B3TA
Does anyone else feel proud of the B3TA username??

I have a name reffering to ass kissing which makes me feel proud..............Fuck me i need to grow up
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:58, 52 replies)

I'm proud
Of mine.
( Cawl, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:08, closed)

My b3ta username
I registered my account so I could post my first ever QOTW answer. "Now, what sort of person would do something like that?" thought I. Hence the origin of my b3ta username.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:15, closed)

@ Kaol
What does yours mean?


I'm proud of mine. I like being Chickenlady, it makes me feel like a superhero.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:19, closed)

I love my name...
Thought of at the spur of the moment and apt is soooo many ways. I can't imagine being anybody else.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:24, closed)

@chickenlady
Do do you grab a handfull of feathers from your out-stretched chest and pluck them off to reveal you've got a 'Superman' costume underneath while a narrator shouts "It's Superchicken!!!" with an echoy voice in the background? Or instead of a 'Superman' costume, do you put on a leather jacket and sunglasses when turning into a superhero?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:27, closed)

Mine
describes my name and where I was born. So it's like a mini autobiography.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:27, closed)

I love mine
I feel it is mostly descriptive. Sort of.

Did consider a self-knighthood though.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:27, closed)

at the risk of self outing
Mine's a pun on my secondary school and the boys therein - or 'boyce'....

It was inspired by one of those lunatic moments of singing to oneself - to the tune of Janet Jackson's 'Nasty'.

All together now

"Monty, Monty Boyce...all you Monty Boyce"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:32, closed)

@chickenlady
If you take all of the letters of the alphabet, remove every one that is a multiple of 5, then 3.
Convert each letter to a number, sequentially, times by Pi, then subtract 3, and convert back into letters, you get my name.

Take the numbers from my name, multiple by 12, divide by Pi again, convert the numbers to ASCII letters, and you get K A O L.
( Cawl, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:32, closed)

Mine suits me.
It's not my original name, but it's a better fit for me, I think...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 12 May 2008, 15:33, closed)

@ mistaspakkaman
I lift up my feathery skirts, flap my wings and take off into the skies to go and fight grammar crime wherever it can be found.

I like to think I'm a female poultry version of DangerMouse.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:38, closed)

My name
actually comes from two things...

I used to have chickens.

And, in the film, In the Cut with Mark Ruffalo (cor!) and Meg Ryan (meh). Ruffalo (after having removed all his and Ryan's clothes and kissed her bottom, admits to have been shown the ropes, ladywise, by a wonderful older woman - Chickenlady.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:40, closed)

Dangermouse
never fought crimes against grammar. Did he?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:41, closed)

@chickenlady
I'm confused.

So you sexed up Meg Ryan's bottom with a chicken?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:42, closed)

@chickenlady
so have you been teaching younger men the merits of bottom loving?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:44, closed)

For the record
Dangermouse never investigated any crimes against grammar. That's Chickenlady who does that.

I've never sexed Meg Ryan's bum. As nice as I'm sure it is, I have no desire to go near Meg Ryan or her bum.

I have also never taught Mark Ruffalo anything about ladies bums (sadly).

I have been known to educate younger men on all sorts of things.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:50, closed)

...
Good to get that all cleared up.

Not the answers I was looking for, but good none the less.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:55, closed)

"Good to get that all cleared up"
Ew, you always get over-excited, don't you?
( Cawl, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:05, closed)

.
I hate mine. But I love my octopus.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:06, closed)

@ Browser
Why don't you change it then?
( Cawl, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:07, closed)

Hey
I'm not the one that ruined the cake, or whose sink may or may not be on fire.

:P
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:07, closed)

I do like my b3taname
But I can't remember how or why it came about.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:12, closed)

@POD
It was me that ruined the cake, not Kaol.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:13, closed)

Oh, I know
I know fine well it was you that ruined the cake (*angry glare*), I just wanted to point out that it wasn't me.

I in no way meant to deprive you of that moment of glory.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:14, closed)

Thank goodness for that
I would hate to think that people were not aware that it was I that ejaculated into a firm victoria sponge.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:15, closed)

i love mine*, its economical and reasonably memorable...
and more importantly is a name i coined to suggest all things furtive pervy and lewd in our infantile little office

seems fitting for me

*it's derived from the word sperm
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:35, closed)

Mine
A German girl i was once dating said

*adopt strong German accent

"Kiss me where i poo yah!"

During a rather intimate moment. I was quite taken a back. Then I laughed until i cried. Ever since then it seems a fitting name.
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:40, closed)

^^
yes, but did you?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:50, closed)

I like my name too!
Its a mixture of my actual name and a guy from Streetfighter.

Now I'm off to run up and down the corridor at work pretending to be Raul Julia flying on magnets while yelling "Game Ovah" at anyone I accidentally bump into.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:50, closed)

althegeordie
I am afraid to say that i didnt.

I was laughing far too much.

Although i swear to god her chocolate ring puckered up when she said it!!
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Mon 12 May 2008, 17:12, closed)

I'm impressed with it.
I'd just read Monstrous Regiment when I joined b3ta and my favourite character was the vampire who's replaced blood with coffee - Maladicta; it was fitting as I was a first-year who'd replaced sleep with coffee to write essays and go out and get pissed. As much as my inner Latin geek says it should be Maledicta, meaning 'cursed feminine thing', I still like it. Plus I am, and always have been, a bit of a goth.

My subtitle, however, will mean nothing to anyone unless they've watched Elfen Lied.
( Maladicta, Mon 12 May 2008, 17:14, closed)

Slight misquote but hey
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/tayside_and_central/7314643.stm
(Milo Minderbinder, Mon 12 May 2008, 17:20, closed)

Colonel Boris
happens to be the KGB Colonel who brainwashes James Bond into trying to kill M in The Man With The Golden Gun. I was then (and still am) an avid reader of the works of Fleming when I first used this name about nine years ago...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 12 May 2008, 17:23, closed)

Jazzz
I am so-called because Purple Jessop was the name of the first jazz quartet I was in. Everyone left, except me, which obviously means that I am Purple Jessop personified.
(Purple Jessop Jessoping Purple all over your father, Mon 12 May 2008, 17:53, closed)

KMWIP- awesome name
I loathe my name, but unfortunately it's apt. I had a big old handlebar moustache and "yes, yes, I grew it myself" just happened to be the most common words to leave my lips at the time.
(I grew it myself, Mon 12 May 2008, 17:57, closed)

Great thread
Carry on.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 12 May 2008, 18:03, closed)

@Maladicta
I knew the origin of your name when I first saw it, having recently read that same book.

Even now I tease my girlfriend about always having half an onion in the refrigerator.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 12 May 2008, 18:05, closed)

Yerr
I love mine too. Long live Robert Popper and Robin Cooper!
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Mon 12 May 2008, 18:17, closed)

@KMWIP
Thought you might like this.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 12 May 2008, 18:24, closed)

@ Loon
It's one of Pratchett's best, I think... darker than most of his books, but nonetheless brilliant.

Also, my scary German teacher once chased me around school when I was doing my A-levels with that 'Laeck mich im Arsch' thing, he mistakenly thought I was interested in Goethe and his grandma's correspondence relating to that phrase...
( Maladicta, Mon 12 May 2008, 18:37, closed)

@maladicta
i fucking knew it! i knew that's where you got your name from! i've read that book about 4 times so far, i may have to start reading it again tonight. :)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 May 2008, 19:04, closed)

Okaaaaaaayyy...
This may be a bit long (stop it! Now!)

My username was, in part, inspired by daytime TV advertising. How the hell does Davros, creator of the Daleks, have anything to do with advertising, you may ask. Well, he doesn't - not directly anyway.

A few years ago, I was off work - can't remember why, I was either on leave, sick, or skiving. Tourette's had the telly on mid-morning, and I was rapidly transfixed by the sheer banality of some of the adverts. One in particular had me giggling. It was an ad for a mobility chair. Not an electric wheelchair - oh no. This was a proper armchair, that moved its occupant around the living room at the flick of a switch. It had directional control and everything - a marvel to behold. The fact that the occupant would be well and truly fucked if they wanted to nip into the kitchen for a brew, being that the armchair was patently wider than the average doorframe had obviously escaped the manufacturers notice, but an interesting concept nonetheless.

Demonstrating this miracle of lazy bastard armchair technology was a Thora Hird looky-likey, beaming proudly as her chair whizzed her around her living room as she tried to locate her reading glasses. "Fuck me", said I, "she's looks like Davros' Granny in that thing".

Fast forward a couple of years, and I found myself finally registering on b3ta (more with the intent of tracking down Legless, having drifted out of contact). On being asked for a username, my drunken mind meandered back to that advert. "I can't be Davros' Granny, 'cos I'm a bloke" I reasoned (and yes, I know BobFossil and Bob Todd are of the female persuasion, but I've got age old Northern traditions to uphold here), and so Davros' Granddad was born.

On reflection, had my mind not been addled with wine that night, I might have gone for Hugh Jardon instead, but I forgot about that momentarily...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 May 2008, 20:23, closed)

I was looking
at my pack of fags. How I wish I'd had more in the way of imagination.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 12 May 2008, 20:36, closed)

Many moons ago,
When we first met Legless, his original nickname for me was "Finbar" (as in "Saunders and his double entendres").
That only lasted a couple of weeks, then he branded me Tourettes.
That is because i swear a lot because i like swearing because swearing is rude and funny.
Since my sole purpose of signing up to b3ta originally was to keep in touch with Legless, it was a no-brainer.
Then I got chatting with all you lovely b3tans and got hooked :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 12 May 2008, 20:59, closed)

I like mine too
Captain Placid is aname given to me by some training partners (Aikido). I have the face and physical demeanour of a psycho yet my friends all consider me to be a patient and calm individual. I once thought of a cartoon strip where a heavily tattooed loonball skinhead turns into his alter ego, Captain Placid, an elbow-patched, corduroy-wearing ex-hippy counsellor type, always attempting to negotiate a fair outcome for all. Of course, he always got his head kicked in by the nutjobs he had to deal with.
It never took off due to my complete inability to draw and the fact it wasn't very funny.

Ah well.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 13 May 2008, 9:07, closed)

Well I like mine
I was looking for something in the vein of 'Attila the Stockbroker' but less fascistic and less middle-class.

I guess it places me in a pretty specific era and geographical location and, I trust, gives something of the flavour of the man: a one-time revolutionary stuck in a boring office job.

I think I'll get me one of those 'Que' tee-shirts - or better still, commission a real Che Grimsdale one.

Viva la revolucion...and make another pot of tea.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 13 May 2008, 11:07, closed)

Not great but....
I guess it suits me. Femail, on the porky side and occaisionally a bit of a diva. Oh, and my bf looks a bit like a frog....
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 13 May 2008, 11:33, closed)

I kind of stole mine from some friends.
They had travelled the length of France in a hire car on what was probably a great holiday.

It was a trip I should have attended but work prevented it and I was forced to stay behind.

Upon their return I endured literally minutes of tales about their expedition, with only one thing actually sticking:

Gunter The Munter Hunter.

It came to the fore again during a later voyage to Munich (which I managed to go on)... after that; I nicked it.
( Moey, Tue 13 May 2008, 14:03, closed)

Mine's a bit shit really...
First day of 6th form I meet a new mate, end up chatting about all sorts of shit.

Can't remember how the conversation came round to it, but talk turned to religion, or the mocking of it.

He said "If I could be arsed, I'd become the new antichrist"
My response "So you're a theist then?"
"Nah, i'm agnostic really"

I laughed for about the next ten minutes, and so my username was born!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 May 2008, 10:09, closed)

Mine is a Star Wars wank joke.
Says all you need to know about me, really.

I am actually small and hairless.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 14 May 2008, 10:48, closed)

Bah
I want to shorten my username to Emmy but someone else has registered it. :/

Edit: Awesome - took inspiration from Kiss.me.where.I.poo and it worked!
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Wed 14 May 2008, 11:09, closed)

I think, for me, it was a deep-seated psychological thing...
I have long since referred to myself as 'Devil in Tights', but really couldn't fathom why for the longest time.

Then I realised - it's an homage to an episode of the TV Comedy LEGEND that is Bottom. More specifically, Rik Mayall in the Episode 'Terror'.

Go seek!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 14 May 2008, 14:38, closed)