I sit to wipe, cannot do otherwise, it's inexplicable but to stand and wipe would mess with my head (so to speak). Candid discussions with friends suggest I am alone in this methodology.
(Amberleaf, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:29, 14 replies)

To wipe your bum/fanny I presume you mean?
To stand up after a poo would mean it goes all over your bum hole and then you have to spread your cheeks whilst standing up, and, after a wee the excess fluid would dribble down your leg even after 'shaking the lettuce leaves'. Fucking hippies.
(Bababoon, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:38, closed)

I thought was normal
and practical. Once you stand up, your buttocks close up meaning restricted access to the nipsy
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:47, closed)

It's comforting to hear I'm not alone! I'm referring to my anoos btw, I do not posses a gwat.
(Amberleaf, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 14:55, closed)

You are utterly correct
Take 3 squares. Fold. Wipe arse while still sitting. Repeat until clean.
(Designated Slagger, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:38, closed)

I don't even sit down to shit.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:09, closed)

I don't even stand still
walk as you shit is the way to only way to go in today's fast-paced society.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:27, closed)

I wear a kilt and throw cartwheels.
Everyone's a winner.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:37, closed)

Your friends are either
* very odd
* too fat to reach round their own arses
or
* having you on
( Zuowan, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 15:18, closed)

sit
Obviously, otherwise your cack goes all over your cheeks.
(lordy lordy, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 16:14, closed)

In the words of Michael Jackson......
"you are not alone" so many of my friends stand to wipe their arses and I find it utterly counter intuitive! Surely it is better to wipe a fully exposed pucker than stand and risk smearing faecal matter about the cleft!!!!!1
(superfly78, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 18:49, closed)

Amen brother. Sitting down affords one so many anal options, the leverage gained by this position allows total control over cheek separation. Perhaps those that stand (presumably with legs slightly bent and arse thrust out) are subconsciously expressing their desire for a good hard bumming?
(Amberleaf, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 20:00, closed)

If you were supposed to stand,
they'd put the toilet roll further up the wall.
(yourmumonastickwithmintsauce, Thu 15 Dec 2011, 21:42, closed)

So..
How do you admire your work?
(b1tchell failed to learn English, Fri 16 Dec 2011, 17:21, closed)

A happy half-way house.
You're all fools; sitting down and you're wafting your hand around the bowl, you fucking perverts; stand up and you're blocking access to the Full Ring.

The answer is a half-up, half-down posture, arse extended backwards with thighs at approximately 55 degrees to your calves. Your hand is then nowhere near the filthy toilet and you have unhindered access to your shitty piece.

Plus, you'll never need use that thigh-master ever again
(Go on , touch it, Mon 19 Dec 2011, 16:45, closed)