Not me...
But someone I know, and not real but a dream. And not really good luck....but it's funny:

A guy I know once had a dream that he'd got into the uni that he really wanted, got into the best room in the best halls and had some excellent flatmates. Loan came through double and much fun was had. Until he opened the curtains in his palace of a room to find, looming outside obscuring all view, a giant billboard with a poster of Lisa Riley...
( BlueHaze Chutney. All good., Fri 15 Sep 2006, 21:49, Reply)

For every good post you get on here you always get some really FUCKING SHIT ONES

and as luck would have it, I'm just the man who can supply them.
(Lt Columbo, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 21:16, Reply)

When I was at university
I worked at the student bar. One of the full time staff had the same name as me. She was changing the barrells once and went into labour, which was a shock for her as she didn't know she was pregnant.

I got a shock when I was paid her maternity pay the next month! Woo! Much beer ensued. I've never told anyone that before either.
( Rubymurray is disdainful of your hateful, ill-formed opinions, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 20:55, Reply)

Being laid off's the best thing that ever happened to me....
I had been working for a medical delivery company in Houston, TX for 4 years. In October 2002, they announced that we were all getting laid off in December so just get ready for it.

It just so happened that the same company had a position open in Pittsburgh, PA and that they could set up an interview for me much closer to home in Dallas, TX. I went to the interview, it was horrible, humilating and just bad but afterwards I went to visit an old high school friend of mine who lived in Dallas.

He let me crash at his house that night. When I work up the next morning, a sign had been hung from the ceiling of the hallway "You Have An Interview At My Company at 11:30." so I got dressed in my same nice interview clothes from the night before, went to the company and got hired on the spot.

My first Christmas bonus was $11,000.
(local_weather rarely posts anything, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 20:49, Reply)

Got another one
Struck up an online conversation with a lass last year. Things were going tickety-boo until she told me that she and her ex were "going to try again". I went out with somone else for a few months, during which time she messed up my head, finally dumping me and making believe it was my fault.
Was online one night, feeling very low and up pops original girl that I'd not been in contact with for six or seven months.
We celebrate our first anniversary in a couple of weeks and she's paid for a couple of nights in a posh hotel in the Lakes, along with the promise of prolonged dirty sex for much of the duration!
(Ghostlight, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 20:35, Reply)

Inland Revenue
1999, I was temporarily unemployed and it was getting dangerously close to Christmas. I ended up getting a temp job, which totally blew but it meant that i would have a bit of cash to buy my nearest and dearest stuff for Christmas and maybe even have myself something to eat.
Because I was a temp, I wasn't eligible for the company's yearly £1000 bonus. Unlucky. But being a bit of a philosophical gent, I shrugged it off.
Two days before Christmas I get paid and find out that I've only been paid for two weeks, not four and, because I didn't have the right tax code, I came out with about sixty quid. Gutted, i drove home (in the car that I'd borrowed money off my mum to buy because I'd nearly killed myself a few months before in another one), wondering how the hell I was going to pay rent, let alone eat. I get inside and pick up the post to find a letter from the Inland Revenue with a cheque inside for three hundred and fifty quid! Result!
(Ghostlight, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 20:04, Reply)

I found £20 on the floor once
It was mine, but still, I found it :)
( Drunken Vet, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 19:51, Reply)

car
Bought a car for 200 quid, did it up, then I thought to myself "oh fuck no one wants it"

Ended up selling the number plate for 2 grand

ZIIIING
(isketchmaster, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 19:23, Reply)

Fortunately
I'm being packed off to Switzerland in about a month's time, to the university I wanted, and the accommodation I wanted, even though I handed all the forms in late. The only thing that can go wrong is I get my network connection and find out they've blocked b3ta, MSN and everything else I like.

As an opposite example, I made arrangements to go and visit a friend from uni in Sussex a couple of months ago. Something like the 24th of July. The day I book my train I'm listening to the radio and an advert comes on: "GUNS N ROSES! FIRST TOUR IN TEN YEARS! LIVE AT THE NEC ON 24TH JULY!"

Fucksocks.
( Maladicta, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 18:27, Reply)

b3ta.com
Found b3ta.com to help pass the hours at work. Nothing is more fortunate than that.
(veniceboy lives in California, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 17:54, Reply)

the best hangover ever
I worked at the local supermarket and they had quite decent rates for working on public holidays so one new years I foolishly decided that if I started work at 1pm on New years day I'd be fit for work after the big night. The new year was welcomed in with lots of nasty cheap vodka and spewing up. I straggled into work after cleaning myself up as I'd even puked all over myself in my boyfriends car on the way home. I was there all of 10 minutes when I realised they had loads of staff and didn't need me until later on so I high-tailed it home to sleep it off (puking in my car along the way as I was too embarrassed to be seen spewing wearing my uniform in the car park). Feeling still a little fragile but more stable 5 hours later I wobbled back into work. I was ever so stoked the next week looking at my paycheck I had somehow stuffed up in swiping in and out and they'd paid me the whole day at time and a half (admittedly this was sweet f'all, but at the time it was a goldmine). Ahhh there is nothing better than being paid to sleep.
(toffee pop, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 17:50, Reply)

A new start...................
I'm in an unhappy marriage but lack the balls to get out, plus I'm out of my depth at work (BT) but lack the balls to...... Then out of the blue my (now) ex tells me SHE wants out and then a week later my manager phones me up to ask if I'd like a "golden handshake" of £30k plus an index-linked pension for the rest of my life.He tells me I have to let him know by the end of the week - Took me two seconds........ Gave some of the cash to my soon-to-be ex and now I'm in a better job with a lovely lady and that ever-increasing pension too! Oh, and today my free Ipod arrived for opening a new bank account!!
(niknak, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 17:47, Reply)

What fantastic luck!
I think not.

Heading to the bar in my local, to buy my second or so drink with my last bit of change, I spy a £20 note on the floor. Bob down to pick it up, stuff it in my pocket. Result, thinks I, a few more beers with this. A while later, go to the bar, open my wallet. Empty. Never mind, I thought, I've got that £20 I found. Funny that, I could have sworn I got £20 out of the cash point on the way here...

Yep. I'd dropped the £20 buying my first drink and hadn't noticed. I effectively stole £20 off myself.

Just goes to show, kids, honesty is the best policy. Mind you, I can just imagine had I handed it in, then had to go back an hour later to explain that I'd merely given them my own £20 to look after.

I am a stupid, stupid bitch.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 17:01, Reply)

We think my uncle's quite lucky
He was due to fly to New York from Florida at about 10am on 9th Sept 01.

He had a holiday in Egypt a week or so before they bombed the tourist areas.

He lives in London and used to get the tube to work - he was safely at work last July when it all kicked off there too.

Good timing or luck - you decide.
(nutty_nut_nuts, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 17:00, Reply)

It drives her cuckoo

My girlfriend likes me to tickle her bum with a feather. Fortunately, my mother has just recently bought a pet budgie.
(Lt Columbo, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 16:40, Reply)

scratchcard
just over a year ago won £500 on a £2 scratchcard . wasted it all
(red devil, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 16:38, Reply)

Fake lotto.
My mate James taped the lotto one Saturday. He wrote down the winning numbers, then bought a ticket for the next week's draw with EXACTLY the same numbers.

The next Saturday came around and he left the ticket on the sideboard.

(If you can't see where this one is going - you're an idiot)

So he shouts to his flatmate "Andy, I'm heading out - will you check my lotto ticket? It's on the sideboard! Thanks". And then he left the TV on, with the tape playing.

Sure enough, the numbers came up one by one and Andy went through the f**king roof! Had a real crisis of concience deciding whether to keep the £12.6m he'd just 'won', and pretend it was his own ticket.

Half an hour later, James came back, explained the ruse, pointed and laughed in his face.

The lads didn't speak for about 3 weeks afterwards.
(Flickr_Freak is a figment of your imagination., Fri 15 Sep 2006, 16:05, Reply)

God I wish this was me.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Y8rX9P0dtQ&NR

sorry about the link but its pretty appropriate.
(Michael J Fox is having a shaky start., Fri 15 Sep 2006, 16:03, Reply)

Pooh turns to woo
First post hooorah!!!

I was at a well known Scottish Music Festival with my lovely wife.

Being a particularly nice laydee she freaks out at the state of the toilets, piles of pooh, used tampons, condoms etc etc all very nice NOT.

However she almost wet her panties when she noticed a row of portaloos being cleaned before our very own eyes.

They clean the loos using a massive hoover type of contraption to suck up the 2 day old festival toilet water. The hose of the hoover snaked its way past us in the q to the bogs.

My missus gets to the front of the q turns round to me and says "That hose doesn't look safe" just as she closes the bog door behind her.

At the very moment her door closed the hose exploded covering me head to toe in 2 days of bog water..... :-(

Not all bad news though I sent my story to FHM and it was true story of the month and I won a £350 digital camera.

Woo Hoo


sorry for length hope you like it
(weeblackhelicopter, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 16:02, Reply)

The Offspring
A few years ago now, I won a competition to watch SoCal punks The Offspring filming a session for the now sadly defunct Top Of The Pops. This was not, unexpected good fortune - just the regular sort of good fortune.

No, the good fortune bit was getting Sony Records permission to take my 10-year old son along only to arrive at Elstree to be told by security we couldn't go into the studio because my son was under 15. The Sony "handler" was so horribly embarrassed that instead of going to watch TOTP being filmed, we got introduced to the bands A&R man, who promptly took us backstage into the band's dressing room, photos with the band, got to sit with them whilst they did an interview for Radio 1, bumped into Shania Twain in the corridor (phwoar!), they gave us some signed 10x8's and graciously signed a stack of CDs for us as well. Then we got to watch their set for TOTP on a giant monitor in a backstage area...

An absolute horror of unexpected good furtune.
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 16:02, Reply)

Mobility!
During early summer this year I'd reached the point where I really wanted wheels. I saved up, applied for a driving licence, booked CBT and bought a whole load of motorcycle gear. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough to pay for the prospective moped, and didn't even have my eye on any particular one for that matter. My dad and I frequently checked ebay for local good deals. I'd point out to him the ones I liked the look of, or cheap ones, and he'd point out the pros and cons, email the seller and ask for specifics.

So, may comes, exams start, and mopeds get ignored in favour of revision. One fine summer's day, after acing a science exam, I return home to find my dad in the living room with a big grin on his face, and he calls me to the computer. Pointing to a picture of a moped, he says: "See that moped? That's yours!"

Fantastic day! :-)
(once_upon_a_time, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 15:59, Reply)

Once in a lifetime
Back at the end of the eighties (god, was it really that long ago?) I was playing in a band doing early music, complete with elizabethan costume and funny instruments. We were playing on the street at the Scarborough Fair when this guy came up to us and said 'How would you like to come and play at Scarborough Beach in Australia?' We thought - pull the other one etc etc. A Few months later we are in Perth, Western Oz, Club class flights full board at luxury hotel and four weeks paid holiday, with the odd bit of playing thown in.
Lucky b***ards or what?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 15:56, Reply)

Car wreck
Back in 1988, I was in a car wreck and sufferred a closed-head injury. Not so fortunate, true. I also flat-lined three times in the hospital. Also not so great, but I'm still typing this message, and I think that's kind of fortunate.

I also stumbled upon b3ta about 3.5 years ago, and have met some of the most wonderful intelligent and creative people, had lots of fun, learned a lot, and met someone I've fallen in love with. Thanks b3ta!
( Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Fri 15 Sep 2006, 15:35, Reply)

Had to work for it..
But was approached to do some odd days here and there for a company and was told that after tax it would be £180 per day, that's not bad going really for me, after a pause and sharp intake of breath as I was impressed they took that to mean I wanted way more, then offered £250 per day (about half 9-4 with lots of breaks).
(inkworm, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 15:31, Reply)

I once had a drug debt
that needed to paid pronto or risk beatings.

I can't remember how much the actual debt was (somewhere between £200-£300, i think), but i managed to get together all but about £40-odd.

Normally i would have appealed to the dealers good nature and give me a few more days to get the rest, but i happened to know that this particular chap didn't have a good nature.

Still, it was late so there were no shops open where i could sell some stuff, so i had no choice but to go to his house and hope that he was in a good mood.

On the way there i found £55 by the side of the road.

I smiled.
(MrTrent cannot think of a clever sig., Fri 15 Sep 2006, 15:21, Reply)

How about this for luck
Unexpected good fortune?

Well I was born into quite a rich family. Well I say quite rich, I mean absolutely stinking rich, and then it turned out I was heir to the throne. And I don't have to have number plates so I can go down all the bus lanes and through red lights and that, and no-one can fucking touch me.

And I've met Rolf Harris.
(The Queen, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 15:12, Reply)

Terrorists lost, I won.
I was flying home in August this year, London - Malmö, Sweden.

I had a nice big bottle of whiskey to give to my dad for his birthday, but the day before some very nasty people were caught trying to blow up a load of planes. I couldn't take it in the cabin and I don't trust bagage handlers enough not to smash a whiskey bottle in a soft rugsack.

Had to keep the whiskey bottle at home.
Such a shame.
(Squash, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 15:10, Reply)

blush
that would be me .. hurrah!
(flibbley lame balloon man far and wee, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 15:04, Reply)

blush
yeah, the love of a very bad man. Lucked out.
(Siouxfan I'm not staring at you, I am just short sighted, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 14:59, Reply)

Is this Clare?
A long time ago I met a girl in a nightclub who (at the time and in my drunken state) I thought looked a bit like a slightly fat Gwyneth Paltrow.

I was kipping on a friends floor that night, and bounced in proudly displaying her number on a scrap of paper. Which he promptly ate for a laugh.

After fishing it out of his mouth and sulking in my car overnight, we tried to piece it together the next morning. I could make out 3 of the 6 numbers.

The local numbers all seemed to begin with "2" so I only had 100 numbers to dial to find my true love. I made a grid and started dialling.

At about the 70th number I asked for Clare and was put through to her.

"Could I speak to Clare please?"
I was put through to her.
"This is Clare"
"Do you remember meeting a lanky bloke in a nightclub last night who thought you looked like Gwyneth Paltrow?"
"No... Oh hang on - you must mean my friend Claire. She doesn't live here. Do you want her number?"
"Yes, yes I do!"

She gave me the number. I rang it. It was her. We spent 2 months together till she realised I was a knob (result!). And yes, I got laid.

The number she had actually given me was COMPLETELY different to what I thought I had made out from the chewed remains of her number. Not one common digit.

Everything that you have read here is true. Except she looked nothing like Paltrow.
(lemmiwinks, Fri 15 Sep 2006, 14:51, Reply)