So, got drunk tonight
went home, girlfriend away, filled with an urgent desire to communicate. So far have sent messages to people I haven't seen for years, left worrying voicemail to a former housemate I haven't seen in 15 years who's now in Australia, now posting on /talk which will result in doubtless flaming.
Why does alcohol make us convivial like this ? And, if you were drunk, who would you call up, and why not call them up when sober ?
( I_Was_Mordred, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:56, archived)

Piss off.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:56, archived)

not exactly prolix
are you ?
( I_Was_Mordred, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:57, archived)

I don't know.
What the fuck's a prolix?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:58, archived)

Having the tendency to write at great length

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:00, archived)

Smart bint.
But Lambrini? FFS.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:02, archived)

The cherry one was left here
By my boss. Mainly cos he'd drank about 6 bottles and was staggering home.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:04, archived)

It means "wordy"
as in using lots of words. Yes, pretentious of me to say that, but better surely than just saying "no, you piss off" which is the obvious retort.
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:00, archived)

go fuck yourself.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:02, archived)

another advocate
of the pithy response. My, it's like the cat has your tongue, isn't it.
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:03, archived)

go shit yourself you fat spazz.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:04, archived)

fuck
I didn't realise my webcam was on.
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:05, archived)

go on wankstain.
stick a chair up it.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:05, archived)

Hot wax you b3taday cunt.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:03, archived)

go on, fuck your mum to death

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:04, archived)

Too late.
She's already fucked to death and I'm working on my dad.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:05, archived)

Happy b3taday Gobbo!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:04, archived)

yeah fuck you too.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:04, archived)

In your dreams fucko.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:08, archived)

Happy Candleday.
*Supplies cake*
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:05, archived)

fuck off you fucking twat.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:05, archived)

HAPPY CANDLE CUNT

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:06, archived)

cram it cat breath

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:07, archived)

FUCKCKIRSNF CANDLEM LEF FINBUIRHTDAY FUCK!

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:10, archived)

All the same,
fuck off.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:03, archived)

why ?
I might have lots of interesting things to say. I might not, granted, but that's a bit of a knuckle-grazing response, isn't it ?
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:04, archived)

you clearly don't have anything interesting to say you fat poof.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:05, archived)

au contraire
I might have lots to say, to impart - give me a chance. Go on, suggest a topic for discussion - anyone can say "fuck off" behind the anonymity of a keyboard...are you this "hard" in real life ?
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:06, archived)

i once killed a bear, if that's what you mean you ugly dog eater.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:07, archived)

you are Sarah Palin
I claim my $5 etc etc
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:09, archived)

Pounds, retard.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:11, archived)

not in america!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:12, archived)

And THAT'S why their economy is fucked.
Oh, wait...
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:14, archived)

There's nothing wrong with eating dog.
Or being ugly.
( Zuowan, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:26, archived)

Your mum's gaping minge.

( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:07, archived)

No, you just want to show people you know words that you think are clever.
But it just makes you look like a twat.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:08, archived)

I'm willing to bet actual money that he'll start whinging about "cliques" before long.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:09, archived)

Oh, he's terribly intellectual, I can't cope with all the superiority.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:10, archived)

yes, but unlike most
at least I would pronounce the word correctly, instead of saying "click" like most idiots do...
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:11, archived)

right on sister!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:12, archived)

Hahaha.
I bet you're single.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:12, archived)

you can shut up as well you slut

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:13, archived)

Cock off, fuckhead.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:14, archived)

go shag a donkey, bigtits.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:14, archived)

ha ha ha
no, I'm not. Read my first post "girlfriend not here"...

bet you're repressed.
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:13, archived)

i have a hundred girlfriends!
look, it says so on the internet.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:14, archived)

I've stolen the girlfriends of everybody else in the nation.
They're all in a warehouse in Preston.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:17, archived)

Yes, obviously.
Wow, she's a lucky girl, that she has such a clever man who can pronounce clique, unlike most people, apparently. I hope whoever she's fucking behind your back is less of a dick.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:14, archived)

i've never thought pronunciation was important in a chat room
it's like spelling in a pub
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:17, archived)

The Tamworth Red Lion Scrabble champion would shit if he read this.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

Well, it's not, as it's written down.
I suppose some people need to grab the least thing to feel superior about.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

well, given your username
you obviously don't think much of yourself, sexually speaking.
Trust me, not everyone cheats on you. Sorry it's happened to you in the past, maybe you should look at yourself and ask "why is it happening to me all the time ?". Because it doesn't happen to everyone...
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:20, archived)

Haha, what?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:21, archived)

I see you've run out of facts and fallen back on an advanced literary technique known as "making things up".
Keep going, that's £30 I'm on now.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:24, archived)

Girlfriend not here, cause you ain't got one ennit.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:15, archived)

Thanks mate, you just earned me £10.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:16, archived)

He's the man at the party who tries to start conversations, trying to
sound sober, and ends up with everyone calling him a twat when they've finally got rid of him.
( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

Piston?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:19, archived)

Piston?

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:19, archived)

I love you.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:21, archived)

*gays*

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:22, archived)

KEEP IT OFF THE BOARD, VODKACOKE.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:24, archived)

HAI, WANT TO PLAY WITH ME?
I HAVE A METH HEAD, I'M WELL SEXY.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:27, archived)

LET ME JUST CHECK THE CONTENTS.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:30, archived)

He probably talks about philosophy a lot :(

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:21, archived)

Is there enough time for philosophy AND himself?

( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:41, archived)

Oh no
You're one of them
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:13, archived)

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHICH CLIQUES I'M MEANT TO BE IN.
I'VE LOST TRACK.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:20, archived)

your posts so far suggest otherwise

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:09, archived)

you should read his profile qotw stuff.
it's staggeringly inept.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:10, archived)

whereas you of course
are an Emeritus Professor...
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:12, archived)

i never claimed to be anything other than a worthless useless sack of shit.
you, however, have misguided aspirations.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:13, archived)

no, not aspirations
I *know* I'm a moment in time, an irrelevance in the great scheme of things.
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:14, archived)

so why do you have to keep fucking children :(

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:15, archived)

It's cause you're a fucking cunt though ennit.
You fucking cunt.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

STOP BULLYING HIM SSG
HE COULD WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR WRITING THINGS ON THE INTERNET
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:15, archived)

I BET YOU PRONOUNCE THAT NOBLE LIKE MOST IDIOTS UNLIKE ME WHO IS A CLEVER PERSON NOT AN IDIOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WHO PRONOUNCES SOMETHING A WAY I SAY THEY DO

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:16, archived)

I'M THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW WHO PRONOUNCES TARAMASALATA CORRECTLY
I FEEL SO ALONE IN THIS WORLD :(((((
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

SSG IRL LOL
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:10, archived)

haha, YES!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:11, archived)

Who's this cunt?

( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:06, archived)

He was Mordred, but I'm not sure who he is now.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:07, archived)

I'm not sure who he is, but I've a fair idea what he is.

( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:08, archived)

pfft

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:10, archived)

If you don't know who I am
then surely it's a bit "previous" to suggest I'm a cunt. I might be a prick for all you know - and then wouldn't you feel stupid for getting your sexual swearwords misaligned, gender-speaking...
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:08, archived)

Oh god, it's like Robin Johnson before he grew up
all over again.
( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:11, archived)

you're definitely a cunt.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:11, archived)

Aye, he's a cunt, like.

( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:11, archived)

Are you American?

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:11, archived)

probably French

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:12, archived)

So then,
How do you think this thread is going so far?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:13, archived)

i heard he once punched a swan in the throat :(
just to prove he wasn't gay like.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:15, archived)

well, it's a distraction
which is all I was after. And I'm sure it's fun for all of you, flaming me rather than each other - it's great when a new kid comes into the classroom and you can attack them rather than yourselves, isn't it ?
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:16, archived)

i once did your mum in her anus.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

I AM ABOVE ALL OF THIS.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

It mainly depends on whether the new kid is a complete bell-end or not.

( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:19, archived)

But on the internet, it's invariably someone else's fault.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:22, archived)

JMG's usally.

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:32, archived)

See mate
I'm assuming you're not English, because 'cunt' in England is normally (but not always) used to describe a male. And this being a board full of mainly British people, found by British people, then you're in no position to tell US we've mixed our words up.

EDIT: Your profile makes you appear British, so you're obviously just one very confused person./
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:15, archived)

please don't get involved thicky.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:17, archived)

Oh just shut up

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:19, archived)

poor thicky thickins :(
it's okay though, in today's society, people with your intelligence are well looked after.
you can almost live a normal life!
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:24, archived)

What a fucking cunt.
Your fucking cunting protestations over being a fucking cunt merely serve to prove you're more a fucking cunt than I originally first thought, you fucking cunt.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:20, archived)

A character in Asterix.
Edit: a soothsayer, apparently.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:08, archived)

Alice?

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:57, archived)

communic masturb
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:57, archived)

get a job!

( MrA, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:58, archived)

been there, done that
quite happy not having one at the moment, thanks anyway.

And if that's meant to imply "why are you up so late" then have you no job yourself ? Glass houses, stones etc etc
( I_Was_Mordred, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:59, archived)

I have a very good one thankyouverymuchcunto
but, yes get a job!

*points to the job center*
( MrA, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:00, archived)

have worked
for many years. Not working is better - until the money runs out...
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:02, archived)

I agree
Not working is ace
(Lady of leisure, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:05, archived)

I admire thee bloke who sold his house and bought a lot of gold with the money.
What a genius.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:06, archived)

... or the cancer sets in
yes that right not having a job gives you cancer. Go get a job and live longer.

*this post is sponsored by the Department of Work and Pensions*
( MrA, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:07, archived)

You twat.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:58, archived)

Beer make brain wrong.

( Zuowan, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:58, archived)

I'd call my ex
And tell him [his ex] left me a message saying could I get in touch with you cos she's got AIDS and daren't tell him.

And not sober because I'm actually nice.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 23:59, archived)

I'd call you and tell you to fuck you.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:00, archived)

I don't call anyone when I'm drunk.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:03, archived)

Also, Fuck off back to QOTW.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:05, archived)

Ooh, sorry
have I walked into the wrong playground ?!?
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:10, archived)

Yes you have you fucking cunt.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:12, archived)

Looks that way, don't it?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:16, archived)

What a fucking cunt this cunt has fucking turned out to be.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:17, archived)

yes well
at least I've given you all an opportunity to improve your typing skills hammering out the vitriol...
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:19, archived)

Oh, well I better wander off then hadn't I
as it seems you have *far* more important things to talk about...
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

Learn to use italics, retard.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:20, archived)

ha ha ha
yes I can use italics quite well - criticising me not using them is scrapping the barrel a bit, isn't it ?

Surely an insult about my mother would be aiming a little higher, huh ?
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:23, archived)

I'm afraid I don't know anything about scrapping barrels.
Perhaps you should improve your English before saying imaginary people don't pronounce things correctly.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:29, archived)

You've lurked for a year and still didn't realise how this place works?
Jog on.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:23, archived)

Alcohol in 'reducing inhibitions' shocker

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:03, archived)

Haha, you're a colossal wanker.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:04, archived)

Alcohol is a social lubricant.
I don't like calling people, and I don't drink
( CowJam, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:06, archived)

What DO you do?

( Druid, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:07, archived)

I wish someone would hide my phone from me when I'm drunk.
I text and call anyone I can.
I talked on the phone with my friend's grandmother for a half hour once.
You'll feel like a right tit tomorrow.
Oh and piss off back to QOTW, etc.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:14, archived)

i'm feeling my right tit now

( scott,, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:16, archived)

uh huh

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:18, archived)

it's hairy

( scott,, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:20, archived)

Yes but, I can't touch it so I don't want to know.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:23, archived)

i'll let you know next time i'm touring the states with my Touch The Tit show

( scott,, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:26, archived)

:D
_KkKkKkkKkrRRrRr_rIIiIiiIiiiI_sSsS^tTtTTTTtTTiIiiIIiInN^nnnNnNEeeeEeEE_!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:21, archived)

OH HELLO
ssSSssSSsssSssSssSSttttTTtt^TTTTTTtttTTtttTTT^UUuuUUUUU_UUUuuuUUUUUUuuJJJJjjjjJJjj^JJjjJJ!!1111!!11_!!!^!!11!!!!111!!11^!!!1!11!!!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 0:25, archived)