Top Tips
Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."
( , Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."
( , Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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Get you wife in the mood for sex
By pushing your erect penis gently into the small of her back, or buttocks when behind her in the spoon position. They love that and will definetly say 'oh go on then...'
( , Wed 22 Aug 2012, 18:03, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
By pushing your erect penis gently into the small of her back, or buttocks when behind her in the spoon position. They love that and will definetly say 'oh go on then...'
( , Wed 22 Aug 2012, 18:03, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Scooby Doo and friends.
when visiting an abandoned mine, closed funfair or old hotel. Immediately arrest the man trying to buy the land, as it will be him dressed as a ghost or a frankenstein or a monster at the end.
( , Wed 22 Aug 2012, 1:23, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
when visiting an abandoned mine, closed funfair or old hotel. Immediately arrest the man trying to buy the land, as it will be him dressed as a ghost or a frankenstein or a monster at the end.
( , Wed 22 Aug 2012, 1:23, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Have all the fun of a night out on the Stella, without the worry of a hangover...
...by punching your wife in the face while sober.
( , Mon 20 Aug 2012, 15:44, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
...by punching your wife in the face while sober.
( , Mon 20 Aug 2012, 15:44, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
Show that special girl how much you love her....
... by taking photos of her from the bushes, sending her obsessive letters and killing her boyfriend.
( , Sun 19 Aug 2012, 21:36, Reply)
... by taking photos of her from the bushes, sending her obsessive letters and killing her boyfriend.
( , Sun 19 Aug 2012, 21:36, Reply)
Feel like the very top of the human gene pool
By simply going for a drink in a Yates' wine lodge.
( , Sun 19 Aug 2012, 19:21, Reply)
By simply going for a drink in a Yates' wine lodge.
( , Sun 19 Aug 2012, 19:21, Reply)
There's always time for 1 more episode of Mythbusters
Even if it is now 6am
( , Sun 19 Aug 2012, 6:27, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Even if it is now 6am
( , Sun 19 Aug 2012, 6:27, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Enjoy the experience of a foreign holiday without having to encounter any dirty forrins or their food
by half filling your bath with water, pissing and shitting in it for 3 days, then taking a swim.
Hey presto, your very own Spanish beach resort.
( , Fri 17 Aug 2012, 16:24, Reply)
by half filling your bath with water, pissing and shitting in it for 3 days, then taking a swim.
Hey presto, your very own Spanish beach resort.
( , Fri 17 Aug 2012, 16:24, Reply)
Enjoy the experience of a foreign holiday without having to encounter any dirty forrins or their food
by simply researching it all on Google maps.
Download pics of the area you "visit" from the internet and then 'shop yourself in, for some lasting memories.
( , Tue 14 Aug 2012, 13:12, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
by simply researching it all on Google maps.
Download pics of the area you "visit" from the internet and then 'shop yourself in, for some lasting memories.
( , Tue 14 Aug 2012, 13:12, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Trying to work out who keeps stealing your favourite mug from the office kitchen?
Simply get a tramp to spit in it and keep an eye out for anyone dying the following week.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 20:33, Reply)
Simply get a tramp to spit in it and keep an eye out for anyone dying the following week.
( , Mon 13 Aug 2012, 20:33, Reply)
Polevaulters, don't waste effort on running and jumping
Simply train in a chinese acrobatic school, climb up on top of the pole while keeping your balance, then just step over the bar
( , Thu 9 Aug 2012, 17:25, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
Simply train in a chinese acrobatic school, climb up on top of the pole while keeping your balance, then just step over the bar
( , Thu 9 Aug 2012, 17:25, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
Gentlemen!
Do a good deed: give teenaged girls a much-needed confidence boost by pretending to check them out when you're sitting opposite them on the tube.
Also works as good justification if the wife catches you!
( , Thu 9 Aug 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Do a good deed: give teenaged girls a much-needed confidence boost by pretending to check them out when you're sitting opposite them on the tube.
Also works as good justification if the wife catches you!
( , Thu 9 Aug 2012, 9:18, Reply)
If you can pay at the pump
Pay at the pump...
also - if you need to pay in the shop- take your card with you.. dont fill up the car, then get back in to the car to rumage around for your wallet/purse. You knew you would need money before you got out of the car.
In addition, when you have returned to the car, start the engine and drive off... Dont have a rumage around your car for things you want to have a look at.
( , Wed 8 Aug 2012, 15:24, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Pay at the pump...
also - if you need to pay in the shop- take your card with you.. dont fill up the car, then get back in to the car to rumage around for your wallet/purse. You knew you would need money before you got out of the car.
In addition, when you have returned to the car, start the engine and drive off... Dont have a rumage around your car for things you want to have a look at.
( , Wed 8 Aug 2012, 15:24, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
If your name is David Cameron or Morrissey...
...then you have a natural immunity to all poisons!
Don't believe me? Go on, drink a bottle of bleach and see for yourself!
( , Tue 7 Aug 2012, 11:58, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
...then you have a natural immunity to all poisons!
Don't believe me? Go on, drink a bottle of bleach and see for yourself!
( , Tue 7 Aug 2012, 11:58, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Give yourself an authentic Thai massage at home...
...by throwing yourself down the stairs 40 times.
( , Tue 7 Aug 2012, 11:56, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
...by throwing yourself down the stairs 40 times.
( , Tue 7 Aug 2012, 11:56, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
For a window into the deepest pits of human despair...
...search Twitter for TravelodgeUK. Saturdays and Sundays are particularly good when the punters realise that they are not at a Premier Inn.
( , Sun 5 Aug 2012, 20:13, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
...search Twitter for TravelodgeUK. Saturdays and Sundays are particularly good when the punters realise that they are not at a Premier Inn.
( , Sun 5 Aug 2012, 20:13, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
Nothing says class like the definitive ensemble
Of a body modded Corsa, bass box in the boot and as many Elizabeth Duke gold chains as you can fit around your scrawny neck and wrists.
( , Thu 2 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)
Of a body modded Corsa, bass box in the boot and as many Elizabeth Duke gold chains as you can fit around your scrawny neck and wrists.
( , Thu 2 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)
Want your clothes to smell like a scenic London park on a dewy summers morning?
Simply coat them liberally in spunk.
( , Thu 2 Aug 2012, 10:34, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Simply coat them liberally in spunk.
( , Thu 2 Aug 2012, 10:34, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Breast-feeding ladies, once your infant has finished feeding always remove your breast by turning its head in a clockwise direction.
This will prevent the mouthparts from remaining embedded in your nipple.
( , Wed 1 Aug 2012, 20:56, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
This will prevent the mouthparts from remaining embedded in your nipple.
( , Wed 1 Aug 2012, 20:56, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
Gentlemen, when shaking your penis after passing urine use a side to side rather than an up and down motion to avoid getting urine on your shirt and possibly face.
Depending on how well endowed / vigorous you are.
( , Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:44, 9 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Depending on how well endowed / vigorous you are.
( , Tue 31 Jul 2012, 14:44, 9 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Sporty people with twitter accounts!
If you're a bit thick, a bit rascist or a bit huffy, best to not bother.
( , Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:01, Reply)
If you're a bit thick, a bit rascist or a bit huffy, best to not bother.
( , Tue 31 Jul 2012, 13:01, Reply)
People on /board, when drawing CDCs ensure that the urethral meatus goes vertically and not horizontally.
That way people won't think that you've got a deformed penis with a bellend that looks like a small dissappointed face.
( , Mon 30 Jul 2012, 1:01, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
That way people won't think that you've got a deformed penis with a bellend that looks like a small dissappointed face.
( , Mon 30 Jul 2012, 1:01, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
Public & private stuff-ups.
Yes I know it's been done but it could stand another run.
( , Sat 28 Jul 2012, 23:11, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
Yes I know it's been done but it could stand another run.
( , Sat 28 Jul 2012, 23:11, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
Olympic anouncers.
Perhaps learn which the most commonly spoken languages or, indeed, the most commonly spoken European languages are. Hint: French is slightly less popular than Mandarin, Spanish, Hindi and a few more.
Or, just claim "tradition" whilst promoting Panophonics, MocDogals, Moca-Lola and any other brand Great Britain [TM] has been sold to.
[TM]Great Britain, London, 2012, Games, Sport, Olympic, England and "take the stage" are trademarks of Coco-Mac-Pana-cunts from 2011 until 2022 by order of the corrupt twats in charge of the UK.
( , Fri 27 Jul 2012, 22:41, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Perhaps learn which the most commonly spoken languages or, indeed, the most commonly spoken European languages are. Hint: French is slightly less popular than Mandarin, Spanish, Hindi and a few more.
Or, just claim "tradition" whilst promoting Panophonics, MocDogals, Moca-Lola and any other brand Great Britain [TM] has been sold to.
[TM]Great Britain, London, 2012, Games, Sport, Olympic, England and "take the stage" are trademarks of Coco-Mac-Pana-cunts from 2011 until 2022 by order of the corrupt twats in charge of the UK.
( , Fri 27 Jul 2012, 22:41, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Abolish QOTW
because you can't think up any ideas of new ones anymore
( , Fri 27 Jul 2012, 12:35, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
because you can't think up any ideas of new ones anymore
( , Fri 27 Jul 2012, 12:35, 1 reply, 12 years ago)
become a national hero
by scoring a hat trick for your country in a world cup final.
( , Fri 27 Jul 2012, 11:28, Reply)
by scoring a hat trick for your country in a world cup final.
( , Fri 27 Jul 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Avoid rape convictions
by threatening to cut her if she goes to the cops
( , Fri 27 Jul 2012, 3:19, Reply)
by threatening to cut her if she goes to the cops
( , Fri 27 Jul 2012, 3:19, Reply)
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