JMG reporting in. Over.
In this thread we should all be in the army. Over.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

Fire at will

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

Unable to identify Will, over.
Will fire at fattest person I see, roger.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

LOL CAKE

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

Receiving your top secret messages via Gaz. Roger.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

Jammy, jammy.
"roger" would only be used to confirm that you had understood a series of instructions, not when you are issuing them, as you are here

I blame JMG.

And while we're at it, "over and out" is a contradiction in that it offers two conflicting instructions. "out" is how you finish a radio conversation. "over" requests a response.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

I've never been much of an army bloke, I'll be honest.
A friend is HEAD OF THE RAF, but that's as close as I get.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

It's nothing to do with the forces, as it goes
it's standard VHF radio protocol. The forces just happen to use it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Your friend is Queen Elizabeth
AICMFP
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Side on bring it in.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

I head five mayday and several pan calls at the weekend but I was too far away to get involved


/sailing in a force 8 blog
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

10-4 JMG,
blowing doors down now.

MOVE MOVE MOVE

Kill those Iranian Bastards.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

*Sexiest entry in a vest*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

Only if I can be an officer type
not involved in the fighting but getting sucked off by pretty young privates far behind the front line.

I'll send out jolly missives to the cannon fodder telling them how proud we all are of them and their deaths etc.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

That better be BIRDS you're on about.
We'll have none of THAT in OUR army!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

SEXISM !
of course it's birds, birds are important in the modern army. Food needs cooking, blood needs to be washed off the uniforms, and this cock isn't going to suck itself !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

*Salute*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

I expect there will be a strict fitness regime in this army?

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Oh yes. The birds must be incredibly fit.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

it's like a carry on film in this thread

( spacefish bong!, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

Raaaa-ther!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Then send a message to QOTW corps

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

they're sending in the hondas, sir
we're done for
( spacefish bong!, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

bang bang! bang! ratatatatata! pheeeeew, ting ting BOOM!

( Lightguy hail satan, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

*Grenades and shit*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

I'm making a list JMG.
It's very exciting.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
God speed.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

Not my cup of tea.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

YOUR CUP OF TEA NEEDS YOU!
*Points*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

*opens can of Diet 7-UP*
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Good luck with the avoidance of stones, with this.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

It certainly helps. Fact.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

c
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

*gets sunstroke*
*sues the MOD*
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

It's so true!
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

I don't know but I've been told
I don't know but I've been told
Jammy's words are cut from gold
Jammy's words are cut from gold
SOUND OFF
1,2
SOUND ON
3,4
( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

*Punches the clouds. Taking out several Germans*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

the hun never saw it coming.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

He was too busy putting his finger up a young jews bottom no doubt
this sort of moral turpitude is what will lose fritz the war !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

If we'd have been in World War two we'd have been in Paris most nights and in some kind of sexy tussle mit das lady hun during the day.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

basically sexy vixen night parties and daytime shooty wins

( GrandmaOfShoes, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Everybody goes on about how shite it was during the war.
They clearly never had a crack at it, our way.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

I dont know but its been said
Jay Emm Gee shoots fatties dead
I dont know but it's been heard
On their corpse he'll lay a turd
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Well I don't know what's for lunch today
It's Jay Emm Gee not Gee Emm Jay
We all know who is to blame
Gee Emm Jay is not his name
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD
JMG IS BALD AND DOLE
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

B3ta Army Ration Packs for a day is just full of Wotsits, pies and a mobile internet dongle
Choc(olate)s Away!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

Now this is top banter, right here.
*Instant promotion*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

*salutes and crys a bit*
Stiff upper lips Gums...*sniff* pull it together...hhuuuuu
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

dongle!
dongledongledongle.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

Dongle Gums

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Eddongle

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

Spdongolin

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

I bet you sing that when you see Paul in the morning ;D
*pitty patty patpat*

hooohoooohoooo!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

It's true
I poke him and sing it.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

JMG is not bald, his head just grows faster than his hair.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

JMG isn't on the dole
the Government pay him protection money.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

JMG doesnt live at his mums
he lives at your mums, for shexshy tiemsh
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

JMG doesn't repeat himself.
What you are experiencing is deja vu.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

JMG isn't a poofter
he's just so sexy, straight men fancy him.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

This is much better.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

I'll be the political wing and refuse to condemn the activities of JMG which are a legitimate response to the situation.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

I HAVE IN MY HAND A PEICE OF PAPER

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

Hubare does a TREMENDOUS Gerry Adams impression which I'm sure he's doing ALL THE TIME over in Belfast.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Or the Reverand lad nobody likes.
One of the two.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

They wouldn't recognise that as an impersonation.
In Belfast that's just talking.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

I'm polishing my bayonet RIGHT now

( broadsword, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

We'll be the shiniest army ever.
Especially with my head etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

DONKEY GUMS - WE HAVE RODEO ON OUR TAIL!
I CAN'T SHAKE HIM!
I CAN'T SHAKE HIM!

MISSILE LOCK!
DONKEY GUMS!
DONKEY GUMS! -
GUMS IS DOWN - MAN DOWN REPEAT MAN DOWN

bepbeepbeepbeepBEEPBEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP

NOOOOOOOOOOOO-BOOM
( WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

I'M HIT! I'M HIT!
I'VE GOTTA EJECT
COME ON GUMS, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT

whhhhhhhoooooooOOOOOOsssshHHHHH
( WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

TOP GUM!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

You're topgum name would be
Toonster
( WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

or Q-BALL

( WormuIus, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

This is Goat Rider requesting a fly-by

( nick the greek, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

I've just jettisoned my payload all over the keyboard.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

THIS SHIT JUST GOT FUBAR

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 19 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

*Standing ovation*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 19 May 2009, 15:25, archived)