My Mum shagged Sting.
No matter how hard you try, you cannot beat this claim to fame.
But I want to watch you fail anyway.
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

My Mum is Sting.

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

my mum has a stinger

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Whose mum didn't shag Sting though?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

your last line reminds me of a two gallants song
and so it's my favourite post of yours, ever.
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

also, a friend's mum has kicked one of erasure up the arse while he had his head stuck in a fence

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

Epic, but...
Mum Shagged Sting.
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Did it last for hours?

( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

Roxanne's still at it.

( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Are you sure your mum isn't Roxanne?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

No one's quite sure about Wormulus's parents

( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

One of my best mates had Hornblower.
He's got a better (shitter) name.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

That is quite flair
Did you make lots of jokes about her blowing his horn?
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

She doesn't like to talk about it.
Also, that bloke from the real hustle, the tall dark haired one.

I've sat on 3/4 of Slayer, but that's a bit tame.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

He didn't 'bad touch' her did he?
I'm not sure I could reconcile my feelings of admiration and respect for a fictional Naval hero with the reality of Iowan thingy being a rapemaster.
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

Not as far as I know.
I think he was just a bit of a prick.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

which 3/4?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

Kerry, Jeff and Tom.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

That's impressive
Where they all sat in a row, or did you sit on each of them in turn?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

Each in turn
Signing tent, backstage area, Ozzfest 02. Lombardo was sulking in the tourbus. I gave not a shit.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

3/4 of a inch

( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Horatio Hornblower is about the best name ever

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

I fucked your mum but was wearing a blonde wig and bass guitar.
I shouted "ADOODOODOO ADAADAADAA!" when I wetshouted into her neck.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

I am the real Magneto from X-Men
The films are based on my recollections.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

that is a damn good claim to fame.
I hope some of you buggers become famous so I can tell any offspring of mine that I once called [insert name here] a bummist.

I'm looking at the musical people, here.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

I'm waiting till Hex becomes famous
So I can tell the News of the World that I once licked his face whilst shouting a soliloquy from Hamlet in his ear.
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

I bounced on his trampoline
make of THAT what you will.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

He simulated anal sex with me.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

My mum punched Sooty in the face

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Fairly uncalled for
or are you being 70s telly comedy racist?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Apparently, he started it
Also: Sooty? Comedy? Pfft.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

telly comedy
as in Alf Garnett, and icky things like that.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

BLACKS, WEST HAM ETC

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Thank fuck I'm in my 20s.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

I'm catching up to you

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

Warning: 23 is shit.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

How was 22?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

I can't remember.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

awww
:(
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

It probably won't be for you, the world'd have to be pretty cruel to be mean to you.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

I hope not, it starts on the 22nd

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

\o/
you'll be fine
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

23 was fine for me.
I think I elbow dropped someone really good that year.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

It was shit for me
24 is much better, so far.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

25 10/12ths is weird because I'm closer to 30 than 20 even though I act like an 18 year old.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

I think I got stuck at 21, I'm the same.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

a guy i went to school with was asked to leave butlins by bigears

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

I'd prefer to be asked in Haven by whores

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

+a

( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

In the faace, then

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

I was on TV this weekend

( WHARRGARBL, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Are you sure it wasn't a Sting tribute act in an alley somewhere?

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Now, now, wormulus, going through the entire staff of Top Gear in one day, including catoring staff, is not quite the same thing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

I bet they all proper bum each other

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

My mum's shagged almost everyone.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Are you playing catch up?
Oh, I totally went there.

*runs*
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Polis I'm going for a casting for toni & guy this afternoon.
More smelly modelling ahoy.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

Are they cutting your hair?
You'll come out with TonyandGuytis.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

theyre cutting colouring and styling it
Which should be funny. Hairdressers really struggle with my hair.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Careful
Tony and Guy seem to give everyone the '17 year old girl trying desperately to look interesting' cut. TonyandGuytis. Good luck!
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Is she still going?
*gets in queue*
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

Sure. Go for it.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

*makes devilsh plans for mother/daughter success*

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

i showed john hurt my impression of the elephant man with a mouthful of hash brown

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

My impression is better
ASK ANYONE
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

My mate's mum shagged the drummer of Def Leppard, or something.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

I heard he gave her a good fist....oh...
nevemind
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

Oh good work.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

I am your mum.

(MooCow_Byter, Mon 11 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

Hello mate.
Get out this weekend?
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Hello Rick.
How's tricks?
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

you know what, things are good.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

My mum grew up with Phil Lynott
and when she worked for Jaguar, Tony Curtis came for a tour around the place. He kissed her on the cheek and said 'I sure do love you English girls' She pointed out to him that she was in fact Irish.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

But you said she didnt
www.b3ta.com/talk/5851423
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

She probably did shag Sting.

( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:16, archived)