his mental age stopped incrementing many, many years ago.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 11:54, closed)

but even if you don't only a moron thinks that hitting or drugs are the only options.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:27, closed)

Only a moron would infer that those were the only two options available to them but again, thanks for playing!
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 15:46, closed)

You moron! How dare you suggest that there are only two kinds of fruit!
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:58, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 19:50, closed)

You know ... the conventional finish to a Legless defence is to fuck off and never come back. Whenever you're ready.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 19:44, closed)

( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 16:59, closed)

You're all as bad as each other with your funny little tantrums.
( , Fri 8 Feb 2013, 20:46, closed)

( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 9:11, closed)

And by that I mean force myself upon you and penetrate you against your will. Which is funny.
( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 9:10, closed)

www.b3ta.com/questions/fetishes/post548221
If that doesn't count as incriminating evidence, I'm not sure what will.
( , Sat 9 Feb 2013, 23:06, closed)

It's an odd thing to mention here, admittedly, but odder still to have saved the link. It was over 3 years ago, you obsessive puritan.
( , Sun 10 Feb 2013, 2:11, closed)
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